Neerja

Directed by: Ram Madhavi

Starring: Sonam Kapoor, Shabana Azmi

Released: 2016

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I have never heard the name Neerja Bhanot before this movie was announced and brought to my attention all those months ago. Learning the story of this brave, brave young woman moved me greatly, and today I wouldn´t hesitate to list her among the few people in history that we should indeed be inspired by and remember. The tricky thing with biographical movies is that they mostly rise and fall with the abilities of their cast. The name of Sonam Kapoor did not fill me with hope. But I was wrong. So go ahead and read below why I have no qualms admitting it.

The greatest weapon and strength of Neerja is not the direction, the performances, music or camera work. It is the underlying fact of the events actually happening in reality. This knowledge is with the viewer from the first moment to the last, perhaps because of that, because one knows how this ends, small details shown about Neerja are more poignant and touching than perhaps they would be with a fictional character. There is little to complain about when it comes to the technical aspects of the film, everything seems apt and well executed. Things like winding the tape with a pen, as well as Rajesh Khanna´s posters on the closet doors are beautifully evoking the mood of the 80s.

What to say about Sonam Kapoor as Neerja? I have so many reservations towards the girl as an actress! And I am not going to praise her as "great" in this film either. Because she wasn´t great. She literally became Neerja on the screen. There wasn´t a single moment, a single scene or second in which I would see Sonam Kapoor as herself (something she does on regular basis in most of her other movies). There wasn´t any dark, intense brooding, which so often accompanies "great" performances of male actors, nor was there any passionate speech on the injustice of the society (which marks "great" female performances most of the time). Everything Sonam did as Neerja felt natural, never over the top. Perhaps that is why her performance felt real - with Neerja she was not creating a new, unknown character who is made up. She could research an actual person, listen to and read what others had to say. And she managed to slip into all that seemingly effortlessly. She did a beautiful job, and I hope she continues to surprise me. Her rapport with other actors, especially Shabana Azmi, was delightful.

Neerja´s failure of a marriage back story is very well edited into the main plot, showing how previous experience has probably helped to shape her character and influenced her decisions. From what I had managed to gather the film is fairly accurate and that makes it even more painful. Perhaps my only criticism would be about the movie´s length. When the chaotic climax came I realized there was still over twenty minutes of the footage left! And even though the scenes following seemed important from the human point of view, I wouldn´t be as tolerant of them had it, again, not been a true story. The effect of Neerja´s violent death and deep horror and sorrow I felt over it was dilluted bit by bit by everything that followed, including the Shabana Azmi speech. I understand that was to be the actresses´ big moment in the film, yet by the time she could wipe her tear I have lost my own. (Do I seem heartless now?)

As a movie it works very well. I guess it wouldn´t be too exciting for casual movie goers craving a good thriller. But as a tribute it works wonderfully. And everyone should know who Neerja Bhanot was.

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo

Directed by: Sooraj Barjatya

Starring: Salman Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Anupam Kher, Neil Nitin Mukesh

Released: 2015

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I like certain level of predictable in life and Rajshri films, especially those directed by Sooraj Barjatya, have quite lots of it. You can always count on a film about a big family which upholds traditions, bursts into a song every five minutes and there is no shortage of earnestness so melodramatic it is hardly seen in normal life. The plot is paper thin, but who watches this director´s movie for plot and conflict? We watch for the unearthly sweetness, for parampara, for colourful songs and attractive people in them. Does Prem Ratan Dhan Payo live up to the standards set up (and never scaled) by Hum Aapke Hain Koun? Not quite, though it does try its best and even contains several things I never would have expected.

The unexpected thing no. 1: The raja who could not keep it in his pants. The family this time has fewer members than we are used to (only 4!) and they are not in loving unison at all. The reason? They are all children of a certain raja, but they do not have the same mother. They don´t even have two same mothers. They have three, one of whom was not even a legally wedded wife. When she is driven out of the palace with her two daughters, those daughters logically carry a strong grudge. Then there is Neil Nitin Mukesh in the most pathetic and ridiculous mode I´ve ever seen him in (and he is rarely great to begin with) as a younger brother, who hates his older brother because evil secretary has sabotaged everything he had ever asked for while posing as a faithful servant. Considering every request could be granted by simply asking personally, this seems like a very flimsy excuse for a raging hate, that leads to repeated attempts at murder. Then again I suppose a guy who thought that building a shiny mirror palace for his children will solve every problem was probably destined to fail at raising his kids from the start.

The unexpected thing no. 2: Actual murder! Not accidental death or passing because of old age. We get a murder and even a shot of a hanging body. Graphic? No, not by any filmi means. Unexpected in a movie like this? Hell yeah. Other than this, however, the evil plotline is completely ridiculous, simply because Sooraj Barjatya is great at presenting samdhis humming to a joyful melody, but sucks at creating tension and a more complex conflict. All the bad guys are also responsible for 90% of bad acting in the movie.

Neil himself represents 70% of that.

The unexpected thing no. 3: Sonam Kapoor. As Princess Maithili she is among the lot of more or less demure, obedient Barjatya heroines, fortunately the curse of “cabbage personality” has missed her. In fact she may be my favourite female Barjatya character after Nisha-ji from HAHK. From capably running a charity organization to openly longing some gentle physical love, she is a person with life clearly reaching beyond the palace walls and making rotis. Thus it seems even more unfair that the ultimate decision to follow her heart is snatched away from her, no matter how happy the ending. Sonam manages to be delightfully demure and without trying to be spunky and bubbly (death for a young actress). Her somehow theatrical acting has a grateful background in the all but realistic universe of Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. She is good.

The unexpected thing no. 4: Sonam and Salman are not an awful jodi. Be it because of filters on Salman´s face or whatever, the twenty years between them are still awkward, but on the screen they looked good. Salman himself, so bulky and muscly his neck looks just weird and you can´t dispute that, carries the movie forward, mostly devoid of stupid one liners and threatening poses, that had made him a caricature more than an actor in the past few years. His performance doesn´t shake the ground (except that one time in the mirror palace, literally), but counts among his better ones in this millenium.

The unexpected thing no. 5: I enjoyed it. More than I had thought I would, and in spite of everything cheezy and silly that occasionally made me face-palm. Even in spite of Anupam Kher, repetitive in his 1885^th role of paternal figure, that cannot be distinguished from others. Even despite the fact that we spent ten minutes on a really weird football song while more interesting things were apparently happening elsewhere. Prem Ratan Dhan Payo is an easy watch, and a pleasant one too if you are in the right state of mind. Most of the songs merely pass you by, but the title track is catchy enough to get stuck in your head. I know what I´m talking about. I´ve been singing and humming it since Friday....

Please get the song out of my head bhaiya!

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

Directed by: Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra

Starring: Farhan Akhtar, Divya Dutta, Sonam Kapoor

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

A biopic and a sportsfilm – two genres that do not count among my favourites. Yet Bhaag Milkha Bhaag crosses the borders of both and becomes, above all else, a complete emotional ride – without a trace of emotional blackmail that often plagues biopics (and Bollywood movies in general). Based on the life of famous Indian athlete Milkha Singh the movie tells a story of much more than just amazing achievements in sport. It is, in its heart, a story of a person, of a character development and growth, that is influenced by trying times, big challenges and inner conflicts.

Touching on India/Pakistna partition, an issue quite sensitive even today, even drawing from it as the foundation stone of the whole plot, Bhaag Milkha Bhaag manages not to feel political at all (not to me at least). The struggle and tragedy which we learn about as the film progresses, is of a very deep personal nature. There is no propaganda for either side, just an attempt to convey the harsh reality of the time and event, a reality that thousands and millions have not yet made peace with. Milkha in the film doesn´t hold a grudge. He holds a pain. Some may think I cannot have emotional connection (being neither Indian nor Pakistani) with the story, but frankly a family being drawn away from their homes and even murdered is a concept that, unfortunately, my own country and even relatives are familiar with. Horrors brought upon population because of big political decisions, no matter whose and for what, are a daily occurrence since the dawn of time. Bhaag Milkha Bhaag is not putting blame, is not pointing fingers. Tragedy simply happens because of circumstances of its time, and the film is not about taking a revenge, but about facing the past – and ultimately forgiving and moving on.

Farhan Akhtar was really good and he deserves all the praise for all the immensely HARD work he put into the role. It is definitely his best so far and may be also the one with which he will go down to history. There was not a single second in which he wouldn´t be thoroughly believable. He owns the movie. As a case of exception confirming the rule the child actor playing young Milkha was extremely good too, carrying some of the most important scenes on his shoulders and breaking your heart. Divya Dutta as his doting, devoted elder sister is also perfect. Their on-screen relationship is by far the most intense and moving one. Sonam Kapoor may be the most „starry“ name among the cast, her screentime is extremely limited though. Being associated with the film still helped her position in the industry, previously rather questionable. She is back on the map for now and hopefully will continue to do good work. As a simple village girl Biro she is really sweet and looks very pretty, She is so easy to look at one doesn´t want her to open her mouth and ruin the effect, but to be fair she did well overal in this. Her bits and the ending are the best parts of the movie in fact.

If there is a flaw, then it is only a teensee complaint that it is too damn long. If it was at least 30 minutes shorter it would be more gripping. Then again when I think about it, I cannot really think of any scene as useless, waste of time, and if I was handed the editorial scissors I would end up in a complete dilemma. Everything has its place in Bhaag Milkha Bhaag, everything seems essential to the story and character development. Perhaps the songs could have been done without, or be only incorporated into the background – the one in Australian bar was actually kinda awkward. So basically I was a bit bored during the first hour, but cannot think of much the film could have done without.

The story of „the Flying Sikh“ is inspiring both on professional and personal level. Sometimes facing ones pain is much harder then breaking records. But it should be done.  Because without forgiving there can be no healing.

Players

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Omi Vaidya, Bobby Deol, Sikander Kher, Vinod Khanna

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

How can you take seriously somebody named Charlie Mascarenhas as a mastermind high-class, next-to-supernatural-hero thief? Even more so when he is played by Abhishek Bachchan (who just never learns)? Players (or by a more precise title „Thiefs“) was supposed to be a rocking action packed multi-starrer, but maybe it would have been better if the film was called off once people like Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor decided to say no to it, because frankly, though the cast is full of known names, none of them really sells on their own.

The „player“ Charlie with his awesome and genius mind, finds his way to super secret information about a transport of a huge amount of gold from Russia to Romania, which immediately becomes his next goal. However he´s not naive enough to think he can pull such a robbery off by himself, and so after a consultation with the best of the best players (read „thieves“), the aging and jailed Victor Dada (Vinod Khanna) he puts together a team of the best thieves with different abilities. His romantic interest Rhea (sexy but somehow boring and unpleasant Bipasha Basu) is to be useful in getting information out of certain men, then there are a master-disguiser Sunny (Omi Vaidya), explosives expert Bilal (Sikander Kher), a magician (Bobby Deol) and a hacker Spider (Neil Nitin Mukesh). And of course the super cool Charlie. However soon after actually pulling off the robbery Charlie finds out someone may have outsmarted him.... and there will be a hell to pay.

"Wait. Somebody stole my wallet. Call the police!"

What kills Players are weak and unimpressive performances, artificial dialogues and in spite of some good twist and turns a considerable level of predictability (though the last may be just my problem, I always happen to know the bad guys from the start, don´t ask me how). I actually really liked the first half, as most of the bad acting and questionable script was compensated by a well made action sequence and nice speed that did not give one too much time to analyze. However after the interval it all slowed down and somehow lost purpose and whatever thrill there was left.

We are sitting in the middle of Siberia and whole Russia is looking for us...

...so let´s drink champagne from fancy glasses we did not forget to pack.

Abhishek is someone I never minded, but I still maintain what I´ve been saying for the past year - he needs to STOP acting cool guys with brilliant minds, because he just doesn´t deliver. Perhaps now after Player, Game and Dum Maro Dum flopped he will get the message? Unfortunatelly for him I think it is too late for him to reinvent himself (hoping to be proved wrong). Sonam has definitely improved, she does not make me cringe everytime she opens her mouth anymore, however she disappoints when it comes to anything emotional. There was NO difference in her expression whether she was flirting with Abhishek, casually serving food or wathching her father being shot. Bipasha is someone whom I fail to like, she just doesn´t pick good roles and just like with Abhishek it seems she is only good for one type of roles AKA we´ve seen it all before. Neil is by far the best, however still far from being impressive. All the actors (ironically with the exception of Johny Lever) give you the impression they totally do not care about anything, least of all about acting. 

Let´s lay down the wreaths and bury this film in some dark corner of our minds.

Thank you

Directed by: Anees Bazmee

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Bobby Deol, Sonam Kapoor, Irrfan Khan, Rimi Sen, Suniel Shetty, Celina Jaitley

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I never have great expectations from Anees Bazmee, but he made it to a completely new level of turning me off with „Thank you“. The title itself is good for nothing, as it doesn´t really capture anything the films is about. But maybe that was the aim, because who would watch a film titled for example „Cheating on your partner is fun“ or „Immoral guide how to mislead the gullible females“? Because that is what you should expect if you ever have enough courage to hit the play button of this film.

Bobby, Irrfan and Suniel are three friends, all married (to Sonam, Rimi and Celina respectively) and all ungrateful kaminas, who will not let any opportunity to lift somebody´s skirt pass. Irrfan is the most experienced cheater, while Suniel and Bobby are learning from him. And it is all oh so much fun up until the moment Sonam (I really did not bother to remember the character´s names) starts suspecting something may stink in her little homely paradise. What to do? Her friend Rimi and Celina advice her to hire a detective, who will spy on Bobby and report his findings to her. And thus we are introduced to a saviour of marriages, protector of love, a true Mohabbat-man, Akshay Kumar. And he comes to them with a revelation – their husbands are bored.... What follows is anything but innovative line of women trying to humiliate their husbands and the husbands trying to conceal their affairs and turning against each other in attempts to save their own skin. If there is a humor in there somewhere, I guess I missed it.

The three kaminas

Plot-craters are plenty, music below-average and the moral of the story is either none (the better case) or puke-worthy (So it is OK and fun when husband cheats on his wife, but when a wife cheats on her husband it´s gross and major sin, but it is still the most right thing to do to teach your other half a lesson, after which you both have to forgive and love each other faithfully for the rest of eternity..... what?). And also, since women are just really dumb creatures, they need a man (Akshay) who has never met them before to tell them how to behave. While the thought of forgiving one affair remains an acceptable option (though not in the circumstances presented by the film), who would forgive a notorious cheater, who by the way treated you all your life like a piece of shit?

The three gulliable creatures (commonly reffered to as "women")

Already under water, the ship with the name „Thank you“ sinks even into greater depths of cringe-worthy under the weight of awful performances. Akshay Kumar does his usual with the change of not being funny at all. Irrfan Khan delivers with an ease some kinda funny one-liners, but overall is wasted. Suniel Shetty has more like a blink and miss appearance. Bobby Deol just doesn´t deliver in any department. Celina Jaitley is watchable, though has about ten minutes and ten sentences in the whole movie, Sonam Kapoor proves she cannot act to save her life. Her dialogue delivery is awful, voice modulation non-existent, expressions painfully limited and body language as well. The only saving grace is Rimi Sen, who steal whatever is left to be stolen. She is natural, funny and likeable, though even she looses her identity once the film reaches the climax.

Vulgar, pointless and sexistic, not worthy of first viewing, leave alone the second. The worst film of 2011 for sure.

"Kill the author of this review! Now"

Minireviews: Romantic comedies of 2010

I hate luv storys

Directed by: Punit Malhotra

Starring: Imran Khan, Sonam Kapoor, Samir Soni

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

One of the absolutely weakest films of 2010. Let´s face it: Imran Khan is a sweet boy but an average actor and Sonam Kapoor is a pretty girl and a below average actress. The best thing about IHLS was ironically their pairing, since both are visually perfect for chocolate teenage crushes and given their limited acting skills they do not overshadow one another. As a directorial debut of Punit Malhotra the film is not bad, cinematography is excellent and music pleasant. Unfortunatelly the story itself is terribly weak and clichéd. At the very beggining J (Imran Khan) complains about the Bollywood films being all the same, starting with the hero not believing in love and ending with him being hopelessly infatuated (or better yet – married). A ironically this is the very plot of IHLS, without any inovative idea or even a bigger twist. From this point of view the movie can be described as pointless. It shows us that even a well tailored film can be a terrible bore. After few minutes I realized I´m only waiting for the moments when Imran´s fat friend appears on the screen in one of his absolutely amazing T-shirts.

Aisha

Directed by: Rajshree Ojha

Starring: Sonam Kapoor, Abhay Deol, Amrita Puri, Ira Dubey, Cyrus Sahukar

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Only little things saved Aisha before sinking even lower then IHLS. As a fan of Jane Austen´s books I was very much curious about how would Bollywood deal with her novel Emma. Well, not that well. The basic story stays the same, but there is nothing of its original charm. The blame rests with Sonam Kapoor. The only movie she has not managed to kill off so far has ben her debut Saawariya, and that only because Sanjay Bhansali has a magical ability to make even a wooden table act. Aisha stands and falls with Sonam´s performance, that is simply bad. She has no idea a thing like voice modulation exists, her expressions are non-existent, her screen-presence equals to zero. Her advantage is her beauty, but that can hardly save a film. Plus points of Aisha coudl have been capable Abhay Deol, good music, nice costumes and a beautifully fresh debutant Amrita Puri. But is Sonam Kapoor „acts“ in her father´s production project, everything is bound to be focused on Sonam, Sonam and Sonam. And so Abhay and pretty much everybody is unforgivably sidelined. Sonam Kapoor is a living proof that talent is not automatically inherited.

Action Replayy

Directed by: Vipul Shah

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Aishwarya Rai, Aditya Roy Kapoor

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Story about a guy who travels to the past to change unpleasant present is not exactly original. The best movie ever based on this thought has to be the popular American series „Return to the future“, which for me personally is one of my favourites and most enjoyable movies I´ve seen. While „Return to the future“ has a very realistic touch (in spite of dealing with very much unrealistic theme), Action Replayy borders with fairytales. And the story develops in a similarly naive way. Either you have the feeling Kishen (Aditya Roy) is not doing anything, or he is doing some truly silly stuff (best example and the worst case being the singing contest). Visually the film is very colourful, sometimes so sugary colourful you might feel slightly sick. The best performance is by Aditya Roy. I have never been impressed with Akshay Kumar as an actor, and he did not convince me otherwise in this, but I guess we could describe hims as „good“. I was looking forward to see Aishwarya, however as „old“ I wanted to slap her and as „young“ she was annoyingly over the top. But still – you can forgive her a lot because she is simply beautiful to look at and is a great dancer. Average movie that doesn´t really give you anything.

Anjaana Anjaani

Directed by: Siddhart Anand

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

How two self-murderers lived happily ever afer. When I was watching the film for the first time, I was a little schoked and a little excited, because you cannot také away from it that it is original and has many unexpected situations. But then I wanted to re-watch it and found out it lacks any serious repeat value. What bugged me throughout was the setting – what was the point of it all happening America. Change New York to Mumbai and it will not have any effect on the story whatsoever. Also some morbid joking may not be too easy to digest and one questions himself if the jokes have not passed the border of good taste already. Ranbir Kapoor is possibly my favourite actor out of the new lot and he does not disappoint. Priyanka was a darling when happy and silly, but the emotional scenes were not all that convincing, and some even looked too fake. But yeah, as somebody else has pointed out elsewhere, the film does show you she has the most stunning legs. The Ranbir/Priyanka jodi was new and refreshing, even though more they look like buddies and not lovers. The main hero of the film is the soundtrack.

Break Ke Baad

Directed by: Danish Aslam

Starring: Imran Khan, Deepika Padukone

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Again I was a bit uncomfortable with most of the film taking place outside India, this time in Australia (btw shot in Mauritius) with no real reason. Again we are meeting Imran Khan, but in a much better film. Imran is an actor completely dependant on the script, direction and co-star. And to give him Deepika was a hit into the bull´s eye! Their chemistry is very natural, their interaction as well. Cute, uncomplicated story about what happens when your best friend (and boyfriend) starts to get on your nerves is pretty much comparable with I hate luv storys, because here too the level of predictability is fairly high, still it deserves a much better rating. Deepika was a pleasant surprise for me. I already liked her as both Shanti and Sandhya in Om Shanti Om, but she was a little lost beside Shahrukh Khan. From this point of view Imran compliments her greatly and gives her space to shine. And more – her Aaliya is nothing like the characters I´ve seen her playing before and to me it proved Deepika has a truly great potential and is versatile. She does not play herself over and over again like Sonam (no, I have no love for Sonam). As a lover of pre-2000 Bollywod I´m always happy to detect hints to older films, here it was for example Mr. India and Tezaab.

Jhootha Hi Sahi

Directed by: Abbas Tyrewala
Starring: John Abraham, Pakhi Tyrewala

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

John Abraham is not my idol, but I find him a very likeable actor. With Jhootha Hi Sahi he shed off the "useless sex-symbol I do not find sexy" tag he had in my book previously. The film about a guy who by a printing mistake becomes a part of a help line for people on the verge of commiting suicide turns out to be a sweet romantic film, not exactly a comedy but still lighthearted and giving you several genuine laughs. The leading pair, which has a freash and cute vibe to it, is supported by a bunch of entertaining friends, every single one of them captured with all their chief characteristics even in not that big scope given to them individually. Jhootha Hi Sahi was another undeserved flop of 2010.

Band Baaja Baraat

Directed by: Maneesh Sharma

Starring: Anushka Sharma, Ranveer Singh

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The last film I´m going to mention here came to the theaters only in December, but quickly became a hit. Deservingly. More then capable directorial venture of debutant Maneesh Sharma, great dialogues, excellent soundtrack and most of all powerful performances by Anushka and Ranveer – all that raises „BBB“ as the film is often called, to the best romcom of the last year. Though your intuition tells you how it is going to end, the way to the finish is completely unpredictable. It is really entertaining watching the two young people in their attempts to create a successful company with all the problems that might come along. Humour is always spot on and never over the top. Ranveer and Anushka create a very natural jodi, they look comfotable with each other. None of them has classical beauty, but their charisma substitutes for that and their talent is unquestionable. Anushka proves once again that she is possibly the best newcomer of the past decade. Ranveer as debutant deserves an honourable mention. The great plus of the film is the sense of reality, be it in the way the characters dress, talk or how Delhi is presented. On the top of all that the movie feels beautifully desi.