Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge

Directed by: David Dhawan

Starring: Salman Khan, Karishma Kapoor, Paresh Rawal, Om Puri, Anupam Kher

Released: 2000

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Often my readers accuse me of not being able to appreciate films which are meant to be „just fun“, films that are purposefully mindless, silly and unrealistic. They say I cannot enjoy anything that is not meaningful. And so I sat down and tried to think of a movie that was all that and I would have liked it. I did not have to think for long. A line up of such films exists and Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge (which at first confused me because the title was just too similar to Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge) is one of them. Coming out of David Dhawan´s workshop, it ranks among his better efforts, before he went into a long and fruitless period before being somehow revived by his (so far) latest outing of Main Tera Hero.

It is a story of Sapna (Karishma Kapoor), white-clad, long-haired, blue-eyed virginal niece of three rather eccentric uncles, who all make her their personal crusade by forcingly trying to shape her according to their own lifestyle. Thus the strong, wrestling sportsman tortures her with rigorous exercise, pious devotee insists on her spiritual development and the forever young disco lover just wants her to be a modern vixen. Naturally the poor girl wants nothing but to be herself, and so one day she secretly joins a group of tourists traveling to Switzerland. Among the travelers is also Raja (Salman Khan), already determined to make Sapna the Queen of his heart. But conquering her is the least of his troubles, since ultimately he will have to impress the uncles. All of them.

Judging by the wardrobe neither were sure of what the climate of Switzerland actually was like.

Now, you really cannot look for „meaning“ and „depth“ in this one, can you? But you can enjoy it immensely and I did. Perhaps because even the over the top performances seemed earnest, perhaps because it was cute and fluffy and funny without need to use profanities or lewd sex jokes. Maybe it was Johnny Lever dancing. Maybe I was simply in the right mood. Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge serves you comedy laced with youthful enthusiasm of the main leads and great combination of great supporting actors, and there are some hilariously choreographed (but back then highly cool) catchy songs (complete with puzzled foreign onlookers). Not all films that may claim to have the same hold my love, and I suppose many times I just go by instinct (and my, am I picky!). Some films just do not feel nice. This one does.

Unlike the horrendous Biwi No. 1, this film provides greatly for all Salman-Karishma shippers, among whom I count myself. They are one of the grossly underrated jodis. Neither of them is a stupendous actor, but they bring out the crazy best out of each other. They seem very well suited and there is cheekiness to them both which beautifully underlines their chemistry.

As usual my feminist side was not entirely happy with the movie, since there is lots and lots of men deciding for the girl in this film. Even the happy ending is ensured only thanks to Sapna´s grandfather. At few points it actually gets regressive (talking here about two scenes especially: when Sapna is immediately sexually attacked while thumbing a lift, and when Raja hits her when she is dancing with two horny men. Given both things were stupid of her, the whole thing played it on stereotype that INDIAN girls do not behave „like that“). Well, at least nobody makes a big deal out of Sapna´s change of image from baggy clothes and pigtails to sexy mini-skirts and fashionable hairdo.

So there you have it. That „pure fun“ film I like. Go and watch it. It might just be the right thing to brighten your afternoon.

Himmatwala

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Tamanna Bhatia, Paresh Rawal, Zarina Wahab

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

When I reviewed the famous (and overrated as hell) 1983 Himmatwala some time ago, I expressed a thought that any remake can only be better. I am not going to eat my words. At least not entirely. It is bad, quite bad actually. Maybe even as bad. But worse it is not. And frankly while it deserved severe criticism, I don´t think it was as horrible as critics made it sound. I don´t think they even try to be fair when it comes to Sajid Khan, who has never been their favourite thanks to his overconfident attitude that understandably rubs them the wrong way (me too, but he has yet to insult me personally.) In the end Himmatwala flopped – very much deservedly, but at the same time it is not the worst film of the year by far – something many have been trying to prove.

There are things that are different from the 1983 film (I don´t want to say „original“ since I am not sure it was „original“ - more like a remake of something too) and there are things that remain untouched. Unfortunatelly the elements Sajid Khan decided to keep are often what makes the whole movie seem regressive instead of initiating an avalanche of nostalgia among 30+ audience. And so a wife has to stay with her abusive husband, because you know – family honour! And evil women wear mini-skirts, so when they suddenly shift to sarees you realize they mended their ignoble ways. And an attempt at morally „right“ approach towards rapists may be understandable from a certain point of view, but again it is just violence and violence only. Threw in a gay joke or two, just to be sure you are funny. And if the audience did not get it, make it really obvious, that you are making fun now. 1-2-3-laugh!

I was glad that Ravi (Ajay) did not suffer from a memory loss, unlike his predecessor, and I liked how they changed his identity. Unfortunatelly Ajay Devgn may be a great action hero, but his attempt at comedy don´t go well. He is, much like Jeetendra, too old for the role, and if not that he is definitely too old for his heroine. Tamanna Bhatia, whom I really like and adore, have been making waves down in the South, but she is yet to make her mark on Bollywood map, and for her sake (and the fangirl in me who is ready to love her) I hope her next Hindi venture will offer her more scope. She does well in her small role, her expressions are delightful and she dances beautifully. Paresh Rawal in ridiculous get-up is not funny. And Zarina Wahab as the new-age suffering Maa has nothing on epic crying Maas of the past.

That the film is over the top, ridiculous and just full of loopholes goes without saying. Sajid Khan is hated by critics also because of making most ridiculous movies that, as many feel, are made to mock their intelligence. But my peeve against Sajid is a bit different: I don´t think he is a good story teller. Even simplistic, silly cinema can be worth your money if it keeps you entertained, but not this. Himmatwala is an example of lazy filmmaking, trying to ride the masalla wave, that, however, can only end up in a blind alley after a while.

The marketing line of „80s will be back“ did not lie, but who in the world wants Bollywood 80s back? It is actually quite depressing to think that 30 years have caused a very little progress in the minds of some people (quite a few people – Himmatwala may have fopped but it still earned around 60 crore). Oh - if you really want to see a hand-to-paw combat with a tiger, I recommend to watch the „rascalla“ scene from Om Shanti Om over this.

Dil Ka Rishta

Directed by: Naresh Malhotra

Starring: Arjun Rampal, Aishwarya Rai, Ishaa Koppikar, Paresh Rawal, Rakhee Gulzar

Released: 2003

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Was this a film or an Argentinian soap opera? Can´t decide for the life of me. It reminds one of a train wreck (or should I say a car wreck?) - you inwardly know from the start it´s going to be horrible to watch, but you just keep on watching. Mostly because you have no idea what to do and the feeling of being utterly helpless against silliness they are trying to sale you by being all so serious. This is definitely one of those films one wonders how did everybody manage to keep a straight face.

Who´s this guy anyway?

Arjun (with some really weird, unflattering hair that kept distracting me) plays a wealthy guy Jai, who supports charity and has a habit to talk to his dead mother´s anklets in time of need. He falls in love literally on the first sight with a beautiful teacher Tia (Aish) and soon after proposes to her. Much to his unpleasant surprise Tia is already in a relationship with a perfect guy, and hence Jai has to satisfy himself with creeping up on the couple here and there with painfully unfitting joyful music in the background as he does that (Hey hey hey... la la la.....). After he drinks too much one night, Jai causes a car accident. He survives, but his friend Anita (short and useless role for Isha Koppikar) dies on the spot as well as – gasp – Tia´s husband! Tia herself survives, but looses her memory. Her amnesia is that special Bollywood kind (see also Jab Tak Hai Jaan) when reminding her would kill her you know.

Because in Bollywood you´re supposed to root for creepers.

So now we have Jai, who, instead of going to jail for killing two people because he was driving totally drunk, offers Tia´s mom (Rakhee fuming flames and basically just waiting for Karan Arjun even though she´s in a different movie) he would whisk her, Tia and Tia´s little son into South Africa, where nobody can remind Tia of her past, and he would tell her the baby is his and Anita´s. Tia accepts all this without questions and pretty much from the next day till the end she keeps blabbering how important it is to move on from those who died (HA! If only you knew you´d be the mopy one!) and does everything in her power to romance Jai, who in his turn has bad conscience.

Mere Karan Arjun aayenge!

For God´s sake snap out of it, woman!

Indeed, every ten minutes felt like an episode of a soap opera, with mood swings and silly reasons for action. The ending is abrupt and pretty much useless. If you´re waiting for some drama when Tia remembers – she is probably the first on screen character who doesn´t and happily falls in the arms of her old creeper.

Arjun is a poor actor. I used to be quite impressed by him, but more films I see the more clear it is to me how limited and repetitive he is. There is no passion in him, and while his voice is pleasant to listen to, the intonation is far from being utilized. Aishwarya is better than him, but as much as I think she rocks in subtle, quiet, dignified and mature roles, she is a major pain in bubbly/funny/girly ones – and this is one of the latter. Somebody should stop her from laughing on screen! She dances beautifully, but no song is truly memorable, and to put give you a shocking news, I don´t think she looked good in the film either.

Dil Ka Rishta is a bubblegum nonsense, a kind of story I imagine Danielle Steel putting together to make some of her female readers teary-eyed. Not worth your time if you´re looking for recommendation.

Yo te quiero Don Jai!

Raja

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Madhuri Dixit, Sanjay Kapoor, Paresh Rawal, Dalip Tahil, Mukesh Khanna

Released: 1995

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There is really only one legitimate and valid reason why to watch Raja and that is Madhuri Dixit. Without being biased in the least, this was a film she owned completely and fully, brought life and energy into it, made it not just watchable but actually entertaining, and ultimately carrying it completely on her delicate shoulders to the hit status. The title may have been Raja, but just like three years earlier when Beta became Beti, one screening was enough for janta and critics to re-christen the movie to Rani. The movie is essentially a typical 90s Bollywood masalla, with pyaar between the hero and heroine being impossible due to money issues and family enmity, with lovely songs, memorable dance number and poetic justice coming hand in hand with the redemption of the villains in the end. All Indra Kumar style aka with logical loopholes that are brushed away with a daring grin and lots of over the top comedy.

The only reason to watch the film.

Two wealthy businessman brothers Rana and Vishwa have just proposed a future aliance of their little sister Madhu with Raja, just as little brother of another wealthy businessman Birju. But as soon as the engagement of the children, who are indeed fond of each other, is confirmed, Birju looses all his property because of a big fire in a factory. Not only poor Birju is a beggar now, but his wealthy friends call off the engagement, and to top it all he gets electrocuted (!) which results in him being mentally challenged for the rest of his life. Fortunately for him his little brother manages to take care of him, even though the two now live in the outskirts of the city in poverty.

The only reason to watch the film.

Years are passing by and soon little cute Raja grows into rather un-cute Sanjay Kapoor, dreaming about the little girl whom once he was engaged to, and refusing all other brides (kind of highly presumptious of him if you ask me). It may be bit of a trouble looking for her though, as she too has grown up and Raja doesn´t even know what she looks like. She would have to literally run into his arms for him to find her. And she does, following a lost bet. While she, unaware that he is her childhood friend, falls in love immediately with his unattractive wooden self, he only falls in love with the gorgeous, lively and enchanting creature AFTER he finds out she is Madhu (makes as much sense as a dog with a taco on its head). But her brothers, who by the way have not aged a day, are opposed to this love, intending to wed their sister to a rich Prince. What follows is a whole avalanche of situations that rate from silly to completely insane, including Madhuri in nothing but a loose white shirt romancing Sanjay in the presence of a group of archeologists who are all apparently over 100, the run away lovers believing that those who were after them were only hunting them to give them their blessing, breaking apart because of a huge huge misunderstanding and getting married in what has to be one of the most bizarre wedding ceremonies ever, unless you consider walking the seven circles around a flaming fountain with one of your brothers nearly burning to his death normal.

The only reason to watch the film.

Raja was supposed to be Sanjay Kapoor´s successful re-launch ater his previous flop debut, and till this day remains his only hit. Or rather the only hit he ever starred in as the main male lead, because as I´ve already mentioned the movie was ruled supreme by Madhuri. Sanjay Kapoor never was a hero material. He suited small, unchallenging roles of nice uncles and brothers, but as a lead he is painfully weak a performer. The one unchanging expression, zero voice modulation, unimpressive dialogue delivery and of course a complete lack of charisma makes one wonder if this really is a brother of Anil Kapoor (whom I do not really like, but his X-factor is just incredible). All others overshadow him completely, from excellent Paresh Rawal to briefly appearing Himani Shivpuri. And of course – Madhuri.

The only reason to watch the film.

When she appears on the screen, it´s like sun coming out of the gray clouds. She enacts her character with admirable ease, providing not only powerful emotional scenes, but also her very much under-used (by the filmmakers) comic sense, which proves to be simply delightful. She shows that she owns the possibly most expressive face ever and is able to change expressions of all kinds within a second – just watch the following song!

After the watching you really feel it was not Raja but Madhu, who was the lead. She is girly, spoilt and even rather snobbish at first, yet still good at heart. It was refreshing to see a girl going after the guy (and not vice versa) and that too so openly, boldly and being completely unashamed of anything just to get her way.

Raja is heavily flawed, yet still a classic. And if I haven´t mentioned it before, it´s because of one simple reason only. Madhuri Dixit. She makes it all worth it and more.