Dil Ka Rishta

Directed by: Naresh Malhotra

Starring: Arjun Rampal, Aishwarya Rai, Ishaa Koppikar, Paresh Rawal, Rakhee Gulzar

Released: 2003

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Was this a film or an Argentinian soap opera? Can´t decide for the life of me. It reminds one of a train wreck (or should I say a car wreck?) - you inwardly know from the start it´s going to be horrible to watch, but you just keep on watching. Mostly because you have no idea what to do and the feeling of being utterly helpless against silliness they are trying to sale you by being all so serious. This is definitely one of those films one wonders how did everybody manage to keep a straight face.

Who´s this guy anyway?

Arjun (with some really weird, unflattering hair that kept distracting me) plays a wealthy guy Jai, who supports charity and has a habit to talk to his dead mother´s anklets in time of need. He falls in love literally on the first sight with a beautiful teacher Tia (Aish) and soon after proposes to her. Much to his unpleasant surprise Tia is already in a relationship with a perfect guy, and hence Jai has to satisfy himself with creeping up on the couple here and there with painfully unfitting joyful music in the background as he does that (Hey hey hey... la la la.....). After he drinks too much one night, Jai causes a car accident. He survives, but his friend Anita (short and useless role for Isha Koppikar) dies on the spot as well as – gasp – Tia´s husband! Tia herself survives, but looses her memory. Her amnesia is that special Bollywood kind (see also Jab Tak Hai Jaan) when reminding her would kill her you know.

Because in Bollywood you´re supposed to root for creepers.

So now we have Jai, who, instead of going to jail for killing two people because he was driving totally drunk, offers Tia´s mom (Rakhee fuming flames and basically just waiting for Karan Arjun even though she´s in a different movie) he would whisk her, Tia and Tia´s little son into South Africa, where nobody can remind Tia of her past, and he would tell her the baby is his and Anita´s. Tia accepts all this without questions and pretty much from the next day till the end she keeps blabbering how important it is to move on from those who died (HA! If only you knew you´d be the mopy one!) and does everything in her power to romance Jai, who in his turn has bad conscience.

Mere Karan Arjun aayenge!

For God´s sake snap out of it, woman!

Indeed, every ten minutes felt like an episode of a soap opera, with mood swings and silly reasons for action. The ending is abrupt and pretty much useless. If you´re waiting for some drama when Tia remembers – she is probably the first on screen character who doesn´t and happily falls in the arms of her old creeper.

Arjun is a poor actor. I used to be quite impressed by him, but more films I see the more clear it is to me how limited and repetitive he is. There is no passion in him, and while his voice is pleasant to listen to, the intonation is far from being utilized. Aishwarya is better than him, but as much as I think she rocks in subtle, quiet, dignified and mature roles, she is a major pain in bubbly/funny/girly ones – and this is one of the latter. Somebody should stop her from laughing on screen! She dances beautifully, but no song is truly memorable, and to put give you a shocking news, I don´t think she looked good in the film either.

Dil Ka Rishta is a bubblegum nonsense, a kind of story I imagine Danielle Steel putting together to make some of her female readers teary-eyed. Not worth your time if you´re looking for recommendation.

Yo te quiero Don Jai!

Salaam-E-Ishq

Directed by: Nikhil Advani

Starring: John Abraham, Vidya Balan, Anil Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, Govinda, Shannon Esra, Salman Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Akshaye Khanna, Ayesha Takia, Sohail Khan, Ishaa Koppikar

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Quite entertaining but without much impact. Non-demanding fun for everybody. Lots of great actors, lots of film references, lots of love and that of many forms. The six couples represent six stories that together have only one thing in common: being love stories in one way or another.

So we have:

1. John and Vidya in a Venezuelan telenovela style story: He is a Hindu, she is a Muslim. But they love each other and just celebrated their wedding anniversary. But then Vidya suffers a serious injury in a train crash, after which she partly looses her memory (yes, that part which included her husband). And now John is sad and miserable and he does all he can to help his wife regain the memories of love......
   
   
   
2. Salman and Priyanka in a typical Bollywood romantic comedy: She is a famous item girl desiring to be next Madhubala, a true heroine with memorable performances. And so she makes up a story about „Rahul“, her true love, to make herself interesting, gain attention and give an impression of her purity (fit for Indian heroine). But then a guy appears and claims to be her true love Rahul... and for the sake of fame she plays along....
   
   
   
3. Anil and Juhi in westernized drama about a failing marriage: They are NRIs living in London with their children. She takes care of the family, he spends his days in the office, where he obviously does nothing but sitting and watching the clock. Then he travels by tube, and one day his eyes fall upon a young girl. And the middle-crisis stricken man begins an affair with her, deceiving his wife......
   
   
   
4. Govinda and Shannon in a typical Bollywood romantic comedy no. 2: He is a taxi driver dreaming about one true love. She is a brash blonde American searching for a guy who promised to marry her, but now is in India to hunt for a nice India bride. Govinda and his taxi are more then helpful, but the groom is escaping all the time. And poor Govinda falls in love....
   
   
   
5. Akshaye and Ayesha in a modernized Bollywood romantic film: They are about to be married, but then Akshaye gets really cold feet and does whatever he can to ruin the wedding. None of those work. And when he finally makes peace with his marriage, Ayesha finds out something that makes her call the whole wedding off. And Akshaye realizes what a fool he is...
   
   
   
6. Sohail and Ishaa in south-indian-ish comedy: Just got married, both eager to make love..... and never succeding in it! First the house burns down, then some children disturb, then their car breaks give in...... Making love is not easy at all!
   
   
   

All the stories had a potential to be good movies on their own. They were funny when supposed to, they were sad when supposed to, they had beginning and end, they made sense. There was wit, fun, fluff, shirt-less Salman, some teary moments. But with six rather powerful plots full of wonderful chances there is hardly any time to explore them in depth. The actors did not really have a chance to show the real scope of the characters in the limited time they were given. Put all together they create a fun collage, but there is nothing truly remarkable about any of them. Pity. The editing was flawless though, practically seamless.

All the actors are good. Among the men Govinda with his perfect comic timing and priceless expressions stands out the most, among women it is Juhi Chawla with her sensitive approach who has the greatest acting proweness. Special mentions belong to Akshaye Khanna, who yet again proves his versatility, and to Vidya Balan. John, Priyanka, Salman, Ayesha.... all are more like an eye-candies (if they rock your boat, that is). Anil Kapoor without a moustache is a horrendous sight to behold. The most moving (read tear-jerking) story is that of John and Vidya, the funniest and cutest story is the one of Sohail and Isha, but sadly it is given the least footage and serves more like a fun cameo.

There is really not much to review. There are no strong ideas or innovative remarks that would rise in your mind. Enjoy and move on. That´s it.