Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai

Directed by: Milan Luthria

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai, Randeep Hooda

Released: 2010

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What can a director responsible for overhyped Dirty Picture do with a bunch of actors I would rank from „not interested“ to „dislike“ do? Surprisingly a film I really enjoyed. I have been ignoring this one for quite some time (Why? Read the first line!) but as a person who always insists on watching original before a remake and prequel before a sequel I finally sat down and hit the play button. I knew the film was quite acclaimed, but public opinion rarely sounds in tune with my own sentiments.

From time to time there is nothing better than a good Bollywood gangster flick and Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai has ticked every bracket needed to be good. Dark, but never gruelsome or lingering too much on the nasty effects of criminal activity, OUTIM is more or less a masala with a heart, in spite of being a gangster tale, and set in very attractively presented setting of 70s and 80s, thus evoking bit of that nostalgy everybody likes too.

Inspired by real events (at least I found it described like) the film revolves around an idea that criminals and their crimes are of different nature depending on what they have in heart and mind. A willful, ambitious kid that has a secure home grows up to be a selfish and self-loving individual hungry for power, while the one whose attention and approval he seeks came literally out of nothing and while he managed to become the „king“ of the Mumbai underworld his actions are dictated by his selflessness and love for common folk. One is a smuggler, the other is a killer. The interaction and play-off between larger-than-life yet level-headed Sultan (Ajay Devgn) and impulsive, as well as somehow childish, immature Shoaib is the backbone of the film, which in the end gets broken and leaves you a bit numb for a while.

The film has a nice, tight screenplay, that is not weighted down even by two romantic sub-tracks, which bring further understanding of what men the main protagonists actually are. The relationship between Sultan and a Bollywood star played by Kangana Ranaut (I suppose a character created to remind us of notorious Mandakini) is based on caring and love, Shoaib´s selfishness and possessiveness has the upper hand in his love life. His girlfriend (Prachi Desai) is more or less seen as his property, bending to his wishes even when she doesn´t like them or are simply unacceptable to her own mindset.

The film´s strengths are above all good script and performance by Ajay Devgn. Dressed in white, he embodies a towering figure in the game of power, and has an aura of invincibility. He carries the film on his shoulders and charisma and doesn´t make a false step. Emraan Hashmi, whom I just cannot like for whatever reason, is good enough, mostly because he IS supposed to be unlikeable. Kangana and Prachi both play their roles convincingly, even though Kangana´s dialogue delivery and voice will always be a problem. Special mention goes to special cameo by Randeep Hooda, another guy I don´t really care for in general, but like him here.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai has its share of flaws and illogical moments (why in the world would you need to deconstruct a railway track just so a lorry can ride over it?), and it is not the most exciting gangster movie out there either. But it works, has solid performances and superb music, as well as that already mentioned pleasant vintage touch.

Ishqiya

Directed by: Abhishek Chaubey

Starring: Naseeruddin Shah, Arshad Warsi, Vidya Balan, Adil Hussain

Released: 2010

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It would be a blatant lie if I denied that the impuls for revisiting Ishqiya was the coming of its successor in the form of Dedh Ishqiya (which has been watched and immensely loved and will be reviewed at LENGTH so just prepare yourselves), but at the same time I can claim with a clear conscience that the first film was definitely one of my favourite films of 2010, long before any news about a sequel. Because it was quite different, yet somewhere along the line it still didn´t feel like a wannabe-artsy film. And mostly because the characters created within the Ishqiya world range from extremely entertaining to quite fascinating. What Abhishek Chaubey managed to do in his debut movie, many more experienced directors sturggle to achieve after years of work. And put me in an awkward position, because I have started writing a review and yet I still don´t know how to write about the film. Or what really..... Ishqiya is one of the films I genuinely enjoyed.... but don´t have that much to say about (seriously wait for my word-diorrhea that will come once I get to Dedh....)

A sun slowly rises above the hills, enough to colour everything in hues of beige and brown, but not yet enough to reveal the true colours of a village landscape somewhere in Uttar Pradesh, where the story takes place. The visuals throughout refrain from using too much colour, settling instead for very earthy tones, in which a wild flower or Vidya Balan´s white choli stand out and draw even more attention than they would otherwise. The attention given to a detail is wonderful. And the overal atmosphere created quite unique. As is Krishna, with her glorious braid and drool-worthy sarees.

Now, Vidya Balan is possibly the sexiest (as well as stunningly gorgeous) actress Bollywood has on its hands these days and she is thus perfectly cast as the female protagonist of the story. A great feminist figure she is – going afer what she wants, manipulating others without a blink of an eye and using all that has nature endowed her with, from wit and swift thinking to sinful seduction. And she is so good in that art that no wonder she has two uncouth crooks wrapped around her finger. Played by Naseeruddin Shah and Arshad Warsi, the uncle-nephew thieving duo Khalujaan-Babban, have made a sure entry into the golden book of Bollywood bromance. Excellent actors with wonderful chemistry, they essay characters who believe themselves to be a lot more cunning than they actually are, and that together with them both being easily swayed by a promise of love (which they are willing to follow with devoted puppy-eyes) makes them utterly endearing. In many way they are the soul of the film, even if Vidya is the center of it. There can be no complaints about performances, music or visuals.

How do you not love them?

The story seems to be going one way for most part and in the last 30 minutes takes a very unexpected turn (at least silly me did NOT see that coming). It takes quite a while before it picks up a decent pace, and the build-up is good, unfortunatelly the very end feels somehow incomplete. As if the writer didn´t really know what to do with the characters once the issue is dealt with and over. At times the viewer grows impatient for story to move on. And if this review so far feels rather incoherent, it is because the film too is incoherent to a certain extent. It takes patience to „get there“ and good will to believe it will be worth it in the end.

I hope we get more films like Ishqiya. More „tight“, but with the same precision and care placed into the characters. With more even pace but with equal importance given to little details and touches. With similarly impressive twists and even more women, who actually are people. Ishqiya world is very feminist-friendly, with men being part of it (and being loveable with their shortcomings) but never really catching a drift of what is really going on. Ishqiya world is a great space to be.

Karthik calling Karthik

Directed by: Vijay Lalwani

Starring: Farhan Akhtar, Deepika Padukone, Ram Kapoor

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Karthik is a very intelligent and capable man. But being intelligent and capable doesn´t automatically go hand in hand with another thing, that thing which ultimately matters – being successful. Indeed, Karthik is a looser. When it comes to his career, his personal life, even his apartment, he has nothing, gets nothing and is respected by absolutely no one. It´s not that he wouldn´t want his life to change, he is, after all, not a masochist, but all his attempts to stand up for himself (an advice he has so often heard from his psychiatrist) turn out more or less disastrous. When he tries to convince his boss it is actually him responsible for a mistake made, the boss has a fit and Karthik finds himself with no job.

 

Near to nervous collapse, with nothing in his life and with no optimistic promises of the future, Karthik decides to commit suicide. But just mere seconds before he can swallow a deadly dose of sleeping pills, his phone rings. And when Karthik finally decides to pick it up, he has no idea this phonecall is going to change his life completely. A phonecall that, as it turns out later, cannot be traced. And the calls keep coming. Every morning and 5 AM. The person on the other side is Karthik´s wellwisher. He wants his life to change for the better. And offers the best motivational speeches. And they work! Damn they work.... Overnight Karthik changes from a quiet and „please-forget-I-exist“ looser into an assertive, confident and stylish man who demands respect and gets it. His job is back with bonuses, his boss ashamed. And the girl he always loved finally notices him.

Karthik keeps receiving the calls and cannot believe his happiness. The well-wisher on the other side seems happy too and asks nothing in return. Only one thing – the calls should remain secret no matter what. Karthik promises. But ultimately he decides to share the secret with the girl he loves (after getting elegantly rid of her boyfriend she finally returned his feelings and agreed to marry him), because he does´t want to keep anything from her. He shouldn´t have. She now thinks he is mad. Why? Because the wellwisher who just keeps calling..... is nobody but Karthik himself. And since he broke the promise, there shall certainly be a hell to pay....

Had a phone rang while I was watching, I would have probably freaked out. Because if there is something the movie managed to do in the process, it is to make the phone an evil aparatus that hides way too many secrets for our liking. Especially if you plug it out of the wall and it just won´t stop ringing. You just have to keep guessing. How is it possible that Karthik is calling himself? The Karthik on the phone is obviously the same Karthik we see on screen, yet he sounds too different to be the same Karthik we see on the screen. Is it all in Karthik´s imagination? Is it Kartik from different dimension calling? Is that somebody else altogether just sounding like Karthik? How? Why? What? At some points the film is more of a horror than – a psychological drama. Indeed. The things are a lot less mysterious when revealed and your phone-phobia ends together with the rolling credits. 

Deepika Padukone does well in whatever she is given (which is not much), and is as competent as the rest of the supporting cast. The film however really is only about one person and that is Farhan as Karthik. He gives a very good performance. Both the somehow sickly and pitiful Karthik tortured by his demons and a stylish, even ruthless man going after his goal, he delivers. His stages of madness and fear too are excellently captured and enacted.

The disadvantage of the film is it hardly has any repeat value. You are not exactly bored re-watching, but the movie´s effect lies in the fact you don´t know the truth, and watching it with the knowledge of how things actually are takes away the thrilling creeps. And sadly, those are the only feeling worth it in the film.

Veer

Directed by: Anil Sharma

Starring: Salman Khan, Zarine Khan, Mithun Chakraborthy, Jackie Shroff, Sohail Khan

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

They called it VEER but I shall forever remember it as WEIRD. But to be honest I don´t thing a proper adjective to describe how awful it is has been invented so far so let me just tell you this: Veer is one of those films that need to be burnt and its ashes then scattered in the deepest space so nobody can ever watch them again. Every mention of it should be erased and those who has seen it should be brainwashed until they don´t remember. Back in the 90s the filmmakers may have already seen that Salman Khan´s film ideas make only a huge mess, and yet not twenty years have passed and they decided to create a movie based on his idea again. Hopefully for the last time ever.

The story is basically dealing the Pindaris (who they really were I had to look up on the net) and one huge betrayal by aging but still having „it“ Jackie Shroff. The betrayed one however was none other than Mithun Chakraborthy, and after cutting off Jackie´s arm, he fled with the rest of his people and raised two sons – Veer (Salman) and another one (played by Sohail Khan). He then sends these sons to England to „absorb“ British cunning ways so they can use that against the English rule and also against Jackie, who is ruling like a Raja in one of the Indian provinces..... 

"Tell me, stranger, how do I to get to Woodstock?"

The time frame of the film is utterly confusing. We are told that Veer was born in early 1870s , so if he is supposed to be 25 in the film, it is taking place somewhere before the year 1900. I can assure you though, that at that time there was no Czechoslovakia (indeed mentioned), there were no black women in British universities, pineapples were not sold in the streets of London, ladies were not wearing such awful dresses and men would actually take off their hats before dancing at a grand royal ball. Nobody is really concerned about minor inaccuracies in films, but Veer is nothing but a shameless history rape.

WHAT ERA IS THIS?

WHAT PLACE IS THIS?

WHAT FASHION IS THIS?

WHAT DRUG IS THIS?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

WHAT WHAT WHAT?

While in this really strange out-of-time caricature of the British capital, Veer falls in love with an Indian princess studying abroad. Zarine Khan, who essayed the role, is one of those misfortunes brought upon Bollywood audience by Salman. Her face has a striking likeness to Katrina Kaif and they both share the same stoned face, seemingly unable to move no matter what their character is supposed to feel. She doesn´t suit Salman as a pairing and again her outfits in the movie were anything by accurate (historically and geographically). The bad choice and presentation of the heroine kills of the romantic part of the film.

Was this that "Come in your Princess Haloween costume" scene?

The patriotic part of the film is unforgivably boring. The script and twist are not at all exciting (though curiously still a bit better than the utter snooze-fest called Mangal Pandey, where it was Aamir Khan trying to convince his countrymen it would be a good idea to kick the British out of India), the action quite ridiculous because of all the unrealistic effects that are supposed to make Salman look like war God defying the very basics of physics, but are not cool as a part of what aspired to be a historic megafilm. Mithun and Jackie easily steal the show whenever they are in the frame, even their roles are not that bad, but they are not given a proper storyline of their own, that would utilize their talents (especially not Jackie). 

"Dude, I owned Salman money. But what is your excuse for being here?"

"I was high."

Veer really is weird. The London part is the worst, with an obligatory scene with a super racist white teacher insulting his students so Salman can have another patriotic speech, and with streets full of young white women who look so happy and positive you start thinking if they are on drugs. And thus I have to warn you – think twice before you let the bleeding Salman with an axe in his hand ride onto your TV screen. Unless you´re in a mood for one of the most unintentionally hilarious films ever.

"One day nobody in India will remember Bata shoes are from the Czech republic, which does not yet exist, but we mention it here as Czechoslovakia for the sake of sounding extremely creative and knowledgable! Ha! Your move!"

 

Dabangg

Directed by: Abhinav Kashyap

Starring: Salman Khan, Sonu Sood, Sonakshi Sinha, Arbaaz Khan, Dimple Kapadia, Vinod Khanna, Anupam Kher

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I am no Salman Khan fan. I genuinly love some of his films from the 90s, but that usually has hardly anything to do with him. Instead the films he stars in either have some other great actor or actress (like in the case of let´s say Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam), or are simply perfectly made (like Bhansali´s Khamoshi). There are several movies I like because of him (Andaaz Apna Apna anyone?), but they are rather rare cases. Unlike many others I do not care for Salman´s personal life and I do not feel the need to hate on him just because he and Shahrukh don´t get along, the truth is I simply don´t find him an actor powerful or convincing enough. There is X-factor more at work than talent, although he has (had?) plenty of it when he was younger. The older he gets the more lazy he gets. Hardly ever challenges himself, he doesn´t wander from his comfort zone, and he is one of those who will repeat the same formula again and again as long as somebody watches. So as you can see I am no Salman Khan fan. And yet after watching Dabangg I wanted to turn into one!

Prem is dead. Long live Chulbul.

Dabangg is a cinematic entertainment of the first class. Clever and witty, full of effortless comedy, action-packed sequences, beautiful songs and if I should use the atrocious clichéd saying, there is something for everybody. And the main hero is a real treat. Chulbul Pandey calls himself with gusto „Robin Hood“, but unlike the medieval European bandit who robbed the rich and gave all to the poor, he robs the robbers and keeps the loot to himself. In a way I was astounded to see how corrupt Chulbul actually is and nobody seems to mind. I guess the general perception of policemen is that they are all corrupt, and apparently as long as you are as righteous towards others as Chulbul you can afford it. There are other things that make him a sympathetic character. He is neglected by his step-father who naturally spoils his own son Makhi, he is devoted to his Maa, and finally he is loveable in his goofiness when it comes to his lady love (incredibly fresh and charming Sonakshi Sinha). Chulbul is Dabangg. Chulbul is what the whole film is about.

Bit of a Freddie Mercury style can never hurt.

When his younger brother Makhi steals some of the money Chulbul kept from himself, he has no idea they belonged to another wretchedly corrupt person – a politician Chedi Singh (Sonu Sood), and he naturally wants it back. He also wants to destroy Chulbul, who has made his life rather uncomfortable after finding out that some of his dark deeds harm the common folk (basically you can steal as long as nobody knows or comes to harm – that seems to be the moral of the story). And after Chulbul interrups Malaika Arora´s hot item number with some of his own awesome steps and pelvic thrusts, Chedi stops to control his own hatred....

Let´s shake it bhabhi!

The thrill, the family drama, the kick-ass action, the adorable romance and political plotting are intertwined just spectacularly. Painted with pleasant, earthy colours and tones and framed with melodious songs, the film is actually beautiful from every angle. True enough, over the years we have grown tired of the sudden stop of the hero in the air while he´s beating the heck up of the bad guys ala Matrix, but somehow Dabangg manages to present them as cool, something not all those who use the trick are able to do. There are memorable dialogues („I am going to make so many holes in you, that you are going to get confused where to breathe from and where to fart from“) and memorable scenes, and for the first time ever Salman doesn´t take off his shirt. Instead the shirt takes off itself.

I´m too sexy for my shirt!

I won the best stripper award six years in a row!

Are you kidding me?

As I have already noted, Chulbul is one of Salman´s best performances. He is unusually (for him) convincing and one can see the role was tailor made for him. His charisma and body language are wonderfully in sync with the character and he definitely deserves all the praise he received for it and more. Where is Salman, there needs to be an arm-candy as well. Debuting Sonakshi Sinha doesn´t have a big or deep role. She is what is demanded of a heroine. Beautiful, young, sweet. We can argue about how overrated she is (or is not) by media as we are waiting for her to act in something else, but the fact remains she did exceedingly well with whatever she was given. She definitely has the best dialogue delivery among the leading ladies who were launched in the last 5 years, and she has a pleasant, expressive face. She refused to be lost in Salman´s larger than life image and in spite of everything made her presence known. 

My hope for brighter Bollywood future.

Arbaaz Khan, who is one of the most wooden actors I´ve seen, finally found himself. Supporting role of a village lazybum, who is not evil, but not exactly saint or clever either, did for him what Chulbul did for Salman: it made him seem a great actor. For the first time ever I found him completely natural and at ease in front of the camera. The supporting cast overall did a good job, even though sentiments could hurt at a bit when you realize Dimple Kapadia plays Salman´s mother alongside Vinod Khanna. For me she will always be that young girl unashamedly opening door for Rishi Kapoor dressed inocently inapropriate.....

Pocket money time.

It´s difficult to label anything as a modern day classic. People are bound to disagree and some will slam you for your inferior opinion, and of course only the future years can really show if your guess was wrong or right, but somehow I have a feeling Dabangg deserves to be on the list of „modern classics“ for the pure fun and entertainment it represents. Also because even though it´s a massala and Salman Khan film, you do not need to leave your brain at home. And even though my undying devotion lies with Shahrukh Khan, I dare say Dabangg was the best film of the whole 2010, leaving its "chief rival" My name is Khan far behind.

Guzaarish

Directed by: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Aditya Roy Kapoor

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Do you remember that scene from Om Shanti Om where Shahrukh Khan is supposed to play a suffering deaf and blind lover with no functional limbs? And what his reaction is? „This film will be critically acclaimed, it will win awards..... but this film will flop!“ Of course we all remember that scene. But I suspect Sanjay Leela Bhansali never saw the film (that by the way beaten his own Saawariya hollow, releasing at the same day). Had he watched the movie and saw th scene, he probably wouldn´t have made Guzaarish – or perhaps would treat it bit differently. SLB is responsible for some of my most favourite movies. In fact right from Khamoshi to Saawariya I cannot rate them lower than 9/10, that´s how perfect they are to me. Guzaarish however, made me unwillingly put my bias toward the director aside and admit that what they say is true. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a megalomaniac who boasts a lot and the more he is trying to create a perfect film the more annoying he gets. Guzaarish in the end feels wanna-be-ish and rather pretentious.

Strong Saawariya deja-vu....

Just like Black and Saawariya (and to an extent Devdas), Guzaarish too takes place in some unnamed reality, which seems familiar enough, but yet it is impossible to pinpoint it in space and time. That is, after all, SLB´s vision of making „timeless“ films. However while his previous films (filled with overwhelming gorgeousness) had feelings to live, strong messages to shout and intriguing characters to meet, Guzaarish lacks the magic. Perhaps because it never evolves beyond the idea introduced at the very beginning and doesn´t take the opportunity to speed up and sweep you off your feet in the whirlwind of emotions. It is definitely not the Bhansali I know. Maybe he also fails because for the first time ever he was not making an ode to love? Sure, love is present, but demands no attention.

"I lied! I want everybody´s attention!"

The films touches a rather sensitive matter of euthanasia, but (fortunately) does not state the ultimate opinion, neither is the point of view forced to the public. It doesn´t get preachy, or not too much. In the end it is a simple story of a man, who wants to leave life, that is slowly slipping away from him anyway.

"LOL let´s die today!"

What saves the movie are the performances. Hrithik as a disabled magician, who is in dreams still haunted by the adoring applause of the audience, was amazing. His facial expressions were spot on and there are very few actors, who could have done better, maybe not even the same. From deeply desperate to maniac-like joy, he gives his all to the character. The show-stealer in a beautifully subtle role is, however, his devoted nurse aka THE Aishwarya Rai I love and always dreamed of getting her back after the disasters of Raavan and Action Replayy (sadly it only confirms the theory about her needing Bhansali or Mani Ratnan to bring out the best in her). Their interaction is interesting to watch, although the unending verbal sexual innuendos in between them seem cheap and Aish´s moaning scene pure awkward. It almost ruined the film for me at the very beginning. Yes, after watching it whole you understand why Ethan talks like that and why she responds, but it simply comes a a complete shocker and not everybody will be as understanding and willing to understand as I am. 

She was amazing... but even if she was crap you´d forgive her because... look at her face!

All the supporting cast was very good too, although Aditya Roy Kapoor seems destined to be the new age comic side-kick. A new generation Johnny Lever in a way. What irritated me BIG TIME was the constant slipping into English by all the characters, beyond the limit of tolerable. Too much of it. Music is beautiful, but it does not live up to standarts of Devdas, HDDCS or Saawariya soundtrack´s quality (and again – English songs in Hindi films are just not done).

In the end I was quite confused. By Ethan, who preaches about living life to the fullest, but wanting to die. By Sophia, who doesn´t want to let him go, but is the one to kill him with his consent. By depressingly beautiful visuals, that actually creeped me out instead of bringing the sense of enjoyment. Something was simply missing. Guzaarish is not a bad film by any means, however coming from Sanjay Leela Bhansali it is a huge disappointment and his weakest work as yet.

"True story!"