Sequels and more sequels

Since it is latest fashion in Bollywood to turn films into a franchise or at least make a sequel or two, here come my thoughts on three of them....

Dhoom

Directed by: Sanjay Gandhvi

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Uday Chopra, Esha Deol, Rimi Sen

Released: 2004

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

At first I thought it was a film made for less talented star relatives, but thankfully it turned out quite well. Abhishek was really good, which in his case is rather rare, but I just did not believe John to be the bad guy. He is a chocolate boy who looks like a lollipop macho, but he is as evil as a tomato soup. This was my first encounter with Uday Chopra, and he suited the role perfectly, and it was also my first encounter with Esha Deol. In her case all Hema Malini´s genes concentrated on making the daughter looks like an exact copy of her mother, but failed in transferring charm and screen presence (forget talent). What I liked the most was probably the editing (except for the scene near the end when Abhishek and John are coming out of the casino when the constant "BOOM and close up on them looking at each other" was used annoyingly often). The story lacked both the investigation process and the planning of the cons, which quite frankly bothered me a bit. I was always just presented the final result without seeing any development - which in cop films like this one are just necessary. Dhoom is primarily a guy´s film - by guys for guys. Full of motorbikes and skinshow

Dhoom 2

Directed by: Sanjay Gandhvi

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Abhishek Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Bipasha Basu

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

From the first second it was clear that this Dhoom is more polished. More fancy. And much, oh so much more stupid. I have a great tolerance to the physically impossible displays of awesomeness, but what is much is too much as we say in Czech. Abhishek and Uday are still both very much stuck in the first Dhoom and have not made any progress altogether on any level at all. Hrithik didn´t have any impact on me – his Filmfare for this reamins the biggest Filmfare joke ever. Bipasha - why was she in this film? She has TWO roles and both are absolutely needless. I was sorry for Aishwarya, because she was just bad, and I know she can do so much better. Her beauty was burried under a THICK layer of very unflattering make-up and Crazy Kiya Re has to be the most overrated song in history of Bollywood. "Why are you wasting your incredible dancing skills?!" line was swirling in my head all the time watching it. The music overally is pretty weak (excep tfor the Dhoom theme which has already appeared in the first film) and the final nail into its coffin hammer the English lyrics, that in this case just do not work. Whatever the suspence in the first Dhoom, there is absolutely none in this. And I cannot help but wonder WHY in the world is this going to have another sequel.

Housefull

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, Riteish Deshmukh, Lara Dutta, Arjun Rampal, Boman Irani, Chunky Pandey

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I can´t believe I´m saying this but most of it I actually enjoyed. Not liked. Enjoyed. Anyway it is definitely a bad film, and though the skin show is not ever present it has a somehow sleazy feel throughout. The showstealers were Boman Irani and Chunky Pandey, and I one of the reasons I enjoyed the movie was Lara Dutta (the woman is just not in enough films!). The story is next to none, there is just one big mess of a confusion given by switching multiple partners according to situation.

Housefull 2

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Rishi Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor, Mithun Chakraborthy, Riteish Deshmukh, Asin, Jacqueline Fernandez, Shreyas Talpade, Zarine Khan

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Indeed the house was full from basement to the roof. Sequels are rarely met with such a good response, but Housefull 2 did more than well and after a series of flops Akshay Kumar returned from the oblivion. There is not much different from the first film. The plot and the jokes are yet again based on loads of lies and partner changes, just unlike last time Akshay is not an innocent fool but a cunning kamina. Truly, housefull 2 brings nothing new to town, except a really delightful on screen meeting of Rishi and Randhir Kapoor as two brothers who hate each other, but have many things in common. There are way too many damn characters to remember and way too many damn deceptions to really keep a track, but to be honest I found the over the top unlikely situations absolutely hilarious – and credit goes more to the art of the actors than anything else. Seven women in the story (two mothers, four girlfriends and a dancer) have absolutely nothing to do, and womenfolk is pretty much presented as kind of dumb, but all the men are just splendid in their comedy (I especially need to mention to I-am-a-joking Chunky Pandey as Aakhri Pasta). More than a sequel it is a upgraded version of the previous movie and definitely the funniest film of the whole first half of 2012.

Dhamaal

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Riteish Deshmukh, Javed Jaffrey

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The OTT is so Indra Kumar... However in all that OTT there is heart somewhere. True enough, I was not able to finish this at one go, because it would give me headache after a while, but I kept returning to it till without regrets. It was amusing, though not exactly hilarious. I could have done without the stupid souds indicating that "this was funny", seriously in a film like this (meaning FULL of silly jokes) we wouldn´t have missed that the joke already happened. I must admit I was genuinly teary-eyed in the end.... Sanjay Dutt was made for such roles. He was awesome and by far the most funny of them all, without making faces and talking rubbish. My love for Riteish was justified yet again, loved him as well. Fine timepass.

Double Dhamaal

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Riteish Deshmukh, Javed Jaffrey, Mallika Sherawat, Kangana Ranaut

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Yet another story of four not that brilliant guys trying to get rich quickly and without work. As much as I enjoyed the first one, this one is not as half as funny and also lacks all the heartwarming moments. In fact the only fun and simles I had came in the last hour. This time it´s not Sanjay Dutt, but Ritesh Deshmunk who takes the cake for the best performance, his "Tukya" was purely hilarious! I´m almost ashamed to say I found Mallika Sherawat much more natural and bearable then Kangana, who, to be honest, is starting to annoy me really bad. All in all there is LOTS of OTT Indra Kumar style (as usual and expected), and way too many references to other films actually take away from the wit.  

Race

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Katrina Kaif, Sameera Reddy

Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

With the upcoming Race two in the pipeline I decided to watch the first film, to see if I my expectations for the sequel should be high or low or even in existence, and also to understand the probable references to the first film should there be any (yes, in spite of knowing Bollywood sequels are rarely sequels at al.... more like an alternative reality story for the same characters, when nothing what we have seen actually happened).

Ranveer (Saif) and Rajeev (Akshaye) are two step-brothers, who at the first sight couldn´t be more in love with each other. Especially Ranveer is doting on his younger bhaiya, even giving up a sexy Sonia (Bipasha Basu) he himself is crushing on, just because Rajeev while drunk once blabs something about giving up alcohol should he get the gal. And so Ranveer with soaring heart makes sure they end up together. But if you think we are going the Sangam way here, you are mistaken. Because in Race nothing really is what it seems, in fact by the end of the film you grow suspicious even of apples and oranges. 

"Did you steal my conditioner?"

To sum it up just quickly: we have a deadly-silent older brother (he is the good one, the one who only kills people who want to kill him, otherwise you´re cool), a more vocal sharaabi younger brother (who kills anyone he needs to be out of the way), a dusky Sonia (who sleeps with the brother she is not married to), a fair long-legged secretary (Katrina Kaif after a disturbing lip job, and dubbed – which doesn´t help as the dubber is even worse than Katrina´s normal voice and diction), and a bit later let enter an amazingly uncool police investigator (Anil Kapoor) who manages to devour just about every fruit that exists on the planet, and his completely dumb 20-something assistant (Sameera Reddy), and they all want their big fat share of paisa. Everyone works with everybody to deceive everyone else.

After a rather boring and unhappening 40 minutes the film gets a good tempo and there is definitely no shortage of twists - some of which I guessed beforehand and some that were completely unexpected (like yeah, I actually was willing to believe Katrina´s character was the only good girl in the whole thing). The dialogues in those first 40 minutes were extremely cringeworthy, consisting mostly of real everyday stuff like "let´s have lunch" and "good morning". The ending should have been tighter and explaining seemed too lengthy.

"Om-nom-nom-nom."

Congratulations to Abbas-Mustan. What a brilliant move to involve the super-annoying Sameera Reddy in a stupid role that made me want to smack her face so badly. Brilliant, because she makes Katrina look a blessing and I am not even sarcastic! I don´t know why Anil signs such embarrassing roles. To see him with girls so much younger than him is just weird. And it´s not like he is evolving as an actor with roles like these. Saif is good, so is Bipasha (although I just cannot bring myself to believe her whenever she acts the good one - she just looks so cunning all the time!), but the real show-stealer is the ever-underrated youngest Khanna. He was brilliant. I guess bad movie choices were his doom, because he is easily among the most convincing and versatile actors I´ve seen Bollywood in the past 20 years. 

Songs try too hard to be sexy, but came off as boring. The actresses are way too obviously put „out there“, in case of Zara Zara song Katrina is actually looking more completely desperate for attention rather than being mysterious or seductive, there is nothing intricate or really feminine about the presentation of „sexy“. Made by guys, for guys, I guess. Also the comedy track was completely off. It served no purpose and wasn´t really funny either. Race is a fine watch, that could have been better. Tighter. Quicker. More stylish. Challo, maybe the second one will learn from the mistakes?

When your favourites disappoint

They say you only are a true fan if you are willing to suffer through your favourite´s god-damn-awful filmography. Bad films happen. To everybody from Dilip Kumar to Akshay Kumar. Sometimes they are not even really that bad, but somehow disappointing and weak. Some of such films of some of my favourite actors to follow.

Jodi Breakers

Directed by: Ashwini Chaudhary

Starring: Madhavan, Bipasha Basu, Omi Vaidya

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I tried to watch the film before, but turned it off after first 15 or so minutes, but then I told myself I may not want to be as harsh, after all Madhavan is my teddy-bear. Sadly his presence doesn´t save the film, and the character he plays is actually one of the most annoying loosers I´ve seen on screen. Bipasha is way too unbelievable with her innocent act and the two have no chemistry. The film has one of the dumbest twists (and resolves) ever. So he destroys somebody else´s marriage so his ex-wife can get a rich new husband and he gets his car back? Really? And I am supposed to root for this person? And frankly I didn´t see s single reason what would Sid need Sonali as his partner anyway, thus even the basic plot doesn´t really make sense. To top it all Omi Vadiya was completely annoying as a sex God from the high heavens. In one word: lame. Why was Helen in this?

.....

Paa

Directed by: R. Balki

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Vidya Balan, Abhishek Bachchan

Released: 2009

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I guess some films are just overrated. After having a shock from rather awkward subtitles narrated for whatever reason by Jaya Bachchan, I was kept waiting .... and waiting for the awesomeness praised by the critics to appear, but it never did. The story deals with a very sad issue of progeria, a rare disease causing the body to age before its time – and that very rapidly. The main character, a twelve years old boy Auro, suffering from the condition, actually has a body of an 80 year old. And what more – he doesn´t have a father. Or rather, doesn´t know him. After all this father did not want a child and only because Auro´s mother refused to go for an abortion and left her partner was the child born. The fate however brings the family together again. Everybody in the film does an OK job. From Abhishek to Amitabh, who did not really understand what age he is trying to act. Instead of a 12 years old his handling of the character made Auro seem like barely 7 years old boy. He did well, don´t get me wrong, but nothing overly impressive. I had the same problem with Sridevi in Sadma, where she is supposed to act like 7 years old, but instead gives an impression of a four-year-old, and that does a hell lot of a difference. Vidya is the best of the lot, but is criminally deprived of deserved screen time by the male protagonists. If anything the movie should have been named Maa, because what I took from the film was really the assurance that love of a mother is above everything.

.....

Bhootnath

Directed by: Vivek B. Sharma

Starring: Amitabh Bachchan, Aman Siddiqui, Juhi Chawla, Shahrukh Khan

Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Not one, but two favourites included – Shahrukh and Juhi – and yet... oh Mr. Sharma this is a perfect example of wasting great acting talent. When you have actors like this you don´t give all the screentime to a kid. Bhootnath is a fine film for children, but far from a great piece of cinema the director presents it till this day.

Shahrukh, the freakingly handsome in his white uniform sea cruise captain moves his wife and son into a new house, not caring everybody says it is haunted. He promptly leaves and his wife invests all her time to attempts to make the new living space more comfortable, while their son soon discovers the house is indeed haunted by a grumpy and dirty old ghost. In no time, they become friends. There are way too many question concerning the ghost (sometimes he can´t touch things, sometimes he can, he apparently eats and can shave and wash..... way too many supernatural powers for one sad soul if you ask me, and pretty much defying everything one would imagine when it comes to ghosts), but I guess children wouldn´t really mind. However the kids should not be too demanding. There is nothing scary or hilarious about the story and the situations shown. See, I don´t even know what else to write. Watch and forget movie.

Players

Directed by: Abbas-Mustan

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Sonam Kapoor, Bipasha Basu, Neil Nitin Mukesh, Omi Vaidya, Bobby Deol, Sikander Kher, Vinod Khanna

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

How can you take seriously somebody named Charlie Mascarenhas as a mastermind high-class, next-to-supernatural-hero thief? Even more so when he is played by Abhishek Bachchan (who just never learns)? Players (or by a more precise title „Thiefs“) was supposed to be a rocking action packed multi-starrer, but maybe it would have been better if the film was called off once people like Priyanka Chopra and Kareena Kapoor decided to say no to it, because frankly, though the cast is full of known names, none of them really sells on their own.

The „player“ Charlie with his awesome and genius mind, finds his way to super secret information about a transport of a huge amount of gold from Russia to Romania, which immediately becomes his next goal. However he´s not naive enough to think he can pull such a robbery off by himself, and so after a consultation with the best of the best players (read „thieves“), the aging and jailed Victor Dada (Vinod Khanna) he puts together a team of the best thieves with different abilities. His romantic interest Rhea (sexy but somehow boring and unpleasant Bipasha Basu) is to be useful in getting information out of certain men, then there are a master-disguiser Sunny (Omi Vaidya), explosives expert Bilal (Sikander Kher), a magician (Bobby Deol) and a hacker Spider (Neil Nitin Mukesh). And of course the super cool Charlie. However soon after actually pulling off the robbery Charlie finds out someone may have outsmarted him.... and there will be a hell to pay.

"Wait. Somebody stole my wallet. Call the police!"

What kills Players are weak and unimpressive performances, artificial dialogues and in spite of some good twist and turns a considerable level of predictability (though the last may be just my problem, I always happen to know the bad guys from the start, don´t ask me how). I actually really liked the first half, as most of the bad acting and questionable script was compensated by a well made action sequence and nice speed that did not give one too much time to analyze. However after the interval it all slowed down and somehow lost purpose and whatever thrill there was left.

We are sitting in the middle of Siberia and whole Russia is looking for us...

...so let´s drink champagne from fancy glasses we did not forget to pack.

Abhishek is someone I never minded, but I still maintain what I´ve been saying for the past year - he needs to STOP acting cool guys with brilliant minds, because he just doesn´t deliver. Perhaps now after Player, Game and Dum Maro Dum flopped he will get the message? Unfortunatelly for him I think it is too late for him to reinvent himself (hoping to be proved wrong). Sonam has definitely improved, she does not make me cringe everytime she opens her mouth anymore, however she disappoints when it comes to anything emotional. There was NO difference in her expression whether she was flirting with Abhishek, casually serving food or wathching her father being shot. Bipasha is someone whom I fail to like, she just doesn´t pick good roles and just like with Abhishek it seems she is only good for one type of roles AKA we´ve seen it all before. Neil is by far the best, however still far from being impressive. All the actors (ironically with the exception of Johny Lever) give you the impression they totally do not care about anything, least of all about acting. 

Let´s lay down the wreaths and bury this film in some dark corner of our minds.