Mann

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Aamir Khan, Manisha Koirala, Anil Kapoor, Sharmila Tagore

Released: 1999

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I sincerely, honestly believe that the ONLY thing that ever made indra Kumar´s films work was Madhuri Dixit. Apart from Dil, which I consider a good film, even if flawed, Beta and Raja were only bearable because of her awesomeness and talent, and everything after that I have seen of his work just plain sucks. Mann is no different.

I write poetry in my spare time. Love me.

There is so much wrong with the plot! A severely mopy Sati Savitri Manisha falls in love with a cheater and a liar because he loves his grandmom. Because him being able to appreciate the old lady equals, in Manisha´s eyes, to being a good person. In fact, the character played by Aamir Khan is repulsive, unlikeable asshole and womanizer, who enjoys being creepy. The lengths he goes to while „wooing“ women would get him a restraining order in real life. Yet she falls in love with him, is jealous of girls he pays attention to, even though she has rejected him before. By the time the movie reached the interval I was ripping my hair out of frustration and sheer disbelief. Then the asshole-ish hero turns good and full of izzat overnight. How am I supposed to buy that?

"What the..."

"Do I turn you on?"

"Totally!"

In the second half of the film we are served a completely different story. That of selfless love and that you should look around before crossing the road. Manisha´s face is all swollen throughout and her glycerin-tears-stained cheeks can only be equaled by Jaya Bachchan´s from Kabhi Khusi Kabhi Ghum. Because our heroine lost both her legs! From extreme „hilarity“ the movie sinks into extreme depression, and everything is so theatrical you just wonder what has the director do to make all these good actors act so terribly. 

So hot.

I was irked by so many things in the story, but the greatest outrage was perhaps when Manisha admits to the headmistress of the orphanage (where she had grown up) that she doesn´t want to marry the cheerful and genuinely nice Anil Kapoor (whom I did not expect in the least to show up), because she loves the womanizing stalker. She is then lectured on how she has no right whatsoever to follow her heart and be actually honest with her fiancé, because, you know, there is a chance he just might turn into a lunatic and go crazy because of that. And also: certainly, if she dares to refuse him, nobody will ever marry a girl from an orphanage again. Like WTF.

"Was my moustache not pervy enough for you, biatch?"

Aamir Khan is at his annoying worst (I think I read he regretted doing the film? It would definitely make sense.) Manisha looks disturbingly ill, I had to wonder whether she had some issues with her health off screen. Comedy has never been her forte, and her tragedy is too overdone in this. Anil Kapoor comes and goes, with the only sane character to play, but being himself more than anything. Sharmila Tagore cast as Aamir Khan´s grandmother felt so wrong! The fabulous actress, who was in her fifties at the time, is unrecognizable under a deck up of at least 80 year old woman, who appears very briefly only to pile on some more depression by dying in the second half.

"I am a Cinderella waiting for a Prince."

"But when he brings a shoe he won´t recognize you since you have no legs now."

"You lil shit!"

Logic has never really had place in Indra Kumar´s universe, while annoying over the top comedy thrived. Mann, which also stole a song or two from vintage European hits (here is one and here is another) is a confused movie trying to go from comedy into a tragic romance, much like Dil, but comedy is lame and tragic romance frustrating. The first half, made up of every wrong cliché, made me uncomfortable, the second half with its mopier than mopy ridiculousness made me roll my eyes till they almost stuck on the other part of my head.

"Good luck and break a leg, like you broke my heart."

(note on captions: Sorry for lame jokes. I don´t  mind Anil´s stache. The Cinderella comment was indeed made in the film. Except the ending. Of course.)

Race 2

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, John Abraham, Jacqueline Fernandez, Deepika Padukone, Aditya Pancholi, Anil Kapoor, Ameesha Patel

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It´s all bigger than the last time. Our „players“ are unimaginably more rich. Our babes are even more sexy. Our cars are even faster. And our plotholes even dumber. First Race was a decent flick, but definitely not in a need of a sequel. I must sheepishly admit I ended up far from hating this one, in spite of all its shortcomings. I blame it on the fact I was busy with a family celebration for a few days and then just collapsed in front of my laptop, wearied by loud uncles and criticizing aunties, and was just happy I could switch my brain off and watch some moneywalas pretend to be serious about something that kinda resembled a story. While the first Race was ultimately a story of two brothers and their endless rivalry, Race 2, though not short of numerous twists and turns, doesn´t really care about creating an interesting plot, that would back up what was happening.

Last time we saw the hero Ranveer Singh he was speeding away into the sunset with his lover Sonia, but now, as we are told, „they are no longer together“. Instead Ranveer cleverly cons a (seemingly) random casino owner, leaving him penniless, and gaining (seemingly) trust of Armaan Malik, a guy who has so much money he can buy a small island every week and has a palace with so many room he wouldn´t be able to even see them with his own eyes in more than ten years and probably has a unicorn pooping a rainbow on his backyard as well. As you could have guessed he did not earn this quite legally (but how is never answered, because obviously even hinting how a common street fighter managed to earn as much money is a waste of precious time, that can be spent on capturing somebody´s butt, that is to be blurred from the screen anyway), and he runs his Empire with help of stunning step-sister Alina and girlfriend Omisha. 

"I´ll never let you go!............ LOL just kiding."

But why does Ranveer bother befriending him? Oh yes, Armaan is the one who ordered that Sonia would be killed (remember that not at all subtle hint on „they are no longer together“?). That´s right, Ranveer Singh, this time, play for revenge!

Twists and turns, though plentiful, are not nearly as shocking as in the first film. Mainly because that´s what you expect – that nobody is actually honest. You also simply know Saif is going to win the „game“, so you don´t feel worried when he drinks „poison“ 30 minutes before the film´s end. Loopholes are for everyone to see, from a professional killer who instead of simply shooting Saif decides to abandon his weapon and experience ten paagal minutes of an insane chase only to be killed himself to completely dumb nuns and guards of the Shroud of Turin (hopefully the real guards are not as stupid).

As many have said already, Race 2 is all style and no substance. Computer effects look like something made 20 years ago and most of the action in the finale will give you a good laugh instead of „wowing“ you (yep, I´m talking about the flying wonder car).

Whooo hooo! I want one!

All the actors are actually also all style and no substance in this. Saif churns out a decent performance, but his Ranveer has no real competitor that would elevate him among a truly interesting characters. Akshaye Khanna is badly missed, because John Abraham does not have it in him to convince you he is menacing, scary or witty. He pretty much sucks in this, the highlight worth mention is his really brutal fight in the ring. At first it seemed Jacqueline Fernandez would steal the show, but as the film progressed she kinda vanished. Meh. Deepika Padukone has next to no role. Those 15 minutes she gets show how she improved her dialogue delivery in the past year and also that she is damn stunning, but this is not a film anyone will remember for her or rememeber her for.

Person who doesn´t have much to do is also Aditya Pancholi, then again his was only a cameo, and unlike Johnny boy his mere presence can make you shiver as if you indeed foudn yourself in presence of a dangerous mafia boss.

The greatest mistake of the film, loopholes and shallow characters notwithstanding, was including Anil Kapoor´s character from the first film in this. Even in the first movie Anil was just horrible and needless, and it is even more so now. Super annoying Sameera Reddy disappeared, but just as annoying Ameesha Patel steps in – and Anil and her reprise the EXACT same thing we have seen, with NO difference whatsoever. Just the jokes are more crude and disgusting.

And seriously - who insisted on having this in the film? (since you can´t even show it?)

Race 2 is a film you don´t need to see, even if you are a fan of any of the actors involved. It is not a downright „bad“ movie, since it definitely has a potential to entertain (I am a proof of this). It has a rather good pace, great cinematography and even unintentionally hilarious stuff can actually be counted as a plus point. One of those flicks for the undemanding.

Race

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Sameera Reddy

Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

With the upcoming Race two in the pipeline I decided to watch the first film, to see if I my expectations for the sequel should be high or low or even in existence, and also to understand the probable references to the first film should there be any (yes, in spite of knowing Bollywood sequels are rarely sequels at al.... more like an alternative reality story for the same characters, when nothing what we have seen actually happened).

Ranveer (Saif) and Rajeev (Akshaye) are two step-brothers, who at the first sight couldn´t be more in love with each other. Especially Ranveer is doting on his younger bhaiya, even giving up a sexy Sonia (Bipasha Basu) he himself is crushing on, just because Rajeev while drunk once blabs something about giving up alcohol should he get the gal. And so Ranveer with soaring heart makes sure they end up together. But if you think we are going the Sangam way here, you are mistaken. Because in Race nothing really is what it seems, in fact by the end of the film you grow suspicious even of apples and oranges. 

"Did you steal my conditioner?"

To sum it up just quickly: we have a deadly-silent older brother (he is the good one, the one who only kills people who want to kill him, otherwise you´re cool), a more vocal sharaabi younger brother (who kills anyone he needs to be out of the way), a dusky Sonia (who sleeps with the brother she is not married to), a fair long-legged secretary (Katrina Kaif after a disturbing lip job, and dubbed – which doesn´t help as the dubber is even worse than Katrina´s normal voice and diction), and a bit later let enter an amazingly uncool police investigator (Anil Kapoor) who manages to devour just about every fruit that exists on the planet, and his completely dumb 20-something assistant (Sameera Reddy), and they all want their big fat share of paisa. Everyone works with everybody to deceive everyone else.

After a rather boring and unhappening 40 minutes the film gets a good tempo and there is definitely no shortage of twists - some of which I guessed beforehand and some that were completely unexpected (like yeah, I actually was willing to believe Katrina´s character was the only good girl in the whole thing). The dialogues in those first 40 minutes were extremely cringeworthy, consisting mostly of real everyday stuff like "let´s have lunch" and "good morning". The ending should have been tighter and explaining seemed too lengthy.

"Om-nom-nom-nom."

Congratulations to Abbas-Mustan. What a brilliant move to involve the super-annoying Sameera Reddy in a stupid role that made me want to smack her face so badly. Brilliant, because she makes Katrina look a blessing and I am not even sarcastic! I don´t know why Anil signs such embarrassing roles. To see him with girls so much younger than him is just weird. And it´s not like he is evolving as an actor with roles like these. Saif is good, so is Bipasha (although I just cannot bring myself to believe her whenever she acts the good one - she just looks so cunning all the time!), but the real show-stealer is the ever-underrated youngest Khanna. He was brilliant. I guess bad movie choices were his doom, because he is easily among the most convincing and versatile actors I´ve seen Bollywood in the past 20 years. 

Songs try too hard to be sexy, but came off as boring. The actresses are way too obviously put „out there“, in case of Zara Zara song Katrina is actually looking more completely desperate for attention rather than being mysterious or seductive, there is nothing intricate or really feminine about the presentation of „sexy“. Made by guys, for guys, I guess. Also the comedy track was completely off. It served no purpose and wasn´t really funny either. Race is a fine watch, that could have been better. Tighter. Quicker. More stylish. Challo, maybe the second one will learn from the mistakes?

Lamhe

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Anil Kapoor, Sridevi, Waheeda Rehman, Anupam Kher

Released: 1991

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

As the sad news of a sudden demise of Yash Chopra seeps in, probably every Bollywood fan stops for a minute and thinks about the legacy this man left behind. I have never tried to hide that I found many of his films overrated, and this feeling remains. At the same time one cannot deny that Yash Chopra was a man who inspired many other filmmakers and influenced Bollywood like only few other people did. And finally I thought to myself that this sad moment actually gives me an opportunity to review a film I consider his absolutely best, and without seconds thought a deserved classic.

A young NRI Viren (Anil Kapoor without his trademark stache) and his old nurse (Waheeda Rehman with her trademark grace) return after many years to India, Rajasthan, where Viren officially takes over the property left to him by his deceased parents. Grown up in London, Viren finds India a strange, yet interesting place. Even more interesting since his neighbour´s daughter Pallavi (Sridevi) appoints herself his guide and friend. And soon enough quiet and romantic Viren falls in love with vivacious and life-loving Pallavi, regardless of the fact she is older to him. One cannot wonder. Sridevi as Pallavi is utterly gorgeous, Yash Chopra was in the end someone who always made his actresses look stunning. However all too soon her father dies and heartbroken Pallavi soon after break Viren´s heart, as she misses his open arms only to fall into another man´s embrace. The shaken Viren comes to know Pallavi has been in love with Siddhart, an air force pilot, and to ensure her happiness, Viren has the two of them married. Nursing a wounded heart he then returns to England, and unsuspecting Pallavi keeps him informed about her life in letters, which he stores with almost religious fervour, as well as few other little mementos, including the anklet she lost that night she danced for him in the desert....

But after just few months of happy togetherness Siddhart and Pallavi both perish in a car accident, leaving behind a tiny baby girl, whom Pallavi manages to entrust to Viren´s old nurse Dai jaa. The older woman names the baby Pooja and brings her up in India, where Viren finances everything, but only comes there once a year, to remember death of his love. Not once he agrees to see Pooja , although he bears no ill will to her, and showers her with gifts. The curious girl (also played by Sridevi, because whenever Sridevi has a baby in a film, it looks exactly like her), however, could not be less satisfied. After all, she has decided a long time ago in her kid heart, that one day she is going to marry this mysterious benefactor of hers. Clueless, just like her mother, about what lies in Viren´s heart.....

Lamhe is indeed a rather unique love story, where there lies both an affection for another (in case of Pallavi) and a big age difference (in case of Pooja) in between Viren and his happiness. Anil Kapoor is perfect in the role. His portrayal of the character is subdued and calm – a rather extraordinary thing to behold when it comes to him. Anil of that time was usually a hero roughly treated by life, wearing jeans and taking bloody revenges, but Viren is completely different. Quiet. Thoughtful. Sensitive. The scene where he sees Pooja for the first time, and thinking probably a miracle has happened and that is Pallavi in front of him, is extremely powerful even without words. I feel that very often people very unjustly leave him out when talking about the film. He deserves as much credit for making it beautiful as his leading lady.

As far as Sridevi is concerned, in my opinion, this is her best performance ever. It is one thing to admire about her, that as reserved and withdrawn she is in personal life, she is able to shake all her inhibitions off once the camera starts rolling. She is a delight to watch as both Pallavi and Pooja (characters that actually have a lot in common – apart from one being mature and one still very much childish). Her somehow constantly surprised and mischievous expression and innocence mirrored in those huge eyes lined carefully with kohl, is perfect. Her dancing in Megha Re Megha and Chhudian Khanak Bole wonderful. She infuses life into her role with so much conviction you cannot but applaud her.

Two other supporting actors, who absolutely need to be mentioned, because even without them Lamhe would not have been what it is, are already mentioned Waheeda Rehman and amother of my favourites Anupam Kher. Waheeda never lost her grace and aura, and even as wise and selfless Dai Jaa she is capable of winning the hearts of audience, and equals Sridevi´s overpowering screen presence with magic of her own. Ah! And that glorious moment when she actually bursts out singing her famous number from Guide! Anupam Kher as whacky, good-natured Prem, a friend of Viren´s, who keeps pushing him and Pooja together in his own sneaky but well-meant ways, is too endearing. His bonding with Sridevi in London is hilarious, his singing of Kabhi Kabhie near the end gets you emotional.

Lamhe has been many a time rejected by some viewers, who found the story incestous. I can understand where these people are coming from. Viren did love Pooja´s mother and he was the girl´s guardian. But at the same time, I never really thought about this while watching the film. It is not like Viren was married to Pallavi and then pulled off Woody Allen. Pooja´s eternal crush on Viren, is probably more questionable to me, and one has a feeling she had to be really cut off from all the society, because her whole existence seemed to center around a man she has only heard of. I read that Sridevi herself objected to the ending of Lamhe and i must say I too would find it more logical if Viren indeed refused Pooja and she went on with her life without him. Then again the film is so beautifully constructed and acted I have no major objections to the happy ending either.

The only flaw I find in Lamhe is – Siddhart aka non-actor Deepak Malhotra, whom the trees give a stiff competition. It really felt like Yash Chopra just stopped the first fair guy he found on the street, dressed him in a uniform and put him in front of the camera. Poor Mr. Malhotra was atrocious from stoned expression to non-existent dialogue delivery, and what a shame – he did not even look good with Sridevi. Then again he is there only to impregnate the heroine and die....

Yash Chopra films are famous for having wonderful soundtracks (mostly, though you could find exceptions) and Lamhe is no different. Melodies and lyrics woven into the story are flawless. My personal favourite apart from the obvious „desert“ number about bangle and a peacock has to be Gudia Rani picturized on my beloved Waheeda and little „Pooja“. There is something universally appealing in lullabies, wouldn´t you agree?

Lamhe is one of those films that stand witness how little the box office results tell when it comes to the quality of the film. A film to cherish. And the best film of an iconic director.

Andaz

Directed by: David Dhawan

Starring: Anil Kapoor, Karishma Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, Kader Khan

Released: 1994

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Many years before Farah Khan brought to life Main Hoon Na that revolved around a college and terrorism, there was David Dhawan who created a movie based on the two as well. Main Hoon Na is not even remotely a copy of Andaaz, as the two stories are different, and where Farah Khan´s movie changes easily from comedy to family drama and action flick, David Dhawan stayed faithful to what he could do best and maintained the light spirit throughout, yet still I found it curious that the two movies have the same feel. Main Hoon Na, aspiring to be a modern day classic in my book, is of course far superior to Andaaz in every department, being a slick, polished and witty massala of the memorable team Farah-SRK, while Andaaz is what it is: a typical 90s movie with loopholes, bad cinematography and Shakti Kapoor.

Anil Kapoor armed with his trademark moustache and wearing glasses (signifying he is a civilized and educated man this time) comes to a college as a new teacher, however his peaceful nature and young age make him a favourite target of student jokes and tricks. One of the girls in particular disturbs his inner balance – Jaya (Karishma), who, after pulling a practical joke on him, seems to annoy him with every single thing. Anil puts up with everything up until the moment he finds an „I love you“ note addressed to him. He gives it to Jaya (as he believes it was her sending it) without much of an explanation, and thus starts an avalanche of other similar notes. Unknown to him it was not her who sent them, but one of other students trying to avenge for previous punishment, and while Anil thinks he is love object of Jaya´s, she in return believes she is his, building this belief on the I love you notes he keeps giving her „back“

The film is also an unashamed eyeglasses porn.

When truth comes out it is already too late for Jaya, who is head over heels and for real in love with the teacher, and in order to gain his affection leaves the school and moves next door, only to be rejected again and again. Until finally Anil decides to bring home – a wife! Marrying in a hurry he chooses Juhi Chawla in an orphanage, with a conviction him marrying will shoo Jaya away forever. Originally he wanted a woman who could cook, sing, be educated. Juhi is none of that and quite useless, however Anil is not angry for long because she still possesses the erotic female parts and basically the whole second half of the film could be called „The tales of a horny husband“. One song in particular made me stare at the screen in a complete disbelief of what was actually happening! The first 13 seconds will be enough for you to understand!

Karishma, who dominated the first half completely, being adorable with her huge eyebrows and frizzy hair, is immediately sidelined not only by her love interest (now interested only in jumping into bed with the wife at every single opportunity. Compared to the latest Dhawan movies it was all still innocent, which can give you an idea of how distasteful are his films now.), but also the script, which is a shame. Her character henceforth doesn´t really make much sense and looses all the appeal.

You may be wondering by now where the terrorists fit in. They don´t fit in at all – and yet they are present. The „action“ subplot is limited to about three or four short scenes during the film, only to overwhelm it in the last 15 minutes, and basically holding no importance at all. In fact the whole terrorist thing is just a way how to get rid of Jaya in the end.

Let´s get laid darling.

Let´s get intimate!

Actually, let´s get kinky.

I really enjoyed the movie (after all I love myself some 90s with all the cringeworthy stuff and guilty pleasures they represent).It is one of the few rare pictures where I didn´t cringe at Anil Kapoor´s comedy, maybe because he kept the acting rather calm and came of much more convincing than his usual let´s be as loud as possible and let´s put my head forward and bulge my small eyes way of acting „funny“. The ladies steal the show from him (I guess after working with Madhuri and Sridevi he was used to that already anyway), Karishma breathes the life into the story in the first part, Juhi with her gorgeousness and comic sense nobody can match takes over in the second, in spite of being given just an extended cameo. She was a pure delight to watch and left me longing for more.

It´s no Main Hoon Na for sure, but it is worth a shot if you are looking for something fun or if you are missing the naughty but not yet completely over the top vulgar David Dhawan.

Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
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WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
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TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

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MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
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BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.

Salaam-E-Ishq

Directed by: Nikhil Advani

Starring: John Abraham, Vidya Balan, Anil Kapoor, Juhi Chawla, Govinda, Shannon Esra, Salman Khan, Priyanka Chopra, Akshaye Khanna, Ayesha Takia, Sohail Khan, Ishaa Koppikar

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Quite entertaining but without much impact. Non-demanding fun for everybody. Lots of great actors, lots of film references, lots of love and that of many forms. The six couples represent six stories that together have only one thing in common: being love stories in one way or another.

So we have:

1. John and Vidya in a Venezuelan telenovela style story: He is a Hindu, she is a Muslim. But they love each other and just celebrated their wedding anniversary. But then Vidya suffers a serious injury in a train crash, after which she partly looses her memory (yes, that part which included her husband). And now John is sad and miserable and he does all he can to help his wife regain the memories of love......
   
   
   
2. Salman and Priyanka in a typical Bollywood romantic comedy: She is a famous item girl desiring to be next Madhubala, a true heroine with memorable performances. And so she makes up a story about „Rahul“, her true love, to make herself interesting, gain attention and give an impression of her purity (fit for Indian heroine). But then a guy appears and claims to be her true love Rahul... and for the sake of fame she plays along....
   
   
   
3. Anil and Juhi in westernized drama about a failing marriage: They are NRIs living in London with their children. She takes care of the family, he spends his days in the office, where he obviously does nothing but sitting and watching the clock. Then he travels by tube, and one day his eyes fall upon a young girl. And the middle-crisis stricken man begins an affair with her, deceiving his wife......
   
   
   
4. Govinda and Shannon in a typical Bollywood romantic comedy no. 2: He is a taxi driver dreaming about one true love. She is a brash blonde American searching for a guy who promised to marry her, but now is in India to hunt for a nice India bride. Govinda and his taxi are more then helpful, but the groom is escaping all the time. And poor Govinda falls in love....
   
   
   
5. Akshaye and Ayesha in a modernized Bollywood romantic film: They are about to be married, but then Akshaye gets really cold feet and does whatever he can to ruin the wedding. None of those work. And when he finally makes peace with his marriage, Ayesha finds out something that makes her call the whole wedding off. And Akshaye realizes what a fool he is...
   
   
   
6. Sohail and Ishaa in south-indian-ish comedy: Just got married, both eager to make love..... and never succeding in it! First the house burns down, then some children disturb, then their car breaks give in...... Making love is not easy at all!
   
   
   

All the stories had a potential to be good movies on their own. They were funny when supposed to, they were sad when supposed to, they had beginning and end, they made sense. There was wit, fun, fluff, shirt-less Salman, some teary moments. But with six rather powerful plots full of wonderful chances there is hardly any time to explore them in depth. The actors did not really have a chance to show the real scope of the characters in the limited time they were given. Put all together they create a fun collage, but there is nothing truly remarkable about any of them. Pity. The editing was flawless though, practically seamless.

All the actors are good. Among the men Govinda with his perfect comic timing and priceless expressions stands out the most, among women it is Juhi Chawla with her sensitive approach who has the greatest acting proweness. Special mentions belong to Akshaye Khanna, who yet again proves his versatility, and to Vidya Balan. John, Priyanka, Salman, Ayesha.... all are more like an eye-candies (if they rock your boat, that is). Anil Kapoor without a moustache is a horrendous sight to behold. The most moving (read tear-jerking) story is that of John and Vidya, the funniest and cutest story is the one of Sohail and Isha, but sadly it is given the least footage and serves more like a fun cameo.

There is really not much to review. There are no strong ideas or innovative remarks that would rise in your mind. Enjoy and move on. That´s it.