Krrish franchise

Koi... Mil Gaya

Directed by: Rakesh Roshan

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Preity Zinta, Rekha

Released: 2003

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

First of three movie that now create a franchise, Koi Mil Gaya is a shameless rip off of extremely popular E.T., in more ways than one. Is anyone surprised that even music is lifted from other films? I was really annoyed when I recognized two of my favourite soundtracks – the Neverending story and yes, they even DARED to touch the Lord of the Rings – and I assure you I am not mistaken as I know that music by heart. Koi Mil Gaya is a film for kids (even though adults can enjoy it as well), and as such it manages to hit the mark. However even as a film for kids it is not too spectacular, especially not in the special effect department. The little blue creeper Jadoo has nothing on likeability of E.T., and looks just way too puppet-ish for anyone to think he is real for a second. The film is worth watching for Hrithik Roshan, who delivers his possibly best performance ever. The level of vulnerability, innocence and sincere emotions he projects is amazing, and that too in a role which is a far cry from macho heroes Bollywood thrives on. His pairing with Preity Zinta is cute, and the actress looks just lovely. Rekha, of course, is one of the most natural actresses ever. I love her in just about anything and everything, so this was no exception. Out of all three films this one has the biggest heart.

Krrish

Directed by: Rakesh Roshan

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Priyanka Chopra, Rekha

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Papa Roshan has decided to boost his son´s career a bit more, again with something new and unusual (and inspired) and what better (read: easier) way to do that than creating a sequel to a successful movie? And so Krrish was born, Preity Zinta killed off and Priyanka Chopra brought on board – as not really worthy a replacement (though she looked stunning, she was just kinda annoying silly gal in this). Yet again, the film needs to be watched through children´s eyes and the romantic track needed to be shorter. Performances are fine, but both Hrithik and Priyanka are owned by their older co-stars – apart from Rekha we also meet the very awesome Naseeruddin Shah as the main villain. Unfortunately somewhere down the line one was grieving that loveable, childish, simple Rohit from Koi Mil Gaya was replaced by his „son“, brooding Jesus-on-steroids Krishna. That said Hrithik has a perfect image to be a superhero. For adult people and teenagers Krrish doesn´t really work as a film of particular interest, for children it is almost perfect. I personally, though with long pauses in between, quite enjoyed it.

Krrish 3

Directed by: Rakesh Roshan

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Priyanka Chopra, Vivek Oberoi, Kangana Ranaut

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Last (at least for now) instalment of the franchise has raised many eyebrows with its title. Krrish „3“? Did we miss Krrish „2“? Then again numbers do not seem a strong point of Papa Roshan, as we could see during the BO collections aftermath. I was not kind to the idea of the movie, given the previous one was nothing earth-shattering, and the promos very lackluster, the songs just pathetic, reminding one of an outdated 90s films. And after the release I was very put off by all the boasting from various people, mostly Vivek Oberoi, about their own greatness (you do NOT compare yourself to Mogambo and have me nodding in agreement). So I was very sceptical about this venture when I hit the play button and very surprised to find out.... Krrish 3 is a good film. Miles ahead of its predecessor (though sentimental me still prefers Koi Mil Gaya), it has a good enough story to keep you interested and the pace is good throughout. There are moments that are just not needed and overdone (because saving an old grumpy man would simply not play on our heart-strings like saving a cute baby), some of the action scenes are just weird (I kept singing Cause baby you make me tongue-tieeeeed, tongue tiiied...... in my head through the weirdest one – and btw how unhygienic it all was!) and AGAIN, ironically, the special effects look average. What I couldn´t grasp was the fact nobody, including Kangana´s character, realized Krishna is Krrish. The dude is not acting super secretive while in his costume – he sits down with everyone and chats (and apparently has a box of spare bracelets to give out for free) after all. The dude has green eyes and six fingers and nobody suspects anything? Not even when they are capable of making his statue and have his IDENTICAL father reveal it? Sorry, I am not buying that.

Vivek Oberoi as Kaal is impressive – at least up until the moment he decides to wear a seriously embarrassing armour, and so is Kangana Ranaut as a mutant. I suppose when she is forced to be subtle, she can really be great. Her change of heart was not too well explored, but it was sufficient still. Priyanka is better than the last time, but she really is „just there“. The role was not demanding at all. Coming to Hrithik Roshan, this time we do not have to make a choice between Rohit and Krrishna as we get them both. And Hrithik delivers as both – this time actually a lil more as Krrishna. Not a Best Actor award winning performance, but solid enough to be regarded as one of the better ones this year.

Ishkq in Paris

Directed by: Prem Raj

Starring: Preity Zinta, Rhehan Malliek, Isabelle Adjani

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Madhuri´s Aaja Nachle may not have done well, but it was a good film. Sridevi´s English Vinglish was, of course, wonderful. Nobody has ever seen Raveena Tandon´s comeback film, but I hear it was critically acclaimed. Karishma Kapoor´s Dangerous Ishq last year was only dangerous to good taste, but she is now defeated in the „worst comeback film possible“ category by Preity Zinta. At least Karishma was offered the film and somebody else paid for it. At least as a basic story Dangerous Ishq was promising. Neither can be said about Ishkq in Paris, a film that may just be the definition of „useless“ from now on. Imagine the most simple cliché for a „modern“ love story. Add nothing creative, original, or – God forbid – unexpected. There. You have Ishkq in Paris.

And as a bonus you have Chunky Pandey. Like what could possibly go wrong.

Meeting on a train through Europe, two free thinking individuals bump into each other. A businesman Akash and a photographer Ishkq then decide to spend an evening in Paris together, just to part ways in the morning and never to see each other again. No baggage, no emotional bonding. Just fun. No sex, btw. By „fun“ they mean sitting in restaurants and riding carroussels. And then they part. But Akash cannot forget the completely inappropriately dressed-in-clothes-I-would-slap-my-teen-daughter-for-wearing Ishkq and when an excuse comes up he breaks his promise of not meeting her ever again, stalks her down and within days they are both in love. However Ishkq still has issues, because once upon a time her parents split up, which means she does not believe in marriage (because obviously all couples break up and leave each other and no relationship deserves a chance). But then she changes her mind, after her mum tells her, daddy did not leave, they agreed on living apart. And because that completely changes everything, Ishkq catches up with Akash and next thing you know they are in India getting married. The end.

The story is just ordinary, lazy and painfully boring. With no real twists and no real depth. And no point. True, sometimes simplicity is the key to charm, but there is different between simple and just boring. The film has little over 2 hours, yet it feels like a small eternity. The visuals could have been better and the songs also do not add to the entertainment value (no matter how much of Salman Khan you stuff into it). The two main leads have no chemistry and look mismatched, and the biggest fun you have with them is while trying to guess who is wearing more make-up.

Rhehan Malliek does not deserve a second thought. He doesn´t stay in mind and does not impress. Preity, unfortunately, does not fare much better. Of course one cannot expect her to be the fresh girl interested in Shahrukh Khan´s virginity from Dil Se, and it has been some time since cute, if rather boring Zaara, but Preity Zinta from Ishkq in Paris seems a completely different person. Badly styled, she looks even older than she actually is (and the very much obvious plastic surgery makes things worse). She is supposed to be under 30 in the film, I gather, but everything she looks is nearly desperate and not convincing. Much like SRK in Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Preity in this one should have just embraced her age, and perhaps turn it all into a more mature love story.

Isabelle Adjani, an acting LEGEND of French and world cinema, is given a raw deal. I cannot phantom what made her give her a nod to the film (maybe Shekar Kapoor, making a blink and miss cameo near the end?). In any case, apart from having nothing to do, she also gives a very awkward performance, being dubbed into Hindi all the way through. And her plastic surgeries make her, ironically, looking younger than Preity. But for me she is forever the ill-fated La Reine Margot, splendid, wonderful, timeless.  

Dil Chahta Hai

Directed by: Farhan Akhtar

Starring: Aamir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna, Preity Zinta, Dimple Kapadia, Sonali Kulkarni, Ayub Khan

Released: 2001

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Searching for some background information about this film I came to know that it has achieved a cult status. Objectively speaking – no wonder. The movie captures the sensitive period of coming of age, when young men (because they hardly are boys anymore) become „full men“. Three distinctly different characters taking three different paths. True enough – Aamir Khan in the lead is filthy rich and with opportunities hardly anyone in society has, still there are traits to him and his friends that the audience could connect with and find themselves in.

Akash, Sameer and Siddhart are best of friends, who just graduated and find themselves in front of the age old question: What now? Akash seems quite comfortable lazying around, Sid would like to pursue a career as a painter and artist, and Sameer dreams of nothing else but a perfect romantic relationship. Their dosti only suffers a critical wound when Sid falls in love – and that with a woman who is not only 15 years older to him, but also is divorced, has a daughter and serious problems with drinking. All that notwithstanding Sid finds in Tara somebody he can share everything with, even ideas, feelings and thoughts that he kept secret even from Akash and Sameer. However when Akash learns about the way Sid feels, he insults both Tara and Sid´s feelings for her in his ignorance. Rift is created, Sid leaves the city for further studies, Akash flies to Australia to manage family business and Sammer is left behind, without friends, and in love with a girl, who loves somebody else.

At this point one story divides into three, that only come together at the end, just like old friends, who finally realize they mistakes and find strength to forgive and ask forgiveness. Aamir Khan gets the biggest scope with his story, that sadly is the least engaging of the three. Akash is yet another Bollywood hero who doesn´t really believe in love, and so of course he bumps right into Shalini (fresh-faced and clear-eyed and all kinds of cute Preity Zinta), which naturally leads to him falling head over heels with her, althoug for some times he doesn´t realize it. And then there is the problem with her already being engaged. Sameer is completely sidelined, as his pursuing Pooja (Sonali Kulkarni), is not meeting with a success for a while, but all´s well that ends well. His bit of the film is a sweet romantic comedy. Sid´s story turns all sad and melancholic, because Tara refuses to accept his love, too scared of consequences, and Sid doesn´t find support even with his family. Ultimately his first love takes course to a tragic ending....

Aamir Khan gives his standart performance – reliable, good, nothing amazing. Ironically he looks less of a student than what he did several years later in 3 Idiots, and the whole time I just wanted to grab a razor and shave off that horrible thing from his chin. Saif Ali Khan reminded me of a cute puppy in this, always just hoping for everyone around him to be content and happy. The best performance of the three though is given by Akshaye as quiet painter, who knows too well his feelings will be questioned, judged and condemned. As for ladies – Sonali Kulkarni is hardly worth a mention, while Preity Zinta pulls off one of the bubbly roles she became famous for, looking very lovely throughout, and Dimple Kapadia impresses as Tara, a woman who has seen the worse sides of life. There is depth to her, and in consequence also to her relationship with younger man. That storyline, rather daring and unusual, deserved a way more space than Aamir/Preity love frolicking in Australia.

Dil Chahta Hai is a pleasant film – about friendship more than anything else. It is not the best one on that theme, but one of the best of the past decade for sure.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

Directed by: Karan Johar

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Abhishek Bachchan, Preity Zinta, Amitabh Bachchan, Kirron Kher

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I will never really understand where did my courage to watch Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna come from. Till this day I have not been able to overcome the outrage and hate that both have come over me after watching Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Ghum, which I consider the worst film I´ve ever seen. I guess it was only my devotion to Shahrukh Khan and my wish to know his complete body of work, combined with being naturally curious what is all the fuss about, that made me watch KANK. After 15 minutes I already knew I was going to suffer.

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is basically a story about two people whose personalities suck big time and that not as much because of the circumstances but because they choose to. Shahrukh as Dev is an arrogant, selfish and most of all self-pitying brat with no respect whatsoever. Once he was a famous football player but after being hit by a car his career was over and he is limping ever since. Sure, something like that could make anyone deeply depressed, but Dev, rather than trying to move on and be useful, decides to sulk for years, blaming the whole world and mentally terrorizing his little son (I was just waiting for the kid to be hospitalized as mentally unstable and crippled for life). I don´t think I ever disliked any Shahrukh´s character as much. Even when he played an evil person like in Anjaam or Don, there was something you could admire or at least appreciate (even though what they do is wrong). But Dev is just a disgusting piece of existence, giving nothing to anyone, being jealous of his wife´s (Preity) success and destroying every moment of peace for everybody around. I am no fan of perfectly flawless characters , I like it when they are human with flaws, but there is limit to everything. Maybe it was my utter dislike for the character, but either not even Shahrukh´s acting could have make me like Dev or even Shahrukh was just bad in this. Based on my opinion that except for My Name Is Khan Karan Johar has always managed to bring out the worst out of him, I sadly tend to believe the second option.

Herodes could learn how to treat kids from Dev....

Rani as Maya is not an inspiring person either. Also wallowing in self-pity she is pushing away any chance of being happy with her husband Rishi (Abhishek). The film tried to present her as being oh so poor a soul because she does not feel romantic love for Rishi, but I only wanted to scream at her for being such a life-ruiner. Rishi is a husband of dreams really. He copes up with everything she does or says without a complaint. He is incredibly giving. And she apparently doesn´t give a damn. In this sense she is same as Dev. They both obviously LOVE being miserable and they LOVE to blame others for it. HOW in the world am I supposed to be their fan or even feel for them? Impossible!

Let´s just behave like a total ass so I can embarass my partner and pity myself even more.

In a very apparent plot twist these two fall in love and start having a secret affair consisting mainly of getting drenched in the rain and singing songs in imaginary sorrounding Karan Johar style. Up until of course they are caught..... and they separate.... and they are oh so noble now and want to save their marriages.... and they end up together of course after one of the most teary, excruciating and longest climaxes ever. By that point I was already skipping whole minutes, completely worn out by all that crap I had managed to sit through. I was not interested AT ALL in what Dev and Maya were through.

One of the greatest sore spots in the film also remains Amitabh Bachchan in his possibly most cringe worthy role ever – Sexy Sam – out of whose hangover he is suffering till this day. Instead of cool he was sleazy and his part in the story was completely unnecessary. I guess his parts of the film were supposed to be mostly fun, but this intention fails completely.

Hi! I´m Sexy Sam. Embarassment of the decade.

The saving graces are performances by Preity Zinta and Abhishek Bachchan. In other circumstances I would always choose Rani and Shahrukh over them, but not here. Theirs were the bits I enjoyed and the best scene of them all has to be Preity slapping Shahrukh after finding out the truth.

KANK fails. In basically every department. I am nobody to preach about fidelity between husband and wife (though yeah, I believe in the concept) and I can see why many marriages fail. I am not saying two people HAVE TO live with each other if they are so very unhappy. However the way infidelity is presented in this movie makes it all seem actually right and legit. There are other films that deal with the same issue and yet they manage to show all the involved people as likeable humans with reasons of their own, like Yash Chopra´s Silsila or most recently Imtiaz Ali´s Rockstar, but Karan Johar, skilled with pouring glycerine but completely clueless about real feelings makes it all one great mess where you hate the hero, you hate the heroine and you hate their love story. And you definitely hate Sexy Sam.