Special 26

Directed by: Neeraj Pandey

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Anupam Kher, Manoj Bajpayee, Kajal Agarwal, Jimmy Shergil

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It is interesting to see how over the years we have abandoned the once so admired honest heroes armed with the flaming sword of justice and spotless shield of patriotism (as well as an A-Z dictionary of morals) for witty Robin Hoods, aka crooks and thieves taking from the rich (and not giving it to others). Stealing from greedy people is "right", but being greedy is not. It is acceptable that you are a thief if you only steal from nasty people. Be it Don, Chulbul Pandey or the gang of this film, we have learned to root for the bad guys. Who are not all that bad. Just outlaws. But still not bad. So steal away, kid, just make sure you steal from the right people. Or something like that I think. Makes my head spinning a bit.

Back in the old 80s (ironically enough the time of the spotless on-screen heroes in white shoes), a gang of several men make their living of crime – which is always the same. Posing as CBI or other government organization, they raid houses of rich people, whom we can suspect are most probably corrupted, and under a pretext of taking all the money and riches found to the authorities, they simply pack their own bags. And live happily until the need for more money and adrenaline lures them out of their homes to try again, some place else. However it seems their wit finally found a match on the opposite side of the law. An actual CBI officer Khan, with a help of a policeman, previously deceived by the gang, manages to locate one of them and through him also finds out details about their next target, which is to be non other than a huge jewelery shop in Mumbai. Will he manage to stop them? Will they outsmart him? Will the law win or will our crooked heroes will? My unfortunate ability to predict twists and turns proved functional yet again, though I dare say not everybody figured the missing piece of information out before it was actually revealed.

The film takes quite some time before actually taking off, and the plot perhaps could have been more elaborate, and one or two more twists would only ad some thrill and mystery (though after the twistingly twisty Race 2 even a dozen twists might seem too little). Maybe it would have been good to actually give more depth to the characters, who apparently all come from different backgrounds and have families and other bonds, but the sane viewer in me knows this would only slow down the story, that needed to be quick – in fact a lost quicker than it ultimately was.

The love track is one of the most useless ones ever, doesn´t even make anything for the ending. Kajal Agarwal hardly speaks in those four scenes she has, which is actually a plus because I can barely stand her. In any case seeing her with Akshay gave even Mr. Kumar away - he too is, much like his Khan and Devgn collegues, officially looking too old to romance anyone under 30 and pass off as younger than 40. On the bright side his performance was on the subtle side and very good. Hopefully we can see him in films like this and last years OMG more often. The acting stars of the film though are Anupam Kher and Manoj Bajpayee, both dominating the screen whenever they appear. Other supporting actors like Jimmy Shergil (sporting an unflattering moustache) and Divya Dutta (who is repeating one line throughout the film), are alright.

The settings of the 80s India are excellent, at times one truly wonders how in the world did they manage to recreate the Mumbai of that time so flawlessly and on such big scale. The camera work is good, and overall there is nothing to complain about when it comes to technical aspects. Special 26 is a good film, well told, well presented, well acted, well put together. Not brilliant, but good.

Dangerous Ishq

Direction: Vikram Bhatt

Starring: Karishma Kapoor, Jimmy Shergil, Rajneesh Duggal, Divya Dutta, Gracy Singh

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I had severe reservations right from the moment I´ve heard the atrocious Hinglish title for the first time, but for the sake of Karishma Kapoor, whom I don´t see among the greatest of the great actresses, but still love her well enough for the intensity and experience she gave me with Zubeidaa and Fiza. And it was for her sake again that I managed to sit through the film, that turned out to be the two possibly longest hours of my life. I guess that seals her presence in the list of my favourites forever.

Karishma, looking stunning and not a day over twenty something (and better than many younger actresses), plays a supermodel Sanjana, whose really unattractive and absolutely non-leading-hero-material-ish boyfriend just got kidnapped, and since true love knows no bounds Sanjana plunges into the whirphool of thrilling situations that are not at all exciting, dangerous stunts and special effects that look like from a 90s gameboy, and enthralling past lives memories that are badly edited and badly placed. There is no shortage of some hardcore magic either – which however ultimately moves the film to a level of bad fairytales for adult people. On her search for her lover Sanjana starts seeing visions from her past life, and as it turns out few regression sessions later, her love life has always been totally screwed up by somebody else in all her births. Ultimately she finds out that once upon a time she refused a rich guy obsessed with her, and through some divine powers and abracadabra the whole ever repeating cycle of her lover (and herself) dying a violent death thanks to the refused guy started. Once she discovers the person in this birth, she finally can put an end to it.

Obesessed with me for centuries? I am flattered!

What needs to be appreciated is that whilst dealing with the ever-popular reincarnation theme, the film´s premise and the way the past lives are explored is definitely innovative. At the same time, sadly, none of them is presented well enough for us to connect with them – or the characters. All the timelines had great potential, and although the 16^th century one is generally agreed upon as being the „best one“ shown, I must say I was only really touched by the 1947 one, showing Karishma as a Rajastani girl on her fearful and futile flight from the awaiting death. Alas, it was criminally short, and all too soon I was thrown back into the dullest timeline of all – the present time one, which not only bored with the lack of good cinematography and cheap special effects, it also has Karishma being completely dull and without that intensity one associates her with. She seemed extremely half-hearted throughout. It doesn´t help that in many scenes she literally has nothing to do.

A temple? I thought it was a pizza man!

Jimmy Shergil and Divya Dutta did well, and I even dare say Divya was the show stealer in all the scenes she had. Others are not really worth a mention. The casting of the male characters was mostly wrong. I have already mentioned the main male lead being completely unfit for the part, not only because I personally find him difficult to look at, but because he and Karishma share zero chemistry. Dangerous Ishq was promoted as a female centric movie, but it is far from being one. If anything it had a great potential to be an epic love story (if everything from script to direction was handled better), but to feel a love story and root for a couple throughout a movie you need to feel their connection, and here there is nothing but more dull dialogues. It was interesting to catch a glimpse of once so promising Gracy Singh as Krishna´s worshipper Meera, a character shown a bit loony really, but not without a certain charm.

WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU CAST THIS GUY AS A HERO?

And a girly complaint of mine – considering she was a supermodel, I expected to see some seriously awesome outfits, however on the costume level the film seemed terribly cheap. Music was good, very good actually, and could work as an album, it doesn´t seem appropriate for the movie though and the director let go of an opportunity to create some memorable picturizations, that possibly might have made us see some real feelings between the leading couple after all. The film was also released in 3D, something completely unnecessary and not bringing any betterment to the final product. I can´t see the point of it at all.

Dangerous Ishq remains a film of possibilities untaken, and would work better as a TV miniseries than a big screen picture. A movie about past life regression, that actually gave me a feeling that not the character, but I am in the past, lost somewhere at the point where Bollywood heroines were made to stand around screaming their boyfriend´s name while those fought valiantly against the villains.

Do not waste YOUR time with this film unless you love Karishma Kapoor.

Tanu weds Manu

Directed by: Anand L. Rai

Starring: Madhavan, Kangana Ranaut, Jimmy Shergill

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Out of all the new movies this one was the one I was really looking for. The trailers and promo pictures were promising a colourful, masala comedy with some fluff and romance, exactly that kind I´m so missing in modern Bollywood. Add to it I was completely smitten by Kangana in Fashion and completely taken in by Madhavan in 3 Idiots and what have you? Something to be excited about. Sadly whatever was really good about the film was in the trailers and the film falls into the unfortunate cathegory of „don´t expect much and you might enjoy“.

Manu (meaning „Manoj“) is a young NRI living in London and being a heart doctor. But his own heart is still very much asleep, and only to please his parents he decides to return to India for a time and get married. The girl, of course, should be as traditional and desi as possible. Manu is a quiet type without much expectations and ready to settle down with any decent girl. Therefore he , his parents and friend Pappi set out to find this perfect match. The first girl to be considered is Tanuja „Tanu“. Her family is somehow nervous though, when it comes to introducing the girl. After he is explained Tanu is ill and has taken some medicaments so she is sleepy, Manu is taken to Tanu´s room and right after the girl falls flat on her back, completely asleep and completely uninterested, Manu falls in love (really). The family happiness over the engagement is short-lived, when Manu, the very next day, says he does not want to marry. And only he and Pappi know that the real reason is Tanu, who, after regaining her senses, bluntly told Manu she´s not in the least interested in him, she has a boyfriend – and she was smoking while saying that!

Chunari ke neeche kya hai?

Charming Princess?

Or a massive bitch? (answer 2 is right)

Poor Manu then absolves the searching for a bride trip, but no girl really makes an impression on him or his parents. Sick and tired of the futile chase Manu plans to return to London, when an invitation for his friend´s wedding in Punjab reaches him. Manu and Pappi arrive, and very soon arrives also the bride Payal with her best friend – yes, you are guessing right – Tanu! Manu´s hopes are slowly growing again. He and Tanu spend some time together doing a romantic girlfriend/boyfriend stuff (which does NOT include any dirty things, it consists mostly of going for ice cream together and him choosing and buying her jewelery), only to be stabbed in the heart as soon as Tanu tels him she came to Punjab not just for the wedding, but is planning to meet her boyfriend and they are going to be secretly married themselves......

The story had so much potential it is almost a crime how much of it was neglected. It provided wonderful possibilities for some truly hilarious situations, but practically none were taken. In the result Tanu weds Manu is more of a romance then comedy, and not even as a romance it is convincing. The first and the foremost problem is: Why on the earth Manu loves Tanu? There is nothing, absolutely no redeeming quality about the girl, and just like her friend tells her, she´s „no Madhubala“ to count on her beauty either. Maybe was Manu charmed by her energy and spirit, but there is really nothing that could possibly make any guy I now truly love her with devotion (as we see it with Manu). She is unnecessarily rude, shameless, over-confident, self-centered and irresponsible, not to mention very mean and deceitful. And even as the film comes to an end and she realizes the value of Manu´s love, you cannot see any real change in her, even though that might be given by a very little screen time she is given after being „reformed“. Kangana, who made me gasp with her acting skils in Fashion, got on my nerves terribly in this one. Tanu in her interpretation came off as even more arrogant and FAKE then she would be had any other actress taken up the challenge. Her smile, her laughter, even her anger, all was way too unnatural and made me cringe. Tanu is therefore the greatest flaw of the movie.

Madhavan makes up for Kangana a big time. He is very natural, very charming, very nice to watch on screen. Sure, he is not the handsomest sexy male beast out there, never was and never will be, but there is something truly endearing and honest about him. He is like a big teddy-bear and I wanted to throw myself at him and be his good wife till the rest of our lives as I watched him pine endlessly after such an unworthy tramp.

"Tanu is a bitch."

"Just what did I see in her?"

"I´m coming to the Czech republic to fetch you darling!"

Sadly Manu completely lacks any fire. He is believable as a character, but I wanted him to do more then just stand aside and help the girl he loved marry somebody else. No. He should have sabotaged the wedding attempts (one denial of having a pen at wedding registry does not count) and he should have been given some serious action. But the script fails and Manu, as cute and sweet as he is, does not have any lasting impact on the viewer.

The supporting cast is more interesting (except for Jimmy Shergill who is the exact type of guy I cannot stand) then the lead pair, which is in fact quite sad. The level-headed Payal and her way too eager for love making future husband are a rooted, real couple with wonderful chemistry, and Payal also shows us a woman can be a tough cookie with ideas of her own while at the same time hold some values and principles (unlike Tanu who takes her negativity to the extreme). Pappi is hilarious and unjustly wasted, I was hoping to see him romancing that one girl, but in the end it was a sub-plot that lead nowhere.

What is it about unatractive guys that you honestly want to see more of?

And why did Tanu take those sleeping pills and splashed them with vodka before meeting with Manu? What exactly did she want to do? Obviously not kill herself. And did she really think simply sleeping through the meeting will save her from unwanted aliance? I was more then puzzled.....

The ending did not really make sense. So Tanu´s family is worried about what Raj (her boyfriend) is going to do if they wed her to Manu and they decide to have him thrown into the lock-up for the wedding day, but as soon as the wedding procession arrives at the place where marriage is to také place, Raj is coming with his own baraat. Seems the police took the bribe for locking him up but then decided not to do anything. Kangana in the ending scene should have been given some space, after all the whole argument was about her, yet nobody even asks her to speak up, all she does is standing there with her mouth wide open.

There is some nice desi-ness involved though. The film is colourful, but not over the top, there are old Bollywood songs playing from the radio, there is a wonderful wedding happiness in Punjab..... Music and dancing are just above average. And I think that the same can be said about the whole film.