Jazbaa

Directed by: Sanjay Gupta

Starring: Aishwarya Rai, Irrfan Khan, Shabana Azmi

Released: 2015

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This is another film which I don´t really have a proper rating tag for. Jazbaa is hardly “enjoyable”, but it falls somewhere in between whatever and good. I suppose “reasonably fine” might be the best description. I have little admiration for previous work of Sanjay Gupta (though I admit I have seen just a few of his films), especially after the incredibly awful and over-flowingly sexist Shootout at Wadala. Jazbaa, a remake of a South Korean film, is marginally better than that. As a comeback film it does Aishwarya Rai more favour than for example Ishkq in Paris did to Preity or Dangerous Ishq did to Karishma. Coming on the heels of movies like NH10 or Mardaani, though, it looses some punch. And no ammount of weird green undertones that drown the Jazbaa world can change that.

She may not be kicking anyone´s ass in the physical way, but Anuradha Verma (Aishwarya) kicks ass as a top lawyer. She does not shy away from dirty tricks, from hypnotizing the judge to even tampering with evidence, just to win her case, even if she knows her client is a criminal. No matter of “this is how lawyers are” makes this right. But then her little daughter is kidnapped and Anuradha´s eyes turn almost permanently bloodshot from all the tears she sheds. Soon enough she is informed that the kidnapper wants her to release yet another criminal, a violent rapist and a drug dealer this time, if she wants her daughter back. With the help of her best friend (Irrfan) Johan, a corrupt and suspended police officer, Anuradha starts investigating. Interestingly enough, as you can see, the two main characters are actually far from honest innocents. Their absolution in the end is quite subtle, I didn´t even think about it at first.

Irrfan, usually so good in everything, manages to be a let down. He may be shouting and kicking into trash cans, yet his eyes and face show too clearly he doesn´t give a shit. Shabana Azmi has too little footage to really review anything. She appears in very few scenes, does what she must with clean conscience, and leaves without making much impact. Considering she is eventually revealed as the kidnapper, as well as the mother of the raped and murdered girl, she certainly deserved more space. There is Jackie Shroff in this, for a few moments, and for very ineffective villain shading.

The only noteworthy actor thus remains Aishwarya Rai. There is absolutely no reason for her stretching into all angles possible in tights scene in the opening sequence of the film, other than to show everyone she is indeed back in shape (we all remember how she committed the crime of being pregnant and not loosing weight within a week after the baby came into the world). But stay calm, the director wisely decided we needed to see her all bendy and trim before the film even starts. Not that I mind seeing that, but I am not fond of random shit that doesn´t really tell you anything about the film, the plot or the character. That said, the actress holds her ground and her glamorous image is not exploited after that opening sequence. Some of the scenes showing her anxiety and pain are very over the top, however let´s imagine any loving parents in a similar situation. Sometimes it looks awkward and not pretty to break down. Aishwarya ain´t Meryl Streep and her dialogue delivery will never be perfect, still she gives a solid performance, one that many of the more current Bollywood ladies can so far only dream of.

The biggest problem with Jazbaa, I feel, was the lack of “gripping” factor from the start, and some of the actions seemed so illogical they raised to many questions of why. The things finally got more interesting in the second half, fortunately, still there is little mystery or thrill to rave about. Watch for Aishwarya if you missed her. I did.

Umrao Jaan

Directed by: J. P. Dutta

Starring: Aishwarya Rai, Abhishek Bachchan, Suniel Shetty, Shabana Azmi, Divya Dutta

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

A story of life of a courtesan transformed from literature into a film that indeed feels like a lifetime. That long and that tiring. And so much concerned about the visual part, about how overwhelmingly pretty everything has to look, that it forgets to bring out emotions, fails to invest the viewer into the heroine´s plight. And since that is essential for quite a non-happening story as the one of Umrao Jaan, the movie stands only for tedious wanna-be try at epicness.

Not much is added to the famous story of a girl kidnapped from her family and sold into a brothel, where she grows up into a stunning and talented tawaif, capturing attention and affection of Nawab Sultan. Even this time the love story is doomed. Compared to the 1981 version with Rekha (the comparisms are simply bound to happen) the story is actually even simpler (not a good decision), leaving out the sub-plots involving a fellow tawaif Bismilah, as well as Umrao´s flight from the brothel to live by herself, and sadly also one of the most bitter twists of a similarly kidnapped girl becoming Sultan´s wife. All we are left with are 3 hours of pining after Nawab and crying without end. Indeed, this Umrao Jaan is not much of a company to anyone except one guy.

Truth is that the whole film is really just a passionate love-affair with Aishwarya Rai´s face. Wintin every five minutes there would be a lingering close-up, obsessing about her eyes opening slowly, closing slowly or staring without a blink, and 80% of the time tears would be flowing from them. Indeed she looks stunning throughout, no matter if she is wearing a bejewelled outfit or a simple one, and to be fair her beauty is definitely not the only contributing factor she provides. Aishwarya suits these roles. The Devdas and Jodhaa Akbra ones. She suited this one as well and her performance, even though unnecessary teary, is among her better ones. Her dialogue delivery in this is very good. But still, the seemingly endless dialogues that sometimes last for five or even more minutes, make the viewer impatient and bored. The script and the way story is crafted doesn´t help Aishwarya to connect and invite the audience into her heart and soul, where we could possibly feel with her – something Rekha did so effortlessly in 1981.

While Aishwarya is let down by the script, but otherwise fits, her beloved Nawab Abhishek looks like he found himself on the sets by mistake. There is nothing even remotely regal or dignified about him, and overal his besotted lover act feels thanda. He and Aish make the cutest off-screen couple, but camera is not really nice to them when it comes to chemistry. The relationship seems a bit forced really, with hardly any base. On what did the love grow one has to wonder.

Suniel Shetty as fierce and mysterious Faizal Ali fares better. The character of Gohar Mirza, played back in the day by one and only Naseeruddin Shah, remains unmatched. The young man in this version doesn´t really have the sneakiness or cunningness, and his feelings for Umrao are – as many other things in this – very much simplified and he thus becomes a lot less important. Shabana Azmi and Divya Dutta both give good performances, which is, after all, expected of both of the talented ladies. Also Ayesha Jhulka, an almost forgotten heroine of the 90s, makes a brief appearnce and is lovely.

A big part of Umrao Jaan are the songs, however the film does not deliver in this department either. Apart from „Salaam“, all other melodies and lyrics blend into one, none stands out and all are forgettable. Picturization leaves a lot to be desired as well, that in spite of Aishwarya being a superb dancer. Choreography concentrates way too much on the hands and neglects the rest of the body (I am no expert, and even I can tell the choreographer did not really have much of an idea what to do), relying, like much of the film, on Aishwarya´s beauty to distract the viewer and detract the attention from anything that may not be good enough. Does this strategy work? To an extent. Mrs. Bachchan is more than easy on the eyes. Unfortunately in the end not even that is sufficient to save the film from sinking into oblivion of your mind, where it by all mean belongs.

Sequels and more sequels

Since it is latest fashion in Bollywood to turn films into a franchise or at least make a sequel or two, here come my thoughts on three of them....

Dhoom

Directed by: Sanjay Gandhvi

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, John Abraham, Uday Chopra, Esha Deol, Rimi Sen

Released: 2004

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

At first I thought it was a film made for less talented star relatives, but thankfully it turned out quite well. Abhishek was really good, which in his case is rather rare, but I just did not believe John to be the bad guy. He is a chocolate boy who looks like a lollipop macho, but he is as evil as a tomato soup. This was my first encounter with Uday Chopra, and he suited the role perfectly, and it was also my first encounter with Esha Deol. In her case all Hema Malini´s genes concentrated on making the daughter looks like an exact copy of her mother, but failed in transferring charm and screen presence (forget talent). What I liked the most was probably the editing (except for the scene near the end when Abhishek and John are coming out of the casino when the constant "BOOM and close up on them looking at each other" was used annoyingly often). The story lacked both the investigation process and the planning of the cons, which quite frankly bothered me a bit. I was always just presented the final result without seeing any development - which in cop films like this one are just necessary. Dhoom is primarily a guy´s film - by guys for guys. Full of motorbikes and skinshow

Dhoom 2

Directed by: Sanjay Gandhvi

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Abhishek Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Bipasha Basu

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

From the first second it was clear that this Dhoom is more polished. More fancy. And much, oh so much more stupid. I have a great tolerance to the physically impossible displays of awesomeness, but what is much is too much as we say in Czech. Abhishek and Uday are still both very much stuck in the first Dhoom and have not made any progress altogether on any level at all. Hrithik didn´t have any impact on me – his Filmfare for this reamins the biggest Filmfare joke ever. Bipasha - why was she in this film? She has TWO roles and both are absolutely needless. I was sorry for Aishwarya, because she was just bad, and I know she can do so much better. Her beauty was burried under a THICK layer of very unflattering make-up and Crazy Kiya Re has to be the most overrated song in history of Bollywood. "Why are you wasting your incredible dancing skills?!" line was swirling in my head all the time watching it. The music overally is pretty weak (excep tfor the Dhoom theme which has already appeared in the first film) and the final nail into its coffin hammer the English lyrics, that in this case just do not work. Whatever the suspence in the first Dhoom, there is absolutely none in this. And I cannot help but wonder WHY in the world is this going to have another sequel.

Housefull

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, Deepika Padukone, Riteish Deshmukh, Lara Dutta, Arjun Rampal, Boman Irani, Chunky Pandey

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I can´t believe I´m saying this but most of it I actually enjoyed. Not liked. Enjoyed. Anyway it is definitely a bad film, and though the skin show is not ever present it has a somehow sleazy feel throughout. The showstealers were Boman Irani and Chunky Pandey, and I one of the reasons I enjoyed the movie was Lara Dutta (the woman is just not in enough films!). The story is next to none, there is just one big mess of a confusion given by switching multiple partners according to situation.

Housefull 2

Directed by: Sajid Khan

Starring: Akshay Kumar, John Abraham, Rishi Kapoor, Randhir Kapoor, Mithun Chakraborthy, Riteish Deshmukh, Asin, Jacqueline Fernandez, Shreyas Talpade, Zarine Khan

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Indeed the house was full from basement to the roof. Sequels are rarely met with such a good response, but Housefull 2 did more than well and after a series of flops Akshay Kumar returned from the oblivion. There is not much different from the first film. The plot and the jokes are yet again based on loads of lies and partner changes, just unlike last time Akshay is not an innocent fool but a cunning kamina. Truly, housefull 2 brings nothing new to town, except a really delightful on screen meeting of Rishi and Randhir Kapoor as two brothers who hate each other, but have many things in common. There are way too many damn characters to remember and way too many damn deceptions to really keep a track, but to be honest I found the over the top unlikely situations absolutely hilarious – and credit goes more to the art of the actors than anything else. Seven women in the story (two mothers, four girlfriends and a dancer) have absolutely nothing to do, and womenfolk is pretty much presented as kind of dumb, but all the men are just splendid in their comedy (I especially need to mention to I-am-a-joking Chunky Pandey as Aakhri Pasta). More than a sequel it is a upgraded version of the previous movie and definitely the funniest film of the whole first half of 2012.

Dhamaal

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Riteish Deshmukh, Javed Jaffrey

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The OTT is so Indra Kumar... However in all that OTT there is heart somewhere. True enough, I was not able to finish this at one go, because it would give me headache after a while, but I kept returning to it till without regrets. It was amusing, though not exactly hilarious. I could have done without the stupid souds indicating that "this was funny", seriously in a film like this (meaning FULL of silly jokes) we wouldn´t have missed that the joke already happened. I must admit I was genuinly teary-eyed in the end.... Sanjay Dutt was made for such roles. He was awesome and by far the most funny of them all, without making faces and talking rubbish. My love for Riteish was justified yet again, loved him as well. Fine timepass.

Double Dhamaal

Directed by: Indra Kumar

Starring: Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi, Riteish Deshmukh, Javed Jaffrey, Mallika Sherawat, Kangana Ranaut

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Yet another story of four not that brilliant guys trying to get rich quickly and without work. As much as I enjoyed the first one, this one is not as half as funny and also lacks all the heartwarming moments. In fact the only fun and simles I had came in the last hour. This time it´s not Sanjay Dutt, but Ritesh Deshmunk who takes the cake for the best performance, his "Tukya" was purely hilarious! I´m almost ashamed to say I found Mallika Sherawat much more natural and bearable then Kangana, who, to be honest, is starting to annoy me really bad. All in all there is LOTS of OTT Indra Kumar style (as usual and expected), and way too many references to other films actually take away from the wit.  

Dil Ka Rishta

Directed by: Naresh Malhotra

Starring: Arjun Rampal, Aishwarya Rai, Ishaa Koppikar, Paresh Rawal, Rakhee Gulzar

Released: 2003

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Was this a film or an Argentinian soap opera? Can´t decide for the life of me. It reminds one of a train wreck (or should I say a car wreck?) - you inwardly know from the start it´s going to be horrible to watch, but you just keep on watching. Mostly because you have no idea what to do and the feeling of being utterly helpless against silliness they are trying to sale you by being all so serious. This is definitely one of those films one wonders how did everybody manage to keep a straight face.

Who´s this guy anyway?

Arjun (with some really weird, unflattering hair that kept distracting me) plays a wealthy guy Jai, who supports charity and has a habit to talk to his dead mother´s anklets in time of need. He falls in love literally on the first sight with a beautiful teacher Tia (Aish) and soon after proposes to her. Much to his unpleasant surprise Tia is already in a relationship with a perfect guy, and hence Jai has to satisfy himself with creeping up on the couple here and there with painfully unfitting joyful music in the background as he does that (Hey hey hey... la la la.....). After he drinks too much one night, Jai causes a car accident. He survives, but his friend Anita (short and useless role for Isha Koppikar) dies on the spot as well as – gasp – Tia´s husband! Tia herself survives, but looses her memory. Her amnesia is that special Bollywood kind (see also Jab Tak Hai Jaan) when reminding her would kill her you know.

Because in Bollywood you´re supposed to root for creepers.

So now we have Jai, who, instead of going to jail for killing two people because he was driving totally drunk, offers Tia´s mom (Rakhee fuming flames and basically just waiting for Karan Arjun even though she´s in a different movie) he would whisk her, Tia and Tia´s little son into South Africa, where nobody can remind Tia of her past, and he would tell her the baby is his and Anita´s. Tia accepts all this without questions and pretty much from the next day till the end she keeps blabbering how important it is to move on from those who died (HA! If only you knew you´d be the mopy one!) and does everything in her power to romance Jai, who in his turn has bad conscience.

Mere Karan Arjun aayenge!

For God´s sake snap out of it, woman!

Indeed, every ten minutes felt like an episode of a soap opera, with mood swings and silly reasons for action. The ending is abrupt and pretty much useless. If you´re waiting for some drama when Tia remembers – she is probably the first on screen character who doesn´t and happily falls in the arms of her old creeper.

Arjun is a poor actor. I used to be quite impressed by him, but more films I see the more clear it is to me how limited and repetitive he is. There is no passion in him, and while his voice is pleasant to listen to, the intonation is far from being utilized. Aishwarya is better than him, but as much as I think she rocks in subtle, quiet, dignified and mature roles, she is a major pain in bubbly/funny/girly ones – and this is one of the latter. Somebody should stop her from laughing on screen! She dances beautifully, but no song is truly memorable, and to put give you a shocking news, I don´t think she looked good in the film either.

Dil Ka Rishta is a bubblegum nonsense, a kind of story I imagine Danielle Steel putting together to make some of her female readers teary-eyed. Not worth your time if you´re looking for recommendation.

Yo te quiero Don Jai!

Aur Pyar Ho Gaya

Directed by: Rahul Rawail

Starring: Bobby Deol, Aishwarya Rai, Anupam Kher, Shammi Kapoor

Released: 1997

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Aur bakwaas ho gaya. Aishwarya´a entry into Hindi films is not only not memorable but it is actually very much desirable to pretend it never happened in the first place. Sadly she was no acting miracle and so she is also responsible for the movie balancing on the edge of unwatchability, but the blame needs to be put also on extremely shallow script, bad direction, forgettable music, and Bobby Deol, whom I just cannot take seriously. My view on him and his questionable hairstyle may be changed if I stumble upon a film that will present him to me in a more favourable light (like it happened to Rishi Kapoor), but so far Bobby boy was not lucky in that aspect.

We first meet beautiful young Aarshi at her friend´s sangeet (the best five minutes of whole movie for Aishwarya´s gorgeousness and dancing), and a bit later buying a super expensive horse. Just so we know she is filthy rich. Her father then fixes her marriage with a family friend´s son Rohit, and Aarshi has no objections, even though she has not even seen a photo of her future husband. But then one of her already married friends commits suicide (no less!), because obviously her husband turned out to be quite a kamina after the wedding, and THAT is when Aarshi realizes it might not be the best idea to just get married without knowing the person. And so she has a super original idea. She is going to stalk the man (she doesn´t even know what he looks like), who conveniently for a 90s Bollywood stays at Switzerland at the time. The whole point of taking Aarshi there is to make Aish wear some cool and latest 90s fashion western outfits and super short skirts.

In Switzerland she bumps into a hairy guy who annoys her extremely (yeah, this is Bobby Deol making his entry while dancing awkwardly with her photo in his breast pocket), only to assume few more annoyances later he is probably the guy she flew down to check out. To her great pleasure he is practically a saint and Aarshi promptly falls in love. 

But the guy is not Rohit... yadda yadda yadda.... doesn´t matter cause he´s too filthy rich...yadda yadda yadda.... he makes fun of Aarshi´s dad unknowingly... because of that daddy dearest forbids the marriage.... yadda yadda yadda.... more extremely weird problems.... yadda yadda yadda..... happy ending. I lost my interest pretty soon. The film obviously aspired to be a romance aka DDLJ (just BIGGER so Bobby in the end doesn´t help Aarshi into a train but actually outruns an airplane and STOPS it by crashing an animated car in front of it for which I suppose he was later arrested and charged but film ends before that happens). Most of it was so cringe worthy I wouldn´t label it even „unintentionally funny“, because I felt sincerely embarrassed watching it and its protagonists being stupid.

Aishwarya, bless her heart, has always been a beautiful girl, and thank God for that, because her looks was really the only saving grace of the whole movie. Other then that she was atrocious, possibly one of the worst female performances I have seen in my whole life. Her face was unmoving, her dialogue delivery made my ears bleed and her overacting made me tear my heart out of frustration. She was really cute in the scenes with Shammi Kapoor though. Bobby Deol, as I have already said, was just awkward to watch (Dharmendra´s children were just not blessed with his looks or talent), Anupam Kher pull off yet another of his OTT performances when you have difficulty deciding if he is brilliant or awful (in this particular case I tend to believe the latter), Shammi has a very small role, but it was lovely to see him for a few moments at least.

Awful launch for Aish and a „let´s suffer“ movie if you are in a masochistic mood (that I have to admit I sometimes am and that is why I end up watching even films nobody else would).

Guzaarish

Directed by: Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Aishwarya Rai, Aditya Roy Kapoor

Released: 2010

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Do you remember that scene from Om Shanti Om where Shahrukh Khan is supposed to play a suffering deaf and blind lover with no functional limbs? And what his reaction is? „This film will be critically acclaimed, it will win awards..... but this film will flop!“ Of course we all remember that scene. But I suspect Sanjay Leela Bhansali never saw the film (that by the way beaten his own Saawariya hollow, releasing at the same day). Had he watched the movie and saw th scene, he probably wouldn´t have made Guzaarish – or perhaps would treat it bit differently. SLB is responsible for some of my most favourite movies. In fact right from Khamoshi to Saawariya I cannot rate them lower than 9/10, that´s how perfect they are to me. Guzaarish however, made me unwillingly put my bias toward the director aside and admit that what they say is true. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a megalomaniac who boasts a lot and the more he is trying to create a perfect film the more annoying he gets. Guzaarish in the end feels wanna-be-ish and rather pretentious.

Strong Saawariya deja-vu....

Just like Black and Saawariya (and to an extent Devdas), Guzaarish too takes place in some unnamed reality, which seems familiar enough, but yet it is impossible to pinpoint it in space and time. That is, after all, SLB´s vision of making „timeless“ films. However while his previous films (filled with overwhelming gorgeousness) had feelings to live, strong messages to shout and intriguing characters to meet, Guzaarish lacks the magic. Perhaps because it never evolves beyond the idea introduced at the very beginning and doesn´t take the opportunity to speed up and sweep you off your feet in the whirlwind of emotions. It is definitely not the Bhansali I know. Maybe he also fails because for the first time ever he was not making an ode to love? Sure, love is present, but demands no attention.

"I lied! I want everybody´s attention!"

The films touches a rather sensitive matter of euthanasia, but (fortunately) does not state the ultimate opinion, neither is the point of view forced to the public. It doesn´t get preachy, or not too much. In the end it is a simple story of a man, who wants to leave life, that is slowly slipping away from him anyway.

"LOL let´s die today!"

What saves the movie are the performances. Hrithik as a disabled magician, who is in dreams still haunted by the adoring applause of the audience, was amazing. His facial expressions were spot on and there are very few actors, who could have done better, maybe not even the same. From deeply desperate to maniac-like joy, he gives his all to the character. The show-stealer in a beautifully subtle role is, however, his devoted nurse aka THE Aishwarya Rai I love and always dreamed of getting her back after the disasters of Raavan and Action Replayy (sadly it only confirms the theory about her needing Bhansali or Mani Ratnan to bring out the best in her). Their interaction is interesting to watch, although the unending verbal sexual innuendos in between them seem cheap and Aish´s moaning scene pure awkward. It almost ruined the film for me at the very beginning. Yes, after watching it whole you understand why Ethan talks like that and why she responds, but it simply comes a a complete shocker and not everybody will be as understanding and willing to understand as I am. 

She was amazing... but even if she was crap you´d forgive her because... look at her face!

All the supporting cast was very good too, although Aditya Roy Kapoor seems destined to be the new age comic side-kick. A new generation Johnny Lever in a way. What irritated me BIG TIME was the constant slipping into English by all the characters, beyond the limit of tolerable. Too much of it. Music is beautiful, but it does not live up to standarts of Devdas, HDDCS or Saawariya soundtrack´s quality (and again – English songs in Hindi films are just not done).

In the end I was quite confused. By Ethan, who preaches about living life to the fullest, but wanting to die. By Sophia, who doesn´t want to let him go, but is the one to kill him with his consent. By depressingly beautiful visuals, that actually creeped me out instead of bringing the sense of enjoyment. Something was simply missing. Guzaarish is not a bad film by any means, however coming from Sanjay Leela Bhansali it is a huge disappointment and his weakest work as yet.

"True story!"

Guru

Directed by: Mani Ratnam

Starring: Abhishek Bachchan, Mithun Chakraborthy, Aishwarya Rai, Madhavan, Vidya Balan

Released: 2007

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

It might have been the setting, the overall look of the film, which was visually very pleasing, it might have been a really good music - and it was definitely the great work of all the actors involved, that earned this movie such a high mark from me. I generally love films set in the past, and for whatever reason they are rather rare in Bollywood, which is only a reason more why to appreciate Guru.

The film opens in the year 1951 in a small Gujarat village, where young boy has both big dreams and strict unsupportive father. Gurukant (or Guru) because of that practically runs away from home, absolutely determined to make it big no matter what, and because he does not lack common sense, he enters the spice trade business in Turkey, learns everything there is to learn about making money and at that point he decides he´s worked enough for others and the time has come to work for himself. But big dreams cost a lot and upon his return to India Guru does not have financial resources to start his own business. 

Poor and ambitious groom.

He decides to take the quickest and most popular way to enrich himself – he gets married. He does not care at all if the girl in question does not like him, if she has tried to runaway with somebody else, if she is older to him, or even if she is ugly – and except for the last bit all those things are true. An so drop-dead gorgeous Sujata is married off to Guru, and in spite of not all that romantic beginning their relationship grows stronger with time, until by the end it is really the only stable thing in Guru´s life...

Rich and unimpressed bride.

Anyway – finally Guru has enough money, and because he´s bold, daring and not ashamed of not-that-completely-legal ways either, his business soon starts to progress. And it grows bigger. And bigger.... Enjoying popularity among thousands of people he provides with jobs, Guru ruthlessly pursues success. Bribing people and smuggling parts for polyester mills and other machines that fill his factories is a daily bread for him. But all this success is also a source of a serious rift that is created between Guru and Manik Dasgupta – aging but still ass-kicking Mithun Chakraborthy in a role worthy of his talent and once legendary status – a mighty newspaper publisher, who for years acted like a father figure to him, because „nanaji“ does not approve of Guru´s illegal means. His untiring attempts to reveal Guru´s illegal actions give me a reason for immense happiness, because that is where Madhavan (Madhavaaaaaaaaannnnn.... oooooooohhhhhhhh.........my teddy bear.... my chweeeeeeeeeett chweeeeeeett teddy..... that dusky colouring and those eyeeeeeeeeeeesssssssss..... I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu) comes into the picture, even if for a limited time....

The disco dancer of the 80s! YAY!

Abhishek Bachchan is astoundingly good as Guru, with all the changes that happen through the progress of time in the movie – from witty and stubborn youngster, through manipulative and arrogant businessman to ultimately depressed and helpless patient, he convinces the viewer completely. The film is his, and he proves that he is a very good actor. I believe a lot of him not being a saleable actor come from the lack of x-factor then acting skills, and many people also don´t take him seriously because of his father´s larger than life persona he, sadly and unfairly, has to compete with. At the same time Abshishek has given a fair share of bad and „lazy“ performances, and nobody will convince me he is not getting the lead roles still because of his family name and connections.

Abhishek´s physical "evolution" in the film was impressive - including grey hair and weight gain.

The role of Guru is meaty, there is a lot to work with, but somehow it wouldn´t be completely without supporting characters, that help to shape the image of the hero throughout the story. Already I have mentioned Sujata – Aishwarya, looking splendidly gorgeous (which, let´s face it, is the first thing that comes to your mind when she appears) and giving a great performance herself. Both those facts are reasons why I was a bit disappointed by the amount of screen-time she was given, in fact she hardly has had any role in the second half. Not fair, really.

Aishwarya as the woman behind the man.

I have already mentioned that Mithun Chakraborthy has not lost anything from his charisma or acting skill, and I was actually surprised how happy I was to see him on the screen. Madhavan, my teddy bear, was excellent as always. There is something incredibly likeable about him. And he is good. Period. His pairing with Vidya Balan (as Mithun´s grand-daughter slowly dying of multiple sclerosis), is very pleasant and his love for her incredibly touching. Their storyline gave the film a gentle feel and romantic touch, that somehow was amiss from Guru´s own relationship with his wife (where there was love, caring, devotion, but not much of a „romantic romance“).

With all due respect to Abhi/Aish, these two were THE jodi for me.

The atmosphere, the overall look and music, everything is done with much apparent care and together with performances and very human story creates an interesting collage, which at time, I admit is on the verge of boredom, but ultimately works.

Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
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WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
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TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

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MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
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BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.