The Burning Train

Directed by: Ravi Chopra

Starring: Dharmendra, Vinod Khanna, Jeetendra, Hema Malini, Parveen Babi, Neetu Singh, Danny Denzongpa, Simi Garewal

Released: 1980

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Choo choo! This ride gave me quite a few surprises. Firstly, I was a bit skeptical about a film with a title basically giving away the whole plot. Secondly, the post-Sholay action films are not always my cup of tea. And finally there was Jeetendra listed among the cast, which so far has always been enough to turn me off a movie completely. However in the end curiosity got the better out of me and I ended up not only enjoying the this speeding and flaming journey, but even spent a whole day thinking about it and singing the songs from it in my head.

A mix of masala and American catastrophic genre, The Burning Train may not be completely original when it comes to situations it chooses to show, especially as the big tragedy starts, but at the same time it manages not to feel wanna-be-ish. It starts like a standart Indian masala – since childhood Vinod and Ashok were the best of friends, brushing aside easily angered Randhir (and being actually quite assholes to him for no reason), and the relations remained unchanged even after they grew up into Vinod Khanna, Dharmendra and Danny Denzongpa respectively. After being pushed out from a little train by Vinod, after being rejected by Parveen Babi in favour of Vinod, as well as being rejected as a supervisor and creator of a new luxury train in favour of Vinod, Randhir decides that enough is enough and once the ambitious „Super Express“ is launched with great fanfare, he has a way to sabotage the train and thus taking his merciless revenge. Soon enough Super Express is racing through the countryside with no breaks. And to ensure the film title is accurate, somebody leaves the gas running in the kitchen.....

From the beginning of the ride we are one by one introduced to quite a few people and couples, each having a little story of their own to told – a pregnant woman, a smuggler on the run and a detective going after him, a newly-married couple, a teacher supervising little kids...... Most notable among them being none other than Ashok and Seema (Hema Malini), who have once upon a time planned a wedding, but all went wrong and they drifted apart, and then there is also a thief Ravi (Jeetendra) hoping to rob the runaway bride Madhu (Neetu Singh).... As the film progresses, everything that can go wrong does, to the point one asks themselves what are the chances.

Flaws in logic bugged me. It is great that we have heroic men willing to take a risk, but why in the world would you not try and lessen the possibility of killing yourself? Why, when they first decide to climb on the top of the train in order to reach the locomotive, don´t they normally walk to the first boogie right behind it and THEN climb out? Not only safer, but also lot quicker, and would have spared us the whole burning drama. I guess our heroes had the logic blackout for the sake of the film not to be called „Speeding train“. This was not the only instance when I had to roll my eyes and accept that movie logic is not even a distant cousin of real life logic.

Super Express has more than an impressive starcast. There are so many well -known faces it was impossible to list them all above. From Dharam and Vinod and Jeetendra, to their three girlfriends and Simi Garewal singing religious songs with bunch of kids and many, many more. Everybody does their job well (except for Hema Malini, who just fails to impress me yet again, but thankfully has not much screentime), nobody really overshadows anyone and the many pieces of the star puzzle fit nicely together. As I have mentioned, I was properly shocked by actually liking Jeetendra. I don´t know what happened to him later in the 80s, that he became was utterly boring, bad and ridiculous, but here he was watchable enough. Makes one wonder what it was that kept the filmstars so much without ego, because there is no way one could pull off three major male and three major female stars in one film casting coup today.

The Burning Train has a great thrill and tension factor. The pace is even and not slowed down by the songs (brilliant album overall – meaning you remember them all after just one listening!) or emotional scenes. There is not time to loose as the fire gets nearer, and so the filmmakers do not loose it – something that is not always considered an option. One only wishes there was more shown about our villain Randhir, then again I suppose we are not supposed to feel for him, no matter how unreasonably awful our heroes had been to him.

Himmatwala

Directed by: K. Raghavendra Rao 
Starring: Jeetendra, Sridevi, Amjad Khan Kader Khan, Waheeda Rehman 
Released: 1983

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Classic by the influence it had on the fashion of filmmaking at its time (which kind of explains why 80s mostly sucked), and one damn overrated film when it comes to quality, Himmatwala is better to be avoided, unless you are in mood for a boring heroism of a ridiculous hero, some bad acting and unintenionally hilarious tragedies. Himmatwala also failed to give me what I wanted: Sridevi. Because ironically, although this is the film that catapulted her to stardom practically overnight, she has next to no role and 80% of her screentime is focused on her waist-down. And she is no miracle in the film either, in spite of her undeniable screen presence.

Cause darn it was not acting that made her the star of Himmatwala.

But let me introduce you our hero first. He wears the coolest 80s fashion, he sports the awesome Elvis haircut, his name is Ravi and he is definitely too old for the role. After years he spent studying he got his degree in engineering and now returns to his village. He is shocked to find out his mother (who in real life happens to be just six years older to him – and that she is my beloved Waheeda Rehman makes this crime even more horrible) and younger sister have sold their house long time ago and are living like beggars in dirty huts. Why? Here the sob story: Once upon a time his father was a respected school master, but after he testified against local rich villain Sher Singh he was trapped by him and accused of a rape. He is ostracized and leaves his family without a word. (and Ravi apparently suffers from amnesia, because he doesn´t remember a thing from all this, in spite of being at least 7 years old at the time). The broken wife of the teacher decides her son should become a big man by studying in the city (while her daughter is obviously not good enough and can happily slog and live in poverty.)

 So now the village is completely under control of Sher Singh (who has a really bothersome and IMO needlessly complicated way of killing his enemies, involving railtracks) and on mercy to a whim of his spoilt and pretty beti (this is where Sridevi´s leather pants make an entry). But Ravi is not afraid! Ravi is and educated man capable of beating anyone up with his hands as well as never ending motivational speeches about duty and righteousness, that will make your head ache. And then... you guessed it. Ravi triumphs over Sher Singh, turns his daughter from a spoilt kid in leather pants into a Sati Savitri wrapped exclusively in sarees and lives to see the day his father returns home. Meanwhile he saves India from post-flood apocalypse, giving us a song with... corpses.

Jeetendra I just don´t get. Every film I´ve seen him in I found his a very bad actor. No dialogue delivery, no screen presence, no body language. And as already mention, too damn old to be a fresh graduate running around the trees with a child-like Sridevi. She in her turn does what the director wanted her to: making silly faces and speaking in squeeky voice. It has been proven lots of times she is capable of so much more, but sadly this “cutesy” act became her main image. To give credit where it´s due her Naino Mein Sapna dance number is a highlight of the film, and really addictive. Rest of the songs left me rather cold (except for Taki O Taki, but I´d rather not mention Jeetendra and his “jumping Jack” dancing style) and Wah Wah Khel has to be one of the most retarded songs and picturizations I´ve ever seen.

Supporting cast boasting of great names like Amjad Khan, Waheeda Rehman and Kader Khan, don´t leave much of an impression either. Amjad is not a scary villain in this (what a contrast to Gabbar from Sholay!), and why Waheeda did this film, being as picky and generally having a good script sense, is beyond my understanding. Apart from making me loathe the name „Ravi“, Himmatwala showed me that some films just cannot last in the long run and don´t stand the test of time. I don´t think Himmatwala has anything timeless and transcending the years. I would only recommend it to die-hard Sridevi fans, and that too purely for research purposes. Better go and watch the iconic Naino Mein Sapna on youtube and that on repeat (at least her dancing ability was fully put to use!). I am largely sceptic about remakes, but frankly, I think the new Himmatwala, that will be here soon with bells-swinging Ajay Devgn (also too old for the role. Meh.), can only be better.

Mahaanta

Directed by: Afzal Khan

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Madhuri Dixit, Jeetendra, Amrish Puri

Released: 1997

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Mahaanta is one of those films I tend to pretend do not exist, because it is one of those films that cause me an acute pain as a Madhuri Dixit fan. In making for almost 9 years, by the time Mahaanta came out it was badly outdated in all aspects. The star-cast, that must have been extremely impressive in the late 80s, when the film shooting actually started, was, by the time it released, almost exclusively considered veteran and non-happening (apart from Sanjay and Madhuri). The story too was one of those bloody thrillers about revenge so popular at the time, but no longer relevant in the post Hum Aapke Hain Koun and Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge era. It wasn´t handled well either.

"Why were all my scenes cut out and my presence in the film reduced so much?"

"You are too old to be a heroine. Better you face it soon."

Honestly, I don´t know where to begin. The film is extremely boring from the start, and to be honest I couldn´t really follow what was happening. There was Jeetendra, already looking 60, but playing a young man, I caught a glimpse of the beautiful Poonam Dhillon (and my, does she disappear like a rock in the ocean not to be heard of again in this film!), but mostly the story seemed to focus on devilish Amrish Puri, who runs illegal business and has brave, but stupid police officers murdered. And then, out of nowhere, Sanjay Dutt appear to save the day and Jeetu´s ass (just like that, no explanation given). And in the next moment he´s wearing a tight yellow Speedo T-shirt, buying sarees for his bhabhi in a supermarket, and falling in love with the gorgeous, though horribly dressed Madhuri, as she´s passing around. However, Amrish Puri´s „son“ falls in lust with her (no, that isn´t a typo) and to get her he tries to rape her, and when he gets a beating, asks daddy to get him the gal.

DAT SPEEDO!

By threats to her and Sanju Amrish forces Madhuri to a wedding, but Sanjay having none of that manages to steal the bride for himself and marry her. And from this point on, the story gets even more boring and confusing, with more kills and more raping, and Jeetendra circling around as a righteous protector of the law while Sanjay turns into an avenging killing machine and having a song after he murders every single one of his enemies (sorts of „Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-nine bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, Ninety-eight bottles of beer on the wall“ gaana). Until in the end Sanjay and Jeetendra have a Dostana moment of mutual forgiveness and renewed love for each other. Doesn´t you head hurt just reading? Now imagine actually watching all this in span of approximately three hours.

"I brutally murdered a guy just now. Sha-la-la-la-la!"

None of the actors gives a really bad performance, but none excels either. Jeetendra is boring, Sanjay´s character actually rather unlikeable, Amrish Puri gives us his standart staring villain and Madhuri doesn´t have a big role, especially in the second half she only appears for the songs - a reminder that she signed the film in the late 80s. Heck, Shakti Kapoor is on the screen more. Music is fine and catchy enough, although picturization of Chule Chule makes Sanjay Dutt look like a blind, deaf and unfeeling wooden log, because to sleep with your own wife would probably take away your super powers or what. Let´s just smack her across the face, that´s right. Just like when she said she loved you. Indeed, Sanju may love Madhuri in the film, but I have no idea why would she love him so dearly, cause treats her like dirt most of the time.

Saajan-wali Madhuri.

DTPH-wali Madhuri.

All those years it was in making ruined the film completely. I´m completely sure Sanjay and Madhuri´s story was just a supporting one to the main of Jeetendra and Poonam Dhillon, or at least there was loads more of Jeetendra and Poonam than what we´ve got to see eventually. Scenes were being rewritten and reshot, which we can perfectly document by seeing fresh and happy Sanjay vs. tired and weary Sanjay who just got out of jail, Madhuri with skin problems and black curly hair from the times of Saajan and Madhuri with flawless skin and brown messy hair she sported post 1996, and of course Sanjay´s mullet is ever-changing, not staying the same in two scenes.

Mahaanta is a pain. In the hearts of Madhuri fans like me, in the brains of all the sane movie-watchers, and if you manage to sit through it all at once, it can easily give you a pain in the...

"Baby, let´s make a baby!"

"No. I haven´t kill everybody in this film yet."

"WTF dude?"