Hawaizaada

Directed by: Vibhu Puri

Starring: Ayushman Khuranna, Pallavi Sharda, Mithun Chakraborthy

Released: 2015

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Loosely based on the life and alleged achievements of Shivkar Talpade, who is sometimes credited as a maker of the first unmanned plane, which he supposedly constructed with the help of Vedic texts as leads for proportions and materials, Hawaizaada is a product with an ambition to be part Lagaan, part Bollywood extravaganza. I would have enjoyed the film a lot more if it didn´t feel like a huge Saawariya hangover. Mind you, Saawariya is to me a gem of a film, one of my most favourite movies ever. But here the inspiration with Bhansali style of making films is so rampant it actually out-Bhansalies the Bhansali. The one thing missing though is the mystery, atmosphere and deep feeling of it all. Cinematography is stunning and details poetic and wonderful, yet the picturesque beauty lacks soul.

Not only the fairytale-like, colour-harmonized sets larger than life feel familiar. Ayushman Khuranna as Shivy feels familiar too. As if "Raj" from Saawariya just stepped into another story with a different face. They are both young, carefree, optimistic and playing instruments, not worrying of where they are to sleep tonight or what tomorrow will bring. They both fall for a girl who is beautiful in a second, and she becomes their obsession. Where Ranbir was believable in the role, Ayushman does not strike the chord. Perhaps my knowledge of his previous movies interfered too much with the innocence shown here, and so I was simply not convinced, even less so during his weeping scenes. As the film progresses, Ayushman´s over the top act gets actually really annoying. The exumberant, forced smiles, the constant shaking of the head and stubbornly repeated sentimental lines – Shivy with his head of artificial curls has nothing on Ranbir´s Raj. Pallavi Shardha is a girl who I think is destined to be lost to Bollywood viewers soon, simply because she just has hardly any screen presence. Unless luck smiles upon her, I don´t think she will stick around for long as a lead actress.

Then there is of course Mithun Chakraborthy, a man grossly underrated because once upon a time 80s happened to him. I cannot say a bad word about him, and if there is any failing with his character of Shastry, just pin it on the screenplay please.

Clearly, the film was meant to boost some patriotism, being after all set at the time of British dominance over India. And so you can be sure there are petty English officers (awful actors) speaking awful Hindi - even among themselves, and some big patriotic speeches and mottos. I like patriotism, just in films it sometimes gets too much. Hawaizaada does overstep the line, more dramatically as it goes on. Furthermore: I am not keen on technical aspects of building planes, but the movie made it look as easy as nailing few boards together. It takes one particularly harmless bomb to set free and flee with a prisoner right from a courtroom, and the British only find out hours (days?) later. Well, no wonder, since they also apparently have no idea where to look for the guy, even though he lives on a big-ass ship that keeps the lights on and is clearly inhabited.

Better, tighter screenplay and more emphasis on the conflict between love for a girl and dedication to a teacher and friend could have made Hawaizaada a very good film in spite of the blatant ripping off of Saawariya. As it is, it does not deserve more than an average rating.  

Besharam

Directed by: Abhinav Kashyp

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Pallavi Sharda, Rishi Kapoor, Neetu Singh

Released: 2013

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

After drowning us with tears in emotional Rockstar, warming our hearts with delightful Barfi and entertaining us with romantic YJHD Ranbir Kapoor has apparently decided it was time to screw his reputation with Besharam. He is without a doubt my most favourite actor from the new generation (yes, even after this film), but truth to be told that only made the whole matter worse. I admit - I was not as appalled and horrified as I probably should have been, because appalled and horrified reviews kept coming from all sides and my expectations hit rock bottom. When I found some himmat to watch, I was ready for the WORST. The first half is decent - if we forget the disgusting morning erection scene and the most repulsive scene EVER (starring living legend Rishi Kapoor and a toilet) which was not needed and pretty much an INSULT to all his fans. Ranbir is acting well (even though his character is a disgusting creep for most part) and the new girl can dance. And Rishi Kapoor is the one who gives you a few chuckles (when he is not doing potty).

The story is extremely weak, and even though one is not supposed to look for logic in these kind of movies, the stupidity of actions these people go to is just too much. There was no need to steal the car again, at least not once the girl knew the truth. And did they really think they couldn´t be tracked down? Did they really think nobody would look for the money? The bones of this plot are rusty, and the tofu you are trying to plaster on them ain´t no meat. So what that Babli is an orphan. How does that justify him being a thief? And that he gives everything to the orphanage makes even less sense - he could be doing any honest job and do the same. In other words Babli is a thief - because he likes it. There is no majboori involved, no matter how much they are trying to shovel that into your throat.

I will do something I usually hate when others do it and say that Pallavi Sharda is just not beautiful enough. Not for this movie. She IS pretty and she is not a bad actress at all, however this role called for a STUNNING lady that would just catch your eye immediately. And Pallavi does not have this quality. She completely lacks star quality and is very bland. She shares no chemistry with Ranbir (obsessed with his crotch be it in the songs or otherwise) whatsoever, and their love story is very much awkward and superficial. It doesn´t feel natural at all, has no progress.

The girl is treated just bad in the whole movie. She is pursued by the hero because of no other reason than her looks. He is stalking her even though she several times rejects him and makes it clear she has no interest in him whatsoever. Later in the film she is deceived and lied to. And when she gets upset - SHE is the one who gets lectured on being spoilt, heartless and cold. WTF?! Sexist much director saab?

Neetu Singh.... the pyaari Neetu.... got the worst character in the film and is pretty much stripped of all her grace and ellegance. She was obnoxious and annoying and unfortunately only PARTLY because her character sucked. One of the main attractions of the film was the fact the three Kapoors were starring together in it - for the first time ever - but in the end it makes everything even more sad.

In the end I can only say that not even super low expectations save anything - except perhaps it doesn´t make you that mad. It also doesn´t guarantee you will not want to barf at the toilet scene. Besharam Abhinav Kashyap took us for a ride and drove so recklessly we all can only feel sick.