Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai

Directed by: Milan Luthria

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Emraan Hashmi, Kangana Ranaut, Prachi Desai, Randeep Hooda

Released: 2010

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

What can a director responsible for overhyped Dirty Picture do with a bunch of actors I would rank from „not interested“ to „dislike“ do? Surprisingly a film I really enjoyed. I have been ignoring this one for quite some time (Why? Read the first line!) but as a person who always insists on watching original before a remake and prequel before a sequel I finally sat down and hit the play button. I knew the film was quite acclaimed, but public opinion rarely sounds in tune with my own sentiments.

From time to time there is nothing better than a good Bollywood gangster flick and Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai has ticked every bracket needed to be good. Dark, but never gruelsome or lingering too much on the nasty effects of criminal activity, OUTIM is more or less a masala with a heart, in spite of being a gangster tale, and set in very attractively presented setting of 70s and 80s, thus evoking bit of that nostalgy everybody likes too.

Inspired by real events (at least I found it described like) the film revolves around an idea that criminals and their crimes are of different nature depending on what they have in heart and mind. A willful, ambitious kid that has a secure home grows up to be a selfish and self-loving individual hungry for power, while the one whose attention and approval he seeks came literally out of nothing and while he managed to become the „king“ of the Mumbai underworld his actions are dictated by his selflessness and love for common folk. One is a smuggler, the other is a killer. The interaction and play-off between larger-than-life yet level-headed Sultan (Ajay Devgn) and impulsive, as well as somehow childish, immature Shoaib is the backbone of the film, which in the end gets broken and leaves you a bit numb for a while.

The film has a nice, tight screenplay, that is not weighted down even by two romantic sub-tracks, which bring further understanding of what men the main protagonists actually are. The relationship between Sultan and a Bollywood star played by Kangana Ranaut (I suppose a character created to remind us of notorious Mandakini) is based on caring and love, Shoaib´s selfishness and possessiveness has the upper hand in his love life. His girlfriend (Prachi Desai) is more or less seen as his property, bending to his wishes even when she doesn´t like them or are simply unacceptable to her own mindset.

The film´s strengths are above all good script and performance by Ajay Devgn. Dressed in white, he embodies a towering figure in the game of power, and has an aura of invincibility. He carries the film on his shoulders and charisma and doesn´t make a false step. Emraan Hashmi, whom I just cannot like for whatever reason, is good enough, mostly because he IS supposed to be unlikeable. Kangana and Prachi both play their roles convincingly, even though Kangana´s dialogue delivery and voice will always be a problem. Special mention goes to special cameo by Randeep Hooda, another guy I don´t really care for in general, but like him here.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai has its share of flaws and illogical moments (why in the world would you need to deconstruct a railway track just so a lorry can ride over it?), and it is not the most exciting gangster movie out there either. But it works, has solid performances and superb music, as well as that already mentioned pleasant vintage touch.

Policegiri

Directed by: K. S. Ravikumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Prachi Desai, Prakash Raj

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This film is just absurd.

I am not even going to try to describe the story, because Vigil Idiot has done that in his absolutely hilarious and painfully honest way HERE.

Yes, Sanjay Dutt is a kind of a man who looks convincing as a macho policeman with ability to beat the goondas on his own and not even break into a sweat while doing it. However I´ve had enough of films with Dabangg hang-over and the presentation of the main character in this is completely boring, in spite of unending explosions and dramatic shots to show us that SANJU IZ DA SUPAHMAAAAN. Like geez! Move on, we get it!!! Not only he is unstoppable and un-destroyable, but even his bloody CAR doesn´t get a scratch when it crashes down an iron gate.... Hell yeah! Watta ride!!!! Except The whole character of DCP Rudra made no sense. A policeman who lets the criminals do whatever they want "as long as they don´t harass or harm public"? WTF? Does not every crime harass or harm someone?

At the same time we are given a Sanjay Dutt breaking into a dream-sequence song while trying to pull off some Shahrukh-ness with some unconvincing CGI projection of mountains and waterfalls in the background and with voice that is painfully apparently not his. And lovely to watch, but annoying to listen to Prachi Desai (I would say "who deserves better", but every actress would deserve better than this) being head over heels with him. A word has not yet been invented to describe how incredibly they look together. At times it feels pedophilic. Either they should have abandoned the "romantic" part altogether and make Prachi his sister (if making her his daughter would make him look "old") or they should have searched for some actress closer to his age and desperate enough to be a part of this rubbish.

Excuse me while I go and throw up.

Prakash Raj has lost his touch it would seem. He has become a caricature of himself on the screen. That his villain is at the same time trying for some comic relief makes it all the more confusing and difficult to imagine he might actually be dangerous. The whole comic side-track thing (with Prachi´s potential beau) is really something that cinema has moved on from and while it belongs to the films of the past, it feels extremely regressive today. Not to mention - it is not funny.

All there is to dialogues are several un-endingly repeated punch lines that are not punchy, rest of the time the characters are threatening each other. Blah blah blah blah..... it´s like listening to a broken record. Villain to hero, hero to villain, they just repeat the same things to one another. I really hope that script writer asked for just half the cash, because he obviously did just half the work. And frankly for a pearl like „You have the voice like Osama, I have the power like Obama“ they didn´t deserve two rotis even..... The only good line from the whole film, one that actually had me laughing, was uttered at the beginning. "Beauty is in the eye of a beer holder!" Goes down to my book of favourite quotes. Question is: is it original?

I just hope that while in jail Sanjay Dutt will have enough time to think of his terrible film choices and when he comes out he will be back to making classics like Munnabhai or at least films that would be bearable.

Bol Bachchan

Directed by: Rohit Shetty

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Abhishek Bachchan, Asin, Prachi Desai

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing 

Bol Bachchan is a really phunny philm. Working with ever popular formula of lies, lies and more lies creating confusion and more confusion, very much like another phunny philm earlier this year (the one about a house being full), but it actually has a bit of a plot and smaller number of characters which makes it less memory demanding.

Abbas and Sania, a Muslim brother and sister, are forced to take refuge with a family friend in a small town, which is prospering under landlord Prithviraj, a man of muscles and a heart that loves truth above everything else. Try to lie to him even a little and thou shalt know what pain is. Then again this is all rather unfortunate since he is very easy to lie to, as Abbas finds out soon enough, as circumstances make him to do just that. And later he is too scared of Prithviraj and starts making more and more lies, which are good enough to satisfy the landlord, but at the same time give a terrible headache to Abbas, Sania and a whole bunch of other people who get involved. A concept very simple, but executed with lots of freshness (and did that stage play near the end crack me up).

Abhishek Bachchan redeemed himself after the atrocity he served us this January and confirmed yet again he is a very pleasant actor who needs to be presented more as a common man than a genius super-cop/super-con. Also multistarrers do him good, at least those that have another strong performer (here it is Ajay Devgn) to pretty much „complete“ him on screen (how effin´ good they both looked beating up an army of goondas – twice - without even getting sweat stains?). Ajay has always been projected more as an action hero, at least as far as I know, but lately he has been using his great comic sense as well, and as an English-loving yet totally messing up meaning of words and thus delivering some hilarious one-liners (A brother in need is a sister indeed! My eyes have fallen from my face!) macho landlord he rules. For me he stole the show, though Abhishek too has moments of utter brilliance. His notorious gay act, that worked for him so much in Dostana, and actually seems to be his most popular avatar (ouch!), is used here as well, then again it is left soon enough not to weary off. Aided in comedy also by Krushna Abhishek (forever known to me as Govinda´s nephew) and other minor character artists, all the protagonists make sure your sides are hurting from all the laughs even before the interval. 

Asin and Prachi both are presented beautifully, but Asin, as gorgeous as she undoubtedly is, lacks „it“. She has a great beauty, yet no personality on screen, nothing that would catch your eye as soon as she is not the only one in the frame. She does decent, but I´m becoming a bit tired of her decent, because apart from Ghajini that is all she has shown so far. She has not one role that would allow her to perform (and evolve), she seems to be choosing only films where starcast pretty much guarantees a hit. You cannot really talk about a chemistry between the girls and their romantic interests in the movie – well, not between Asin and Ajay (yep yep... age difference too visible – and I am afraid this complaint is going to be more and more frequent in my reviews concerning films by Mr. Devgn, Mr. Kumar and also the Khans etc), fortunatelly Ajay and Abhishek have enough chemistry to make it work.

It could have been 30 minutes shorter, because like this it was getting a bit wearisome at one point, and as a girl I´m not really into the obligatory car porn Rohit Shetty enjoys so much. There are only three songs – two lovey-dovey ones that I really liked and enjoyed, and the one playing during the opening credits and featuring none other than Amitabh Bachchan, which obviously has no other point than to boost his son´s movie at least a little with his legendary status. And I didn´t get why they were jumping out of huge Fabergé eggs either.

If I should sum it up, Bol Bachchan is a fun ride with a heart.

Teri Meri Kahaani

Directed by: Kunal Kohli

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra, Prachi Desai

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I was expecting a fluffy and cute film but it turned out to be quite lame. Surprisingly enough it was not about reincarnation, which was the impression I got from the promos, but perhaps that would have made more sense in the end.

One by one, and for whatever reason not chronologically, we are presented three love stories that have one thing in common – they happen in a span of mere minutes. First it´s the Mumbai of the 60s, where in a big film studio an aspiring musician falls for a film star (whom he doesn´t know, even though he seeks job in films and she gets her own Filmfare cover from time to time. Huh.) However at the same time he acts way too familiar with a common girl who thinks he´s in love with her. And boom – she happens to be the filmstar´s best friend. This storyline, though weak in terms of script (and everything else), was watchable. Priyanka (looking gorgeous, no arguments there) had nothing much to do in a whole film, but Shahid as Govind, though unsuccessfully trying to recreate the Raj Kapoor magic, was more or less agreeable both as a character and as a performer at this point (it gets worse later). The sets creating scenery were too obviously painted to be taken seriously – or was that intentional to bring out the vibe of the era?

Second story moves forward in time to our present where Facebook and Twitter are a part of everyday life. A young college student breaks up with his girl, but two hours later falls in love with another. After much SMS messages they are full of true pyaar, which includes sending each other photos of their burgers etc etc, but the ex-girlfriend (who by the way initiated the break-up) decides she is jealous and makes public some unflattering pictures of the guy, to which he answers with posting her pictures. His new love doesn´t understand fun apparently and leaves him. Boo hoo. Let´s put a hood on and have some smart talks about how women are like alcohol. This storyline was hand down the worst. Not only neither of them looked the age they pretended to be, but all the messaging actually made them seem like 13 years olds. Especially the whole photo war between Krrish and Meera (WHO keeps photos like that in their phone anyway???). Super lame.

I was rather looking forward to the 1910s (oh the time when to sing in prison was illegal) bit, but it let me down. Lahore at that time was apparently full of horny girls waiting only for Shahid to rid them of their virginity. I am no expert on Indian culture, but from what I´ve seen and heard, looting a girl like that often leads to the guy being beaten up and worse, yet this guy is ruining every girl in sight and he walks freely in the city, without any father being distressed. And of course the girl who gets his heart is the one who doesn´t let him into her bed as soon as she sees him. Pure pyaar yet again. But alas her father is not inclined to marry his daughter off to a notorious womanizer who recently is in prison, and instead he weds her to a decent man he approves of. Bastard, nah? The „mass crowd“ scenes in this were anything but a „mass crowd“. It got better as it progressed, but the first impression really took its toll.

But if you have not understood already, all the stories are about TRUE PYAAR. And what Bollywood taught us? That PURE PYAAR always wins. And so you can be sure that confused filmstars will hop onto that train, that university students acting like prepubescent children will update their Facebook status, and that the director will conveniently and quietly kill off the girl´s decent husband so the womanizer can marry her instead.

Finally the question is – why? I did not understand the need for three different stories, that obviously had no connection between them. Did Kunal Kohli get three similar scripts and couldn´t decide so he rolled them all into one? That seems the most probable version to me.