Ishaqzaade

Directed by: Habib Faisal

Starring: Arjun Kapoor, Parineeti Chopra, Gauhar Khan

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

There is new star kid on the block, or rather a producer kid, since we are talking about Arjun Kapoor. And here´s hoping he´s going to take after uncle Anil rather than uncle Sanjay. In his debut, proudly presented by the Yashraj production house, Arjun and Parineeti Chopra, who has so impressed one and all in her small role in very blah Ladies vs. Ricky Bahl last year, set out to burn the world with their own take on Romeo and Juliet, and to make the emnity between their families even more intense, it´s not just them being political rivals that raises the hatred, but also the difference of religion.

Parma (Arjun) is a Hindu. A grandson of an influential politician. A local macho guy. And an ass. Cannot blame him really, after all it seems only his mother has some brains, otherwise his whole family is full of pride and think they are the most clever and awesome bunch of people all around. Zoya is a Muslim. A daughter of an influential politician. A local feisty beauty. And an idiot. Her family seems definitely less stupid than Parma´s, but they still have enough of the very same pride and again are convinced they are the most clever and awesome bunch of people all around. And since election is coming, the ever present war between the two families is anything but imaginary. Zoya can somehow cope with Parma stealing a prostitute dancing at her father´s party to dance at his grandfather´s party, but looses control once he publicly relieves himself at a poster of her dad. She stands up to him. He falls in love with her.

Or so it would seem. Why else would he follow her everywhere, asking her to go out with him? Why else would he dare to come to her yard and bear the merciless beating from her brothers? She charmed him, he claims and stares at her with his dark eyes. And she, slowly, accepts. And too falls in love. Instead of running around the trees they are learning to shoot a gun, instead of a saree floating in a gentle breeze Zoya takes shower with her clothes on while the beautiful “Pareshaan” plays in the background. Finally Parma proposes to her and after bit of a convincing Zoya agrees and in secret marries Parma according to both Muslim and Hindu rite. And according to human rite too (aka they have sex if you didn´t get that). No sooner Parma rolls off of her and the most disgusting twist ever takes place. There was no marriage, Parma says. The priest was a paid actor. He did all this to get Zoya into bed. Unmarried Muslim girl looses her virginity to a Hindu guy, who is her family´s enemy. And Parma makes sure the news is known to one and all. Zoya´s father looses election. And Zoya herself swears revenge.

"I screwed your life. LOL."

I must say that though the film kept me entertained well enough I couldn´t help but feeling something was just so so wrong. The sexism (because it is soaked with it)? Perhaps. The twist? So bloody disturbing (and disgusting as I have already mentioned)! Also the characters were rather confusing and without development jumped from one avatar to another, without explanations. And while I could possibly accept Parma´s change of heart, Zoya´s falling for him AFTER the interval remains absolutely unacceptable to me even now. There are things you do not forgive, and I can´t see why you should be proving your love for the bastard by running away with him. What Parma does to Zoya is unimaginably cruel, way more terrible than for example being unfaithful. The two of them getting together just didn´t seem like the right thing to happen, but happen it did and one had to accept it. I don´t know if complaining that the characters were stupid is in place though. Because for all the silliness and lack of logic they seemed real enough. A horrid thought of today´s youth being actually like this has been haunting me ever since. Or perhaps a confident debut by Arjun and natural performance by Parineeti make it seem so convincing? 

The ending of the film makes sense, yet it is nonsense (and am I making sense here? Huh?). Firstly – why would a girl, who knows her father is ready to kill her, go back home? Secondly – why would their families organize a massive hunt throughout a city and then a school building to kill them? You already had a scandal and you think killing your own kids will improve your image? And finally – you couldn´t find a more painful spot in his body to shoot into, right, Zoya? Who shoots their loved one in a way they suffer for long??? All in all the finale seemed half baked. As if the writers got tired of it all, of the story, of Zoya and Parma and their love.

Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year

Directed by: Shimit Amin

Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Prem Chopra, D. Santosh, Gauhar Khan, Naveen Kaushik

Released: 2009

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Say what you will I´m pretty much convinced Ranbir Kapoor is the future superstar of Bollywood. And that a superstar with great acting skills and killer charisma, as well as a good script sense. Rocket Singh is not a blockbuster hit film material, yet it doesn´t take away the fact it is an interesting an unusual film, especially if you realize it is mainstream Bollywood.

Harpreet Singh Bedi, a fresh graduate, is full of optimism as he decides to start a career as a salesman. He believes he´s got what it takes. He knows how to talk to people, he knows how to convince them, he has enough of tact and diplomacy. And he is not affraid of working hard. What he does lack though is ruthlessness and most importantly the ability to adjust to the world of sales, where corruption and bribes are a daily bread for everyone in the business. Except him. Brought up by a righteous Prem Chopra, the Sikh Harpreet refuses to fall prey to the tricks and although it earns him more trouble than anything he refuses to play according to the accustomed rules. He is determined not to let go of his purity of conscience.

Finally after taking a lot of humiliation and other crap he decides to create his own company – Rocket Sales Corporation. One by one, several other employers are convinced to join hands with him and they create a truly unique bunch of people – and all including a chaaiwalla have an equal partnership. And their company doesn´t take bribes. And they always solve everything quickly and without delays, charging nothing extra. In other words Harpreet manages to run a flawless, almost utopian company – and all that in absolute secrecy. But nothing lasts forever and eventually people who have been loosing clients to the mysterious Rocket corporation find out the truth....

As a Ranbir Kapoor fan I feel proud of the boy for choosing such a film. And he performs with complete dedication. He is one of the few who do not let their off-screen image and persona meddle with his work and as a result he becomes one with the character. Indeed, I would say that during the five years he´s been in the industry he has shown a great versatility, surpassing even older and more experienced actors. Others fit their roles perfectly as well, and all together create a convincing picture of human nature. What needs to be appreciated is that even though Ranbir Kapoor is clearly the only star in the movie, no character is wasted.

The film is (apart from being an unashamed turban porn) a surprisingly realistic take on office life and relationships between bosses and employees. In a way it is one of the „follow your dream“ stories, but without melodrama and seen without pink glasses, and the troubles go beyond disapproving parents and nasty evil characters. Of course the very end is happily ever after one, but that is all. Entertaining is not the word to use here. The film is slow, especially in the first part before everything starts falling into place. I can imagine why the film did not really click at the box office, it doesn´t make for an exciting cinema watch, but it is perfect if you want to indulge in some thinking and musings about possibilities as you are clutching a cup of tea, resting on your sofa.