Hasee Toh Phasee

Directed by: Vinil Mathew

Starring: Siddhart Maholtra, Parineeti Chopra

Released: 2014

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

She is supposed to be a genius, so it is a pity we are only told that but never really shown. She is also supposed to have big trouble, but we are never shown the final solution. And him? He is marrying her sister. And just really wants everything to go smoothly. Which turns impossible with her around. That is Hasee Toh Phasee in a nutshell. Not free of the predictable factor, it still deserves some slack for trying to dress the romcom with some new and unusual ideas and twists. Most notably the girl is not „Bollywood beautiful“ and even though she dons a gorgeous saree or two at some point there is never a „make over“ needed for the guy to fall in love with her.

Parineeti doesn´t have a good start in the movie. And even when you realize she is on some strange mix of medications, and not in a regular human mode, it doesn´t really make the impression of her acting any better. She goes over the top a lot, but as the film and story progress, she slowly comes to her own and really becomes the character of Meeta. By the end of the movie she will have sold it to you completely. Her scene at the airport is brilliant. She is not crying. She is bawling, sobbing and all those emotions the pills would always put under control just overflow. (but WTF that lady in the bathroom did not see her her taking all those pills and throw up later? If this happened in front of my eyes I would at least ask if everything was OK).

Even though Meeta is a more complex character (she displays both determination and utter vulnerability all wonderfully blended in one) Siddhart Malhotra, who is either all drenched from the rain or his own sweat, yet not once does he take off his shirt (take notes Karan Johar!), is more than what he seemed in his debut film, I am pleased to say. He actually has potential and does very commendable job. He remains subdued, yet convincing. The performances by both Siddhart and Parineeti, as well as their interaction (which however isn´t full of crackling chemistry) are the highlight.

As are dangerously catchy songs. I still maintain that NOBODY can "shake it like Shammi" (and picturization of the song proves me only rights), but one is really tempted to try when the tune begins to play. Zehnaseeb is lovely and so is Ishq Bulaava. The Punjabi wedding song is no great shakes, but looks good on screen. The only song I could have done without was the Drama Queen, but since it plays during the closing titles, it doesn´t disrupt the flow of the film and can be skipped.

You may smile but it won´t really "catch" you in the end. Hasee Toh Phasee makes for a nice watch and has some strong points, overall it doesn´t emerge as a memorable film though. The entertainment is cleverly served to the audience throughout, so it never really feels boring, however the bits in between are hastily filled in with some really weird nonsense gravy. For example I did not understand the need for the whole tamasha with a stolen necklace. It did not show anything about any of the characters, neither it was funny – and in the end it remain unresolved, with the real thief never being discovered or punished. Also, the „peeing“ scene was awkward and random (if you need to go and are locked in a room, how about doing it in some corner instead of right under you and sitting in it?). It also feels weird to see someone exchange a girlfriend of seven years for a girl of seven days.

Hasee Toh Phasee is a film of a promise of future actor Siddhart and possibly also of more interesting romcoms to come.

Ishaqzaade

Directed by: Habib Faisal

Starring: Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra, Gauhar Khan

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There is new star kid on the block, or rather a producer kid, since we are talking about Arjun Kapoor. And here´s hoping he´s going to take after uncle Anil rather than uncle Sanjay. In his debut, proudly presented by the Yashraj production house, Arjun and Parineeti Chopra, who has so impressed one and all in her small role in very blah Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl last year, set out to burn the world with their own take on Romeo and Juliet, and to make the emnity between their families even more intense, it´s not just them being political rivals that raises the hatred, but also the difference of religion.

Parma (Arjun) is a Hindu. A grandson of an influential politician. A local macho guy. And an ass. Cannot blame him really, after all it seems only his mother has some brains, otherwise his whole family is full of pride and think they are the most clever and awesome bunch of people all around. Zoya is a Muslim. A daughter of an influential politician. A local feisty beauty. And an idiot. Her family seems definitely less stupid than Parma´s, but they still have enough of the very same pride and again are convinced they are the most clever and awesome bunch of people all around. And since election is coming, the ever present war between the two families is anything but imaginary. Zoya can somehow cope with Parma stealing a prostitute dancing at her father´s party to dance at his grandfather´s party, but looses control once he publicly relieves himself at a poster of her dad. She stands up to him. He falls in love with her.

Or so it would seem. Why else would he follow her everywhere, asking her to go out with him? Why else would he dare to come to her yard and bear the merciless beating from her brothers? She charmed him, he claims and stares at her with his dark eyes. And she, slowly, accepts. And too falls in love. Instead of running around the trees they are learning to shoot a gun, instead of a saree floating in a gentle breeze Zoya takes shower with her clothes on while the beautiful “Pareshaan” plays in the background. Finally Parma proposes to her and after bit of a convincing Zoya agrees and in secret marries Parma according to both Muslim and Hindu rite. And according to human rite too (aka they have sex if you didn´t get that). No sooner Parma rolls off of her and the most disgusting twist ever takes place. There was no marriage, Parma says. The priest was a paid actor. He did all this to get Zoya into bed. Unmarried Muslim girl looses her virginity to a Hindu guy, who is her family´s enemy. And Parma makes sure the news is known to one and all. Zoya´s father looses election. And Zoya herself swears revenge.

"I screwed your life. LOL."

I must say that though the film kept me entertained well enough I couldn´t help but feeling something was just so so wrong. The sexism (because it is soaked with it)? Perhaps. The twist? So bloody disturbing (and disgusting as I have already mentioned)! Also the characters were rather confusing and without development jumped from one avatar to another, without explanations. And while I could possibly accept Parma´s change of heart, Zoya´s falling for him AFTER the interval remains absolutely unacceptable to me even now. There are things you do not forgive, and I can´t see why you should be proving your love for the bastard by running away with him. What Parma does to Zoya is unimaginably cruel, way more terrible than for example being unfaithful. The two of them getting together just didn´t seem like the right thing to happen, but happen it did and one had to accept it. I don´t know if complaining that the characters were stupid is in place though. Because for all the silliness and lack of logic they seemed real enough. A horrid thought of today´s youth being actually like this has been haunting me ever since. Or perhaps a confident debut by Arjun and natural performance by Parineeti make it seem so convincing? 

The ending of the film makes sense, yet it is nonsense (and am I making sense here? Huh?). Firstly – why would a girl, who knows her father is ready to kill her, go back home? Secondly – why would their families organize a massive hunt throughout a city and then a school building to kill them? You already had a scandal and you think killing your own kids will improve your image? And finally – you couldn´t find a more painful spot in his body to shoot into, right, Zoya? Who shoots their loved one in a way they suffer for long??? All in all the finale seemed half baked. As if the writers got tired of it all, of the story, of Zoya and Parma and their love.