The Dirty Picture

Directed by: Milan Luthria

Starring: Vidya Balan, Emraan Hashmi, Naseeruddin Shah, Tusshar Kapoor

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What Bhandarkar attempted to do with „Heroine“ (and messed up), Milan Luthria did before him (and did not mess up). No matter if present or the past, the message is clear: it sucks to be a female filmstar. We all know that. It has been talked about for decades. And nobody is doing anything about it, not even The Dirty Picture. After all, as long as we get such tragic and sad stories of lives ruined in a pursuit of stardom, there will be material for film scripts. A story like that of the 80s actress Silk Smita, on which is the film based, though it doesn´t religiously follow her life or characteristics.

A village girl Reshma runs away from her home and mother to pursue her filmi dreams. However she faces rejection on all sides and with every rejection her enthusiasm dies a little and her frustration grows. Until she decides to go „dirty“ - taking up a highly suggestive dance number and completely knocking breath out of everyone. Sex sells and she quickly becomes a sensation. However after some time of doing raunchy, meaningless roles, it all becomes the same to her. Success is no longer sweet and Reshma, now known as Silk, is hoping to branch out of her sex Goddess image. And suffers a nasty blow upon realizing nobody cares for her in any other than her dirty avatar....

The transformation....

It is all definitely dirty, the first half more than the second, but the second actually shows dirtiness of human soul, which is ultimately much more vulgar than dirtiness of showing off of flesh. There is a definite feeling of sadness from the first moment, because you just know it is not going to end well. Somehow it just cannot. But all the sadness feels rather superficial, as way too much time is spent on lingering on the nastiness, and way too little time is given to the actual character of Silk. We see what is happening to her, but we have no idea how she feels, why she feels that way. There is no real contact between the viewer and the character.

The film does great on the visual level. The 80s are bright and alive and you would expect Jeetendra in white shoes prancing around Jayapradha to appear at any moment, and it wouldn´t look out of place. Especially the picturization of the famed Oh La La song (the best track of the album by the way) is bit of an visual orgasm with all the pink vermillion and painted pots and shirtless Naseer and drenched Vidya for me. It represents Indian cinema of the time perfectly – with all the over the top and larger than life factors. It is so much fun, yet never feels like disdainful scoff.

Vidya was excellent and owned the film completely. She was Silk and made her a truly 3D character, not a caricature. I appreciated that she was so real, with all the rudeness and boldness, but in the end just a normal woman with in need of appreciation and solid emotional ties. And some basic respect, which she did not get, because audience, back then and even now, has a difficult time understanding that a woman enjoying and displaying her sensuality does not equal a classless prostitute.

Emraan had really nothing to do and in what he had he seemed incredibly wooden, his voice over throughout the film was atrocious and without any change of intonation whatsoever. Him looking like Anil Kapoor and having pretty much same mannerism do not help him in my eyes. Naseerudin Shah is a pure gold as ever, and a wonderful cast choice for an aging 80s hero who is accepted as forever young, while his heroines are turning into „mothers“ after few years in business. The biggest surprise has to be Tusshar Kapoor in a role of his younger brother, who too has a thing for Silk (only up until the moment he realizes she has no intention to sacrifice everything for him and become a „decent“ woman).

Good, but still overrated picture, at least as far as awards and critical appraisal goes.

Singham

Directed by: Rohit Shetty

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Prakash Raj, Kajal Agarwal

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

When I watched it for the first time I was still under the influence of Dabangg, which I had seen just recently, and somehow in my mind I couldn´t help but compare everything in Singham to it. Watching Ajay Devgn beating up the trash out of villains somehow gave me a feeling I have seen something like it already and ultimately Dabangg could have been blamed that I did not enjoy Singham as I probably would if it was released much later or much earlier. It was only during second (and third) viewing that I could appreciate the movie. True – the setting, the seemingly almighty policeman from a village in a familiar khaki uniform, the booming main theme playing whenever he gets angry, the enemies involved in high politics, all that are features the film has in common with Dabangg (and other similar films that have began popping up like mushrooms after rain lately), but Bajirao is not corrupted Chulbul, his plight is not instigated by family problems and his lady love is not at all pleasant to watch. 

The introduction shot. Just so you know that this ain´t gonna be about a socially awkward biscuit seller.

Bajirao Singham is a police inspector serving at the place closest to his heart, his home village. He makes sure no injustice is commited against anyone, and in return he gets devotion and support from one and all. However then he insults a politician Jaikant Shikre – who in fact is nothing more than a complete villain who earns money and is responsible for criminal activities like kidnappings and murders – and to take revenge on him Shikre has Singham transferred to Goa, a town that is completely under his influence, and where Singham has nobody to help him in his efforts. As he soon comes to know, there used to be another police inspector who tried to destroy Shikre and uncover his illegal activities, but ultimately, after months of mental torture and false allegations concerning his own honour, he took his own life. Singham, however, refuses to fall into the same trap.

"I will pee on everything you love."

There is a rather useless love story line thrown into the movie, but it doesn´t contribute anything to the film or even the character of Singham. And unfortunately the actress is so annoying and unconvincing she makes it all one big bore. Childish and immature as Kavya, Kajal Agarwal is not a good match for mature and very manly Ajay Devgn, looking like his daughter. In the scenes with her Ajay also seems to „turn off“, while in his individual scenes he is wonderful. Forget Salman Khan. If there is one actor whose one angry look will make your knees shake and whom you would instantly believe he is capable of tearing iron apart it is Ajay. He is brilliantly matched as far as performance is concerned, by his evil enemy Shikre aka Prakash Raj, who makes his villain a threatening and yet not inhuman (read: not without a certain lack of confidence and some major fears) persona. You can never cheer for Shikre, but you have to cheer for Mr. Raj. Rest of the supporting cast too are good, it was a pleasure seeing Ashok Saraf.

"Thappad se darr nahi lagta sahab!"

"How many times...."

"..do I have to tell you...."

"..this ain´t bloody Dabangg!?"

While I am not completely a fan of all the south masala remakes, Singham is one of the good ones. It has tremendous repeat value (I was quite surprised when I found out I was enjoying it so much the second time, in spite of knowing what and how things are to happen) and although at first I was ready to dismiss it as a wanna be Dabangg, I have to take my first impression back. Singham has things to offer that make it stand on its own feet, in spite of outer similarity to other, similarly presented movies.

But the heroine really sucks.

Stanley Ka Dabba

Directed by: Amole Gupte

Starring: Partho Gupte, Divya Dutta, Amole Gupte

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There are huge, lavishly told stories that hardly touch you. And then there are little stories that go straight to your heart. Just like the rather unglamorously named Stanley Ka Dabba. You might just be surprised what all can be told and shared in a tale about somebody´s lunch tiffin. Or a lack of it, which is exactly the case of Stanley, an 8-years-old boy from Mumbai.

Stanley seems to be lucky enough. He is bright, full of original ideas (that unfortunately not always go down well with all the teachers), eager to learn. And yet he is not a typical nerd who would get rejected by the rest of his class. On the contrary – he is hugely popular among all his classmates. He also has a special place in a heart of his English teacher miss Rosy – and in return he has a huge childhood crush on her. However one of the teachers is constantly annoyed with Stanley.

Some boys have bruises from fights. Some boys are like Stanley.

„Khadoos“ as he is nicknamed, is more than for his Hindi lessons known for unashamedly eating the lunches of his students (and other teachers as well, just more respectfully). One brief sight of a nice, shiny, metal dabba (tiffin), one sniff of food, makes him loose control over his thoughts and actions. He does not care one bit for what his students must think, he devours all he can. And he is thus deeply bothered upon realizing one of the students never brings any food to school – Stanley. Nobody has ever seen Stanley´s own dabba. Instead the boy usually disappears during lunch time, saying he´s going home to eat, but instead he can be found in the bathroom, drinking water to deceive his own stomach...

It is the simplicity in which the story is told that makes the whole film so engaging. Almost a perfect picture of a childhood, but seen from point of view of someone who already has the pangs of growing up behind them. Yet it all stay innocent because innocence and mischievousness reflect in Stanley´s dark eyes. Partho Gupte is so incredibly natural in front of a camera one could easily believe he didn´t even know he was being filmed. It is rare for child actors to show so much feeling without being superficial. But Partho is not the only one to be praised in this matter, as all his friends are wonderful as well. Those little guys have talent. Moreover they beautiful „clicked“ together and their little group feels honestly genuine. It was refreshing to see a movie about friends who actually are not jealous of each other, it was nice to see children not being selfish. 

Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam Pyar Hota Hai Deewana Sanam!

The picture is complete with the characters of teachers – each being distinctively different from one another in their attitude towards pupils. Sweet and loving miss Rosy is in harsh contrast to strict and cold science teacher, and then there is of course Khadoos, who is a bit of both – just completely loosing it at the mere mention of food. His scenes with Partho are truly stirring a sadness. When he bans Stanley from going to school because he doesn´t have a dabba he could loot, he is naturally highly unlikeable. But once Stanley actually shows him who is the bigger person, you don´t feel any satisfaction, instead you pity Khadoos, because apparently, he has learned his lesson, and his change of heart is very much apparent.

Stanley Ka Dabba shows you a fragment of life of a boy, whose real story is actually quite larger and much much more sad. Yet it does not sadistically linger on Stanley´s true state of living (revealed at the very end only), nor it shows him as mentally and emotionally crippled by his living conditions. It is in the end a story of someone small, bit with big dreams and a big heart.

Need to mention the opening titles are clever, amusing and sad.

The big 2011 overview

2011 was kinda meh for Bollywood. True enough, there were blockbusters, there were expectations, there were hypes and there were big stars shining. But overal the quality/entertainment level of the films was rather low, performances except for few nothing amazing and music was mostly forgettable. During the year I watched exactly 157 movies, out of which only 35 were 2011 releases (as I write I am still yet to watch The Dirty Picture and several more films like Shaitaan or Shor in the city).

The year started for me with No one killed Jessica, followed by the Deol opus Yamla Pagla Deewana. I have tried to give a chance to Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji – and you can read in this article how it ended. Next on the list was a film that sounded interesting...

Directed by: Kiran Rao
Starring: Aamir Khan, Prateik Babbar, Monica Dogra

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The last of the January releases I chose to sit through was Aamir Khan´s Dhobi Ghat....It is not a bad film... but nothing that I would label good either. Somehow it refuses to fit into such cathegories.  There is not much of a story and ending is apparently missing. I did like the overall atmosphere though, without ever being to Mumbai or India it engulfed me and let me with an illusion I actually, for a few minutes, understood. All other three actors (playing Shai, Munna and Yasmine) were great. Especially "Yasmine" touched me. In fact her "letters" were the most interesting and engaging part of the movie. Until Aamir discovers them, nothing makes much sense really. As for Mr. Perfectionist himself, he disappoints big time. Maybe because one would actually expect him to act, not just smoke and watch TV.

Directed by: Nikhil Advani
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Rishi Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Dimple Kapadia

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

As February came it was Akshay Kumar´s turn to arrive on the screen with his first release of the year called Patiala House (just another in a long list of English titles that decorated the posters in 2011 – from already mentioned No one killed Jessica to Ready, Rockstar, Rascals, Desi Boyz and of course The Dirty picture just to mention a few). A heck lot of nonsense and unrealistic conspiring almost completely killed off a promising family drama with decent performances – notably from Rishi Kapoor AND Akshay himself, who has laid off his comedy king image for a while and regained some of the respect as an ACTOR (only to loose it again few weeks later.....). The film  didn´t really give me anything, but it captured some part of human relations well. Especially loved how everybody was urging Akshay to stand up to his father, but when he did they were all cowards and nobody supported him. How very human.

Right behind Akshay it was Priyanka Chopra´s first 2011 release 7 Khoon Maaf that hurriedly followed. It flopped. But to me it was one of the best films of the year, even though I´m aware that is a rather unpopular opinion. If nothing Priyanka truly impressed me – unlike her co-star from Fashion Kangana Ranaut, who messed up completely in Tanu weds Manu. It is truly unfortunate when a lead actress is the greatest weakness of otherwise enjoyable movie. March did not bring any great pleasant surprises either. You can read here what I thought of some of the releases, however one of the films originally scheduled for March I´ve only managed to watch much later, so it is missing from the article.

Directed by: Rohan Sippy
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aditya Pancholi, Prateik Babbar, Govind Nameo

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Now this is a movie definitely worth seeing. I really liked the way the narrative was done in the first part, the editing was very clever and in spite of various flashbacks not confusing at all. Performances are very good from everybody, but Abhishek is a miscast. Not because he would act badly, but because he is plain boring in the cop roles. Boring boring boring. It was during his scenes that the film would occasionally run short of breath. The guy needs to stop being a cop or a cool dude or a cool cop which is what he´s been trying to make his niché of, and find something else soon. Basically everybody else was more interesting. Deepika´s item number, which was so heavily propagated, is completely useless and not even well shot. Showstealer is none other than Aditya Pancholi, whom I used to hate in his 90s movies, but is growing on me more with advancing time.

Together with Dum Maro Dum Lara Dutta´s heartwarming, uncomplicated Chalo Dilli was the saving grace of April, which was also the month responsible for possibly the WORST of all 2011 releases. Yes, I´m talking of none other than Thank you, an Anees Bazmi film that could be used anywhere in the world as an example of how not to do cinema. Fortunately the month of May was more merciful enough to wipe Thank you and Anees Bazmi from my mind, even if only for a while. One of the best movies of the year was for me Stanley Ka Dabba. Rather unglamorous title is hiding a heartwarming, moving story, so full of love for life! Speaking about love, I´ve quite enjoyed two romantic comedies released the same month.

Directed by: Bumpy
Starring: Sraddha Kapoor, Taaha Shah

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I loved the girl! She had so much energy and I think she´s REALLY talented. She emoted terribly well. Plus she has nice voice. Plus she looks good. The pace it´s even throughout the film, it doesn´t slow down, it´s never boring. The music is catchy. And from beginning to end there was no place for any unrelated subplots that would slow it down. The special appearance by Ali Zafar, however brief, was a VERY pleasant surprise... However the revenge the girl took was far too drastic and violent for my taste. I would have preferred something more subtle. Also the use of swearing words was completely unnecesarry. Overally I really enjoyed this, even though sometimes against better judgement.

Directed by: S. Manasvi
Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Amrita Rao

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Lot less impressive than Luv Ka The End, rather nice, "normal" film. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing outstanding in it. Some clichés, some plotholes, more clichés. No surprises, no big twists. Watching it however I realized how much I miss intensity in romantic films like this. There used to be so much intense emotions in older films about young people. Now... it´s just not there. Sad. Amrita Rao looks gorgeous and acts well, I wonder why is she seen so little and why is she not sought out for projects with actors like Imran Khan, Ranbir Kapoor? Instead she is stuck with Tusshar, who acts OK and has a charisma of a banana peel.

Directed by: Sunny Bhambhani
Starring: Sahil Mehta, Mannat Ravi, Vikay Katyal, Priyam Galav

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

And on a love note we have breezed into the month of June, riding the Love Express with a debutant director and debutant actors in four main leads. A simple story about two days spent in a train filled with two families going for a wedding, while the engaged couple is just not interested in each other, and trying to find a way out of the planned relationship. Perhaps predictable, but very sweet, and although one wasn´t exactly having fits of laughter, I had a smile plastered on my face throughout.

However at this content moment Anees Bazmi decided to attack again, even more agressively than before with the mess called Ready, for which I definitely was not ready. Salman Khan  not acting while Asin was being wasted and everybody swinging their hips in a terrible choreography while the unbearable Dhinka Chika was screaming from the amplions was more than I could digest. And the trend of lame comedies did not end there. Indra Kumar served us his Double Dhamaal (review coming eventually) and had us questioning our own intelligence once again. The two films releasing on the same day - 1st July, were both heavily propagated and especially the second one raise a lot of questions, expectations and curiosity. But before that just a few words about the first one.

Directed by: Puri Jagannath
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Sonu Sood

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I didn´t really know how to watch this, how to treat this. I did get it was supposed to be a overview of sorts, a tribute to the body of work of Amitabh Bachchan, bringing out of the wardrobe his image of an angry young man.... with the difference this was an angry old man. And somehow, angry old men are not cool. And wearing what Big B was in the film, the way he behaved, made the character completely cringeworthy. None of the storylines did really capture my attention or stood out. One of those films I have forgotten as soon as they ended.

Directed by: Abhinay Deo
Starring: Imran Khan, Vir Das, Kunaal Roy Kapur

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Shit happens. Yeah, it does. I was not sure what to expect from this one either. I thought that I will be either hilariously entertained or utterly disgusted (the promos suggested the latter). Well, the film surprised - I was neither. In fact I don´t recall a film that would leave me so completely unmoved (into any direction). Several times I smiled. Several times I didn´t like what I saw. Overally the film seemed like a background score for me thinking about completely different things! Imran suffers the fate of Aamir in 3 Idiots - meaning he is completely overshadowed by his two friends, who steal the show and actually provide the laughter. I cannot help but shake my head in disbelief over the claims this is a movie that shall take Bollywood into a new direction. There really was nothing that revolutionary or different from other half mindless half witty comedies, except for the overuse of swearing language, which by the way has no point, and it´s offensive for the pure sake of being offensive. It doesn´t hurt to see the film, but it´s nothing not-to-be-missed either. The best thing about it is actually a quick pace and quick changes of situations.

After Stanley Ka Dabba another movie that really impressed me was highly praised Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (where for the first time I ever I did not feel the need to strangle Katrina Kaif on the spot). However Ajay Devgn´s Sigham  left me mostly unimpressed from a single reason only – throughout the movie I´ve had a feeling I have seen it all. Just last year in Dabangg. There was hardly anything different about it. And July was ended on a very low note with an attempt at historical drama that went just all wrong. Gandhi to Hitler can be considered the biggest joke the filmmakers played on us last year, at least I hope it was meant to be a joke. And then June turned into July.

Directed by: Prakash Jha
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I liked this. Well, not all, but most of it. My liking doesn´t really have much to do with the cast or performances (which were all good), more with the topic and me being a university student just realizing how great business education really can be. In fact there were several lines in the films I´m definitely noting down, because there was so much blunt truth in them. Aarakshan is basically a one man show and that one man is this time charismatic and not ridiculous Amitabh Bachchan. Saif goes out of mind as soon as he leaves the screen. Deepika has great expressions. All she needs to work on is the intensity of her voice and some modulation, but she proved again to be my dark horse for the future years. First part was more tight and exciting then the second and to cut the film´s length down to 2 hours would have been a good idea as well.

And then of course Bodyguard came along.

Directed by: Siddique
Starring: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Blockbuster after just few days, it was promoted as an epic love story that gives Kareena Kapoor her best role ever and Salman Bhai bhi. If there is one thing that I loved, really, really loved, it was Teri Meri. That song is awesome, full of feeling, very dramatic and yet not over the top. The picturization was good too, though Salman did way too much unnecessary running. I´m not going to say he cannot act, that wouldn´t be true as he used to act in good old days, but past few years he really doesn´t bother at all. Kareena, whom I learned to adore on screen, acts, but has nothing to work with really. Other characters are so completely sidelined it´s not even worthy talking about them, and poor villains had TWO scenes.... The fat guy trying his luck at being the new Johnny Lever annoyed the heck out of me, though I agree I loved his T-shirts stating "Six pack coming soon" and "Looking good is not a crime". The two main characters are very poorly drawn and basically boring, they don´t really go through any development - and neither does their relationship. In fact I still keep wondering where did the love came from? And similarly so I couldn´t feel for them as a couple, because the script and story simply didn´t give me a chance to feel for them, feel their love, nothing. The action was ridiculous. I can take a lot, but there is limit to everything. Way too many cheap computer effects. It was definitely better then Salman´s previous release Ready, but very overrated as far as box office goes still.

The second half of the year was considerably better, even if it held some real crap together with real gems. The better times were heralded by sweet, simple, predictable, but still highly entertaining Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, which in spite of starring Imran Khan and Katrina Kaif in the leads (none of them being a mind-blowing performers) was fine to watch.

Directed by: Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring: Imran Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ali Zafar

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

While on one hand Mere Brother Ki Dulhan definitely belongs to the better films of 2011 and offered me a pleasant enough watch, on the other hand it is one of those completely predictable films that need something special to make it work also on a second watch – a memorable performance, a smashing soundtrack, a write-it-into-stone dialogue.... and that this film does not really provide. The title itself pretty much gives away the the plot too.

Ali Zafar, an NRI settled in London, breaks up with his girlfriend (or rather – she breaks up with him and since we´re on a breaking spree also breaks his HD TV). Mere minutes later he phones his younger brother Imran Khan (living on the other side of the planet in India) and insists his brother finds him a bride (yeah, really). And Imran starts searching. After many crazy girls lining up he of course discovers THE one in the form of lovely but boring Katrina Kaif, who is boring even while doing illegal rock concerts at Agra, but to Imran she does not seem boring at all and soon enough he decides she is the right match for his brother. The criminally side-lined Ali Zafar was the best performer of the three main leads, the most natural and charming one, but he only gets some space in the second half, when he comes to India to get married. What is unknown to him is that Imran has managed to find himself in love with future bhabhi and now is not exactly keep to simply hand her over to his brother....

Nice and sweet, yet without repeat value. Mere Brother Ki Dulhan makes everyone in it likeable, but does not rise up above a standart colourful Yashraj romcom that the production house in question loves to churn out time and again.

 
At the other end of movie entertainment John Abraham´s Force gave us some serious chills as well as the most menacing new villains and in yet a different field Shahid Kapoor tried to sell his romance with Sonam Kapoor titled Mausam (review coming eventually) to the audience – unfortunatelly and deservingly he did not succeed. However by that time, having a Double Dhamaal hangover, Sanjay Dutt has sent his new baby into the world as well....

Directed by: David Dhawan
Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Kangana Ranaut

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Throughout I kept having Deewana Mastana flashbacks, however one would be looking for the same light-heartedness, same charm or level of performances in vain in Rascals. Sanjay and Ajay were wasted, which is sad, because they really work as a male jodi and both have great comic timing. However the OTT acting is not Ajay´s cup of chai at all. Kangana needs to stop doing comedies right NOW! She was awful from beginning to end. She did not share any chemistry whatsoever with either of the two main protagonists, so even their pursue of her was not really interesting to watch. I did not like at all the way women were portraited, if that is even the word for nothing but a vulgar flesh show. Sanjay Dutt should either stop criticizing actresses for what they wear or stop producing films like Rascals. The film is also a proof that David Dhawan has completely lost his touch.

I am no fan of romantic comedies, even less of teenage romantic comedies, and although I liked Luv Ka the End, it is really an exception. Because of that I was quite surprised that another film of the same genre was pleasant as well.

Directed by: Nupur Ashtana
Starring: Saqib Saleem, Saba Azad

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

With romantic teenage comedies it is never really about story, but about concept and form, the way the script is presented. MFK is presented well. Not as energic as Luv ka the end, not as funny either, but unlike Luv Ka The End, it has a nice romantic feel, nothing goes over the top. The performances are all natural and pleasant, music, though not groundbreaking ads nice atmosphere. A good timepass.

After MFK I watched mostly older movies, waiting for more new DVDs to come out, and trying luck with several more new films. However My neither Friend Pinto nor Tell me o Khudda or Always Kabhi Kabhie held my interest for longer than 15 minutes and so I really don´t have much to say about them, except maybe that Esha Deol totally falls into the clichéd cathegory of untalented star children. Sadly enough Shahrukh Khan, whom I love so much, did not really impress me (or anyone really) with his heavily promoted Ra.One (review coming eventually), but he got back on the right track later with Don 2 (of course full review is in store). However not even he gave a better performance than Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar (a long review so coming soon), that for me became not only the most intense love story of the year – and the best film of the year, but also a modern days classic. As I have said at the very beginning, I have not yet seen The Dirty picture, and so here got the  last two films I´m going to mention in here.

Directed by: Maneesh Sharma
Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh, Parineeti Chopra, Aditi Sharma Dipannita Sharma

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

LVRB takes place in some weird alternative reality where Ranveer Singh is for every girl an irresistable sexy beast and from that moment on I was a bit wary because I find him neither handsome nor hot, or even interesting. The casting of the girls was much more spot on from demure Aditi to loud-nouted Parineeti, and of course very natural Anushka. Somehow however, Anushka did not matter to me in the movie. I couldn´t care less for her feelings and actually enjoyed the three other ladies in the first half of the movie much much more. Anushka´s entry into the film however, is brilliant. The story gets rather boring in the second half and climax is predictable, though not completely justified. I truly didn´t see where the love was supposed to come from or how, in matter of few days, it could have changed one´s personality completely. Ranveer has not much to work with really, except walking around showing off his body and being supposedly sexy. He was much less impressive than in BBB. His pairing with Anushka is highly praised all over the place, but to be honest they do not really "do it" for me. Music was blah, choreography bad. An OK film, but not much more than that.

Directed by: Rohit Dhawan
Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

For me personally the most enjoyable comedy of the whole 2011. In spite of the things that kinda sucked, it was still so enjoyable and fun! What I truly appreciated was the absence of cheap and vulgar jokes that are such a rage these days, and even though there definitely are several "sex related" scenes the soul of the film remains quite innocent. The highlight performances for me were John (whose comedy had me in splits), Anupam Kher (whose every scene had me in splits) and Deepika (who just really needs to work more on her dialogue delivery, but looks drop dead gorgeous and acts brilliantly in several scenes and is good in the rest). Chitrangda looks beautiful and does well in whatever she´s given, but I did not like her character, that indeed seemed somehow desperate and well, unneccessarily horny. I´m not really a fan of Akshay´s, but he was fine - and his "job interview" was perfect. Sanjay Dutt looked really bad and apparently the composers can take a rest while writing music while he´s on screen because they can always throw Khalnayak main theme out there and everyone is happy. The emotional scenes were unimpressive.

So that was the year 2011 in Bollywood through my eyes. Thank you if you managed to read through this loooong post. ;)

Force

Directed by: Nishikanth Kamath

Starring: John Abraham, Genelia D'Souza, Mohnish Behl, Raj Babbar

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

In spite of uninteresting angrez title and downright sleazy and hideous poster (that is definitely not the safest way of wearing a gun) „Force“ is a fairly well made action film, that at times felt like John´s attempt to turn super-salman-ish (the chest-baring anyone?), but unlike in most of Salman films the action is really hardcore and real. So real that at times a sensitive person will have to look away from the screen and will only look at it again once the noise stops. I am not over-familiar with John´s body of work, I´ve only seen him in Baabul, Jhootha Hi Sahi and Salaa-E-Ishq so far and in all three he played a mellowed lover-boy, so I cannot really tell how unusual (if even) is Force for him as a performer. All I can say is he definitely fits my idea of a rough police officer with sharp mind and effective muscles more than for example Abhishek Bachchan, who has tried to make the genius police walla his signature role by doing films like Dhoom or Game, but failed in my eyes rather badly.

John was quite upset to know he was being compared to Abhishek.

Yash Chopra is a a tough guy working as an ACP of anti-narcotic squad, and despite being the sexiest, handsomest and awesomest guy for miles around he is a bachelor by choice. This brave officer is not ready to endanger anyone by being linked to them, and also protects himself from being vulnerable in this way. Throwing himself into the most complicated tasks he keeps himself busy fighting the drug lords – and one by one Yash Chopra and his team of loyal buddies manage to catch them all based on information received from a source, which a bit later turns out to be somehow unreliable. Apparently all the information were given out for police to clear the field and make space for a new, more powerful drug lord....

Meanwhile Yash Chopra´s bachelorship is endangered after several encounters with a vivacious, pretty Maya, who finally manages to get some feelings out of him by getting herself run over by a car (pretty stupid move to get a guy if you ask me), and Yash, after some more convincing from his friends and their wives decides that maybe he was over-reacting and perhaps he could get married. In time before the wedding, however, he and his friends are forced to kill a dangerous drug smuggler, and without being aware of it at first, there is going to be a real hell to pay, because his brother Vishnu, the new drug lord of India, is planning a bloody and unmerciful revenge aimed at all of them and their loved ones.

You would not jump under a car to make me cry.

Wanna bet?

The filmmakers succeeded in creating a thrilling film, but somehow they did not manage to underline all that awesome (and gruelsome) action with emotional depth. At the base of everything there is supposed to be Yash and his fear of loosing his loved one, but not enough attention is paid to this aspect. It could have been portraited better. I also think more insight into the life of all four heroes would be in place, like this one didn´t really even feel for them – or for Maya, which is a bit of paradox, but channeling the heroines of the 80s she dances into the film as an obligatory love interest and draws back into shadows of oblivion as the story progressed beyond the romance bit. In the end you are shocked, but not really moved, which would definitely ad to the film´s appeal and it would earn it more points in my book.

Alrigh.... now this song was just awkward...

Performances are just fine, nothing really stands out and nothing really disappoints in this department. If somebody really captures your attention, it is the evil Vishnu – a model-turned-actor Vidyut Jamwal, who looks slick, stylish – and actually dangerous. For once I was excited (though in this context it will sound weird) to see a villains who does not have a need to explain everything to his victims and actually kills them. It made him so freaking scary!

I also had very mixed feelings about the approach of John and his partners during the drug cases investigation and later also while trying to find Vishnu. Sure, one feels that law is not always right and at time is causes more damage then good, but as somebody wise once said "eye for an eye make the whole world blind".

Alright... now this moment was just beautiful.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Directed by: Zoya Akhtar

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Farhan Akhtar, Abhay Deol, Katrina Kaif, Kalki Koechlin

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Even among the not that impressive pieces Bollywood managed to churn out this year (which I overally rate as very poor) it is possible to find several pearls and Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara is definitely one of them. It was largely compared to Dil Chahta Hai, but even though it will probably not gain such a cult status, it has made a great impact on the audience and I even dare say it is in many aspects better. One of the greatest plus points for me was a truly equal importance of the three main characters and that they had an equal amount of screentime (whil in DCH it was mostly Aamir with two other heroes criminally sidelined, but more about that in DCH review which is eventually coming as well...).

The story starts with one rather awkward misunderstading. Kabir (Abhay) shows his girlfriend Natasha (Kalki) a ring he bought, which immediately leads her to accept what she considers a marriage proposal – only to find out seconds later he had bought the ring for his mother. However not wanting to embarrass himself or Natasha in public (because it kinda all happened on a birthday party) he actually does propose. And as soon as excited Natasha starts planning her perfect wedding, Kabir is going for a three-week long bachelor trip through Spain with his old friends Imraan (Farhan) and Arjun (Hrithik), as they had promised to each other years ago. The catch of the trip is that each of them is supposed to secretly choose an adventure sport and all three have to go through it no matter what (MEN! Or maybe more like.... BWOYS!).

Bwoys chale Spain.

However old rishtas are not as perfect as they used to be – especially the bond between Arjun and Imraan has apparently suffered. And as it turns out, none of them is going to Spain just to enjoy a trip. Arjun is trying to run away from being emotionally hurt by his ex-girlfriend getting married, Imraan is searching for his biological father and Kabir himself may not be actually be that happy about the prospect of getting married soon... All that is what probably makes them even more adamant when it comes to the adventure sports they have chosen – from scuba-diving to an annual Spanish custom of running with the bulls. All the sports can go terribly wrong. But maybe facing the death with and realizing that you don´t live twice is what the whole trip is about...

Or maybe it all is about an unforgivable waste of food.

Slow (at the verge of boring) at times, rapid at moments, even in its pace, the film is relying on the script more than anything else. Sure, the big star and glamor factor is included in the form of Hrithik and Katrina Kaif, but eventually their screentime is no longer than that of the rest of the actors (in the case of Katrina it´s actually very limited) as I have mentioned at the very beginning. It does use the gorgeous Spanish scenery, but somehow you feel it´s not about visual amazement, more like about what all that visual beauty evokes in you. And the same case is with music, which frames everything nicely. Basically everything deserves a praise from an un-fearing direction to delightufully fine performances. It was refreshing to see someone as impressive but underrated as Farhan doing such a fabulous job as Imraan, looking for his biological father without really knowing what to expect and being ultimately disappointed by what he finds (even though considering he finds the very much amazing Naseeruddin Shah it´s almost criminal to say it like that). It was fun to see Abhay Deol in a rather fun role for a change and it was definitely a treat to watch Hrithik morphing from an arrogant and self-centered businessman into an emotional human being (but not as emotional as to be called over the top or unbelievable).

Moshi moshi!

Katrina Kaif, for the first time in her life, managed not to make me fall asleep, and actually did a good job. One can always argue the role she had was not challenging (it definitely was not as it apparently reflected Katrina´s own personality a lot and did not go through any development), but she did well with whatever she was given. If there was something I did not like about her it was her lisping. I usually cannot hear her bad Hindi pronunciation (being a non-Hindi speaker myself), but she lisps even in English, most of the time her „r“ comes out as „w“. Kalki Koechlin is a delight. She is a far cry from the typical Bollywood beauties, but her earthy and real attitude combined with natural charm makes her truly endearing even if her character is not. And of course, who can forget about Bagwati... wah! Kya acting hai! Plus I´m sure it was Bagwati who made the greatest impact of the whole cast, setting a trend by herself.

The best debutant of 2011.

The movie does not really have a Bollywood or even Indian feel to it, in spite of several songs (and one perfectly performed by the actors themselves) and Farhan´s own beautiful and soulful poetry included. I don´t really think it is a pity, because it works as it is, but should anyone ask, this is definitely not what possible newcomers should expect from Bollywood. We are given some interesting points to think about as well as some excellent one liners and memorable quotes. It all flows beautifully, makes you feel beautifully and maybe you might even learn something about yourself. It gives laughs and gives tears. Just like life that you don´t live twice.

Chalo Dilli

Directed by: Shashant Shah

Starring: Lara Dutta, Vinay Pathak

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

One of the better films of the first half of 2011, and at the time I watched it (spring 2011) after 7 Khoon Maaf also the first which I watched at one go without looking at the timeline (which actually seems quite rare these days). It is a small film about small people who encounter trouble – that as we learn near the end are either big or small depending on your experience and view of life. Quite unusual for a Bollywood film it doesn´t have a love twist and the leading pair is not romantically involved at all (though they share a wonderful chemistry).

We have two characters who could not be more different – and I mean that to the extreme. Mihika is a drop dead gorgeous Senior Vice President of a top multinational Financial Institution in Mumbai. She is highly ambitious, extremely professional and confident and strictly demands the same level of professionalism not only from her employees, but apparently also from the whole world. Her own world works the way she likes it. Everything is organized, planned, punctual and most importantly clean. She is nothing less but outraged when she misses her flight to Delhi and is compelled to board another, where sadly there is no first class and she is forced to sit beside people from that other world which disgusts her so much. And what more – right next to her is the seemingly worst speciment of that world!

Tujhe dekha to yeh jaana sanam.....

Manu is a chubby, moustached, loud, paan-chewing, gutkaa juice-spitting and sweaty individual who has no qualms of keeping his money notes in the front part of his pants. A rather exaggarated portrayal of a „common Indian“ perhaps? I wouldn´t know. He definitely seemed at times like a caricature, then again I just completely can imagine people like him. Mihika, drinking her important paani, is honestly terrified of his manners. But fate apparently wants to play with her nerves, resistance and even life, because after a series of unfortunate happenings Mihika and Manu find themselves stuck with each other throughout increasingly bizzare situations. And while Manu is trying to cheer his companion up, Mihika only prays the journey will be over soon....

The movie in itself is what I would call a typical road story, where everything is going wrong. In fact, I was just wondering what more can actually go wrong, and I was always showed that the more wrong is actually possible. Only the ending makes the film what it is though, and it is one of the reasons why a viewer shouldn´t ask questions while watching. All will fall into place eventually. The film can get a bit lengthy, especially during the first 40 minutes, but once our two main protagonists board a train there is not one boring minute. Overally predictable i guess, but it is one of those cases you don´t really mind. It definitely doesn´t take anything away from the movie´s charm.

Example of the movie´s BEAUTIFUL cinematography.

I am a huge Vinay Pathak fan. His ordinary, down to earth and unpretentious character of Manu is endearing despite all the habits which may seem purely disgusting. He never overdoes anything, be it the humour or emotions and his timing is flawless. This was the first film in which I´ve seen Lara Dutta in the lead. Previously I´ve only seen her blink and miss cameo in Fanaa and her short role in Billu. She is definitely underrated! She is not only gorgeous, but has a good comic timing and both her anger and her tears are believable. Plus this was definitely not an easy role and she simply nailed it. Mihika could have easily turned out to be a “reformed bitch”, but instead one takes an immediate liking for her in spite of her prejudices. By making a film like Challo Dilli she also took a risk hardly any of the A-list star actresses ever would. And she succeeds. And I can already know she will not get a single award....

WHY is this woman not getting roles opposite the Khans?

Akshay Kumar´s cameo is one of the best ones this year. It comes definitely as a surprise, and though his first appearance has (intentionally which is obvious) the „Khiladi“ feel, he does not become a caricature of himself, as it seems to be so popular in the films these days, but acquires his own identity. His character is highly likeable and Akshay, not trying too hard, as well.

Music doesn´t really stay in mind, but both songs and background score follow the story nicely. From the technical aspects however the best is cinematography. The makers managed to show various faces of both cosmopolitan and rural India in a short span of 2 hours beautifully. Challo Dilli is colourful, but not in the rather eye-soaring way Yashraj sometimes make their films, it really breaths both the hectic life of big cities and peacefulness of the rather deserted areas where time does not move ahead too quickly. True, one would wish the script was more tight, the first 40 minutes more funny, the sickly looking Yana Gupta´s item number was not there and other little things. The film is not perfect, but something tells me that was not even the intention in the first place.

I really enjoyed this one for all its differences from the „usual“ mainstream Bollywood films. Here is a film without a love plot, with a an unattractive elderly (though still brilliant) „hero“, making you think but not preaching. Charming to the core.

Welcome to the Red Tomato hotel.

Why don´t  you just kill me now?