Monday, 11 April 2011

Films I did not bother to finish

New York

Directed by: Kabir Khan
Starring: John Abraham, Katrina Kaif, Neil Mukesh, Irfaan Khan
Released: 2009
How much I could take: 48 minutes 17 seconds

New York the city is full of life, dangerous, fascinating, thrilling and engaging. New York the 2009 Hindi film is a total snooze-fest. What was it about? I´m not sure. I remember some police raid, Irfaan being a bad cop during some interrogation that lead to flashback to fluffy college memories full of parties and playing rugby, Katrina having atrocious red sections in her hair and then there was some attempt for a little romance..... Yeah – and then the tragic events from 9/11 are shown, but by that time my mind was so completely turned into a jelly I did not really get what it had to do with anything..... Performances do not save the day – on the contrary! John and Katrina combo sends „New York“ to the deepest hell, Irfaan lacks his usual grip and Neil Mukesh disappears from your mind the moment he lefts the screen frame. This film might be ideal for putting your kids to sleep, but at the same time it might have seriously bad effect on their mental health. It sure disturbed mine.

Tees Maar Khan

Directed by: Farah Khan
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Katrina Kaif, Akshaye Khanna
Released: 2010
How much I could take: 36 minutes 14 seconds

Possibly the crappiest film of the whole 2010. There may be even worse ones, but they were not as half as hyped and talked about hence the disappointment and shock over the sheer stupidity was not THAT striking. After I was disgusted by the opening titles where some freaky dancing (and yet unborn) baby indulges in some serious adultery, I was offered a truly mindless and cheap humour which had me asking my own intelligence. I was never smitten by Akshay Kumar as an actor, but I always found him at least watchable, but here he annoyed me like hell from the first second. And when the groovy Sheila Ki Jawani (the ONLY good part of the film) ended and I was presented with Katrina Kaif whom my washing machine could give a lesson or two about natural acting my patience and good will waved bye bye and went to sunbath to Italy. The reviews were promising some hope in the form of my dear Akshaye Khanna, but all the idiocy going on completely killed any desire to wait for his appearance. Watch only if your IQ equals to the one of a wooden rocking horse or you´re on drugs.

Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Omi Vaidya
Released: 2011
How long I could take: 1 hour 34 minutes 36 seconds

What a MEH movie. It isn´t really anything - not a romance, not drama, not comedy.... in fact it is really just MEH..... It was supposed to belong to all the characters, but in the end it belonged to nobody. All the characters are very shallow and you don´t care one bit for any of them. I was waiting for some relationship development between the three guys, but there is none. They simply get introduced and are best friends the next second. The women they are chasing are meh. The music is meh. The jokes are non-existent. It terribly drags and you get the feeling you are still at the beginning, because nothing is really going on. It´s like three stories put together, but having absolutely nothing in common. Ajay and Emraan are totally wasted, even though Ajay again proves his versatility and Emraan his great charisma. Meh film. Not really worth it.


Directed by: Prakash Jha
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Ajay Devgn, Nana Patekar, Arjun Rampal
Released: 2010
How long I could take: 49 minutes 3 seconds

Raajneeti is a probably a good film and it only appears here because I did not understand it. Not one bit. I´m completely untouched by my country´s politics, and to venture into the Indian one is not my idea of fun. I had the best intentions and was even willing to suffer Katrina Kaif on screen, because I LOVE Nana Patekar, really like Ranbir Kapoor and Ajay Devgan and do not mind Arjun Rampal. But the great actors were, sadly for me, involved in scheming plots and occupied by affairs that I had a very difficult time understanding or even remembering them all. I was not bored by this one, not at all. I was lost, completely lost like a puppy in the jungles of Amazon. And so I did not finish it, even though it probably is, as I have already mentioned, a good film.


  1. Yep , he is cute and can act. And is charismatic! Sadly he is, for some stupid reason unknown to me, not considered the A-list actor.

  2. Rajneeti - finished. But I still had hard time understanding. XD And TMK - I should have done the same, and quit after half an hour. Seriously.

  3. You should have!!! It would have saved you a lot of pain.

  4. I'm guessing it's because of career choices and bad relationships "/ I heard something about SRK & other Muslim BW actors getting mad at him because he made up a story about an apartment owner not renting to his family because of his religious beliefs.

  5. Well, that should NOT have anything to do with his professional life... (I miss the shrug smiley here).

  6. I'm staying away from New York, but I think that TMK wasn't as bad as most people found it - except for that Baby-Song. DTBHJ was kind of how you described it, whether here nor there. As I'm really into politics, I absolutely enjoyed Raajneeti, well, except for the Western girl... Forgot her name.

  7. I think one of the major turnoffs in TMK for me was Katrina. I really cannot watch her, makes me cringe. And I really found it a bad attempt at masala....

  8. Agree on ALL counts regarding TMK!!!! That opening sequence still gives me nightmares..

  9. No, Ally, it shouldn't, but unfortunately it does. I don't blame SKR and Salman Khan for getting upset since Emraan fabricated the story, but I do wish he could get a little further in his career. I hope for the best for him.

  10. Bolly Hood - thank you for your support!!! :D

    Kassy - you obviously know more then me about Bollywood internal matters! :D

  11. Are you being sarcastic? xD

  12. Tees Maar Khan was the biggest let down last year - I even went to a cinema in India to see it! I loved New York, and the songs. Tu Jo Na Kaha...

    Guys check out my blog for a light-hearted funny take on Bollywood!

  13. Hi and thank you for the comment! As you have asked I have added you to the link list. It is just a bit confusing now as your blog has the same name as another one already in the list.

  14. I'd like to think my IQ is higher than that of a wooden object, though Tees Maar Khan sure did a lot to insult it. Both Akshay and Akshaye were the (relative) saving graces of that movie for me.

    Always glad to meet another Akshaye Khanna fan :)

  15. Whoever likes Akshaye Khanna has an IQ higher then a wooden rocking horse for sure! :) I like to exagarate sometimes, do not take me too seriously.

    Thank you for stopping by! :)

  16. DBHJ was the epitome of a MEH movie! I really can't stand the girl Ajay gets paired with. And Divya Dutta is not suited for a negative role, and after 3 Idiots Omi was disappointing in this. OTOH, I LOVED Rajneeti, because I can recognise the story and the context. But I see how confusing it would have been for someone who familiarity with neither Indian politics or the Mahabharata.

  17. Oh Gosh, I actually had to sit through TMK, it was so painful. We had free tickets so went to the theaters.
    I only liked Akshay Khanna

  18. june the filmifan in ireland15 January 2012 at 20:52

    At the beginning of 'Rajneeti,' I have to agree that I was a bit confused and wss worried that I'd get lost in all the political stuff. But then my hubby, who's only just recently gotten into Hindi films (after 12 years of teasing me, he finally 'gets' the appeal, LOL), said, 'Y'know, this is kinda like a filmi version of 'The Godfather.'). That was a real 'a-ha' moment for me in terms of enjoying and understanding the film much better. Although I'm not a fan of Katrina's, she wasn't too annoying in this film.

    Now, as for 'DTBHJ,' because of my big-time crush (okay...bordering on lust sometimes, LOL - he's just soooo adorable and so naughty boy sexy, I confess!) I just couldn't wait to see this film. About 20 minutes into it, I was thinking, 'Emmm...okay...this is going to start to pick up and start to gel. It'll either be a comedy for the first half, then serious, or it'll be a farcical David Dhawan type romp all the way through.' I also thought, 'The music's gonna get better. The story's gonna get better. The dialogues are going to get better.' I completely agree with you on this one - it was just sooooooo MEH. As in, nothing. I think Ajay is an excellent actor, and I think Emraan, even with the charisma that he exudes, is in his own right an excellent actor, too. I also ask the question - why is this man regarded as a 'B' actor, and not up there with the mighty Khans and Akshay? I can list so many films that even my husband said, 'Wow...this guy really has this understated, less-is-more appeal about his acting.'

    But in this film, as with Ajay, he was wasted. Completely wasted. Especially after their excellent pairing off one another in 'OUATIM' - they were both truly outstanding!

    It's very, very, very, very rare - as in, pretty much NEVER - that I can't get through an entire film and have to switch it off if it's on a DVD from being either so bad, or so boring. It wasn't that 'DTBHJ' was bad...more that is was just so boring. So 'meh.' which is a shame.

    I think the only other film I couldn't get through was - and I know I'm probably in the minority on this one - was 'Shabd.' I like Aish a lot (and I think she deserves far more credit as an actress than she's given), and of course I dig Sanju. The cinemotography and the special visual effects were stunning. But I cannot stomach Zayed. Even in 'Main Hoon Na,' if it wasn't such a great film, with excellent songs, a decent plot and had SRK, the excellent and under-rated Sunil, and the amazing Naseeruddin Shah, I would've walked out of the cinema - Zayed just cannot act. 'Shabd' demonstrated that, in spades for me. He annoyed the crap out of me, if I'm honest about it.

    Sorry...I'm rabbitting on and on here, I realise. I'll shut up now and say that I completely agree with you on 'DTBJH,' but really dug 'Rajneeti.' And Arjun. I like Arjun. A lot.

  19. I Agree With You for Tees maar Khan , Probably the Worst Movie In Indian Cinema EVER !! No Acting , No Direction , No Screenplay ! mmm Maybe Songs were good .