Veergati

Directed by: K.K. Singh

Starring: Salman Khan, Atul Agnihotri, Himani Shivpuri, Farida Jalal, Divya Dutta

Released: 1995

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Veergati is one of those film made by and for men who consider themselves awesomely macho. Or who think being awesomely macho is the coolest thing ever. The 90s have given us some real gems of Indian cinema, but there is also a dark side to them, and from its darkest depths of all stuff regressive comes this story of an orphan played by Salman Khan, weirdly dead-eyed and foreshadowing his non-acting today, even though back then, in other films, he has always beamed with energy.

I have no love interest in the film which already gives you the idea I will die in the end.

It is all very bizarre and WTF from the very start. Upon bringing home a helpless baby he had found abandoned in the streets, a soft-hearted police officer needs to deal with a hysterical wife, who leaves him because one day the baby will surely make her yet unborn daugther a prostitute (if this sentence doesn´t make any sense to you, do not ever try watching the film). The policeman lets the pregnant wife leave him forever to raise up the baby. The kid grows up into a very disagreeable hero, who is supposed to be good in heart, but to be honest he acts like an idiot. To people he supposedly loves he is consistently hurtful, never failing to cry over the fact he has been thrown into the gutter as a baby, completely omitting how lucky he was to be found and brought up with much care and love. He also gets insulted because of his origin, and all in all the filmmaker expects you to embrace the character and pity him. Well, then maybe they should have tried a bit harder in actually making him less of an agressive maniac.

"I broke his arm and kicked his dog!" "So cute beta!"

Also, for a person constantly cribbing about how he doesn´t believe in relationships and gambles away, he becomes hell of a preacher (and „slapper“ of young girls) on moral codes when other people are not respectable towards their elders. Nothing about Salman´s character makes sense. The acting is awful from his part, and while the rest of the cast do whatever they can (the extremely lovely Divya Dutta sucks in this though), nobody saves the day.

The awful moaning of women being raped creates an eternal soundtrack to the villain´s den or even his mere presence on screen, showing his power of the underworld in the only form Bollywood knows – by inflicting injustice to women. One even more fondly remembers Mogambo who had it all sorted and though he was a highly caricatur-esque character in a comedy film, he still commanded more respect and caused you worries than any filthy pimp whom just one cleanly shaved guy can destroy by shaking his muscles.

In case you have not noticed this guy is evil, he has an ugly black mole to help you.

Perhaps you are confused why I have skipped describing the story, but there is not much to describe. Veergati is a diary of voes of a self-pitying agressor, who happens to be surrounded by people who never get angry with his annoying whining and abusive behaviour, and people who are just insane (yeah, still talking about the policeman´s wife). There is also a subplot revolving around the character of a friend, who is trying to raise money to get married to a wealthy girl he loves, but who cares really. In the end Ajay looses most of the people who are family to him (read: people who endless put up with his asshole ways), dresses into white sheets and goes on a vengeful killing spree mouthing some deep spiritual stuff in between increasing the death rate of the film.

Hello sir.

I have come to you to talk about our Lord Jesus Christ.

Neither well shot, scripted or acted, Veergati is more 80s than 90s, with all the darkness of bad cinema you can imagine under that tag, and a woman only having worth if she is a Maa.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

Directed by: Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra

Starring: Farhan Akhtar, Divya Dutta, Sonam Kapoor

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

A biopic and a sportsfilm – two genres that do not count among my favourites. Yet Bhaag Milkha Bhaag crosses the borders of both and becomes, above all else, a complete emotional ride – without a trace of emotional blackmail that often plagues biopics (and Bollywood movies in general). Based on the life of famous Indian athlete Milkha Singh the movie tells a story of much more than just amazing achievements in sport. It is, in its heart, a story of a person, of a character development and growth, that is influenced by trying times, big challenges and inner conflicts.

Touching on India/Pakistna partition, an issue quite sensitive even today, even drawing from it as the foundation stone of the whole plot, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag manages not to feel political at all (not to me at least). The struggle and tragedy which we learn about as the film progresses, is of a very deep personal nature. There is no propaganda for either side, just an attempt to convey the harsh reality of the time and event, a reality that thousands and millions have not yet made peace with. Milkha in the film doesn´t hold a grudge. He holds a pain. Some may think I cannot have emotional connection (being neither Indian nor Pakistani) with the story, but frankly a family being drawn away from their homes and even murdered is a concept that, unfortunately, my own country and even relatives are familiar with. Horrors brought upon population because of big political decisions, no matter whose and for what, are a daily occurrence since the dawn of time. Bhaag Milkha Bhaag is not putting blame, is not pointing fingers. Tragedy simply happens because of circumstances of its time, and the film is not about taking a revenge, but about facing the past – and ultimately forgiving and moving on.

Farhan Akhtar was really good and he deserves all the praise for all the immensely HARD work he put into the role. It is definitely his best so far and may be also the one with which he will go down to history. There was not a single second in which he wouldn´t be thoroughly believable. He owns the movie. As a case of exception confirming the rule the child actor playing young Milkha was extremely good too, carrying some of the most important scenes on his shoulders and breaking your heart. Divya Dutta as his doting, devoted elder sister is also perfect. Their on-screen relationship is by far the most intense and moving one. Sonam Kapoor may be the most „starry“ name among the cast, her screentime is extremely limited though. Being associated with the film still helped her position in the industry, previously rather questionable. She is back on the map for now and hopefully will continue to do good work. As a simple village girl Biro she is really sweet and looks very pretty, She is so easy to look at one doesn´t want her to open her mouth and ruin the effect, but to be fair she did well overal in this. Her bits and the ending are the best parts of the movie in fact.

If there is a flaw, then it is only a teensee complaint that it is too damn long. If it was at least 30 minutes shorter it would be more gripping. Then again when I think about it, I cannot really think of any scene as useless, waste of time, and if I was handed the editorial scissors I would end up in a complete dilemma. Everything has its place in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, everything seems essential to the story and character development. Perhaps the songs could have been done without, or be only incorporated into the background – the one in Australian bar was actually kinda awkward. So basically I was a bit bored during the first hour, but cannot think of much the film could have done without.

The story of „the Flying Sikh“ is inspiring both on professional and personal level. Sometimes facing ones pain is much harder then breaking records. But it should be done.  Because without forgiving there can be no healing.

Umrao Jaan

Directed by: J. P. Dutta

Starring: Aishwarya Rai, Abhishek Bachchan, Suniel Shetty, Shabana Azmi, Divya Dutta

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

A story of life of a courtesan transformed from literature into a film that indeed feels like a lifetime. That long and that tiring. And so much concerned about the visual part, about how overwhelmingly pretty everything has to look, that it forgets to bring out emotions, fails to invest the viewer into the heroine´s plight. And since that is essential for quite a non-happening story as the one of Umrao Jaan, the movie stands only for tedious wanna-be try at epicness.

Not much is added to the famous story of a girl kidnapped from her family and sold into a brothel, where she grows up into a stunning and talented tawaif, capturing attention and affection of Nawab Sultan. Even this time the love story is doomed. Compared to the 1981 version with Rekha (the comparisms are simply bound to happen) the story is actually even simpler (not a good decision), leaving out the sub-plots involving a fellow tawaif Bismilah, as well as Umrao´s flight from the brothel to live by herself, and sadly also one of the most bitter twists of a similarly kidnapped girl becoming Sultan´s wife. All we are left with are 3 hours of pining after Nawab and crying without end. Indeed, this Umrao Jaan is not much of a company to anyone except one guy.

Truth is that the whole film is really just a passionate love-affair with Aishwarya Rai´s face. Wintin every five minutes there would be a lingering close-up, obsessing about her eyes opening slowly, closing slowly or staring without a blink, and 80% of the time tears would be flowing from them. Indeed she looks stunning throughout, no matter if she is wearing a bejewelled outfit or a simple one, and to be fair her beauty is definitely not the only contributing factor she provides. Aishwarya suits these roles. The Devdas and Jodhaa Akbra ones. She suited this one as well and her performance, even though unnecessary teary, is among her better ones. Her dialogue delivery in this is very good. But still, the seemingly endless dialogues that sometimes last for five or even more minutes, make the viewer impatient and bored. The script and the way story is crafted doesn´t help Aishwarya to connect and invite the audience into her heart and soul, where we could possibly feel with her – something Rekha did so effortlessly in 1981.

While Aishwarya is let down by the script, but otherwise fits, her beloved Nawab Abhishek looks like he found himself on the sets by mistake. There is nothing even remotely regal or dignified about him, and overal his besotted lover act feels thanda. He and Aish make the cutest off-screen couple, but camera is not really nice to them when it comes to chemistry. The relationship seems a bit forced really, with hardly any base. On what did the love grow one has to wonder.

Suniel Shetty as fierce and mysterious Faizal Ali fares better. The character of Gohar Mirza, played back in the day by one and only Naseeruddin Shah, remains unmatched. The young man in this version doesn´t really have the sneakiness or cunningness, and his feelings for Umrao are – as many other things in this – very much simplified and he thus becomes a lot less important. Shabana Azmi and Divya Dutta both give good performances, which is, after all, expected of both of the talented ladies. Also Ayesha Jhulka, an almost forgotten heroine of the 90s, makes a brief appearnce and is lovely.

A big part of Umrao Jaan are the songs, however the film does not deliver in this department either. Apart from „Salaam“, all other melodies and lyrics blend into one, none stands out and all are forgettable. Picturization leaves a lot to be desired as well, that in spite of Aishwarya being a superb dancer. Choreography concentrates way too much on the hands and neglects the rest of the body (I am no expert, and even I can tell the choreographer did not really have much of an idea what to do), relying, like much of the film, on Aishwarya´s beauty to distract the viewer and detract the attention from anything that may not be good enough. Does this strategy work? To an extent. Mrs. Bachchan is more than easy on the eyes. Unfortunately in the end not even that is sufficient to save the film from sinking into oblivion of your mind, where it by all mean belongs.

Special 26

Directed by: Neeraj Pandey

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Anupam Kher, Manoj Bajpayee, Kajal Agarwal, Jimmy Shergil

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It is interesting to see how over the years we have abandoned the once so admired honest heroes armed with the flaming sword of justice and spotless shield of patriotism (as well as an A-Z dictionary of morals) for witty Robin Hoods, aka crooks and thieves taking from the rich (and not giving it to others). Stealing from greedy people is "right", but being greedy is not. It is acceptable that you are a thief if you only steal from nasty people. Be it Don, Chulbul Pandey or the gang of this film, we have learned to root for the bad guys. Who are not all that bad. Just outlaws. But still not bad. So steal away, kid, just make sure you steal from the right people. Or something like that I think. Makes my head spinning a bit.

Back in the old 80s (ironically enough the time of the spotless on-screen heroes in white shoes), a gang of several men make their living of crime – which is always the same. Posing as CBI or other government organization, they raid houses of rich people, whom we can suspect are most probably corrupted, and under a pretext of taking all the money and riches found to the authorities, they simply pack their own bags. And live happily until the need for more money and adrenaline lures them out of their homes to try again, some place else. However it seems their wit finally found a match on the opposite side of the law. An actual CBI officer Khan, with a help of a policeman, previously deceived by the gang, manages to locate one of them and through him also finds out details about their next target, which is to be non other than a huge jewelery shop in Mumbai. Will he manage to stop them? Will they outsmart him? Will the law win or will our crooked heroes will? My unfortunate ability to predict twists and turns proved functional yet again, though I dare say not everybody figured the missing piece of information out before it was actually revealed.

The film takes quite some time before actually taking off, and the plot perhaps could have been more elaborate, and one or two more twists would only ad some thrill and mystery (though after the twistingly twisty Race 2 even a dozen twists might seem too little). Maybe it would have been good to actually give more depth to the characters, who apparently all come from different backgrounds and have families and other bonds, but the sane viewer in me knows this would only slow down the story, that needed to be quick – in fact a lost quicker than it ultimately was.

The love track is one of the most useless ones ever, doesn´t even make anything for the ending. Kajal Agarwal hardly speaks in those four scenes she has, which is actually a plus because I can barely stand her. In any case seeing her with Akshay gave even Mr. Kumar away - he too is, much like his Khan and Devgn collegues, officially looking too old to romance anyone under 30 and pass off as younger than 40. On the bright side his performance was on the subtle side and very good. Hopefully we can see him in films like this and last years OMG more often. The acting stars of the film though are Anupam Kher and Manoj Bajpayee, both dominating the screen whenever they appear. Other supporting actors like Jimmy Shergil (sporting an unflattering moustache) and Divya Dutta (who is repeating one line throughout the film), are alright.

The settings of the 80s India are excellent, at times one truly wonders how in the world did they manage to recreate the Mumbai of that time so flawlessly and on such big scale. The camera work is good, and overall there is nothing to complain about when it comes to technical aspects. Special 26 is a good film, well told, well presented, well acted, well put together. Not brilliant, but good.

Heroine

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar

Starring: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Helen

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Rather tiring, though not without potential, Heroine wanted be a glimpse into the "real" dynamics of the "reel" world, but it doesn´t offer an engaging story. Comparing this work of Bhandarkar´s to Fashion is not in place at all. Fashion had tempo, drive, progressive storyline, more than one interesting character. It was a good film. Heroine on the other hand is a never ending depression without the taste of success and cannot boast of anything - with the exception of Kareena Kapoor. Not even the glamorous bit of what is Bollywood is shown. Parties seem boring, photoshoots unhappening and award shows on the scale of local school´s recitals. Not even well-costumed but badly choreographed Halkat Jawaani salvages that.

In a way Heroine is not about the film industry or uncovering its vices. I don´t think there is anything that would shock anybody at least a bit familiar with film world and tabloids. Affairs, manipulations, promotional strategies, drugs and alcohol - we have heard about it way too often to be shocked when presented that in a movie today. Heroine is rather like being locked inside Mahi Arora´s mind without a possibility of ever getting out. One cannot see beyond what Mahi is seeing, cannot think beyond what is going on in Mahi´s head at the moment. And since Mahi is way too obviously emotionally unstable and completely unsuitable for the profession she decided to pursue, one feels uneasy the whole time. Mahi´s minor ups are immediately becoming deep lows. In spite of the film being completely about her, it is extremely difficult to actually give a proper description of Mahi. There are too many things never told or even touched. Who is Mahi? Where did she come from? Why did she start to act? Why is she the person she is? 

Not even her relationships are explored, although they obviously are the most important thing for Mahi. Her mother makes few brief appearances, but we get nothing but some well-meant, yet unconvincing lecturing. We get a glimpse of Mahi´s psychiatrist, who actually gives her an important impulse, but she is lost in the next moment. Divya Dutta proves her versatility as painfully realistic and even ruthless PR, but again, she is completely sidelined. Mahi´s love affairs with two different men are presented in a very one-dimensional way. And there are other people and other relationships presented, but never looked back again. One in particular was wasted - with briefly appearing legendary Helen. There could have been so much to that particular relationship, especially considering the climax.

The beginning seems to be a middle of some other film, the ending is a huge huge let down. After everything Mahi (and the viewer) has been through, we only get 30 seconds of a dull hint that fame sucks when you cannot bear it. Truth is, that the feeling of disappointment is something one gets throughout the whole picture. So many opportunities up for grabs, hardly any taken. When I think about it, we never really even get to know how big star Mahi is. Is she at the top, up there with the greatest, or is she simply just another actress with few hits under her belt, but loosing her position as soon as she makes one wrong step? To me it actually seemed Mahi Arora was some show-piece B-grade starlet whom nobody would take seriously. We get to see few bitchy actresses whom she is pitted against in the race for a role, but there is hardly any sense of competition. In this, more than anything else, I was lovingly remembering Fashion, where the rat race among models was chilling and unmerciful and one could truly feel it.

Kareena Kapoor delivers a nearly flawless performance. She is not over the top, she is Mahi. And Mahi is mad. She is mental and desperate. Eager to learn, but continuously surprised that things don´t last. Occupied by herself and absorbed in herself, pathetically indecisive and not sure of what she wants. I was not sorry for Mahi. She was too unfit for what she was doing and brought most of the bad things upon herself without anybody´s help. At the same time Kareena definitely sends out genuine feelings and emotions. She is not artificial crying machine – something that could have easily happened had some other actress taken up the role. The supporting cast is fine, but without much impact, Arjun´s dialogue delivery was so extremely monotonous I could cry. It was lovely to see Helen. To sum it up Kareena Kapoor delivers, Madhur Bhandarkar does not.

Dangerous Ishq

Direction: Vikram Bhatt

Starring: Karishma Kapoor, Jimmy Shergil, Rajneesh Duggal, Divya Dutta, Gracy Singh

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I had severe reservations right from the moment I´ve heard the atrocious Hinglish title for the first time, but for the sake of Karishma Kapoor, whom I don´t see among the greatest of the great actresses, but still love her well enough for the intensity and experience she gave me with Zubeidaa and Fiza. And it was for her sake again that I managed to sit through the film, that turned out to be the two possibly longest hours of my life. I guess that seals her presence in the list of my favourites forever.

Karishma, looking stunning and not a day over twenty something (and better than many younger actresses), plays a supermodel Sanjana, whose really unattractive and absolutely non-leading-hero-material-ish boyfriend just got kidnapped, and since true love knows no bounds Sanjana plunges into the whirphool of thrilling situations that are not at all exciting, dangerous stunts and special effects that look like from a 90s gameboy, and enthralling past lives memories that are badly edited and badly placed. There is no shortage of some hardcore magic either – which however ultimately moves the film to a level of bad fairytales for adult people. On her search for her lover Sanjana starts seeing visions from her past life, and as it turns out few regression sessions later, her love life has always been totally screwed up by somebody else in all her births. Ultimately she finds out that once upon a time she refused a rich guy obsessed with her, and through some divine powers and abracadabra the whole ever repeating cycle of her lover (and herself) dying a violent death thanks to the refused guy started. Once she discovers the person in this birth, she finally can put an end to it.

Obesessed with me for centuries? I am flattered!

What needs to be appreciated is that whilst dealing with the ever-popular reincarnation theme, the film´s premise and the way the past lives are explored is definitely innovative. At the same time, sadly, none of them is presented well enough for us to connect with them – or the characters. All the timelines had great potential, and although the 16^th century one is generally agreed upon as being the „best one“ shown, I must say I was only really touched by the 1947 one, showing Karishma as a Rajastani girl on her fearful and futile flight from the awaiting death. Alas, it was criminally short, and all too soon I was thrown back into the dullest timeline of all – the present time one, which not only bored with the lack of good cinematography and cheap special effects, it also has Karishma being completely dull and without that intensity one associates her with. She seemed extremely half-hearted throughout. It doesn´t help that in many scenes she literally has nothing to do.

A temple? I thought it was a pizza man!

Jimmy Shergil and Divya Dutta did well, and I even dare say Divya was the show stealer in all the scenes she had. Others are not really worth a mention. The casting of the male characters was mostly wrong. I have already mentioned the main male lead being completely unfit for the part, not only because I personally find him difficult to look at, but because he and Karishma share zero chemistry. Dangerous Ishq was promoted as a female centric movie, but it is far from being one. If anything it had a great potential to be an epic love story (if everything from script to direction was handled better), but to feel a love story and root for a couple throughout a movie you need to feel their connection, and here there is nothing but more dull dialogues. It was interesting to catch a glimpse of once so promising Gracy Singh as Krishna´s worshipper Meera, a character shown a bit loony really, but not without a certain charm.

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU CAST THIS GUY AS A HERO?

And a girly complaint of mine – considering she was a supermodel, I expected to see some seriously awesome outfits, however on the costume level the film seemed terribly cheap. Music was good, very good actually, and could work as an album, it doesn´t seem appropriate for the movie though and the director let go of an opportunity to create some memorable picturizations, that possibly might have made us see some real feelings between the leading couple after all. The film was also released in 3D, something completely unnecessary and not bringing any betterment to the final product. I can´t see the point of it at all.

Dangerous Ishq remains a film of possibilities untaken, and would work better as a TV miniseries than a big screen picture. A movie about past life regression, that actually gave me a feeling that not the character, but I am in the past, lost somewhere at the point where Bollywood heroines were made to stand around screaming their boyfriend´s name while those fought valiantly against the villains.

Do not waste YOUR time with this film unless you love Karishma Kapoor.

Stanley Ka Dabba

Directed by: Amole Gupte

Starring: Partho Gupte, Divya Dutta, Amole Gupte

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There are huge, lavishly told stories that hardly touch you. And then there are little stories that go straight to your heart. Just like the rather unglamorously named Stanley Ka Dabba. You might just be surprised what all can be told and shared in a tale about somebody´s lunch tiffin. Or a lack of it, which is exactly the case of Stanley, an 8-years-old boy from Mumbai.

Stanley seems to be lucky enough. He is bright, full of original ideas (that unfortunately not always go down well with all the teachers), eager to learn. And yet he is not a typical nerd who would get rejected by the rest of his class. On the contrary – he is hugely popular among all his classmates. He also has a special place in a heart of his English teacher miss Rosy – and in return he has a huge childhood crush on her. However one of the teachers is constantly annoyed with Stanley.

Some boys have bruises from fights. Some boys are like Stanley.

„Khadoos“ as he is nicknamed, is more than for his Hindi lessons known for unashamedly eating the lunches of his students (and other teachers as well, just more respectfully). One brief sight of a nice, shiny, metal dabba (tiffin), one sniff of food, makes him loose control over his thoughts and actions. He does not care one bit for what his students must think, he devours all he can. And he is thus deeply bothered upon realizing one of the students never brings any food to school – Stanley. Nobody has ever seen Stanley´s own dabba. Instead the boy usually disappears during lunch time, saying he´s going home to eat, but instead he can be found in the bathroom, drinking water to deceive his own stomach...

It is the simplicity in which the story is told that makes the whole film so engaging. Almost a perfect picture of a childhood, but seen from point of view of someone who already has the pangs of growing up behind them. Yet it all stay innocent because innocence and mischievousness reflect in Stanley´s dark eyes. Partho Gupte is so incredibly natural in front of a camera one could easily believe he didn´t even know he was being filmed. It is rare for child actors to show so much feeling without being superficial. But Partho is not the only one to be praised in this matter, as all his friends are wonderful as well. Those little guys have talent. Moreover they beautiful „clicked“ together and their little group feels honestly genuine. It was refreshing to see a movie about friends who actually are not jealous of each other, it was nice to see children not being selfish. 

Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam Pyar Hota Hai Deewana Sanam!

The picture is complete with the characters of teachers – each being distinctively different from one another in their attitude towards pupils. Sweet and loving miss Rosy is in harsh contrast to strict and cold science teacher, and then there is of course Khadoos, who is a bit of both – just completely loosing it at the mere mention of food. His scenes with Partho are truly stirring a sadness. When he bans Stanley from going to school because he doesn´t have a dabba he could loot, he is naturally highly unlikeable. But once Stanley actually shows him who is the bigger person, you don´t feel any satisfaction, instead you pity Khadoos, because apparently, he has learned his lesson, and his change of heart is very much apparent.

Stanley Ka Dabba shows you a fragment of life of a boy, whose real story is actually quite larger and much much more sad. Yet it does not sadistically linger on Stanley´s true state of living (revealed at the very end only), nor it shows him as mentally and emotionally crippled by his living conditions. It is in the end a story of someone small, bit with big dreams and a big heart.

Need to mention the opening titles are clever, amusing and sad.

U, Me aur Hum

Directed by: Ajay Devgn
Starring: Ajay Devgn, Kajol, Divya Dutta, Sumeet Raghavan
Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Though we can doubt Ajay Devgn´s good taste when it comes to atrocious Hinglish title (which could very easily turn into a nice Mein, Tum aur Hum), his ambition to stamp his authority on all branches of cinema is nothing to be dismissed easily. U Me aur Hum is a proof of this. From direction, to acting as the male lead, scripting the story and production he has the power over all, the film apparently being a cherished baby of his. However though giving it absolutely all (including his own wife), this off-spring does not turn out what the parent has once imagined.

It all starts highly simply. Ajay meets Piya (Kajol) on a lavish sea cruise and it is a love at first sight for him, while she finds him kinda creepy. To win her over Ajay chooses one of the safest ways – he reads her scrapbook/diary and immediately takes advantage of knowing her preferences – without being told. And isn´t every girl´s dream to find a guy who can read your every wish in your eyes? So Ajay turns a dog-lover, a dance champion and many others things in mere days, in spite of never being a single of those things before boarding the ship. But his love is true, you see, and finally he confesses to his deed to Piya, who is naturally very disappointed and asks him to leave. He does, but makes her promise to think about their relationship and leaves her his phone number. It takes some time, but because this is a love story movie she of course calls. And they get married. Just like that. Ther life could not be more happy actually. True, Piya gets rather forgetful, but otherwise nothing spoils the joy, especially when she gets pregnant.

"I luv uuuuuu!"

"Creepy is the new sexy."

But what if a mere forgetful was to turn out to be an a slowly advancing Alzheimer? Because that actually is what her occasional, but still more frequent and serious blank outs of memory are. And even thought you have suspected nothing something is wrong, this definitely comes as a nasty surprise. Up until that moment a highly boring film speeds up and I had to witness Kajol forgetting the most basic things. That she is married. That she is pregnant. That she has given birth. That her baby in in the tub full of water!!! Her black outs get more and more serious and scary as the disease is rapidly progressing. And there is more uneasy to watch stuff in store. Ajay suffering. Ajay admitting his wife into a medical center. Ajay wanting to take her home again. Kajol screaming. Kajol screeching. Kajol crying. Ajay weeping. You can be 100 % sure you shall feel next to physically sick by the end of the film – that ironically (and illogically) returns to the blissful pinky coloured mood of the beginning.

To watch this woman loosing her mind at times was just too painful.

More then sad I found the movie incredibly disturbing, and that in a very unpleasant manner. The great performances by both Ajay and Kajol, and equally as great Divya Dutta and Sumeet Raghavan in supporting roles, nothing could justify for me the terrible pointlessness of the suffering described. Don´t get me wrong - I think they did a very good job portraying such a serious illness (though I´m sure some of it was not really accurate), but at times it was all just way too much - especially since the only possible message (of not leaving your loved ones alone when they need you) was rather too subtle and came too late in the film. Several times I considered not finishing the movie not because it would be bad, but because I felt sick watching it. The absolutely unbearable scene is the near drowning child and even though it´s clear the kid survives I could not watch that.

Chalo darling. You have Alzhemeir so let´s admit you into.... an aquarium!

Music was terrible, no plus points there, and the background score during the first hour was annoying.

Performances deserve a high rating, but I could not enjoy this film and I´m sure I don´t want to see it ever again. „Sometimes the greatest journey is the distance of all people“ claims the official motto. And sometimes the greatest distance is between beginning of the film to its end.

Aaja Nachle

Directed by: Anil Mehta

Starring: Madhuri Dixit, Konkona Sen Sharma, Kunal Kapoor, Vinay Pathak, Irffan Khan, Divya Dutta, Ranvir Shorey, Akshaye Khanna

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There are things in this world that my brain simply cannot understand. Maths is one of them. I simply don´t get it. Or why every time I think I´m alone and can sing using a comb as a microphone, somebody just has to turn up. Or why did Aaja Nachle had so little success in India. That film had everything you could ask for. A perfect entertainer. It never promised to be anything else. And it worked. It worked great. So..... what exactly went wrong? The truth is that overseas Aaja Nachle did well, even became hit in Canada, and it seems it will be one of those unsuccessful movies, that will stand the test of time nontheless, after all it is one of the most sought out DVDs.

Madhuri Dixit is back was screaming the trailer. And the same thing decorated all the posters. After Devdas in 2002 Madhuri settled permanently in the US with her husband and gave birth to two boys, and Aaja Nachle was her „comeback“ vehicle. It is actually interesting to see parallels between Madhuri´s real life and the film story she has chosen to do after the hiatus.

I´m back and my smile is more gorgeous than ever!

New York is full of NRIs. Forget for a moment there are Saif and Preity running around somewhere while Shahrukh is singing Kal Ho Naa Ho, and focus on a certain dance studio. It belongs to Diya, who teaches others to dance. She is divorced, raising a daughter, and overally quite satisfied with her life. But then a call from India comes and it seems that the man who once taught her to dance (and live, as we come to know a bit later) is on his deathbed. Without a second though Diya packs her things and together with her child catches the next plane to India, uncertain of what she might find. Because eleven years ago, she secretly run away from her native, sleepy and dusty little town of Shamli, following her heart and an American man, who had promised to love her forever (yadda yadda yadda...... sometimes watching Hindi films doesn´t help in life). Her parents were forced to leave the town in embarassement, her fiancé suffered a heavy heart-break, her guru (largely blamed for seeding that silly stubborness and independence in her) ostracised and her name became a synonym of shame.

Upon her arrival Diya finds out her guru has just passed away, and left her a mission: to save Ajanta theater, a place that once was full of life, dance, songs, and was pretty much the only source of entertainment for the locals. But ever since Diya has run away, Ajanta remained empty, because other parents did not want their children to „be another Diya“. And now the old theater is to be demolished to make place for a new shopping mall (globalization, here we come!). Deeply disturbed Diya pleads (well, if you want to call it like that, because she is a rather tough cookie) with local MP Rajasaab, but he refuses to stop the demolition. However he is amused (and she outraged) and they make a deal. If in two months Diya manages to pull off a theatrical performance starring the local people, and will gain success from the audience, Ajanta will remain untouched. If not, it will be torn down. Diya is full of optimism, but it turns out her bad reputation is still too well known in the city, plus there seems to be not one talented person, whom she could use in her planned adaptation of Laila-Majnu...

Just what did I want to say...?

Oh yeah. It´s cool to have five fingers.

Sure she´s going to win in the end, against all odds. After all...... this is Madhuri Dixit we are talking about! And the villains are made of vanilla, especially the „bad guy“ Raja. None of the characters is primarily bad or evil. They just usually suffer from some shortcoming. One lusts power, other lusts money, and another lusts Madhuri (though that is not a shortcoming, that means he is a normal guy). There are many characters in Aaja Nachle, and you cannot help but to love them all. The main romantic subplot is happening between Konkona Sen Sharma in the role of a tomboy Anokhi and a goon Kunal Kapoor as Imran, and they both are excellent. Their chemistry is beautiful to watch and they compliment each other well, be it in acting or looks. Their jodi is one of my favourites, and I´m keeping a faint hope of seeing them again sometime in the future. They both go through a change. While Imran realizes that even strong macho guys can sing, dance, love and not be embarrased, Anokhi realizes that she doesn´t have to change inside to get her boy, but one should look after herself a bit, and she too matures, seeing that love just may not be a kid´s game. Especially Konkona was wonderful, very vivacious and full of energy, absolutely unashamed in her deglamorized avatar.

Original

Makeover no. 1 - not working.

Makeover no 2 . - hell YEAH!!

Don´t you ever dare to say again that Koko is not stunning.

Then we have other loveable people out there. I´m a big Vinay Pathak fan, and he simply delivers quality in Aaja Nachle, as a nerdy, boring husband, who realizes his wife just might not be that hapy with him. There is excellent Ranvir Shorey, demure and devoted and still dreaming of getting married to Diya. There is Divya Dutta as opressed woman of a big businessman, who simply wants to dance and feel alive again. And others.... and others......

And there is Madhuri. No, the role was not a challenging drama, that would prove her acting ability. Why should it be so, in the first place? This is a woman who proved herself countless times. She didn´t make this film to prove to others how amazing she is. She did it, because she liked it. She did it for her fans. And she did it, because she wanted to do, what she does best: entertain and make you forget everything else for a moment. Even in this „non-challenging“ role she is brilliant. Her screen presence remained undiminished, her dialogue delivery and expression perfect, her dancing ability made everyone go wow all over again. Not to mention she was a heroine without a hero, carried the film on her shoulders. Although there is Akshaye Khanna as a possible love interest (and my, do they have amazing chemistry!), his is only a guest appearance and Diya´s lovelife is not even remotely the plot of the movie. That is theater, dance, culture, tradition. And it is all fun and beautiful.

Mohan living his dream..... in his dream.

She smiled at me!

AT MEEEE!!!!!

The real gem of Aaja Nachle is the 20 minutes long play at the end. The legend of Laila and Majnu has been presented in a very short span of time, and visually it´s just wonderful. People kept complaining about the unrealisticly quick changing of the sets, but did any of them try to think? The play in „real“ must have been at leas 2 hours long. What we saw were only 20 minutes of it. Are you following me? Why didn´t anyone complain about the same thing in Om Shanti Om during the song Dastaan? In the end Aaja Nachle is a only film and some liberties were taken. So what? Did Salman flying over the roofs in Dabangg look realistic? Did Aamir Khan delivering a baby with a vacuum cleaner look realistic? Why they can allow to be unrealistic and Madhuri cannot? Aaja Nachle is in fact much more realistic then many hit films.

Madhuri and the most dysfunctional theater company

Some complaints against the story could have been very easily silenced, had the deleted scenes stayed in the movie. Because from those we learn that Diya is planning a big Broadway musical (hence obviously has considerable income plus knows how to do a producer´s job of getting money for a project), that she in the end finds her parents (hence its clear she indeed was looking for them) etc etc.... Agreed, it doesn´t make sense why her daughter has a strong Indian accent, and she also can be a bit annoying. Yes, it is weird that the policeman learns the whole role in mere minutes. It is also weird how all the extras learned their roles so well, since we have seen very little of their rehearsals......

The music was amazing. One of my favourite soundtracks, and definitely underrated. True the „Dance with me“ track leaves even me cold, but it only appears in the film to set the mood, introduce the character of Diya, and to show you Madhuri can do anything on the dance floor. O Re Piya, arguably the best track from the album, occupies a powerful spot among my most favourite Hindi songs. Aaja Nachle is already a legendary dance number (great job by Vaibhavi Merchant) and the song is very popular. And the Laila-Majnu music is wonderful, capturing and „decorating“ the narration perfectly.

What you cannot take away from Aaja Nachle is amazing use of colours.

Whenever I hear about Laila-Majnu story, this is what I remember.

 

 

Aaja Nachle did not deserve to be an all-time blockbuster. But it definitely deserved to be a hit. Performances were amazing, music wonderful, choreography great, story nice, cinematography beautiful, direction very able. And there was that lovely feeling that makes you happy, while you watch (something the post-2005 films largely lack). A perfect, bit fluffy, very much colourful entertainer with a message, that despite globalization, which is not all that bad and to an extent necessary, it is still important not to let go of your roots and to preserve what the ancestors preserved for centuries. Maybe it didn´t sink in well with traditional Indians, since the heroine was somebody who did not hesitate to run away from an arranged marriage, and now is divorced, single-mother, successful and obviously not in desperate need for a man. I don´t know. As I said, it´s on of the things on this earth that remains mystery to me.