Dabangg 2

Directed: Arbaaz Khan

Starring: Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Vinod Khanna, Prakash Raj

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Remember my next to ecstatic review of Dabangg? Well, this one is going to be almost fully non-ecstatic. Because Dabangg 2 is one of those movies that are witnesses to the fact really good films should not be milked just for the sake of it. Most sequels do not turn out as half as good as their predecesors and Dabangg 2 is just another one of those. Not memorable from any angle and relying way too much on Salman Khan´s X-factor as well as overdoing references to the awesome original movie, Dabangg 2 is not a „horrible“ film, but it was probably, together with Jab Tak Hai Jaan, the biggest disappointment of the last year, failing to meet expectations by far.

We meet Chulbul Pandey a lot more joyful, mellowed and chilled than before. He has settled with his wife Rajjo and accepted a transfer into a bigger city. His family life is happy and content. Not only Rajjo is pregnant and glowing (and my, does she looks wonderful!), but his step-father and brother become a full-time caring relatives. The Pandey family harmony takes up the most part of the film and I felt like instead of a masalla film I was watching a TV soap educating me on how a proper family behaves. It does have sweet moments (Rajjo reminding Chulbul he forgot his trademark sunglasses) and funny moments (Pandey sr. getting fake calls from an unknown „lady“), but there is really nothing much to talk about. This storyline was still the best one – which doesn´t really shed favourable light on the rest of the movie.

If you are making a sequel to a movie that had a truly menacing and memorable villain like Sonu Sood as a corrupt politician, you absolutely need a villain even more menacing, memorable and ideally even more corrupt. And saying he is like that, not showing it, is just not enough. That Prakash Raj is among the finest when it comes to being a villain has been proved in the past more than once. However Dabangg 2 doesn´t take an advantage of having him in the slightest. There is not a single scene in which you would actually feel concerned for Chulbul, because his enemies seem helpless in spite of some threatening. The way the villain is weaved into the story (or rather lack of it) is too predictable and almost copied from the previous film too. Chulbul insults the corrupt guy. Corrupt guy threatens Chulbul. Chulbul is not afraid. Corrupt one kills/harms a member of Chulbul´s beloved parivaar. Chulbul wrestles shirtless with another shirtless villain. Chulbul kills the villain. The end.

Referencing to the previous movie is fine, as long as it´s not overdone, but Dabangg 2 does just that. „Chalte hain“ becomes „Aate hain“, the „you´ll be confused from which hole to fart“ is back as well as a guy with mummy calling him in the least appropriate moment. There is an item song, just lot less fun than Munni (and Kareena Kapoor does have adorable expressions but cannot dance for peanuts), we get Munni, just lot less fun than last time, we get a song about Sonakshi´s eyes, just lot less good than last time...... There is nothing fresh about the film. It is probably the most boring masalla movie I´ve seen in the past few years. And the thought there is supposed to be Dabangg 3 does not fill me with any excitement whatsoever.

To say something positive: performances are good, direction too isn´t bad, and there is nothing that would offend anyone´s sentiments I feel.

No fun, no twist, no originality. Dabangg 2 is not worth being an heir to the original.

Talaash

Directed by: Reema Kagti

Starring: Aamir Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Rani Mukherjee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There couldn´t be a better title for this film, because it is indeed primarily a movie about searching, where every character is on a lookout for something else. Ad to it that the full titles is „Talaash – the answer lies within“ - and wah! Rarely you stumble upon a title summing up the movie as perfectly, yet not revealing anything, just capturing attention. And the movie itself proves to be just as captivating. Before I go on, talking about the story and such, better be warned: if you have not seen the movie yet, and actually want to enjoy it, stop right here. I know what I´m talking about. This is one movie, that spoilers not only „spoil“, but extremely take away from an impact that the movie has a potential to make otherwise. I was, unfortunately, not lucky, and knew beforehand what the twist was. Talaash still made for an engaging and even thrilling watch. But I can just imagine how much more I would be taken by it if it wasn´t for some people who enjoy spoiling fun for everybody else.

"Who posted the spoilers on Twitter?"

 

In the dead of a night a fast speeding car, just like that and seemingly entirely without reason it takes a sudden turn and crashes into the sea. The driver, a famous actor, drowns. And so police inspector Surjan starts his search – for the reason of the tragedy, because nothing indicates a sabotage neither a suicide. The case doesn´t seem to have a satisfactory explanation, and the more police knows, the more mysterious and tangled it all looks. Surjan spends his days and nights at work. Not only he is driven by desire to solve the thing, but he is also trying to escape his own personal pain. He has lost his 8 years old son in a tragic accident some time ago. His shattered wife is only slowly trying to recollect her life. Her search is for the lost understanding with her husband. 

 

Surjan´s investigation brings him into the red light district of Mumbai, where he meets Rosy, a prostitute, who gives him some truly invaluable information. And more. Her presence seems to calm his nerves. He cannot talk to his wife, but he feels free to do so with Rosy. With her, he can finally rest for a few moments, without nightmares. Even Rosy is in search of something. She is searching – for justice, a revenge for her own death...

Spooky! That Talaash is a ghost film becomes apparent quite some time before Surjan himself realizes the truth behind Rosy, her tales of a lost prostitute three years ago and also a „special place“ she leads him to. Ad to it communicating with dead son through a medium, and you could almost classify the film as a horror. But the supernatural is not really the core of the film, neither is police investigation, nor are small episodes of side characters, who are also searching – pimps for wealth, prostitutes for freedom, and a crippled crook for a decent life of the woman he loves. Ultimately Talaash is a human tragedy and coping with the greatest loss a parent can bear. Whatever Surjan goes through, every person he meets, all that is slowly leading him to forgive himself and breathe freely again in the end. His search is for inner peace.

"And for that T-shirt. I love that T-shirt."

Talaash is not the best film of the last year, but it could be ranked among top 10. The concept is not entirely new overall, but it is new for Bollywood. It is different and well made. Performances are very good from everybody. There is both subtlety and realism to all of them. The film has three major stars, but none of their auras and personalities overshadows the film, making it a background to their own shine. If anyone around you is in search for a don´t-leave-your-brain-at-home film, Talaash might be what they are looking for.

Son of Sardaar

Directed by: Ahswni Dhir

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Sanjay Dutt, Sonakshi Sinha, Juhi Chawla

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Son of Sardaar is fun. Light-hearted, uncomplicated, straight-forward and most importantly family friendly. It is possibly the only big masala film of 2012 that has no sexual innuendos, no double meaning hints, no gay jokes or raunchy dance numbers. It is silly, oh yes, the amount of silly is quite considerable, and it definitely makes clear yet again that Bollywood action is more and more going South (where gravity means nothing and physics wanders around unemployed) and hence not believable in any way – which in this case ads to the „family friendly“ I have already mentioned, because the „violence“ shown is so over the top you just cannot take it seriously. The major weakness is the very beginning, that may turn many people off, as it is rather cringe worthy. Taking a jump of Big Ben and dancing among a horde of white women in desi clothing (my ears would hurt at how much voices would raise on social websites against such cultural appropriation – and they would be right) and fighting off white goons a minute later made even me considering if I should even bother. But once Salman Khan´s useless cameo is over, things do get better. A lot.

The story has roots in an age old enmity between two rich Punjabi families, who for generations have been slaughtering one another and taking revenges and so started an unending cycle of bloodshed. Until a wife of a recently murdered one decided she has had enough, took her children and fled from India. She saved herself and children, but complicated lives of the other family, of which various members took various oaths: to never eat ice-cream, to never have a cold drink, and to never marry – until the last offspring of the hated family was not killed by their hands. But how to fulfill such promises if the person in question is nowhere to be found? And so there are is no ice-cream or cold drinks for some, and no shaadi for others. For over twenty years.

Then one day out hero Jassi is distracted from his pathetic dancing with white girls in London by a letter summoning him to Punjab because of some inherited land, and Jassi flies down to India with an intention to sell it and then peacefully return. While on his way he meets feisty no-nonsense girl Sukhmit and falls for her immediately. What luck she travels to the same place as he does. And even greater luck awaits it seems: after he looses her on the train station, he runs into Billu, who invites him home, and it turns out Sukhmit is his cousin. But don´t be fooled. The luck is not about finding Sukhmit. It lies in Jassi being within the walls of Billu´s house. For he is the one they want to kill, and they soon find that out. But to harm a guest in any way is just not done. They have to wait for him to step out. And Jassi, completely shocked upon learning the truth by chance, does everything that might delay his leaving.

What surprised me was a simplicity of the plot and settings. Apart from the train traveling at the beginning and some wild chasing near the end everything happens in one place. The plot is also very straightforward, and the filmmakers managed to keep it interesting for most of the film. True enough, some of the scenes could have been shorter, because you do get the idea of what is going on, and after some point you grow a bit impatient and want things to move forward – had film lasted 2 hours only, it would have helped. The songs are put into the film well, but sadly none really captured my interest – and the Po Po song is definitely a product of some really ill mind.

All the involved actors prove they have a great comic timing and talent. Ajay pleasantly surprised me, because I expected him to be an unbeatable machine without a trace of fear, and while he definitely shows that when necessary he will give everyone a lesson, his Jassi was more of an average guy wanting nothing but everyone to get along. Sanjay Dutt too is very good, my only complaint is: why did he have to look so bad? The styling was just horrible – and made me question who would wait for over 20 years to marry him? Especially if the bride herself is the beauteous Juhi Chawla? 

Now, Juhi in this film you either like or hate. And it is really up to how you decide. Indeed, I felt like I was put before a choice. Because I could say she was a delight to watch, a sweetheart and a cutie, who deserved more screenspace and I would mean it. And at the same time I could say she was over the top and took it to the annoying level, and it would still be kinda true. But I was happy to see her in a mainstream film after so long, so I largely go with the first. Sonakshi is the weakest of the four leads, which is no insult to her, since all are seasoned actors who have proved themselves numerous times in the past, at the same time Sonakshi definitely sells you Sukhmit as a real character, and that goes to her credit. Although yeah, she looks like Ajay´s daughter throughout.

And so I ended up nearly loving Son of Sardaar and cannot understand all the hate it got.

Khiladi 786

Directed by: Ashish R Mohan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Asin, Mithun Chakraborthy, Raj Babbar

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I have learned that a good colourful „silly“ masalla is one of the best things that can happen if you feel blue or need to relax. With an intention to be entertained and setting into my graciously forgiving mood I started watching the latest Akshay Kumar release, that same actor whom I didn´t mind in Rowdy Rathore and thought him pure adorable in OMG Oh My God earlier in 2012. I understand „Khiladi“ is a trademark for him, but from what I have understood, the original „Khiladi“ series were thrillers (?), which this one is anything but, which, after all, was clear from the posters and promos. I had next to no expectations of the film and thought that I could pretty much predict the whole thing. I was wrong.

Akshay Kumar (because his filmy name is too long and impossible to spell correctly for me) is from a Punjab family, into which nobody wants to marry their daughters – because they are goondas, you see (in what way is never really shown), and so they have to marry women from other nations (because obviously those don´t care about your background). But Akshay would really like an Indian girl, unfortunatelly his proposals are being rejected one by one. 

Enter Mansukh, a son of a match-maker, recently thrown out from home for ruining his father´s reputation, and hired (more by mistake than anyhting else) to find a groom for Indu, sister of Mumbai Don TT (Mithun Chakraborty). Indu is a spoiled brat who already has a boyfriend, but he is in jail and every single time he is to be released something or the other happens which prolongs his stay behind bars. Indu is patient, but her time is running out, because Mansukh immeditelly has a groom for her in mind – Akshay, who just like ghosts and true pyaar cannot be seen when he moves quickly (not sure that is the best news you can give a bride … but...ehmm... well.....). However Mansukh doesn´t know Akshay is not a policeman, and neither are his relatives, as they claim to be. And to top it he has to lie to them about the girl´s family, and also makes Mithun and his household members of a Mumbai police squad.

After the first 40 or so minutes I was ready to love the movie. It felt funny. Silly, sure, but genuinely funny. Then something happened, fun disappeared, and it just slowly became boring. Akshay is being Akshay, that one who absolutely needs to stop doing films like this for several more years to come. Seriously. Rowdy Rathore, Joker and Khiladi may have had different plotlines and presented him as three different people, but he presented all that in the exact same way, so much you can hardly find any difference between them. His best performance of 2012 thus remains supporting role in OMG Oh My God, any by far it was also the best out of five films he gave us last year.

I always welcome any glimpse of „old“ stars like Mithun Chakraborthy and Raj Babbar, who are largely in the shadows these days, but rarely they get a role that would do them justice in any way. I think the last time I saw Mithun doing something that mattered was in Guru. Asin is as much a leading lady as Bharti Singh (who has short and completely useless subplot to handle). I keep hearing about how amazing she she in her Southern films, and can´t just stop wondering why she is satisfied with playing „bushes in the back“, because that is pretty much everything she has done in Bollywood so far. She doesn´t even have much of a screen presence (like for example another girl, who needs to do more substantial roles – Sonakshi Sinha), and you just couldn´t care about her less.

That characters are sketchy, music bad, jokes over the top and double standarts for men and women regarding age as obvious as ever (27 years old Asin is romancing 45 years old Akshay while being 62 years old Mithun´s sister).... all that I could live with quite well, if only it was a laugh-riot. It wasn´t. Khiladi 876 is actually so forgettable I cannot even recommend it.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Katrina Kaif, Anushka Sharma

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

In spite of the fact there were other movies that earned more, I don´t think it´s wrong to say Jab Tak Hai Jaan was the biggest release of the last year, at least as far as expectations are concerned. Well, not mine really, because I never considered Yash Chopra a great director, I did not like the promos and it is no secret I don´t exactly love Katrina Kaif. That, I guess, allowed me to be more benevolent to the film than I would have been had I expected something amazing. Because the film is far from being so. In fact, it is quite far from being good even. Jab Tak Hai Jaan is simple entertainer that does manage to be bearable for most part, but you have to deliberately forgive it much, maybe even too much. The faint-worthy reviews that flooded the media right before the premier were talking about the most epic of the epic films ever, which to be honest I believe were strongly influenced by the sad demise of the director shortly before and nobody dared to give a bad review. It was only after a while that reviews more accurate and less impressed began to appear. Indeed, there are two ways of seeing Jab Tak Hai Jaan. First – while watching the only thing you see is that this is the last film of am extremely popular director, popular not only as a filmmaker, but as an off-screen persona also. Second – you watch it as a film, detached from the facts of reality, and without sentiments. And that was how I watched it. And that is why I can say Jab Tak Hai Jaan is among those Yash Chopra films that are simply not good.

No ammount of sexy could save the script from bombing.

To be fair it is not the direction that is wrong, not at all. The main culprit is the script full of plot holes and characters that are not appealing. Nonsense piled upon nonsense, until I was just left wondering how much further it can go. The first ten minutes are already full of loopholes. Why didn´t Samar jump for Akira sooner? Why after getting her out of water he obviously took time to dress her into his own coat BEFORE starting resuscitating her? Who is as stupid as to leave their army jacket with everything in the pockets inside (including „Dear Diary“) with a completely unknown person? Well, that is Major Samar Anand for you. A man of extreme sexiness, being all quiet and communicating with intense stares. As Akira finds out from the diary, he used to be 25 (or 28, some contradictory information were given) once upon a time, all hyper and full of zest, slogging happily in London and doing various jobs that didn´t really earn him much. He meets a rich girl Meera, who is unsure of what she wants in life, NEVER feels cold and is also a bit of a racist (back in the day she was a blonde white child begging God not to get her married to any Indian because they are brown), and falls in love with her. 

Did I mention that it is possible to become a waiter at the most snobbish London restaurant without a proper knowledge of English, just by being able to order fish quickly for a certain person?

It takes a while before she decides to return his feelings, because she is engaged to a white guy, but after a heart-to-heart talk with a mother who has left her as a child to be with her lover and did not contact her for years, Meera decides Samar is worth it. They are as happy as one can imagine. They have cute time and sexy time and let´s-run-through-the-whole-London-to-see-him-off-to-work time, until Samar decides not to heed the basic rules of driving which results into him being run over by a car and Meera doing what every sensible girlfriend would: she immediately promises to God that if he lets Samar live, she will never see him again. Because that is how God works for Meera, you see? He lets her pass exams and she gives up chocolate (instead for example promising to use her education to better the lives of others).

"Give me some acting skills and take my firstborn!"

And so when Samar comes to his senses, she comes to announce she loves him and she is ditching him. Instead of realizing Meera is dumb, Samar is angry at „sir Jesus“ and to prove Meera wrong he decides to join Indian army and play with his life (although if he really wanted to prove his point he could have just commit suicide) as a leader of a bomb-disposal unit in Kashmir. That is where annoying Discovery channel reporter Akira steps in with her completely inappropriate wardrobe and puke-worthy presentation of today´s generation of girls, and falls in love with Samar within days after learning his sob-story.

IMO those ten years in Kashmir did him well. Drooling.

Akira wants Samar to go to London for a day, so her bosses can verify her film on him, and after some thinking Samar indeed comes. And is hit by a car, which I can only see as a not too subtle a message of the film that you should look to the right and to the left before you cross the road. When he wakes up in a hospital, it turns out he has lost his memory. Well, not entirely. He only doesn´t remember anything that happened after his first accident – including Meera ditching him the same way she gave up chocolates. The genius doctor decides that the best way to bring on Samar´s memory is to create a false reality for him, where everybody will lie to him and make up fake memories, a reality where Meera is his wife and he owns a big restaurant in London. Because yeah, that is how he is surely going to remember he spent ten years playing with death on the other side of the world. 

That one moment when I could relate to Akira.

As for Meera, she did not marry anyone, did not age a day, and spent those ten years moping around. She agrees to be a part of the plan, but gives up few days later, because being close to Samar gives her pain – because she still hasn´t understand God is not a vengeful monster who works on her command and that he actually has understanding for things like love. Fortunately Samar gets his memory back – in one of the least exciting bomb-disposal scenes ever, and returns to Kashmir. If you think he finally came to his senses and realized Meera is just a dumb bench, you are wrong, and so we get to see him being reunited with her, as she randomly changes her mind in the end.

"Why should I let you defuse a bomb? I don´t even know who you are!"

"I am a random brown guy with obvious knowledge of explosives. I cannot possibly be a terrorist who came by to make sure things go boom. How will you live with yourself if you won´t  let me solve this without questioning?"

"Let him in. He´s sexy. There is no way this could go wrong."

The saddest part is that the film at no point really gives you a vibe of being an epic love story. That is largely given by Shahrukh sharing no chemistry whatsoever with either of the actresses, and not even the infamous three kisses he shares with Katrina, and around which a lot has been written, save anything. They are not as awkward as some people were describing them, but at the same time they were just so randomly thrown in and thanda and not needed one asks what lead Yash Chopra and SRK both to break an old rule they both had. At the same time I don´t understand the big hoopla about it.

"Yeah, it´s not like I haven´t showed my naked butt in a film before."

What actually irritated me was when, after watching the movie, I realized that Shahrukh had pretty much nothing to do. Everything shown he has done before – and better. There was not a single scene he could actually sink his teeth into, and indeed he served more like an impuls the two women reacted to more than and actual hero. Both Katrina and Anushka had, ironically, better roles (in terms of making things happen, not in terms of being good characters). Samar Anand thus becomes one of the least inspiring and memorable SRK´s characters. I also found it ridiculous that they tried to pass him off as being 25. Camera filters did erase his wrinkles (to the point he seemed a cartoon at times), but it couldn´t erase the maturity of his face, eyes, or voice. He is good, of course. But at the same time extremely lukewarm compared to his other roles. And I realized, that I don´t want Shahrukh to do films like these. I don´t want him to be a loverboy. Not again, not anymore. Let him do a mature romance. That is something I would love to see.

Katrina Kaif is no longer irritating on screen for me. And she can dance well. However her lack of acting skills is once again for everyone to see. Meera is not a well-written character (she has to be the worst YRF heroine ever), but there was potential in the role for a good performer to turn her into something. Katrina however, makes her only worse. What is it that Samar saw in Meera apart from her being hot? In the best moments she still seems detached from what is going on around her. Her expressions hardly ever changes, apart from her mouth being opened of shut, her dialogue delivery remains cringe-worthy. Meera´s dealing with God were nothing short of disgusting for me. I probably wouldn´t dare to say anything if Meera was a Hindu or Muslim, or belonged to any religion I am not a part of and hence cannot really comment on, but she was a Christian, and there I can firmly say, that she had the most deformed vision of God possible. A God who trades life successes for minor discomforts, a God to whom it is more important that you fulfill a promise that came out of your own mind and not on any demand of His than that His children prosper in love together, that is not a Christian God, that is some strange creature with ways more similar to devil than „sir Jesus“. 

Neutral.

Annoyed.

Uncertain.

Emotional

Relieved.

Devastated/suffering.

Happy.

Anushka Sharma, on the other hand, does have it in her to give us a good performance – Akira however is yet another in her growing collection of bubbly characters she has done in films like Patiala House, Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl and Band Baaja Baraat. Hyper, loud, cheerful, ambitious. And terribly annoying. In her case I am not sure if the blame is hers or if it should be put completely on Aditya Chopra and his poor writing skills. Anupam Kher, Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Singh have fleeting cameos, but are a welcomed relief. In fact the moment when Neetu recognizes „her daughter“ who had come to visit her, brought a tear in my eye.

"We should teach them what is romance, no?"

One thing I have to admit: The film doesn´t feel old-fashioned, in spite of some old-fashioned elements, Yash Chopra indeed was young in spirit. That however doesn´t make Jab Tak Hai Jaan any better. It is an average fair, below par next to everything Yash Chopra ever did (and I´ve seen), that even in the music department. Out of the whole soundtrack only Chhala and Jiya Re are worthy of more attention. The title song doesn´t stick in mind, and Saans and Heer are nice, but too whiny to listen to after a while. Ishq Shava I almost forgot about already. The opening titles melody I loved. In fact Shahrukh Khan riding his bike to the music was the best part of the whole movie for me.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan is a movie that doesn´t do justice to absolutely anyone involved, least of all an iconic director, whose films I may not love, but I still respect for his contribution to the cinema.

"This was supposed to top Lamhe, dammit."

The big 2012 overview

Unlike a rather average (and bordering on the verge of pure bad) 2011 which marked the Hindi film industry, 2012 came with many great promises. Some were fulfilled, and those which were not were made up for with several pleasant surprises. The very beginning of January threatened us all with a disaster though, as the first „big“ release in the form of Players completely crashed, leaving us with raised eyebrows and proving once again Abhishek Bachchan is absolutely not fit to act too smart on screen. Soon enough though there was a reason to rejoice as eagerly awaited remake of Agneepath came out and left me (and many others) with a feeling we may have gained a new classic! Soon after, sadly, we returned to the below mediocre material.

Gali Gali Chor Hai

Directed by: Rumy Jafry

Starring: Akshaye Khanna, Shriya Saran, Mugdha Godse

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The question is: Why are such fine and attractive actors like Akshaye Khanna and Shriya Saran left with films like these, when they should be among the highest crop out there? Gali Gali Chor Hai is trying to show an ordinary man´s plight against corruption, that plagues all society and stops before nothing, not even police and politicians (or rather especially not there). When middle-class Bharat, who works at the bank and plays Hanuman with local theater company denies to vacate one room for a politician´s election office, he earns his wrath and vengeance soon comes knocking on his door in a form of a police officer with news a fan had been stolen from Bharat´s house and he should now go and claim the object back. The policeman refuses to listen to Bharat explaining they never had a fan in the first place. And thus a seemingly unending chain of mental torture and people demanding bribes start for Bharat and his family. The highly unsatisfactory (and also a rather unclear) ending is not the only weakness of the film. One really feels for Akshaye as Bharat, but unfortunately just like him the viewer is soon too exhausted and frustrated from the endlessly repeating situations. The item number (which is obligatory in every film these days) is quite boring, not to mention the song a shameless copy of the famous Beedi number from Omkara. Shriya Saran has literally nothing to do, and her screentime is so limited one can´t even really sit back and enjoy just looking at her, which, mind you, would make it all more bearable.

After a bore fest which was the Khanna/Saran starer ripped apart above, one was left hoping for something refreshing, enjoyable, even if not as conscious stirring (not that Gali Gali Chor Hai is, only tries to be), and the hopes were met when a pleasant Dharma production made its way into the theaters. 

Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

Directed by: Shakun Batra

Starring: Imran Khan, Kareena Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

At first it seemed like a less pompous version of Jab We Met, but then it took its own form and pace and swept me away into bursts of laughter. I am not sure if Imran is ever going to come out of his chocolate boy image box, but it completely works for him in EMAET. True, his expressions are limited, but the bulging eyes and stone face were just too hilarious and fitted the situations. He was never lost beside the spunky, dorky and adorable Kareena, which is no small tasks considering the huge X-factor the girl possesses. They make a refreshing pair!

The first half is definitely better and funnier than the second, but fortunately the ending saves it all, as it doesn´t fall into the usual clichéd concept seen a million times. In fact it leaves a great opportunity for a possible sequel - that I can imagine being just as good! At the same time the more I keep thinking about it the more I come to the conclusion I probably wouldn´t enjoy it the second time half as much. It was a great one time watch. Another romantic film on the block however, was hardly watchable even the first time.

Ek Deewana Tha

Directed by: Gautham Menon

Starring: Prateik Babbar, Amy Jackson

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Prateik Babbar got some really awesome acting genes from his parents, the legendary Smita Patil and once upon a time popular Raj Babbar, but apparently they did not develop. Prateik is highly average as an actor and below average as a dancer, not to mention he has something sleazy about him. Similarly like Tusshar Kapoor he is not suited for big screen (or any screen really). And since his partner was a white-girl-painted-brown Amy Jackson, who is unsuccessfully pretending to be a native Indian, there is no saving grace to the film which was supposed to be cute and mushy but only can be classified as boring and silly. Prateik falls in love with Amy at the first sight and faces the obstacles on his way - apart from the usual disapproving bhai and father it´s also the girl´s religion, which does not even allow her watching movies, while he wants to be a filmmaker. Smells like trouble nah? Duh. It didn´t even seem they love each other, instead their relationship reminded me of „affairs“ one has when they are 13. The constant changes of heart of the girl were frustrating. Two bad actors in a bad film with some really bad dialogues.

After the horrible Ek Deewana Tha followed as equally disappointing attempt at a comedy in the form of Jodi Breakers starring Madhavan and Bipasha Basu, but the film was not even remotely funny and came off as quite vulgar and offending I would say. Fortunately with that the line of bad films was ended for a while and I loved or at least enjoyed all the other movies that followed, starting with Tere Naal Love Ho Gaya, that landed upon our screens during that auspicious time when we were all sighting with delight over Riteish and Genelia and their big Bollywood real life wedding, which made it all even more cute. And waiting next in the line was the oh-so-crush-able Ali Zafar and his tour around the world.

London Paris New York

Directed by: Anu Menon

Starring: Ali Zafar, Aditi Rao Hydari

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I was rather apprehensive but blame it to whatever you want - from me being ill and tired to pure determination to give every film a chance - I ended up liking this. Actually maybe "like" is not the best word. I definitely found it interesting and it occupied my mind for a while. Both Ali and Aditi are very natural performers, and the film gives them both a lot of scope to enact different shades and situations. The London bit was typically rom-com, but sweet and neat, while the Paris bit was disturbingly dark. Finally the New York part seemed the most real, although by that time I hated the character of Lalitha and wished he would just ditch her. Worth a watch. 

Paan Singh Tomar

Directed by: Tigmanshu Dhulia

Starring: Irrfan Khan, Mahie Gill

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Powerful story told in a very simple, modest way. Paan Singh Tomar, an army officer and a sportsman, who won gold medals for India on international platform, and died in a police encounter in 1981, was once a real person, and the film makes a point to remind us of how ungrateful and forgetful we get of people like him – who once earn our applause but we couldn´t care less about them, and we barely give them a thought once the race is over. It is indeed a sarcastic and bitter twist of fate, that Paan Singh is remembered more for his career as a dacoit (or „rebel“ as we are reminded) than for his achievements in the field of sport. When it comes to earthy, common man roles, hardly any actor can do what Irrfan Khan does. He simply begins to live in the character, and in a few moments you are staring at him with complete conviction that this is the real Paan Singh, this is how he acted and lived. Paan Singh Tomar make for a thoughtful tribute and a fine movie.

Chaar Din Ki Chandni

Directed by: Samir Karnik

Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Kulraj Randhawa

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Surprisingly far from awful, Chaar Din Ki Chandni I couldn´t care less for when it released proved to be quite an enjoyable venture, although by far not flawless. The director of Yamla Pagla Deewana, which was dominated by the Deol trio, opted for the star kid Tusshar Kapoor this time, but since he is from „the other“ filmi Kapoor clan not much should be expected from him (Jeetendra must be one of the most untalented actors ever and he passed this on to his son). Indeed the hero is the greatest weakness of this romantic comedy, and heroine the greatest strength. Kulraj as Chandni is full of life and has great comic timing, alas, she shared more chemistry with her „fiancé´s“ uncles than with him. The first half of the movie is better than the second. Tusshar (can´t recall his name in the film right now) brings home his fianceé Chandni, but since his father, a proud nobleman, would never allow him a simple Punjabi girl, he introduces her as merely his friend, and Chandni herself sets out to win over the hearts of the family. And she is successful, perhaps even more than she originally hoped to be. Soon enough Tusshar´s uncles are all head over heels with lively and spunky girl.

Popular character actors like Farida Jalal, Anupam Kher and especially Om Puri complete the cast and can never go wrong, though Anupam at times slips into way too much overacting, which never suited him. In the end I was well entertained and kept singing the remix of an old hit song „Chandni O Meri Chandni“ for quite a while!

What came after was a shock. Indeed, Kahaani, starring Vidya Balan, whom the nation pretty much re-discovered last year, was so good hardly anyone would have expected it. So good that this film without a hero swept the box office and brought loads of critical acclaim to the director and his leading lady, most deservedly so. Much more expectations were, however, laid upon another big release – Agent Vinod, in which Saif Ali Khan shared screen with his girlfriend, and while far from perfect (and far from making big money), this venture too I see as a positive point for the filmi 2012. But after all the mysteries and agents and thrill one needed something else. Something light and possibly uncomplicated. We got served what we wanted.

Bittoo Boss

Directed by: Supavitra Babul

Starring: Pulkit Samrat, Amita Pathak

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Finally a film, that even though falling somehow into my not exactly favourite „romcom“ category, is quite different in terms of plot and twists. The new, fresh actors with fair share of talent play out a story of a popular shaadi-video cameraman Bittoo, who likes his job, but at the same time dreams big about doing real films one day. He, of course, falls in love in the process and loses the girl (only to get her in the end since it is a true pyaar you see), and to prove to her he can reach the high places without the necessity to crawl in front of the mightier people, he leaves the weddings to shoot..... illegal „blue sexy films“.

The movie definitely seemed daring to me with showing how popular are porn films and how readily will people pay for them, but thankfully Bittoo realizes soon enough that love making is a thing private – and beautiful. Thank God that for once sex was not labeled disgusting/immoral etc. and the filmmakers embraced the idea of it being all natural.

You can watch the movie without fear it would preach though. It has enough of entertainment and enjoyment to keep you occupied at all times. It is not a family film by far though, you might want to avoid watching it with children – or parents. And similarly refreshing picture with an unusual theme followed.

Vicky Donor

Directed by: Shoojit Sircar

Starring: Ayushmann Khurrana, Yami Gautam, Annu Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What has not been written about this film I could possibly write? Vicky Donor took theaters by an unexpected storm and came out a winner. Daring, just like Bittoo Boss, but in a slightly different way, since it had also an underlining and yet subtle-enough-not-to-annoy message supporting sperm donation, which, I understand, is still one of the awkward topics in India. While I could possibly question the procedure shown in the film (Is it really possibly to donate sperm so many times? Because in our country it´s five times and that´s it.), the point is made: in a world full of childless marriages sperm donation is sometimes everything needed for happiness of others. Vicky, however, meets with misunderstanding from those around him, which makes him hide everything from his own wife, up until the moment she finds out that ironically she is impossible to bear a child of her own. I loved the fact Vicky fully supports her even after knowing that, and the film thus acknowledges that even though not a mother, she is no less of a woman. The very ending had me near tears (but then again it is not difficult to make me cry, especially when children are concerned). I recommend to stop watching the film as soon as the screen goes black though, as the end credits are accompanied by an item song from Mr. Producer John Abraham, whose naked chest and disco dancing does not go well with tender feelings raised by the film itself.

Unlike last year it is going to be interesting to see who gets the award for the best newcomer male 2012, with three notable discoveries in the first half of the year already – Arjun Kapoor, Ayushmann Khurrana and Pulkit Samrat (the latter two being more deserving in my eyes than the first one mentioned). Anyway – I refused to watch the next release which was a Vikram Bhatt production called „Hate Story“, because things I´ve heard were more on the negative side and I simply did not feel interested one bit. So I don´t know about Hate Story, but a film that followed cut the successful line for a while.

Tezz

Directed by: Priyadarshan

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Anil Kapoor, Zayed Khan, Boman Irani

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

If you are doing a film on „good“ people committing a crime, you should be able to make viewers root for them, which is not the case here. You simply do not care for anyone – not for the illegal immigrants, not for an Indian detective in English services and certainly not for Kangana, who is quickly becoming in my eyes the worst actress of Bollywood. I don´t know what happened to her, but in everything post Fashion she has been pure awful and such is also her blink-and-miss cameo in this.

It was incredibly bizarre seeing all the English men talking in Hindi – and not only to Indians but also amongst themselves. Apparently most of the film was shot in English and later dubbed, the dubbing was just terrible and made me think why they just couldn´t have left it alone, after all English is commonly used and known in India, and it would make the whole movies a lot more believable as well. The highlight is Boman Irani´s appearance, his anxiety is so well acted he is easily the best performer in the film. Ajay is unusually ineffective and Anil chasing him and pulling off some stunts annoys for the most part.

The plot reminded me more of some cop show airing late at night when only insomniacs still have their TV on, and I guess Tezz might cure them at least for one night. The film is supposed to be a thriller, but it lacks the thrills.

In between Karishma Kapoor tried to charm her audience with Dangerous Ishq, but bad script and bad everything made me wish I could just delete it from my mind and remember her as Zubeidaa and Fiza. Another film that did not really click with my was Ishaqzaade. It was still better than what followed though.

Department

Directed by: Ram Gopal Varma

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Amitabh Bachchan, Rana Daggubati

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The camera work in this was, I guess, supposed to be cool and artsy, but as a result it looks amateurish and gave me a headache. And the rest of the whole thing was rather puke-worthy. Extremely graphic and lacking the thrills, a quite illogical story of a special „department“ of men too brutal for police force (but essentially good guys, you see) who have no qualms of taking the law into their hands. Their strategy is simple: let´s kill everything we see. More than an action film with a plot it reminded me of those senseless PC games where you had greeted everything that moved with a machine gun fire. Let´s not forget that the two main protagonists are named Mahadev and Shiv, which both stand for „God Shankar“ as we are very unsubtly told, I can only imagine it was supposed to make them both look like two heaven-sent fighters who shall wipe out the crime rather than really violent guy with no sense of order but their own. Throw in the most vulgar item number I´ve seen so far full of close ups of the girl´s lower intimate parts (and as insignificant a complaint it may seem now, she couldn´t dance) and you get to a point where you really don´t know if you dare to go on. I did and was punished by boring and confusing twist (where everyone betrays everybody) full of shooting scenes (where the good guy has an endless ammo), as well as many close ups of female asses (and more vulgar stuff). A film not worth watching, and not worthy of Sanjay Dutt or Amitabh Bachchan.

After the Ram Gopal Varma rubbish even a flawed movie that came soon after seemed a blessing. If nothing else, it was kinda fun.

Rowdy Rathore

Directed by: Prabhudeva

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

After Houseful 2 Akshay was really on the ride and since everyone is trying to have their own Dabangg, Rowdy Rathore was made to show us Akki too can become a fearless cop who shall bring down the village lords abusing their power. There is not much to be written about Rowdy Rathore except it was entertaining and, as mentioned already, flawed, with music which is less than memorable and without much of a lasting impression. Watch and forget really. Sonakshi looks gorgeous, but again she is merely an accessory (I am so hoping to see her in some role with integrity soon, but so far, sigh, I´m left with hoping only). Dabangg stay untouched so far in all the departments. Frankly I hope we don´t get to see a similar film in a while. But sadly there are more actors who have not tried their luck with it yet so I guess even in this case my hoping is in vain...

Out of action and blood and wasted performers we came to things nicer, fluffier and though of varying quality, mostly quite enjoyable. A good example would be a film about... a car! (followed by something less cute, but quite impressive and different).

Ferrari Ki Sawaari

Directed by: Rajesh Mapuskar

Starring: Sharman Joshi, Boman Irani

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Sweet story of a man with very gentle and honest nature, who above everything else loves his son and would love to make all his wishes come true – even if he cannot afford them financially. And thus to send little Kayo to a cricket camp in London (WTF, the kid could live without it) he borrows Sachin Tendulkar´s red Ferrari. Indeed, only borrows, for a wedding of an influential politician´s son. But as always, his trouble does not end even after he gets the money. He kinda forgets them in the car he returns.... Talked more because of Vidya Balan´s (not too impressive) item number, the movie has a big heart and not much brain. Sharman and Boman both give convincing performances as mild but obstinate son and bitter old father. You genuinely feel for their plight, as insignificant as it may finally seem from a human perspective. Even though the situations were filmi, the relationships were very real. I am not lying when I say I had tears in my eyes for good twenty minutes!

Gangs of Wasseypur

Directed by: Anurag Kashyap

Starring: Manoj Bajpai, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Piyush Mishra

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This film was actually was long they divided it into two parts that released about a month apart from each other, but originally it was one movie and I treated it like that. Moving from one era to the next and one character to the next was a bit difficult at the beginning, because one was given just a raw deal of information about everything and all at once. As the story progresses it takes an interesting form – a tale of a lifetime really, going from birth to death. And all the pain and laughs, success and love, and tragedy and hatred in between. It was depressing to watch so many people living in utter darkness where mercy does not exist and neither does forgiveness. Wasseypur is a small world where only revenge and power mean anything. As if all the terrible things in the world were meeting right there for the audience to see. At times the film was very graphic, it certainly doesn´t make a nice family watch. The acting by all was very natural. It felt real. It all felt very real. Good, but rather disturbing film.

As the roll of the good ones neared the end for a time, there were still hilarious Bol Bachchan, that restored my faith in Junior B for a while at least, and less perfect but still fine Cocktail (its finest piece being Deepika Padukone, who has showed once and for all there is more to her than just those long legs). And then came a Shahid Kapoor movie. Shahid Kapoor movies in the past few years did not do exactly well. Sadly the handsome and not without a talent actor completely lacks any script sense, otherwise he would have never said yes to a pointless Teri Meri Kahaani. And then the industry showed us that it can get REALLY bad.

Kya Super Kool Hain Hum

Directed by: Sachin Yardi

Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Riteish Deshmukh

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Stuffed from beginning to end with double meaning jokes and references, this film is as average an entertainer as you can get. There is lots of vulgar and lots of OTT involved. Two unsuccessful friends – Tusshar trying to get a film career (basically playing himself) and Riteish trying to make it big as a DJ – share a flat and a super fertile pug. And their story is dull though filled with supossedly humourous situations. I like Riteish and I like Anupam Kher and I like Chunky Pandey (occasionally and definitely without that wig), but this movie better be forgotten soon.

Ek Tha Tiger

Directed by: Kabir Khan

Starring: Salman Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ranvir Shorey

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What is there to review really? Not the plot for sure. While Agent Vinod was perhaps too elaborate Ek Tha Tiger is hugely straightforward and predictable, though in a way works with same elements, which include a pyaar between an Indian spy falling in love with Pakistani spy (why is the Pakistani always a woman?). Salman does well, though at first his character seemed to me like some upgraded Lovely Singh from Bodyguard. Katrina has one expression for all emotions and her "emotional" dialogue delivery sucks. Both of them are in their comfort zone, there was nothing new or challenging for either of them EXCEPT Katrina got to kick some ass and I must say she looked good doing that. Music is beautiful (though a bit of a background score is stolen from Forrest Gump), action is fine (though there are way too large chunks of it and so after a while I just let the film run and went to do other things and only returned once the noise went down). Average entertainer that I can imagine is loved by Salman fans.

Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi

Directed by: Bela Bhansali

Starring: Boman Irani, Farah Khan

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I would love to use words like sweet and endearing but even though there are sparks of that the adjective needed her is BORING. I was so looking forward to this one, and the trailers as well as posters gave me an idea this is going to be a fun ride making the best out of Boman and Farah´s famous sense of humour, but ouch! yes, the story was nice, but they shouldn´t have make it look like a crazy comedy. I was waiting for the laughs and they never came. Farah is no actress, but she is completely at ease in front of a camera, so she can sell to you most of her scenes with conviction, Boman I love but.... but... but.... but it was all too boring. The film is less than 2 hours long and I had trouble finishing it.

Joker

Directed by: Shirish Kunder

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Sonakshi Sinha

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Not as terrible as the reviewers made it sound, but still not good enough not to be a bad film. The premise itself was fine. I actually liked the idea of a village full of mad people that is not in the maps, and I though the first 40 minutes were quite adorable showing Akshay and these people bonding. However after all the UFOs and crop circles turned up it went seriously downhill. It wasn´t funny. It was just mad. Akshay and Sonakshi are both wasted, especially Sonakshi, in whom you can just see all that wonderful potential. Unfortunately she has so far only signed projects that do not give her any scope to do anything important and different. I am not giving up on her just yet, but hope after Dabangg 2 she stays away from masalla flicks with big stars for a while. Also – the title in this case was just wrongly chosen. In fact the whole idea of a „joker“ was extremely forced into the story to give it at least a slight sense of intelligence, but well.... did not happen. The item number by Chitrangada is forgettable and badly shot.

The first „big“ release in September was an Emraan Hashmi starrer.

Raaz 3

Directed by: Vikram Bhatt

Starring: Emraan Hashmi, Bipasha Basu, Esha Gupta

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I am basically a coward when it comes to horror films. I have not seen many in my life, but whenever I happened to do so, I was scared to go to the bathroom in the night for another month or so. After Raaz 3 I went to get my ice cream from the fridge without bothering to turn the lights on. It is difficult to get scared when the victim doesn´t look to be herself, screaming be damned, even if a head is chewn off from the guy sitting beside you (and apparently that is a real turn on for some – I would have myself transported into the nearest mental asylum and demand myself to be locked up). Emraan is more or less a prop and keeps his OK level of acting, he doesn´t share chemistry with either of the two women in the story. Newcomer Esha Gupta is a pretty thing that might become good in time, Bipasha has never been a favourite of mine, but she is definitely the best thing about the whole movie (even though she went to OTT few times). It is real pity everything around her was so mediocre, instead of supporting her performance. Too much smooching and revealing without purpose, but I´ve heard that is common in Emraan´s films.... And I swear people in horror films do not have the most basic self preservation instincts.

The Kapoor cousins took over then, or rather one of them. Kareena´s Heroine, first marked by controversy caused by Aishwarya Rai´s pregnancy, and heralded as a new „shocking“ film by self-indulgent Bhandarkar, ended up being quite average and lackluster movie. On the other hand Ranbir Kapoor´s Barfi made a mark, with both critics and janta loving it. Rest of the month though belonged to Paresh Rawal, who starred in two comedies. First one fell flat at the box office, second became the biggest surprise hit of the year.

Kamaal Dhamaal Malamaal

Directed by: Priyadarshan

Starring: Shreyas Talpade, Nana Patekar, Om Puri, Paresh Rawal

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

A pleasant comedy that gets a bit mysterious and darker as it progresses. No great work of art, but a fine timepass if you want to just sit back, don´t bother about anything and watch a movie. The films can boast with some impressive names like Paresh Rawal, Om Puri and Nana Patekar, but the main character is played by Shreyas Talpade, who is actually very good in the role and entertains throughout. Songs suck and there are flaws in the script, but there is nothing major that would spoil the experience if you are awaiting something groundbreaking.

Oh My God

Directed by: Umesh Shukla

Starring: Paresh Rawal, Akshay Kumar, Mithun Chakraborty, Om Puri

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Excellent movie that can boast with wonderful performances, good script and meaningful message, and even though there is plenty of what might be called preaching (for the lack of better word), it still manages to be very entertaining. It is not mindless comedy (aka God Tussi Great Ho) and it is not a religious propaganda of any kind. Paresh Rawal gives yet another flawless performance as a sceptical and very "human", ordinary person, who instigates a court case against God after suffering big losses in his life, and is demanding a refund. Aided and opposed by more wonderful actors (from Om Puri to so-painfully-underrated Mithun Chakraborthy), he ends up making a point he himself did not pursue in the first place. At first, as a believer, I was genuinely scared when Akshay Kumar appeared, but his act and the presentation, in the context of the film, was very sensitively done. Even what might have seem a rather ridiculing act at first (his revelation at the hospital), was not really insulting in any way. It showed what I believe is true - that God has the greatest sense of humour - and from the audience´s point of view, it kept the film in the enjoyable mode and did not let it sink into the depths of preachy religious fervour. And I have to mention that Sonakshi Sinha can dance and her expressions are wonderful! For me, OMG is the best film of the year. It made me think, it entertained me, it kept me interested throughout, it had great performances and most importantly it stayed with me for quite some time even after it ended.

Women power met with both success and rejection in the form of Sridevi´s comeback film English Vinglish and Rani Mukherjee´s Aiyyaa. While the first one belong to the best of what we´ve been served, the latter belongs to an opposite category. And that was it for female centric films for a while. Karan Johar tried to win the new audience over with his average and unimpressive attempt at cooler than cool college fantasy Student of the Year, and more half-baked product followed.

Rush

Directed by: Shamin Desai

Starring: Emraan Hashmi, Neha Dhupia, Aditya Pancholi, Sagarika Ghatge

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I mostly stayed away from Emraan this year. Never liked him. But in my defense – me avoiding him was not really intentional. The films that released and boasted with his name did not catch my interest one bit. I don´t really know why I watched Rush either, but it for sure was not a time too well spent. A brilliant, yet oh so underrated and misunderstood in his efforts reporter is fired from the news channel, only to be offered a much better job with another channel. One that is run by Aditya Pancholi, who believes there is no right or wrong, there is only profit (such an original character, wow, but to be fair he is still the best performer in the film). And a channel that I personally found pretty disgusting, because hearing about murders, rapes and other stuff, stripping the dead (though fictional) of their dignity by showing the most graphic footage, is definitely not what I would watch, and that too 24/7 (and surprise surprise the hero holds a big speech at the end that society is to blame for media being insensitive. I wonder why he didn´t see this while working on the most horrendous crime channel.) Anyway, the previous underrated reporter shoots to the top of success immediately. But oh my! Not everything is as it seems! And Emraan uncovers lots of dirt and has to run for his life etc etc you get the picture. Emraan is his ineffective self. The dude just has a non-existent voice modulation and all he says falls flat. Actresses were both annoying and superficial me has to say I did not find them pretty. Hero is just dragged through the film being passive while others are doing stuff. The climax feel very anti-climatic. Deeply average. If you´re thinking about watching it, think again. Don´t rush.

Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana
Directed by: Sameer Sharma
Starring: Kunal Kapoor, Huma Qureshi, Rajesh Sharma

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Reviews were kinds to this one, but I found it difficult to get into. For the sake of my crush Kunal Kapoor I was hoping to enjoy it, but kya karoon? Honesty first. It did pick up eventually, but you just cannot waste a whole hour of a two hour film like this. A small story about a small crook, who because of a debt has to retreat from London back to India in hope of getting money somehow, and ends up running a family eatery as well as fixing relationship with everyone he had hurt once, it is not without charm, at the same time there is nothing really memorable. The actors are all good, especially Huma Qureshi, who, sadly, it not „model-pretty“ nor has a hot figure and I have a bad feeling she is not going to make it into the A-stars list, even though she would probably deserve it.

As one of those with no cinema where Bollywood films would be screened anywhere within several thousand miles around, I now have to sit and wait patiently for the rest of the films to come out on DVD. I have hopes for Son of Sardaar to provide some entertainment. Jab Tak Hai Jaan is an obligatory watch – just for Shahrukh Khan, but Talaash sounds way too interesting to skip. Khiladi 786 is something I am not sure about yet, but really hope Dabangg 2 will not disappoint!