Aitraaz

Directed by: Abbas Mustan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Amrish Puri

Released: 2004

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Few films are as problematic for me as Aitraaz. On one hand it seemingly adresses the issue of male rape and false accusation, on the other hand it outright condems women who are ambitious and demonizes statements which, taken out of context of the movie, are true and should be respected (i.e. This is my body and my decision if I have a child.) However what could have been a good psychological drama ultimately twists and turns and becomes a clichéd glorification of „traditional Indian values“ in opposition to wicked western ideas of sexual independence. Mind you, Priyanka Chopra´s character, the bearer of the „western“, is unlikeable and definitely the worst example of any culture one might think of. She is shown as highly manipulative and vengeful. Still I resented how she was made an unredeemable demon, while Akshay Kumar an innocent angel. But as the poster suggests, it is a „women´s world“ and men who do not conform suffer (ha!).

Whereas Priyanka in the film never gets a chance to elaborate on her motivation (unless one is ready to accept she is simply a basic and greedy bitch), Akshay plays the martyr with the help of the law-student-turned-domestic Kareena Kapoor (with really weird blond hair). His character, though, makes few questionable moves himself. He lies to an unknown girl because he likes her. He deceives her to win her affections. Fortunately for him she finds it cute and loveable, had it been me he would have a shoe in his face. He has a history of hitting women when angry. Upon Kareena introducing herself as Priya Saxena he only manages to stammer „Priya Sex.“ In other words veritable Prince Charming.

Alongside this suffering Romeo, Priyanka and Kareena represent the already mentioned two poles – the devil in anything not sanskaari versus Indian goodness, innocence and tradition. Heck, Kareena is even FULLY clothed while dancing on the beach, while bacground dancers are in bikini. The greatest difference between them however lies in their reaction towards pregnancy. Kareena is happy. Priyanka gets an abortion. One would have though that by 2004 Bollywood has outgrown the formula of the angelic/devious extremes, but unfortunately that was not the case.

On the whole Aitraaz comes as awkward. From Kareena´s hair colour to Priyanka´s seductive rolling on the floor. And the whole choreography. In the end I cannot shake the feeling that the whole movie did not really care for exploitation of men, and only used it as a veil for yet another film that demonizes women. The double standarts set by Akshay´s character are obvious too. He has no problem with oggling over a bikini-clad woman on the beach, but is insulted when other men react similarly to her when they see her photoshoot. Maybe I am wrong. That´s why the film remains problematic. Even if it was not, however, it would be a mediocre venture, with outdated sets, forgettable music, sloppy script and half-hearted performances. The only one truly into the character was the vamp - Priyanka Chopra, whose acting chops were not great back then. She is utterly beautiful in the movie still, and already showing the future Priyanka, who would not be shy of experimenting with her roles by taking a negative lead.

Devotional dance by the righteous to close this review.

Asoka

Directed by: Santosh Sivan

Starring: Shahrukh Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Danny Denzongpa

Released: 2001

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I love history which in many cases leads to my hatred for many a historic film. Because way too often it is taken more as an inspiration for a story, using names and background, but it ends up being so manipulated, so violated, that it is beyond my ability to forgive. Asoka, as I understand, is one such film. Yet it remained spared my hatred. Why? Because when I first watched it my knowledge of Indian history was equal to zero. All I saw was a touching story and well made film. It was only later, when my knowledge increased, that I realized how inaccurate from historical point of view it actually was. Because of this I understand why people have been let down by the film, and why they don´t like it. For me though it remains what it originally was – a good movie. In fact, better than (in my opinion) overrated Lagaan, which it released alongside with and was compared to in many aspects. And to give Asoka some credit, it stated at the very beginning it is not an attempt at recreation of history...

What it is a recreation of, though only partly and I don´t think they admitted it, is a Sunil Dutt/Vyjayanthimala film Amrapali. Asoka makers took the best elements of the story and added them to the historic background of Asoka and his character. And thus we meet Asoka, a prince in disguise, roaming in a foreign country, removed by the wish of his mother from the royal court, where his own brothers would like to get rid of him, since he is extremely capable, and they can only match him as far as ambitions go. Taking a common name Pawan, he encounters another exiled royalty – princess Kaurwaki and her little brother Arya, who are on the run from unknown murderers who took lives of their parents. Asoka and Kaurwaki fall in love, but fate is not kind to them. Bound by a promise Asoka cannot reveal his identity and just a few days of separation from the hunted royal siblings end up in disaster.....

The beginning of the film, especially the initial bits of Asoka/Pawan withdrawing into a self-imposed exile, is actually kind of sloppy. There is bit too much of dorkiness in the prince, in other words Shahrukh is that funny, adorable himself I love, but it somehow doesn´t fit the character. From the profession of love for Kaurwaki, however, the film becomes better and better, causing much of a heartbreak and reaching its bitter, but still satisfactory ending. During this time Shahrukh Khan truly ceases to be Shahrukh and bit by bit he is devoured by Asoka – the character, who comes alive through him. The helpless indifference, the pain that cries for revenge or little moments of gentleness, Mr. Khan gave it all his best.

I recall that Asoka was the very first film I have seen of Kareena Kapoor – and I cannot be grateful for it enough. Had my first film of hers been KKKG, I would probably hate her guts for quite some time. But instead she was introduced to me as Kaurwaki, daring, brave and yet not fearless, very feminine and very strong. I loved her. Sure, I had to tolerate her very much non-historic wardrobe and wondered how she managed to paint her eyes so elaborately even while on the run, but in the end Kaurwaki impresses. Strangely enough I rooted both for her AND Devi, a girl Asoka marries, to have a happy ending. I liked them both, as they were both so full of love and so deeply rooted in their principles. Danny Denzongpa completes the main cast, as reliable and admirable as ever.

Cinematography is – simply put – gorgeous. A times as if camera forgot about the characters and story, and lingered for a while on a minor detail, brought it up to its attention and admired its beauty. Musical score is beautiful – with an exception of the „evil theme“ stolen from the Lord of the Dance soundtrack – and Roshni Se has to be one of the most wonderfully picturized love songs ever.

As I have said before, the film lifts the most important moments from Amrapali. It doesn´t necessarily work as a period film, as mentioned before, but it works wonderfully as a love story with a historical background. And when you get used to Shahrukh´s long hair.... it´s even better :)

In fact... it makes him even more sexy....

Jab We Met

Directed by: Imtiaz Ali

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

If we were to make one of those obnoxious „the best of the past decade“ lists, then Jav We Met logically has to appear in it. And why just decade? It is one of those rare films that, I dare say, will always be relevant and loved. Appealing especially because of its simplicity and light-heartendess, yet not lacking emotions, Jab We Met is a great film with repeat value, that is given by a certain pleasant predictability of the plot, but at the same time being full of delightful surprises and funny twists.

Aditya Kashyap (Shahid) is a wealthy young man, who has interited a business from his late father not long ago. Yet he shows no interest in his work, and his personal life too is a mess. His mother had left the family years ago for another man, and the girl he loves is just getting married to somebody else. In a sudden moment of „burning out“, Aditya leaves his car and mobile phone on a street and after roaming aimlessly for hours he boards a train, without even knowing where it´s heading. Perhaps he would just let his loneliness and misery engulf him, perhaps he would have jumped out of the train, but instead he meets Geet, a young girl and, as it turns out, rather a nutcase!

Geet is everything Aditya is not. She doesn´t think, she just acts. She is confident and an optimist. She does what she wants. And she never shuts up. She is, in fact, the most talkative film character ever, it would seem, beating even Basanti from Sholay, yet staying „adorkable“ (while Basanti I just wanted to smack repeatedly with a dead fish or something). Within minutes Aditya is flooded with information. Where she is from, who are her relatives, where she studied and what was her dorm like and oh, by the way, she plans to elope and marry a guy her family would disapprove of. Within several hours and two missed trains later Aditya finds himself stuck with Geet in a cheap hotel, and then has to run away before the police, and finally soon after arriving at her home, he helps her to elope among other things.... And the wonderful thing about all this? We´re only as far as the interval!

Oh have we not seen the „opposites attract“ and „the jolly ones has a good influence on the moody one“ before? Sure we have (Junglee immediately springs to mind), but Jab We Met does great job with the same plotline, bringing lots of freshness, unseen situations and reaction, and ends on a rather crazy note, bringing us back to the endearing first half after some emotional bits, that easily could have swallowed the story and lead to a teary drama. But Imtiaz Ali did not let that happen. That Geet realizes what she wants doesn´t mean she is going to „grow up“ and be a perfect heroine repenting her previous wrong choices and turning into a responsible, obedient and shy maiden. She remains mad and we all love our Geet mad!

Kareena Kapoor probably found her role of a lifetime in the chatterbox Geet. And in return she gave her so much energy and life that Geet became pretty much iconic. Kareena is the soul of the film, believable in her dorkiness, madness and grief as well. At the same time it is impossible not to give credit to Shahid Kapoor. He may seem a bit overshadowed, because his character of Aditya lacks the drive and loudness of Geet, but in fact his restrained manner is just as believable and it is what makes Geet so unique – because we actually see the story told through Aditya´s point of view.

Adorned with pleasant song and painted with vibrant colours (yet not to the unrealistic point YRF likes to do it), Jab We Met is one of the high points of modern Bollywood filmmaking, proving that a simple romantic story will never really be out of fashion, and also gives me hope we have not seen everything just yet.

Talaash

Directed by: Reema Kagti

Starring: Aamir Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Rani Mukherjee, Nawazuddin Siddiqui

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There couldn´t be a better title for this film, because it is indeed primarily a movie about searching, where every character is on a lookout for something else. Ad to it that the full titles is „Talaash – the answer lies within“ - and wah! Rarely you stumble upon a title summing up the movie as perfectly, yet not revealing anything, just capturing attention. And the movie itself proves to be just as captivating. Before I go on, talking about the story and such, better be warned: if you have not seen the movie yet, and actually want to enjoy it, stop right here. I know what I´m talking about. This is one movie, that spoilers not only „spoil“, but extremely take away from an impact that the movie has a potential to make otherwise. I was, unfortunately, not lucky, and knew beforehand what the twist was. Talaash still made for an engaging and even thrilling watch. But I can just imagine how much more I would be taken by it if it wasn´t for some people who enjoy spoiling fun for everybody else.

"Who posted the spoilers on Twitter?"

 

In the dead of a night a fast speeding car, just like that and seemingly entirely without reason it takes a sudden turn and crashes into the sea. The driver, a famous actor, drowns. And so police inspector Surjan starts his search – for the reason of the tragedy, because nothing indicates a sabotage neither a suicide. The case doesn´t seem to have a satisfactory explanation, and the more police knows, the more mysterious and tangled it all looks. Surjan spends his days and nights at work. Not only he is driven by desire to solve the thing, but he is also trying to escape his own personal pain. He has lost his 8 years old son in a tragic accident some time ago. His shattered wife is only slowly trying to recollect her life. Her search is for the lost understanding with her husband. 

 

Surjan´s investigation brings him into the red light district of Mumbai, where he meets Rosy, a prostitute, who gives him some truly invaluable information. And more. Her presence seems to calm his nerves. He cannot talk to his wife, but he feels free to do so with Rosy. With her, he can finally rest for a few moments, without nightmares. Even Rosy is in search of something. She is searching – for justice, a revenge for her own death...

Spooky! That Talaash is a ghost film becomes apparent quite some time before Surjan himself realizes the truth behind Rosy, her tales of a lost prostitute three years ago and also a „special place“ she leads him to. Ad to it communicating with dead son through a medium, and you could almost classify the film as a horror. But the supernatural is not really the core of the film, neither is police investigation, nor are small episodes of side characters, who are also searching – pimps for wealth, prostitutes for freedom, and a crippled crook for a decent life of the woman he loves. Ultimately Talaash is a human tragedy and coping with the greatest loss a parent can bear. Whatever Surjan goes through, every person he meets, all that is slowly leading him to forgive himself and breathe freely again in the end. His search is for inner peace.

"And for that T-shirt. I love that T-shirt."

Talaash is not the best film of the last year, but it could be ranked among top 10. The concept is not entirely new overall, but it is new for Bollywood. It is different and well made. Performances are very good from everybody. There is both subtlety and realism to all of them. The film has three major stars, but none of their auras and personalities overshadows the film, making it a background to their own shine. If anyone around you is in search for a don´t-leave-your-brain-at-home film, Talaash might be what they are looking for.

Heroine

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar

Starring: Kareena Kapoor, Arjun Rampal, Helen

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Rather tiring, though not without potential, Heroine wanted be a glimpse into the "real" dynamics of the "reel" world, but it doesn´t offer an engaging story. Comparing this work of Bhandarkar´s to Fashion is not in place at all. Fashion had tempo, drive, progressive storyline, more than one interesting character. It was a good film. Heroine on the other hand is a never ending depression without the taste of success and cannot boast of anything - with the exception of Kareena Kapoor. Not even the glamorous bit of what is Bollywood is shown. Parties seem boring, photoshoots unhappening and award shows on the scale of local school´s recitals. Not even well-costumed but badly choreographed Halkat Jawaani salvages that.

In a way Heroine is not about the film industry or uncovering its vices. I don´t think there is anything that would shock anybody at least a bit familiar with film world and tabloids. Affairs, manipulations, promotional strategies, drugs and alcohol - we have heard about it way too often to be shocked when presented that in a movie today. Heroine is rather like being locked inside Mahi Arora´s mind without a possibility of ever getting out. One cannot see beyond what Mahi is seeing, cannot think beyond what is going on in Mahi´s head at the moment. And since Mahi is way too obviously emotionally unstable and completely unsuitable for the profession she decided to pursue, one feels uneasy the whole time. Mahi´s minor ups are immediately becoming deep lows. In spite of the film being completely about her, it is extremely difficult to actually give a proper description of Mahi. There are too many things never told or even touched. Who is Mahi? Where did she come from? Why did she start to act? Why is she the person she is? 

Not even her relationships are explored, although they obviously are the most important thing for Mahi. Her mother makes few brief appearances, but we get nothing but some well-meant, yet unconvincing lecturing. We get a glimpse of Mahi´s psychiatrist, who actually gives her an important impulse, but she is lost in the next moment. Divya Dutta proves her versatility as painfully realistic and even ruthless PR, but again, she is completely sidelined. Mahi´s love affairs with two different men are presented in a very one-dimensional way. And there are other people and other relationships presented, but never looked back again. One in particular was wasted - with briefly appearing legendary Helen. There could have been so much to that particular relationship, especially considering the climax.

The beginning seems to be a middle of some other film, the ending is a huge huge let down. After everything Mahi (and the viewer) has been through, we only get 30 seconds of a dull hint that fame sucks when you cannot bear it. Truth is, that the feeling of disappointment is something one gets throughout the whole picture. So many opportunities up for grabs, hardly any taken. When I think about it, we never really even get to know how big star Mahi is. Is she at the top, up there with the greatest, or is she simply just another actress with few hits under her belt, but loosing her position as soon as she makes one wrong step? To me it actually seemed Mahi Arora was some show-piece B-grade starlet whom nobody would take seriously. We get to see few bitchy actresses whom she is pitted against in the race for a role, but there is hardly any sense of competition. In this, more than anything else, I was lovingly remembering Fashion, where the rat race among models was chilling and unmerciful and one could truly feel it.

Kareena Kapoor delivers a nearly flawless performance. She is not over the top, she is Mahi. And Mahi is mad. She is mental and desperate. Eager to learn, but continuously surprised that things don´t last. Occupied by herself and absorbed in herself, pathetically indecisive and not sure of what she wants. I was not sorry for Mahi. She was too unfit for what she was doing and brought most of the bad things upon herself without anybody´s help. At the same time Kareena definitely sends out genuine feelings and emotions. She is not artificial crying machine – something that could have easily happened had some other actress taken up the role. The supporting cast is fine, but without much impact, Arjun´s dialogue delivery was so extremely monotonous I could cry. It was lovely to see Helen. To sum it up Kareena Kapoor delivers, Madhur Bhandarkar does not.

Agent Vinod

Directed by: Sriram Raghavan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Ravi Kishnan, Prem Chopra

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Fight it, if you will, but whenever a spy movie appears people expect to see a version of a James Bond. Stylish, dangerous but fighting for „the good guys“, witty, with awesome one-liners for every occasion possible, sexy and with women swooning at his mere presence. Vinod is no exception and he fulfills this generally accepted perception of a secret agent to the utmost, as is quite apparent from the first moment we see him all beaten up and interrogated by the bad guys in a terrorist camp in a middle of a desert, seemingly with no chance to escape his certain death. After causing a mild shock to the viewer by his pretended disloyalty and betrayed of his country he manages to escape with a minor help of his secret accomplice and even manage to rescue a beautiful girl wearing fancy desi outfit and having a flaw-less make up on in spite of being tied in a bag. And it´s time to get onto other things – like finding out why Vinod´s collegue had to die in Russia and what exactly is '242', which was the last info that the dead agent provided.

Vinod´s search takes us places very much undiscovered by the Bollywood camera lenses, from cold Russia to dusty and hot Morocco, to how-many-of-you-can-find-it-on-the-map Latvia and ultimately of course Pakistan and India. Spectacular cinematography gives each place its own identity and takes some of the best out of what the countries mentioned have to offer. The plot is interesting enough, but ultimately lacked the thrill and mystery factor for me, since unlike Vinod we can pretty much get the hint that 242 is actually a nuclear bomb. The film is cleverly edited. Usually it is easy to loose orientation among many flashbacks, but the editing really makes the best out of it and in this matter the film really gives the impression of being seamlessly put together. 

I´m used to pain....

...but doctor tell me the injection will not hurt!

Saif Ali Khan is today undoubtedly among the most talented and charismatic actors in India. He blends into the character of Vinod with admirable ease and the powerful subtlety he acts with is brilliant. He owns the film, that was apparently written for him, with him and about him, and gives him a chance to shine. The action sequences may not be completely realistic, but they seem to be, so why complain? The weakness of the film it´s the length of it all. The perfect editing needed to be more tight.

The villains are plentiful and impressive, all different from each other which makes it even more great. Leaving the villanious businessmen running the world aside, Prem Chopra takes the cake among them with his portrayal of a Moroccan gangster having no mercy with people but shedding tears over his pet camel. To get a glimpse of Gulshan Grover was also a pleasant surprise, after all I´m a 90s fan!

Why do we always have to be the bad ones?

Because we are awesome like that.

A character yet to be mentioned is Iram, or „Dr. Ruby“ played by extremely-good-looking-in-this-movie Kareena Kapoor. Why only now? Maybe because it seems appropriate to ad her to the final product without caring much if she has a place in it, which apparently is the case of the role within the movie. From the promos Iram was somebody I was looking forward to, but she is stripped of her mystery way too soon, and had nothing more to offer except for a very awkwardly choreographed and executed Dil Mera Muft – a truly not good a song that was originally propagated as the new mother of all mujras (Ha!). As if Iram didn´t belong in the story at all and Saif just really wanted his girlfriend in it. When you have a real life couple though, wouldn´t you spice the story up with something romantic? But all those hoping for some love on screen were hugely disappointed, as Vinod and Iram are anything but lovers. 

Dil Tera Muft Ka? I should actually charge you for having to watch that dance!

Obviously hoping for a slick and rocking action movie coming to us from Bollywood may not be a completely futile one. No, Agent Vinod is not it. But it is a great promise for the future.

The big 2011 overview

2011 was kinda meh for Bollywood. True enough, there were blockbusters, there were expectations, there were hypes and there were big stars shining. But overal the quality/entertainment level of the films was rather low, performances except for few nothing amazing and music was mostly forgettable. During the year I watched exactly 157 movies, out of which only 35 were 2011 releases (as I write I am still yet to watch The Dirty Picture and several more films like Shaitaan or Shor in the city).

The year started for me with No one killed Jessica, followed by the Deol opus Yamla Pagla Deewana. I have tried to give a chance to Dil Toh Bachcha Hai Ji – and you can read in this article how it ended. Next on the list was a film that sounded interesting...

Directed by: Kiran Rao
Starring: Aamir Khan, Prateik Babbar, Monica Dogra

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The last of the January releases I chose to sit through was Aamir Khan´s Dhobi Ghat....It is not a bad film... but nothing that I would label good either. Somehow it refuses to fit into such cathegories.  There is not much of a story and ending is apparently missing. I did like the overall atmosphere though, without ever being to Mumbai or India it engulfed me and let me with an illusion I actually, for a few minutes, understood. All other three actors (playing Shai, Munna and Yasmine) were great. Especially "Yasmine" touched me. In fact her "letters" were the most interesting and engaging part of the movie. Until Aamir discovers them, nothing makes much sense really. As for Mr. Perfectionist himself, he disappoints big time. Maybe because one would actually expect him to act, not just smoke and watch TV.

Directed by: Nikhil Advani
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Rishi Kapoor, Anushka Sharma, Dimple Kapadia

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

As February came it was Akshay Kumar´s turn to arrive on the screen with his first release of the year called Patiala House (just another in a long list of English titles that decorated the posters in 2011 – from already mentioned No one killed Jessica to Ready, Rockstar, Rascals, Desi Boyz and of course The Dirty picture just to mention a few). A heck lot of nonsense and unrealistic conspiring almost completely killed off a promising family drama with decent performances – notably from Rishi Kapoor AND Akshay himself, who has laid off his comedy king image for a while and regained some of the respect as an ACTOR (only to loose it again few weeks later.....). The film  didn´t really give me anything, but it captured some part of human relations well. Especially loved how everybody was urging Akshay to stand up to his father, but when he did they were all cowards and nobody supported him. How very human.

Right behind Akshay it was Priyanka Chopra´s first 2011 release 7 Khoon Maaf that hurriedly followed. It flopped. But to me it was one of the best films of the year, even though I´m aware that is a rather unpopular opinion. If nothing Priyanka truly impressed me – unlike her co-star from Fashion Kangana Ranaut, who messed up completely in Tanu weds Manu. It is truly unfortunate when a lead actress is the greatest weakness of otherwise enjoyable movie. March did not bring any great pleasant surprises either. You can read here what I thought of some of the releases, however one of the films originally scheduled for March I´ve only managed to watch much later, so it is missing from the article.

Directed by: Rohan Sippy
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aditya Pancholi, Prateik Babbar, Govind Nameo

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Now this is a movie definitely worth seeing. I really liked the way the narrative was done in the first part, the editing was very clever and in spite of various flashbacks not confusing at all. Performances are very good from everybody, but Abhishek is a miscast. Not because he would act badly, but because he is plain boring in the cop roles. Boring boring boring. It was during his scenes that the film would occasionally run short of breath. The guy needs to stop being a cop or a cool dude or a cool cop which is what he´s been trying to make his niché of, and find something else soon. Basically everybody else was more interesting. Deepika´s item number, which was so heavily propagated, is completely useless and not even well shot. Showstealer is none other than Aditya Pancholi, whom I used to hate in his 90s movies, but is growing on me more with advancing time.

Together with Dum Maro Dum Lara Dutta´s heartwarming, uncomplicated Chalo Dilli was the saving grace of April, which was also the month responsible for possibly the WORST of all 2011 releases. Yes, I´m talking of none other than Thank you, an Anees Bazmi film that could be used anywhere in the world as an example of how not to do cinema. Fortunately the month of May was more merciful enough to wipe Thank you and Anees Bazmi from my mind, even if only for a while. One of the best movies of the year was for me Stanley Ka Dabba. Rather unglamorous title is hiding a heartwarming, moving story, so full of love for life! Speaking about love, I´ve quite enjoyed two romantic comedies released the same month.

Directed by: Bumpy
Starring: Sraddha Kapoor, Taaha Shah

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I loved the girl! She had so much energy and I think she´s REALLY talented. She emoted terribly well. Plus she has nice voice. Plus she looks good. The pace it´s even throughout the film, it doesn´t slow down, it´s never boring. The music is catchy. And from beginning to end there was no place for any unrelated subplots that would slow it down. The special appearance by Ali Zafar, however brief, was a VERY pleasant surprise... However the revenge the girl took was far too drastic and violent for my taste. I would have preferred something more subtle. Also the use of swearing words was completely unnecesarry. Overally I really enjoyed this, even though sometimes against better judgement.

Directed by: S. Manasvi
Starring: Tusshar Kapoor, Amrita Rao

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Lot less impressive than Luv Ka The End, rather nice, "normal" film. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing outstanding in it. Some clichés, some plotholes, more clichés. No surprises, no big twists. Watching it however I realized how much I miss intensity in romantic films like this. There used to be so much intense emotions in older films about young people. Now... it´s just not there. Sad. Amrita Rao looks gorgeous and acts well, I wonder why is she seen so little and why is she not sought out for projects with actors like Imran Khan, Ranbir Kapoor? Instead she is stuck with Tusshar, who acts OK and has a charisma of a banana peel.

Directed by: Sunny Bhambhani
Starring: Sahil Mehta, Mannat Ravi, Vikay Katyal, Priyam Galav

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

And on a love note we have breezed into the month of June, riding the Love Express with a debutant director and debutant actors in four main leads. A simple story about two days spent in a train filled with two families going for a wedding, while the engaged couple is just not interested in each other, and trying to find a way out of the planned relationship. Perhaps predictable, but very sweet, and although one wasn´t exactly having fits of laughter, I had a smile plastered on my face throughout.

However at this content moment Anees Bazmi decided to attack again, even more agressively than before with the mess called Ready, for which I definitely was not ready. Salman Khan  not acting while Asin was being wasted and everybody swinging their hips in a terrible choreography while the unbearable Dhinka Chika was screaming from the amplions was more than I could digest. And the trend of lame comedies did not end there. Indra Kumar served us his Double Dhamaal (review coming eventually) and had us questioning our own intelligence once again. The two films releasing on the same day - 1st July, were both heavily propagated and especially the second one raise a lot of questions, expectations and curiosity. But before that just a few words about the first one.

Directed by: Puri Jagannath
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Hema Malini, Sonu Sood

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I didn´t really know how to watch this, how to treat this. I did get it was supposed to be a overview of sorts, a tribute to the body of work of Amitabh Bachchan, bringing out of the wardrobe his image of an angry young man.... with the difference this was an angry old man. And somehow, angry old men are not cool. And wearing what Big B was in the film, the way he behaved, made the character completely cringeworthy. None of the storylines did really capture my attention or stood out. One of those films I have forgotten as soon as they ended.

Directed by: Abhinay Deo
Starring: Imran Khan, Vir Das, Kunaal Roy Kapur

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Shit happens. Yeah, it does. I was not sure what to expect from this one either. I thought that I will be either hilariously entertained or utterly disgusted (the promos suggested the latter). Well, the film surprised - I was neither. In fact I don´t recall a film that would leave me so completely unmoved (into any direction). Several times I smiled. Several times I didn´t like what I saw. Overally the film seemed like a background score for me thinking about completely different things! Imran suffers the fate of Aamir in 3 Idiots - meaning he is completely overshadowed by his two friends, who steal the show and actually provide the laughter. I cannot help but shake my head in disbelief over the claims this is a movie that shall take Bollywood into a new direction. There really was nothing that revolutionary or different from other half mindless half witty comedies, except for the overuse of swearing language, which by the way has no point, and it´s offensive for the pure sake of being offensive. It doesn´t hurt to see the film, but it´s nothing not-to-be-missed either. The best thing about it is actually a quick pace and quick changes of situations.

After Stanley Ka Dabba another movie that really impressed me was highly praised Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (where for the first time I ever I did not feel the need to strangle Katrina Kaif on the spot). However Ajay Devgn´s Sigham  left me mostly unimpressed from a single reason only – throughout the movie I´ve had a feeling I have seen it all. Just last year in Dabangg. There was hardly anything different about it. And July was ended on a very low note with an attempt at historical drama that went just all wrong. Gandhi to Hitler can be considered the biggest joke the filmmakers played on us last year, at least I hope it was meant to be a joke. And then June turned into July.

Directed by: Prakash Jha
Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I liked this. Well, not all, but most of it. My liking doesn´t really have much to do with the cast or performances (which were all good), more with the topic and me being a university student just realizing how great business education really can be. In fact there were several lines in the films I´m definitely noting down, because there was so much blunt truth in them. Aarakshan is basically a one man show and that one man is this time charismatic and not ridiculous Amitabh Bachchan. Saif goes out of mind as soon as he leaves the screen. Deepika has great expressions. All she needs to work on is the intensity of her voice and some modulation, but she proved again to be my dark horse for the future years. First part was more tight and exciting then the second and to cut the film´s length down to 2 hours would have been a good idea as well.

And then of course Bodyguard came along.

Directed by: Siddique
Starring: Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Blockbuster after just few days, it was promoted as an epic love story that gives Kareena Kapoor her best role ever and Salman Bhai bhi. If there is one thing that I loved, really, really loved, it was Teri Meri. That song is awesome, full of feeling, very dramatic and yet not over the top. The picturization was good too, though Salman did way too much unnecessary running. I´m not going to say he cannot act, that wouldn´t be true as he used to act in good old days, but past few years he really doesn´t bother at all. Kareena, whom I learned to adore on screen, acts, but has nothing to work with really. Other characters are so completely sidelined it´s not even worthy talking about them, and poor villains had TWO scenes.... The fat guy trying his luck at being the new Johnny Lever annoyed the heck out of me, though I agree I loved his T-shirts stating "Six pack coming soon" and "Looking good is not a crime". The two main characters are very poorly drawn and basically boring, they don´t really go through any development - and neither does their relationship. In fact I still keep wondering where did the love came from? And similarly so I couldn´t feel for them as a couple, because the script and story simply didn´t give me a chance to feel for them, feel their love, nothing. The action was ridiculous. I can take a lot, but there is limit to everything. Way too many cheap computer effects. It was definitely better then Salman´s previous release Ready, but very overrated as far as box office goes still.

The second half of the year was considerably better, even if it held some real crap together with real gems. The better times were heralded by sweet, simple, predictable, but still highly entertaining Mere Brother Ki Dulhan, which in spite of starring Imran Khan and Katrina Kaif in the leads (none of them being a mind-blowing performers) was fine to watch.

Directed by: Ali Abbas Zafar

Starring: Imran Khan, Katrina Kaif, Ali Zafar

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

While on one hand Mere Brother Ki Dulhan definitely belongs to the better films of 2011 and offered me a pleasant enough watch, on the other hand it is one of those completely predictable films that need something special to make it work also on a second watch – a memorable performance, a smashing soundtrack, a write-it-into-stone dialogue.... and that this film does not really provide. The title itself pretty much gives away the the plot too.

Ali Zafar, an NRI settled in London, breaks up with his girlfriend (or rather – she breaks up with him and since we´re on a breaking spree also breaks his HD TV). Mere minutes later he phones his younger brother Imran Khan (living on the other side of the planet in India) and insists his brother finds him a bride (yeah, really). And Imran starts searching. After many crazy girls lining up he of course discovers THE one in the form of lovely but boring Katrina Kaif, who is boring even while doing illegal rock concerts at Agra, but to Imran she does not seem boring at all and soon enough he decides she is the right match for his brother. The criminally side-lined Ali Zafar was the best performer of the three main leads, the most natural and charming one, but he only gets some space in the second half, when he comes to India to get married. What is unknown to him is that Imran has managed to find himself in love with future bhabhi and now is not exactly keep to simply hand her over to his brother....

Nice and sweet, yet without repeat value. Mere Brother Ki Dulhan makes everyone in it likeable, but does not rise up above a standart colourful Yashraj romcom that the production house in question loves to churn out time and again.

 
At the other end of movie entertainment John Abraham´s Force gave us some serious chills as well as the most menacing new villains and in yet a different field Shahid Kapoor tried to sell his romance with Sonam Kapoor titled Mausam (review coming eventually) to the audience – unfortunatelly and deservingly he did not succeed. However by that time, having a Double Dhamaal hangover, Sanjay Dutt has sent his new baby into the world as well....

Directed by: David Dhawan
Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn, Kangana Ranaut

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Throughout I kept having Deewana Mastana flashbacks, however one would be looking for the same light-heartedness, same charm or level of performances in vain in Rascals. Sanjay and Ajay were wasted, which is sad, because they really work as a male jodi and both have great comic timing. However the OTT acting is not Ajay´s cup of chai at all. Kangana needs to stop doing comedies right NOW! She was awful from beginning to end. She did not share any chemistry whatsoever with either of the two main protagonists, so even their pursue of her was not really interesting to watch. I did not like at all the way women were portraited, if that is even the word for nothing but a vulgar flesh show. Sanjay Dutt should either stop criticizing actresses for what they wear or stop producing films like Rascals. The film is also a proof that David Dhawan has completely lost his touch.

I am no fan of romantic comedies, even less of teenage romantic comedies, and although I liked Luv Ka the End, it is really an exception. Because of that I was quite surprised that another film of the same genre was pleasant as well.

Directed by: Nupur Ashtana
Starring: Saqib Saleem, Saba Azad

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

With romantic teenage comedies it is never really about story, but about concept and form, the way the script is presented. MFK is presented well. Not as energic as Luv ka the end, not as funny either, but unlike Luv Ka The End, it has a nice romantic feel, nothing goes over the top. The performances are all natural and pleasant, music, though not groundbreaking ads nice atmosphere. A good timepass.

After MFK I watched mostly older movies, waiting for more new DVDs to come out, and trying luck with several more new films. However My neither Friend Pinto nor Tell me o Khudda or Always Kabhi Kabhie held my interest for longer than 15 minutes and so I really don´t have much to say about them, except maybe that Esha Deol totally falls into the clichéd cathegory of untalented star children. Sadly enough Shahrukh Khan, whom I love so much, did not really impress me (or anyone really) with his heavily promoted Ra.One (review coming eventually), but he got back on the right track later with Don 2 (of course full review is in store). However not even he gave a better performance than Ranbir Kapoor in Rockstar (a long review so coming soon), that for me became not only the most intense love story of the year – and the best film of the year, but also a modern days classic. As I have said at the very beginning, I have not yet seen The Dirty picture, and so here got the  last two films I´m going to mention in here.

Directed by: Maneesh Sharma
Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh, Parineeti Chopra, Aditi Sharma Dipannita Sharma

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

LVRB takes place in some weird alternative reality where Ranveer Singh is for every girl an irresistable sexy beast and from that moment on I was a bit wary because I find him neither handsome nor hot, or even interesting. The casting of the girls was much more spot on from demure Aditi to loud-nouted Parineeti, and of course very natural Anushka. Somehow however, Anushka did not matter to me in the movie. I couldn´t care less for her feelings and actually enjoyed the three other ladies in the first half of the movie much much more. Anushka´s entry into the film however, is brilliant. The story gets rather boring in the second half and climax is predictable, though not completely justified. I truly didn´t see where the love was supposed to come from or how, in matter of few days, it could have changed one´s personality completely. Ranveer has not much to work with really, except walking around showing off his body and being supposedly sexy. He was much less impressive than in BBB. His pairing with Anushka is highly praised all over the place, but to be honest they do not really "do it" for me. Music was blah, choreography bad. An OK film, but not much more than that.

Directed by: Rohit Dhawan
Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Deepika Padukone, Chitrangda Singh

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

For me personally the most enjoyable comedy of the whole 2011. In spite of the things that kinda sucked, it was still so enjoyable and fun! What I truly appreciated was the absence of cheap and vulgar jokes that are such a rage these days, and even though there definitely are several "sex related" scenes the soul of the film remains quite innocent. The highlight performances for me were John (whose comedy had me in splits), Anupam Kher (whose every scene had me in splits) and Deepika (who just really needs to work more on her dialogue delivery, but looks drop dead gorgeous and acts brilliantly in several scenes and is good in the rest). Chitrangda looks beautiful and does well in whatever she´s given, but I did not like her character, that indeed seemed somehow desperate and well, unneccessarily horny. I´m not really a fan of Akshay´s, but he was fine - and his "job interview" was perfect. Sanjay Dutt looked really bad and apparently the composers can take a rest while writing music while he´s on screen because they can always throw Khalnayak main theme out there and everyone is happy. The emotional scenes were unimpressive.

So that was the year 2011 in Bollywood through my eyes. Thank you if you managed to read through this loooong post. ;)