Policegiri

Directed by: K. S. Ravikumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Prachi Desai, Prakash Raj

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This film is just absurd.

I am not even going to try to describe the story, because Vigil Idiot has done that in his absolutely hilarious and painfully honest way HERE.

Yes, Sanjay Dutt is a kind of a man who looks convincing as a macho policeman with ability to beat the goondas on his own and not even break into a sweat while doing it. However I´ve had enough of films with Dabangg hang-over and the presentation of the main character in this is completely boring, in spite of unending explosions and dramatic shots to show us that SANJU IZ DA SUPAHMAAAAN. Like geez! Move on, we get it!!! Not only he is unstoppable and un-destroyable, but even his bloody CAR doesn´t get a scratch when it crashes down an iron gate.... Hell yeah! Watta ride!!!! Except The whole character of DCP Rudra made no sense. A policeman who lets the criminals do whatever they want "as long as they don´t harass or harm public"? WTF? Does not every crime harass or harm someone?

At the same time we are given a Sanjay Dutt breaking into a dream-sequence song while trying to pull off some Shahrukh-ness with some unconvincing CGI projection of mountains and waterfalls in the background and with voice that is painfully apparently not his. And lovely to watch, but annoying to listen to Prachi Desai (I would say "who deserves better", but every actress would deserve better than this) being head over heels with him. A word has not yet been invented to describe how incredibly they look together. At times it feels pedophilic. Either they should have abandoned the "romantic" part altogether and make Prachi his sister (if making her his daughter would make him look "old") or they should have searched for some actress closer to his age and desperate enough to be a part of this rubbish.

Excuse me while I go and throw up.

Prakash Raj has lost his touch it would seem. He has become a caricature of himself on the screen. That his villain is at the same time trying for some comic relief makes it all the more confusing and difficult to imagine he might actually be dangerous. The whole comic side-track thing (with Prachi´s potential beau) is really something that cinema has moved on from and while it belongs to the films of the past, it feels extremely regressive today. Not to mention - it is not funny.

All there is to dialogues are several un-endingly repeated punch lines that are not punchy, rest of the time the characters are threatening each other. Blah blah blah blah..... it´s like listening to a broken record. Villain to hero, hero to villain, they just repeat the same things to one another. I really hope that script writer asked for just half the cash, because he obviously did just half the work. And frankly for a pearl like „You have the voice like Osama, I have the power like Obama“ they didn´t deserve two rotis even..... The only good line from the whole film, one that actually had me laughing, was uttered at the beginning. "Beauty is in the eye of a beer holder!" Goes down to my book of favourite quotes. Question is: is it original?

I just hope that while in jail Sanjay Dutt will have enough time to think of his terrible film choices and when he comes out he will be back to making classics like Munnabhai or at least films that would be bearable.

Dabangg 2

Directed: Arbaaz Khan

Starring: Salman Khan, Arbaaz Khan, Sonakshi Sinha, Vinod Khanna, Prakash Raj

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Remember my next to ecstatic review of Dabangg? Well, this one is going to be almost fully non-ecstatic. Because Dabangg 2 is one of those movies that are witnesses to the fact really good films should not be milked just for the sake of it. Most sequels do not turn out as half as good as their predecesors and Dabangg 2 is just another one of those. Not memorable from any angle and relying way too much on Salman Khan´s X-factor as well as overdoing references to the awesome original movie, Dabangg 2 is not a „horrible“ film, but it was probably, together with Jab Tak Hai Jaan, the biggest disappointment of the last year, failing to meet expectations by far.

We meet Chulbul Pandey a lot more joyful, mellowed and chilled than before. He has settled with his wife Rajjo and accepted a transfer into a bigger city. His family life is happy and content. Not only Rajjo is pregnant and glowing (and my, does she looks wonderful!), but his step-father and brother become a full-time caring relatives. The Pandey family harmony takes up the most part of the film and I felt like instead of a masalla film I was watching a TV soap educating me on how a proper family behaves. It does have sweet moments (Rajjo reminding Chulbul he forgot his trademark sunglasses) and funny moments (Pandey sr. getting fake calls from an unknown „lady“), but there is really nothing much to talk about. This storyline was still the best one – which doesn´t really shed favourable light on the rest of the movie.

If you are making a sequel to a movie that had a truly menacing and memorable villain like Sonu Sood as a corrupt politician, you absolutely need a villain even more menacing, memorable and ideally even more corrupt. And saying he is like that, not showing it, is just not enough. That Prakash Raj is among the finest when it comes to being a villain has been proved in the past more than once. However Dabangg 2 doesn´t take an advantage of having him in the slightest. There is not a single scene in which you would actually feel concerned for Chulbul, because his enemies seem helpless in spite of some threatening. The way the villain is weaved into the story (or rather lack of it) is too predictable and almost copied from the previous film too. Chulbul insults the corrupt guy. Corrupt guy threatens Chulbul. Chulbul is not afraid. Corrupt one kills/harms a member of Chulbul´s beloved parivaar. Chulbul wrestles shirtless with another shirtless villain. Chulbul kills the villain. The end.

Referencing to the previous movie is fine, as long as it´s not overdone, but Dabangg 2 does just that. „Chalte hain“ becomes „Aate hain“, the „you´ll be confused from which hole to fart“ is back as well as a guy with mummy calling him in the least appropriate moment. There is an item song, just lot less fun than Munni (and Kareena Kapoor does have adorable expressions but cannot dance for peanuts), we get Munni, just lot less fun than last time, we get a song about Sonakshi´s eyes, just lot less good than last time...... There is nothing fresh about the film. It is probably the most boring masalla movie I´ve seen in the past few years. And the thought there is supposed to be Dabangg 3 does not fill me with any excitement whatsoever.

To say something positive: performances are good, direction too isn´t bad, and there is nothing that would offend anyone´s sentiments I feel.

No fun, no twist, no originality. Dabangg 2 is not worth being an heir to the original.

Singham

Directed by: Rohit Shetty

Starring: Ajay Devgn, Prakash Raj, Kajal Agarwal

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

When I watched it for the first time I was still under the influence of Dabangg, which I had seen just recently, and somehow in my mind I couldn´t help but compare everything in Singham to it. Watching Ajay Devgn beating up the trash out of villains somehow gave me a feeling I have seen something like it already and ultimately Dabangg could have been blamed that I did not enjoy Singham as I probably would if it was released much later or much earlier. It was only during second (and third) viewing that I could appreciate the movie. True – the setting, the seemingly almighty policeman from a village in a familiar khaki uniform, the booming main theme playing whenever he gets angry, the enemies involved in high politics, all that are features the film has in common with Dabangg (and other similar films that have began popping up like mushrooms after rain lately), but Bajirao is not corrupted Chulbul, his plight is not instigated by family problems and his lady love is not at all pleasant to watch. 

The introduction shot. Just so you know that this ain´t gonna be about a socially awkward biscuit seller.

Bajirao Singham is a police inspector serving at the place closest to his heart, his home village. He makes sure no injustice is commited against anyone, and in return he gets devotion and support from one and all. However then he insults a politician Jaikant Shikre – who in fact is nothing more than a complete villain who earns money and is responsible for criminal activities like kidnappings and murders – and to take revenge on him Shikre has Singham transferred to Goa, a town that is completely under his influence, and where Singham has nobody to help him in his efforts. As he soon comes to know, there used to be another police inspector who tried to destroy Shikre and uncover his illegal activities, but ultimately, after months of mental torture and false allegations concerning his own honour, he took his own life. Singham, however, refuses to fall into the same trap.

"I will pee on everything you love."

There is a rather useless love story line thrown into the movie, but it doesn´t contribute anything to the film or even the character of Singham. And unfortunately the actress is so annoying and unconvincing she makes it all one big bore. Childish and immature as Kavya, Kajal Agarwal is not a good match for mature and very manly Ajay Devgn, looking like his daughter. In the scenes with her Ajay also seems to „turn off“, while in his individual scenes he is wonderful. Forget Salman Khan. If there is one actor whose one angry look will make your knees shake and whom you would instantly believe he is capable of tearing iron apart it is Ajay. He is brilliantly matched as far as performance is concerned, by his evil enemy Shikre aka Prakash Raj, who makes his villain a threatening and yet not inhuman (read: not without a certain lack of confidence and some major fears) persona. You can never cheer for Shikre, but you have to cheer for Mr. Raj. Rest of the supporting cast too are good, it was a pleasure seeing Ashok Saraf.

"Thappad se darr nahi lagta sahab!"

"How many times...."

"..do I have to tell you...."

"..this ain´t bloody Dabangg!?"

While I am not completely a fan of all the south masala remakes, Singham is one of the good ones. It has tremendous repeat value (I was quite surprised when I found out I was enjoying it so much the second time, in spite of knowing what and how things are to happen) and although at first I was ready to dismiss it as a wanna be Dabangg, I have to take my first impression back. Singham has things to offer that make it stand on its own feet, in spite of outer similarity to other, similarly presented movies.

But the heroine really sucks.