Om Shanti Om

Directed by: Farah Khan

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Deepika Padukone, Arjun Rampal, Kirron Kher, Shreyas Talpade

Released: 2007

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

While I do not hold Farah Khan in high esteem as a director, she did something remarkable and created a film which has been terribly important in my personal Bollywood journey, and so enjoyable that it easily ranks in my top ten Indian films. Om Shanti Om is like a gigantic puzzle box. There is truly everything you may ask for in a film – puppy love, eternal love, slapstick humour, subtle humour, tragedy, action, memorable dialogues, great soundtrack.... and when it all comes together it just clicks and works wonders. Nothing speaks more in favour of the film that even though it is stuffed to the broom with film-references and making good-natured fun of the style of Indian filmmaking, it has become my number one choice of recommendation whenever Bollywood beginners ask me to show them a film. They know nothing about Bollywood, yet all of them like Om Shanti Om with all the quirks and in spite of not understanding any of the underlying jokes (and having no idea who that bunch of people randomly appearing in Deewangi Deewangi are).

Shahrukh Khan is allowed to over-play his already dramatic antics and as a result we get two delightfully different, yet both completely over the top heroes: Om Kapoor the goofy, star-struck movie fan, who lives only for his dream of becoming a star and gaining love of the gorgeous Shantipriya, the dream girl of the silver screen; and Om Kapoor the spoilt brat and arrogant actor who takes everything for granted. They only really become one and the same person as they near their destiny – the goofy bubble-gum 70s Om finds his doom in flames, that also shockingly take away Shantipriya, the irritable 00s Om upon realizing that he has unfinished business from his previous life. His over-dramatic acting is spot on and exactly what the film needs. And Dard-E-Disco is the greatest item song Bollywood has produced and you cannot tell me otherwise, capturing both the fun and ridiculousness item songs stand for.

I could not but oogle over Deepika Padukone (and her stunning, stunning wardrobe throughout the film), who, though dubbed, gave a very confident and good debut performance. Her expressions and eyes speak a language of their own, even if the voice is not hers. She is glamorous and perfect as Shanti. The whole supporting cast is apt and excellent, Arjun Rampal giving you the necessary creeps, Kirron Kher both amusing you and breaking your heart as typical filmi Maa, Shreyas Talpade with his adorable and undying support to Om´s dreams. Not to mention all the array of stars and superstars who agreed to do a cameo. The whole Filmfare awards bit was utterly hilarious also thanks to impeccable comic timing of Abhishek Bachchan and Akshay Kumar. And how heartening it was to see Rishi Kapoor and Subhash Ghai, who “opened” the whole film, fighting over a microphone? That is one of those golden moment that make Om Shanti Om so endearing.

THIS

IS

NOT

OK (did I mention I am pyrophobic?)

The film is visually opulent, nothing short of Bhansali level of opulence actually. The aesthetics of it appealed to me greatly as they stem from my beloved Art Noveau, which gives for example the green-rooms corridor almost a fairy-tale look. Another wonderful thing are all the beautiful painting by Alfons Mucha on the walls. The songs are skillfully choreographed and also magnificent, from romantic randez-vous in a film studio for Mein Agar Kahoon, to fabulously theatrical Dastaan, clearly inspired by the big masquerade scene from the Phantom of the Opera. And they are all beautiful. Except for Dar-E-Disco which is not beautiful, but totally fab in its own right as mentioned above. The lyrics “Now I am a wanderer, and a lover of disco, as I wander around London, Paris, New York, L.A., San Francisco!” are a true gem.

Do...

you......

.....hear his heart breaking?

As you can already tell, I adore this film. I dare to go as far as to compare Om Shanti Om with another Bollywood extravaganza – Amar Akbar Anthony – even though the latter is without doubt on a whole another level of iconic. The right mix of stuff that ranks from touching to pretty much crazy, with logic loopholes that one couldn´t care for any less, since it is simply all just too much fun. It is a well known fact that Om Shanti Om is an unofficial remake of Karz, which in turn was a remake of Madhumati, all films dealing with the themes of revenge “from beyond the grave”, with reincarnation being the turning point. It is also remarkable that unlike another set of remakes (based on the trope of separated twin siblings), all these films are memorable and great. Farah Khan simply took the story and filled every scene with potshots on almost every aspect of Hindi films. However these are all taken with much love and never even border on insulting. Om Shanti Om is both a parody of Bollywood and at the same time appreciates most of what makes it distinct and special.

Hum Tum

Directed by: Kunal Kohli

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Kirron Kher, Rishi Kapoor, Rati Agnihotri

Released: 2004

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It surprised me greatly how much I enjoyed this film on a second viewing after not being impressed by it the first time around. Usually this isn´t the case, rather you find yourself underwhelmed (or even embarrassed) by something that made you cheer, but watching it yet again ruins the magic, reveals the flaws, until you brush it aside with apologetic smile. I suppose the knowledge of what to expect actually helped the movie in my eyes, because previously I have been looking for something epic and genius (yep, another film over-praised) – and that just isn´t there.

The story is not that complicated so you wouldn´t be able to guess who ends up with whom in first five minutes. As soon as you see flamboyant, free-minded womanizer like Karan (Saif) and serious, sophisticated and elegant Rhea (Rani), you get the drift. They are to hate each other at the beginning and throughout the film he will realize she is not snooty and she will find out he is not useless. And they will fall in love. And you are right. From sight-seeing in Amsterdam, through brief meeting in New York we actually cover several years to find Rhea getting married to Sameer (Abhishek Bachchan in a short cameo), while Karan seems not to have changed at all. And another time shift – a year later: our leads find themselves in Paris. Karan unchanged, Rhea a widow, even quieter, more melancholic and introverted than before.

But indeed they finally find a way to each other, indeed they meet a few obstacles in form of confusion over their own feelings and inability to express them, and indeed they finally walk away from us with arms wrapped around each other. Kunal Kohli in the director´s chair however makes sure to give you a feeling of good cinema, and not just another mediocre fest. It is all about the presentation, the form – and actors, who all give a beautiful performance, although that changes nothing in Saif winning a National award for the film being a ridiculous turn of events. Rani looks utterly beautiful and her outfits are all stunning from wedding attire to a pink saree she´s wearing near the end.

I was extremely delighted to see Rati Agnihotri (as Saif´s unreasonably young mother – there is only 10 years between them, but oh well, it´s Bollywood aka Sexistville), even more so since she did have some very nice scenes, and I was even happier when Rishi Kapoor appeared (as Saif´s father), and actually squeeled when he and Rati shared a frame for a few moments. Kirron Kher pulls off yet another loving and funny mum, not failing to charm. Her whacky, loud Maa characters can certainly get tiring, but if you manage to keep her films apart and don´t watch them too soon one after another, it does strike the right chord.

So – why wasn´t I smitten the first time I watched Hum Tum? I expected seriously too much. As nice as the film is, it is no incredible piece of art or iconic romance. It doesn´t really stand out from the crowd, even though it belong to the better part of it. It is rather slow, and at times it drags. Saif doesn´t look his best. And the animated bits with two positively evil looking adolescents/children (?) are annoying and uttering some of the most clichéd dialogues. They are supposedly trying to tell us in what stage the relationship between Karan and Rhea is, but in fact they come off as completely unrelated. And not funny. And in the end they are two animated children. Who „fall in love“ with each other. Eww. Perhaps the animated little devils could have been growing up throughout the film? 

Kurbaan

Directed by: Rensil D'Silva
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Om Puri, Kirron Kher, Vivek Oberoi, Dia Mirza
Released: 2009 

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Why do I choose to watch and review so many dark films lately? Maybe the annual winter depression is settling in and results in my need to watch some grim films and review other grim films, which give you nothing but grim feelings and eventually some sickening tightness in your stomach area as you watch the actors suffers, bleed, suffer, weep and suffer. Kurbaan is one of these films. Just like „New York“ before it and „My name is Khan“ after it Kurbaan uses the tragedy of the 11th September 2001 as its background and also a point from which the story goes.

Avantika is a college teacher living in Delhi. Young, unattached. Up until the moment a new teacher Ehsaan appears in school and since the first minute is making passes at Avantika in a manner that would earn him a sleazy stalker label in my book. Fortunatelly soon enough he turns all that into coffee breaks and more regular stuff... and ultimately wins his prize when Avantika, her head and heart all messed up, not only gives into the relationship in spite of everything, including knowing him for a short time and religious differences. Because she is a Hindu and he is a Muslim... suspicious yet?

I am a nice guy who wears make up and I shall love you forever.

Avantika used to teach in the US and only returned to India because of her father´s illness, but now her American university is wanting her back. But she is in love, nah? How can she just leave India for her career now that Ehsaan is busy romancing her day and night? And so Ehsaan does a oh-so-noble gesture and declares his love is more important than his job and he is more than willing o relocate to the US with Avantika. They get marry and he thus gets a right to live and work in America..... suspicious yet?

Ehsaan starts teaching at the university, together with Avantika  they find a house in an Indian (mostly Muslim) neighbourhood.... life is perfect, nah? Up until the moment one of the neighbours, Salma, reveals to her that the people around may just not be as peaceful and nice. Her husband does not want her to leave the house. And he has a secret. And Salma asks Avantika to contact a journalist Rihana and ask for help, because she herself cannot do anything.... Avantika is disturbed. Even more so when Salma disappears the very next day... Now pregnant and very much bewildered Avantika is suddenly finding out the horrifying truth. Her neighbours are terrorists. She needs to tell Ehsaan! And so she runs into his arms only to realize he already knows. And what more. He is one of them.... now – which one of you have not seen that coming?

Me and my buddies are literally a mind-blowing gang!

The predictability factor is one of the main weaknesses of Kurbaan. There are too many things and details introduced with an intention for things to look normal, but hey, we are watching a film. We know that 99% things that happen are not unintentional, that almost everything is supposed to be remembered because it is coming to our attention later. The whole plot is of course sickening, just like any kind of terrorism. But there is hardly anything that would surprise you. And considering Saif Ali Khan is the main lead, it comes as no shock that they tried to make him a „likeable terrorist“, who is only a terrorist because he lost his family, and who now loves Avantika, and basically we should feel pity for him. I cannot say I did. True enough there are likeable villains in the reel world that one feels for – from Shahrukh Khan in Baazigar, Amitabh Bachchan in Agneepath to most recently Priyanka Chopra in 7 Khoon Maaf, but the difference between them is that they do not kill hundreds of innocent people. Even a through and through evil character like Don, who doesn´t forgive and is a complete Kamina is more likeable than Ehsaan!That said Saif acted brilliant and looked hot, in spite of wearing a heavy make-up, looking almost girly at times. Overall the performances are really the only thing that keeps Kurbaan above the water and saves it from drowning.

And my eyelashes. Don´t forget my eyelashes.

Kareena may not really look convincing as a university professor, but vulnerability she displays makes her a perfect choice for Avantika. Since the first part of the movie is mostly told through her point of view (her settling in the new neighbourhood and slowly unveiling the secrets had a funny X-files vibe by the way), it makes one sorry that the other half focuses more on Saif and his „friends“ planning an attack while she is mostly just lying in bed and crying. The other couple that impresses with their screen presence and commendable acting are my very much adored Om Puri and not-sure-what-I-feel-for-her Kirron Kher. They are menacing, just one look at them teaches you about respect. And they are so damn good.

All that said the final word that can describe Kurbaan would be „boring“. Except for two or three thrilling sequences (Avantika finding the truth, Rihana on the plane, the climactic chase against the time) the film feels never-endingly long and the snail pace is sure to wear one out soon, especially since there are no changes in the settings, music or anything else that would demand full attention. The terrorists are ultimately evil, their women ultimately innocent and Ehsaan, being a „likeable“ terrorists, is allowed to promptly die with Avantika crying her eyes out before him. And sadly the boring factor of the film is so high it lowers the rating considerably.

Your eye-liner is gone!

No point in living now.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Abhishek Bachchan, Preity Zinta, Amitabh Bachchan, Kirron Kher

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I will never really understand where did my courage to watch Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna come from. Till this day I have not been able to overcome the outrage and hate that both have come over me after watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Ghum, which I consider the worst film I´ve ever seen. I guess it was only my devotion to Shahrukh Khan and my wish to know his complete body of work, combined with being naturally curious what is all the fuss about, that made me watch KANK. After 15 minutes I already knew I was going to suffer.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is basically a story about two people whose personalities suck big time and that not as much because of the circumstances but because they choose to. Shahrukh as Dev is an arrogant, selfish and most of all self-pitying brat with no respect whatsoever. Once he was a famous football player but after being hit by a car his career was over and he is limping ever since. Sure, something like that could make anyone deeply depressed, but Dev, rather than trying to move on and be useful, decides to sulk for years, blaming the whole world and mentally terrorizing his little son (I was just waiting for the kid to be hospitalized as mentally unstable and crippled for life). I don´t think I ever disliked any Shahrukh´s character as much. Even when he played an evil person like in Anjaam or Don, there was something you could admire or at least appreciate (even though what they do is wrong). But Dev is just a disgusting piece of existence, giving nothing to anyone, being jealous of his wife´s (Preity) success and destroying every moment of peace for everybody around. I am no fan of perfectly flawless characters , I like it when they are human with flaws, but there is limit to everything. Maybe it was my utter dislike for the character, but either not even Shahrukh´s acting could have make me like Dev or even Shahrukh was just bad in this. Based on my opinion that except for My Name Is Khan Karan Johar has always managed to bring out the worst out of him, I sadly tend to believe the second option.

Herodes could learn how to treat kids from Dev....

Rani as Maya is not an inspiring person either. Also wallowing in self-pity she is pushing away any chance of being happy with her husband Rishi (Abhishek). The film tried to present her as being oh so poor a soul because she does not feel romantic love for Rishi, but I only wanted to scream at her for being such a life-ruiner. Rishi is a husband of dreams really. He copes up with everything she does or says without a complaint. He is incredibly giving. And she apparently doesn´t give a damn. In this sense she is same as Dev. They both obviously LOVE being miserable and they LOVE to blame others for it. HOW in the world am I supposed to be their fan or even feel for them? Impossible!

Let´s just behave like a total ass so I can embarass my partner and pity myself even more.

In a very apparent plot twist these two fall in love and start having a secret affair consisting mainly of getting drenched in the rain and singing songs in imaginary sorrounding Karan Johar style. Up until of course they are caught..... and they separate.... and they are oh so noble now and want to save their marriages.... and they end up together of course after one of the most teary, excruciating and longest climaxes ever. By that point I was already skipping whole minutes, completely worn out by all that crap I had managed to sit through. I was not interested AT ALL in what Dev and Maya were through.

One of the greatest sore spots in the film also remains Amitabh Bachchan in his possibly most cringe worthy role ever – Sexy Sam – out of whose hangover he is suffering till this day. Instead of cool he was sleazy and his part in the story was completely unnecessary. I guess his parts of the film were supposed to be mostly fun, but this intention fails completely.

Hi! I´m Sexy Sam. Embarassment of the decade.

The saving graces are performances by Preity Zinta and Abhishek Bachchan. In other circumstances I would always choose Rani and Shahrukh over them, but not here. Theirs were the bits I enjoyed and the best scene of them all has to be Preity slapping Shahrukh after finding out the truth.

KANK fails. In basically every department. I am nobody to preach about fidelity between husband and wife (though yeah, I believe in the concept) and I can see why many marriages fail. I am not saying two people HAVE TO live with each other if they are so very unhappy. However the way infidelity is presented in this movie makes it all seem actually right and legit. There are other films that deal with the same issue and yet they manage to show all the involved people as likeable humans with reasons of their own, like Yash Chopra´s Silsila or most recently Imtiaz Ali´s Rockstar, but Karan Johar, skilled with pouring glycerine but completely clueless about real feelings makes it all one great mess where you hate the hero, you hate the heroine and you hate their love story. And you definitely hate Sexy Sam.

Devdas (2002)

Director: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit, Aishwarya, Rai, Jackie Shroff, Kirron Kher

Released: 2002

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The story of Devdas, set in 19^th century India, has first seen the light of day as a short novel by Saratchandra Chattopadhyay in 1917. The author was deeply dissatisfied with his own work and objected strongly against its publication. „It was written in a drunken state,“ he admitted. „I am ashamed of the book now. It is immoral. There is a prostitute in it and God knows what else!“ But the book was published still and it became probably the most popular Indian text of modern time. The journey of a man overpowered by his own weakness has made its way into the world of films more then ten times already, one of the most recent adaptation being the one by Sanjay Leela Bhansali. Released in 2002 the movie was a super-hit and already is being labelled as classic. Many people from other countries choose it as their first Indian movie and for many of them it is an all-time favourite. What is the magic here?

The story is not complicated. Devdas and Paro are childhood sweethearts up until the moment Devdas is sent away by his displeased father to study law in London. When he finally returns, he is a grown man and Paro blossomed into a stunningly beautiful girl. The separation did not shatter the closeness between the two, and soon they fall in love. However Paro´s family has a lower social status and hence the marriage is out of the question in the eyes of the young man´s parents. Things are made even worse when Devdas´ mother publicly insults the mother of Paro, after which the latter swears she will wed her daughter to a family even richer then the one of Devdas. After a heated argument with his father Devdas gives into his weakness and instead of standing up to his parents runs away from home, leaving confused and broken-hearted Paro behind. Only after realizing his mistake he comes back only to arrive on the day of Paro´s wedding to a much older man. Half-mad with pain Devdas seeks the company of beautiful courtesan Chandramukhi and for the first time he raises the glass of alcohol to his lips....

Devdas as handsome English gentleman....

Devdas was my first Bollywood experience, and what an experience! The genius of Sanjay Leela Bhansali´s sensitive touch is breathing from every single frame, not one place in the movie is boring, every detail has its meaning. It is udisputable, that Bhansali is way ahead of everyone when it comes the work with colours and materials. His dedication to every aspect of the project in making is admirable. To endow a film with such opulence it is easy to loose the touch with story-telling, but that is not the case with Bhansali´s Devdas. The director changed some aspects of the story, for which some people could not forgive him, but all the changes in the end contributed to the ultimate appeal of the film. Shahrukh Khan did probably described the film best, when he mentioned it as „visual orgasm“. The lavish sets and marvelous costumes leave one brethless and stunned, but in the end the story was what remained in memory the most.

All the characters are wonderfully human. There is Devdas, who is weak-willed and rather spoilt, but all he longs for is in fact appreciation of his father. There is Paro, who is dignified and dutiful, but at the same time she has pride. And the prostitute, that the author of the original novel was in the end horrified of, is a woman supposedly with no valued in life, yet she is the one who sarifices her peace of mind for a man who will never love her. The three main protagonists have done a brilliant job. Devdas is by many (including me) considered Shahrukh Khan´s best role till date. His Devdas, who comes from London, has an air of grandieur and arrogance to him, which melts completely into a self-pity and wallowing in the second part of the movie, only to be reduced to man pursuing his dying wish. Aishwarya Rai gave the role of Paro her glamorous beauty, that perfectly compliments the dignity of the character. Her most powerful scene has to be the final „run for the gate“, where she manages to be absolutely heart-breaking.

Paro and her diya...

And then there is of course Madhuri Dixit. Her Chandramukhi is by far the most convincing and the most interesting character in the film. When she first appears, you feel she is mischievous, level-headed women very much aware of her charm and abilities. You know she is intelligent and sensitive, and very, very much emphatic. And when love happens to her, she gives into it and treasures it, evne though it´s unanswered up until the final parting with Devdas. Madhuri Dixit has always had a gift to portrai a woman completely in love, and this time she combined this quality with tragic passions and devotion. Her Chandramukhi is breathing, thinking, living person, whom everybody would love. That is her magnificent acting power.

Of the supporting characters Kiron Kherr as Paro´s mother and Jackie Shroff as Chunillal are given the most space, and both are making the most of it. Especially Jackie proved his versatility, because the light-headed drunkard with good heart is nowhere near the roles he had done previously. His interaction with both Madhuri and Shahrukh is very natural. The only actress, whose performance was somehow over the top and not pleasant to watch was Ananya Khare, in the role of Kumud, who, I felt, was trying to hard and failed to impress. Some might say she was meant to be annoying, but I don´t think that´s a justification for the over-dramatic acting.

Meet Chandramukhi - woman literally as beautiful as the Moon

Just like he is amazing in his work with visual part of the film, Bhansali is also known as a great lover of music. Songs and dance numbers in his films are not meant just to pass the time, they are the essential part of the storytelling. As a result Devdas has been given a truly outstanding musical score, where every song is a sheer delight. And the picturization is just as satisfactory. The energetic and lively Dola Re Dola is in my oppinion the grandest dance number in the Hindi cinema ever. The purely Indian Kahe Chhed Mohe is an enchanting fairytale and lyrical Maar Daala weaves magic. Silsila Yee Chahat Ka is a golden moment for all lovers of the singer Shreya Goshal.

Looking at this film objectively, seeing it´s splendor and opulence, one has to admit Devdas is not realistic as such. One needs to perceive it as a fairytale or a different world, much more grand and much more colourful. However the emotional impact and love tragedy, that leaves Romeo and Juliet in shame, is wonderfully moving and captivating. It is a splendid movie.

This is the one scene that ALWAYS makes me cry!