Chandni

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Rishi Kapoor, Sridevi, Vinod Khanna, Waheeda Rehman, Anupam Kher

Released: 1989

My rating: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Chandni is iconic. No doubt about that. Even if only for introducing the myth of Yash Chopra´s „eternal woman in white“. Myth, because after Chandni, she hardly appears in any other of his films. Yet so deep is the image of Sridevi dancing an enticing tandav engrained in all our minds, that we accept her as something definite. Yash Chopra´s „woman in white“ has always been adn always will be Sridevi in Chandni, and no one else. However much like another film that set certain standards - Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge - Chandni too is a movie that has its own problems, and though iconic, it ain´t untouchable. So let´s touch it today, with some delicacy and some less delicacy as well.

Rishi Kapoor plays an obnoxious rich dude who employs all the annoying, forceful ways of getting closer to a girl he likes, and pretty much gives her no choice in matter of loving him back. When life turns tables on him and does not go the way he planned it to, he falls into depression, gives up completely, and slips into a hardcore self-pity mode. In short he is a douche. Sridevi plays beautiful, annoying in her childish mode, touching in her serious mode, Chandni, who likes to dance in the rain and is... well... beautiful. That truly seems the most prominent feature that Yash Chopra chose to endorse in his heroine that time. Sridevi with her thick mane of hair, long limbs, shy smiles and of course those huge eyes looked like a fairy-tale come true. The first half is cruel to her character though, as she is merely dragged along by Rishi and his family. But Chandni also manages to pick up the pieces of her shattered heart and make a new life for herself, complete with a successful career job and a new man who falls in love with her.

Enter grief-stricken Vinod Khanna, whose mother Waheeda Rehman is probably closer to him in age than his first pyaar Juhi Chawla, who appears in a small but sweet cameo. He is all that Rishi Kapoor (in this film) is not. Thorough gentleman, principled, going after his desires but not forcing himself where he is not wanted. So naturally he does not get the girl in the end, because Rishi suddenly decides he wants Chandni back – and much like in the beginning he blackmails her into a renewed relationship. Sigh. I was ready for Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam after this, to heal my aching soul. The score of the film did its share of healing too, for if there is something worth going back to, it´s the music – yes, including the out-of-tune Sridevi parts of „Oh meri Chandni“. The already mentioned wild tandav in nature is stunning and „Tere Mere Hoton Pe“ remains possibly my favourite track ever picturized on Sridevi. Chandni is also, quite possibly, the last film in which I was ready to accept Rishi Kapoor as a romantic hero. No matter what problems the characters displayed, all the actors did a good job with their roles, even if Anupam Kher going around and mouthing tutotial on life and love was boring. Again, I much prefered his meddling in Lamhe than here.

Did I mention these two get their own Switzerland song?

Chandni is one of the best known Yash Chopra films, and was one of his most successful ventures, however compared to let´s say Lamhe it lags behind, as a nice, but all in all average film. It is a notch better than Kabhi Kabhie though, being more tight in screenplay and not bothering about too many characters. Furthermore in spite of the obnoxious boyfriend (hell he even tricks the girl into getting drunk in pursuit of bodily pleasures), Chandni must have been a revelation at the time when action masalla had its boom. It aimed for simplicity and lots, lots of romance, on which it delivered (though there is still the question of the douche who initiates it all. And the whole Switzerland bit was unneccessary.). I have given up on Yash Chopra films being great in terms of script, rather it is best to simply let go and try and enjoy the atmosphere he managed to create. With this film he succeeded in conjuring up a charming little thing, even if only with help of Sridevi´s beauty and lovely music.

Nagina

Directed by: Harmesh Malhotra

Starring: Rishi Kapoor, Sridevi, Amrish Puri, Prem Chopra

Released: 1986

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I HATE snakes. And this movie reminded me why. They are quick, noiseless and the way they move freaks me out. Usually I cannot even stand the sight of them. But I´m willing to watch this film again and again! Yes, it is good, one of the actual classics among the 80s pile of average crap. And let´s not play games: it is so because of Sridevi and Amrish Puri. While the movies would still be good with Jayapradha, the original choice for the film, Sridevi gave it something special and to be honest I think this is my favourite performance of hers. But more on that later.

Sweater-wala Rajeev (Rishi) returns home from abroad after 15 years, to his loving mother (who probably had him when she was 11) in India ready to take over family business, till now managed by an unusually friendly Prem Chopra, who is hoping that in return for a good service Rajeev would marry his beloved daughter. It may all have just gone according to plan, but „Raju“ falls in love with a mysterious young woman he encounters in the misty-veiled ruins of an ancient mahal. Rajni (Sridevi) introduces herself as a poor orphan, and Raju is happy enough to accept that and prance around the trees with her. But breaking manager daughter´s heart may just yet prove costly....

Nagina starts as a typical romance against all odds movie, but as it progresses it turns more to an action and family drama (with saas-bahu conflict) with distinct horror features. Those are rather subtle – for Bollywood at least - which makes them all the more effective. It is a great reminder that you don´t need super computer effects to create an illusion of supernatural and mysterious being real. From the haunting hide-and-seek song in the ruins of an old building to ever-present snakes following the protagonists everywhere, it gives hints but is never „in your face“. It is not predictable – another considerable plus.

Rishi Kapoor was already beginning to look very much out of shape at the time. There can be no questioning his acting abilities, but as a jawaan chokra for whom the girls are vying for after one glance he was not suitable anymore. Though yes, the charm he excludes makes his pairing with Sridevi quite nice (something which cannot be said for any actress younger than her, whom he romanced in the decade that followed). His character is not too endearing either. Raju comes off as somebody who cannot deal with anything himself and is constantly in need of help and guidance, be it from the manager, his mother of Rajni. He is actually just a pawn moving from one stronger persona to the next.

The film belongs to Sridevi, as I have already mentioned. Though dubbed by someone else in several scenes, she did just absolutely wonderful in the role. The highlight has to be her interaction with Amrish Puri. The fierceness she projects while threatening him can only be matched by his own thundering dialogues of the dark and the supernatural. Indeed, it is these two performers who steal the show and others just do not match. The legendary Main Teri Dushman dance number is a crowning jewel of Sridevi´s performance – and film. A song that actually sounds rather unpleasant was made into a fabulous spectacle by the dancer and choreographer (it is, to my knowledge, the song that put Saroj Khan on the map.)

One thing I could have done without was the (un)neccesary comic track. Apart from the usual loud people who talk but don´t think it was full of fat people and nasty wives jokes, that everyone in the film seemed to find hilarious, while I kept rolling my eyes and cringe. Ironically the funniest moment has to be the very end: „they lived happily ever after“ title plastered over an image of Raju sobbing over his mother´s corpse was just too unexpected and too much of a temptation for the cynic in me.

Himmatwala

Directed by: K. Raghavendra Rao 
Starring: Jeetendra, Sridevi, Amjad Khan Kader Khan, Waheeda Rehman 
Released: 1983

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Classic by the influence it had on the fashion of filmmaking at its time (which kind of explains why 80s mostly sucked), and one damn overrated film when it comes to quality, Himmatwala is better to be avoided, unless you are in mood for a boring heroism of a ridiculous hero, some bad acting and unintenionally hilarious tragedies. Himmatwala also failed to give me what I wanted: Sridevi. Because ironically, although this is the film that catapulted her to stardom practically overnight, she has next to no role and 80% of her screentime is focused on her waist-down. And she is no miracle in the film either, in spite of her undeniable screen presence.

Cause darn it was not acting that made her the star of Himmatwala.

But let me introduce you our hero first. He wears the coolest 80s fashion, he sports the awesome Elvis haircut, his name is Ravi and he is definitely too old for the role. After years he spent studying he got his degree in engineering and now returns to his village. He is shocked to find out his mother (who in real life happens to be just six years older to him – and that she is my beloved Waheeda Rehman makes this crime even more horrible) and younger sister have sold their house long time ago and are living like beggars in dirty huts. Why? Here the sob story: Once upon a time his father was a respected school master, but after he testified against local rich villain Sher Singh he was trapped by him and accused of a rape. He is ostracized and leaves his family without a word. (and Ravi apparently suffers from amnesia, because he doesn´t remember a thing from all this, in spite of being at least 7 years old at the time). The broken wife of the teacher decides her son should become a big man by studying in the city (while her daughter is obviously not good enough and can happily slog and live in poverty.)

 So now the village is completely under control of Sher Singh (who has a really bothersome and IMO needlessly complicated way of killing his enemies, involving railtracks) and on mercy to a whim of his spoilt and pretty beti (this is where Sridevi´s leather pants make an entry). But Ravi is not afraid! Ravi is and educated man capable of beating anyone up with his hands as well as never ending motivational speeches about duty and righteousness, that will make your head ache. And then... you guessed it. Ravi triumphs over Sher Singh, turns his daughter from a spoilt kid in leather pants into a Sati Savitri wrapped exclusively in sarees and lives to see the day his father returns home. Meanwhile he saves India from post-flood apocalypse, giving us a song with... corpses.

Jeetendra I just don´t get. Every film I´ve seen him in I found his a very bad actor. No dialogue delivery, no screen presence, no body language. And as already mention, too damn old to be a fresh graduate running around the trees with a child-like Sridevi. She in her turn does what the director wanted her to: making silly faces and speaking in squeeky voice. It has been proven lots of times she is capable of so much more, but sadly this “cutesy” act became her main image. To give credit where it´s due her Naino Mein Sapna dance number is a highlight of the film, and really addictive. Rest of the songs left me rather cold (except for Taki O Taki, but I´d rather not mention Jeetendra and his “jumping Jack” dancing style) and Wah Wah Khel has to be one of the most retarded songs and picturizations I´ve ever seen.

Supporting cast boasting of great names like Amjad Khan, Waheeda Rehman and Kader Khan, don´t leave much of an impression either. Amjad is not a scary villain in this (what a contrast to Gabbar from Sholay!), and why Waheeda did this film, being as picky and generally having a good script sense, is beyond my understanding. Apart from making me loathe the name „Ravi“, Himmatwala showed me that some films just cannot last in the long run and don´t stand the test of time. I don´t think Himmatwala has anything timeless and transcending the years. I would only recommend it to die-hard Sridevi fans, and that too purely for research purposes. Better go and watch the iconic Naino Mein Sapna on youtube and that on repeat (at least her dancing ability was fully put to use!). I am largely sceptic about remakes, but frankly, I think the new Himmatwala, that will be here soon with bells-swinging Ajay Devgn (also too old for the role. Meh.), can only be better.

English Vinglish

Directed by: Gauri Shinde

Starring: Sridevi, Adil Hussain, Priya Anand

Released: 2012

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

We can now sleep a bit more peacefully because we have Sridevi back in films. In times when we are really to applaud even a decent performance by some of the Bollywood top stars it is extremely refreshing to see a person like her making movies again. She has always had talent and screen presence, and both remain undiminished. She is looking great for her age and her expressions are still beautiful. True enough – till this day her dialogue delivery is far from perfect. But Sridevi was clever enough to turn this weakness into a strength – by signing the dotted line of English Vinglish, a film that is all about troubles with language - and some more troubles you pick up along the way.

The film tells a story of Shashi, an ordinary Indian wife and mother of two (out of which one is actually a bit too small for you not to wonder how old is Shashi supposed to be. Sridevi looks younger than she is, but not as young for you not to try and think is she had this small child after she was forty? Possible of course....), who lives for her family. Caring about their every need, she definitely doesn´t feel her life would be wasted and she doesn´t complain. She is happy with what she has. The only thing that takes away from her being content is that her children and husband almost daily remind her she doesn´t know English. They tease her about it (in better case) or are annoyed with her for it. Shashi does not seek a way to prove them wrong. And even when an opportunity comes her way, she takes it not to show them how horrible they are (which would be completely understandable), but for herself, to gain some confidence.

Shashi´s departure for America, where she is going for a month to prepare and attend her niece´s wedding, was a bit too mopy for my taste. It actually looked like Shashi was leaving her family forever never to return. I understand it was meant to show how distressed and scared she was about stepping into the unknown, but considering all her journey was getting from a car at the airport and getting into a car at another airport (all including family members), it showed her character as perhaps too weak for getting more sympathy. There are limits. And there are more little flaws in the film. They have more in common with one´s thinking and outlook than with the script. For example I found the behaviour of Shashi´s daughter completely unacceptable. I cannot imagine ever talking to my mother like that, not even when furious, because our upbringing was such, and here was a little girl intentionally humiliating her mother – and she was allowed to do so, because neither of her parents bothered to correct her ways. You brought this upon yourself, Shashi. Not feeling sorry for your lack of parenting skills. A scene I sincerely disliked though, and that for me pretty much betrayed the main point of the movie, was when Laurent and Shashi laugh at the fat girl in the subway. Considering Shashi has issues at being ridiculed and put down, this was very nasty of her, one would think she would not do such a thing, especially because with a fat person you can never tell if they are not ill or anything (and even if they are not, it´s simply not done). She and Laurent could have bond over ANYTHING from baquettes to basket full of labrador puppies - but no. Let them laugh at the fat girl.

It is curious that Gauri Shinde did not have any name in mind while writing the story and character of Shashi, because she fits Sridevi perfectly. The shyness, the self-confidence just waiting to be woken up, the struggle with a new language, all that fits Sridevi perfectly – and she melts into Shashi almost literally. It is impossible really to imagine any other actress in the role, she made it her own. Rest of the cast ranks from good to tolerable. I for one was not smitten with Mehdi Nebbou´s long stares and preferred next to everybody else in the class to him (I kept wondering if he knew Shashi was married and if he did.... what exactly did he expect?). Adil Hussain, Priya Anand.... all of them together created Shashi´s reality, but in the end one cannot really talk about performances because it was really all about Shashi and her reactions to them, not about their view on her. It was about little things that were Shashi´s everyday life and that seem more important than anything to women like her. The only exception is the short and delightful cameo by Amitabh Bachchan. In those few minutes he has in the film he steals the show with his comic timing.

Music, editing, pace and visuals again – fitted. The parts on their own may not be amazing, but together they work well. Some of the dialogues are truly wonderful, even thought-provoking. “Do all important things only happen in English” is one of them. And I was very impressed by (quite revolutionary for a Hindi movie) “I don´t need love. Just a little bit of respect” line. I think the greatest strength of English Vinglish, that also resulted in its success at BO, it relatibility to Shashi by thousands (and possibly millions) of women who are like her – dedicated to family and pretty much taken for granted. Shashi emerges as an inspiring idol, who shows that you can have your confidence, feel good about yourself, and there is no need to make dramatic scenes or doing something extremely drastic. I personally could not identify with her (I am neither a housewife nor a desi for that matter), and she did not remind me of my mother (or any other woman from our family, I guess we treat them better) which takes away from the impact of the film for me.

Sridevi struggles with a word „judgemental“ in the film – which, on a plus side, is anything but. There are brown people and white people and „yellow“ people and gay people in the film, all side by side. And nobody has a problem with anyone. The behind-the-scenes-star of the movie, Gauri Shinde, thus gives a lesson in tolerance, without being preachy, but true enough - the film is often riding on stereotypes (OTT gay teacher, lewd joke in the classroom.....), which takes away from the charm a bit.

English Vinglish is a very good and sweet movie that did not left me teary-eyed, but with a smile on my lips. Both Gauri Shinde and Sridevi deserve a big congratulation. Gauri for writing an original and unique script and bringing the best out of her cast, Sridevi for her comeback choice and sensitive performance. It is not about learning English after all.

Lamhe

Directed by: Yash Chopra

Starring: Anil Kapoor, Sridevi, Waheeda Rehman, Anupam Kher

Released: 1991

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

As the sad news of a sudden demise of Yash Chopra seeps in, probably every Bollywood fan stops for a minute and thinks about the legacy this man left behind. I have never tried to hide that I found many of his films overrated, and this feeling remains. At the same time one cannot deny that Yash Chopra was a man who inspired many other filmmakers and influenced Bollywood like only few other people did. And finally I thought to myself that this sad moment actually gives me an opportunity to review a film I consider his absolutely best, and without seconds thought a deserved classic.

A young NRI Viren (Anil Kapoor without his trademark stache) and his old nurse (Waheeda Rehman with her trademark grace) return after many years to India, Rajasthan, where Viren officially takes over the property left to him by his deceased parents. Grown up in London, Viren finds India a strange, yet interesting place. Even more interesting since his neighbour´s daughter Pallavi (Sridevi) appoints herself his guide and friend. And soon enough quiet and romantic Viren falls in love with vivacious and life-loving Pallavi, regardless of the fact she is older to him. One cannot wonder. Sridevi as Pallavi is utterly gorgeous, Yash Chopra was in the end someone who always made his actresses look stunning. However all too soon her father dies and heartbroken Pallavi soon after break Viren´s heart, as she misses his open arms only to fall into another man´s embrace. The shaken Viren comes to know Pallavi has been in love with Siddhart, an air force pilot, and to ensure her happiness, Viren has the two of them married. Nursing a wounded heart he then returns to England, and unsuspecting Pallavi keeps him informed about her life in letters, which he stores with almost religious fervour, as well as few other little mementos, including the anklet she lost that night she danced for him in the desert....

But after just few months of happy togetherness Siddhart and Pallavi both perish in a car accident, leaving behind a tiny baby girl, whom Pallavi manages to entrust to Viren´s old nurse Dai jaa. The older woman names the baby Pooja and brings her up in India, where Viren finances everything, but only comes there once a year, to remember death of his love. Not once he agrees to see Pooja , although he bears no ill will to her, and showers her with gifts. The curious girl (also played by Sridevi, because whenever Sridevi has a baby in a film, it looks exactly like her), however, could not be less satisfied. After all, she has decided a long time ago in her kid heart, that one day she is going to marry this mysterious benefactor of hers. Clueless, just like her mother, about what lies in Viren´s heart.....

Lamhe is indeed a rather unique love story, where there lies both an affection for another (in case of Pallavi) and a big age difference (in case of Pooja) in between Viren and his happiness. Anil Kapoor is perfect in the role. His portrayal of the character is subdued and calm – a rather extraordinary thing to behold when it comes to him. Anil of that time was usually a hero roughly treated by life, wearing jeans and taking bloody revenges, but Viren is completely different. Quiet. Thoughtful. Sensitive. The scene where he sees Pooja for the first time, and thinking probably a miracle has happened and that is Pallavi in front of him, is extremely powerful even without words. I feel that very often people very unjustly leave him out when talking about the film. He deserves as much credit for making it beautiful as his leading lady.

As far as Sridevi is concerned, in my opinion, this is her best performance ever. It is one thing to admire about her, that as reserved and withdrawn she is in personal life, she is able to shake all her inhibitions off once the camera starts rolling. She is a delight to watch as both Pallavi and Pooja (characters that actually have a lot in common – apart from one being mature and one still very much childish). Her somehow constantly surprised and mischievous expression and innocence mirrored in those huge eyes lined carefully with kohl, is perfect. Her dancing in Megha Re Megha and Chhudian Khanak Bole wonderful. She infuses life into her role with so much conviction you cannot but applaud her.

Two other supporting actors, who absolutely need to be mentioned, because even without them Lamhe would not have been what it is, are already mentioned Waheeda Rehman and amother of my favourites Anupam Kher. Waheeda never lost her grace and aura, and even as wise and selfless Dai Jaa she is capable of winning the hearts of audience, and equals Sridevi´s overpowering screen presence with magic of her own. Ah! And that glorious moment when she actually bursts out singing her famous number from Guide! Anupam Kher as whacky, good-natured Prem, a friend of Viren´s, who keeps pushing him and Pooja together in his own sneaky but well-meant ways, is too endearing. His bonding with Sridevi in London is hilarious, his singing of Kabhi Kabhie near the end gets you emotional.

Lamhe has been many a time rejected by some viewers, who found the story incestous. I can understand where these people are coming from. Viren did love Pooja´s mother and he was the girl´s guardian. But at the same time, I never really thought about this while watching the film. It is not like Viren was married to Pallavi and then pulled off Woody Allen. Pooja´s eternal crush on Viren, is probably more questionable to me, and one has a feeling she had to be really cut off from all the society, because her whole existence seemed to center around a man she has only heard of. I read that Sridevi herself objected to the ending of Lamhe and i must say I too would find it more logical if Viren indeed refused Pooja and she went on with her life without him. Then again the film is so beautifully constructed and acted I have no major objections to the happy ending either.

The only flaw I find in Lamhe is – Siddhart aka non-actor Deepak Malhotra, whom the trees give a stiff competition. It really felt like Yash Chopra just stopped the first fair guy he found on the street, dressed him in a uniform and put him in front of the camera. Poor Mr. Malhotra was atrocious from stoned expression to non-existent dialogue delivery, and what a shame – he did not even look good with Sridevi. Then again he is there only to impregnate the heroine and die....

Yash Chopra films are famous for having wonderful soundtracks (mostly, though you could find exceptions) and Lamhe is no different. Melodies and lyrics woven into the story are flawless. My personal favourite apart from the obvious „desert“ number about bangle and a peacock has to be Gudia Rani picturized on my beloved Waheeda and little „Pooja“. There is something universally appealing in lullabies, wouldn´t you agree?

Lamhe is one of those films that stand witness how little the box office results tell when it comes to the quality of the film. A film to cherish. And the best film of an iconic director.

Chandra Mukhi

Directed by: Debaloy Dey

Starring: Salman Khan, Sridevi, Gulshan Grover, Mohnish Behl

Released: 1993

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The moment you see that on your screen you get an uneasy feeling. Regardless if you hate or love Salman Khan, he has not really been good with filmy ideas. Ever. But possibly nothing he ever came up after Chandra Mukhi was just as bad. Although I was told beforehand it was a try at sci-fi genre, and despite being generally very open to such ventures and being very tolerant overal, this film has taken the place of the most silly film I´ve seen, previously occupied by Rajkumar (with Madhuri Dixit and Anil Kapoor in the lead). There was one big hole where plot holes were meant to be. Basically nothing made sense. I keep wondering why would Sridevi even agree to make such a film!

Somewhere in space, undetected by NASA apparently, there is a golden realm where a Queen is ruling through a golden leaf that grants you every wish, and where the Princess flies through the air and is longing to go down „to the Earth“ and meet the humans. To prevent her from going anywhere the Queen decides to hand over the Golden leaf to her, thus making her a Queen. Because there is a catch you see – if she decides to go to the Earth, she has to return soon unless the kingdom will be destroyed.

"But mum! Responsibility sucks!"

The Princess is subsequently attacked by a macho guy with supernatural powers, who of course desires the Leaf, and she actually falls down to the Earth, loosing the Leaf in the process. On the Earth she encounters a little boy Raja with a sad, sad fate. His parents died a long time ago, and recently his disgustingly rich grandpa went missing as well. He is so terrorized by his evil uncle and his friends. Outraged by this injustice the Princess, who by now has began to call herself Chandra Mukhi, makes her jaddoo. Poof! Raja wakes up being an all grown up and unwaxed Salman Khan! Together with several kids Raja decides to go and find his grandfather, and very conveniently Chandra Mukhi decides to go look for her lost Golden leaf at the same place. They are chased by evil uncle and his companions as well as the macho guy who threw the Princess down from the high heavens in the first place...

The evil characters have all one quality in common: they are all incredibly idiotic and incapable of actually doing something evil. Heck, none of them even managed to kill the kids! And "ruling the world" is apparently limited to make things go boom with the Golden Leaf. And you can spend a whole day like it. But the good guys are not much smarter anyway. For example it is totally cool to forgive people who tried to kill you and your grandson repeatedly. And Sridevi basically tells us the best thing when face to face with death is to start dancing. Every single time. She is in her „let´s be cute“ mode throughout, something that does not necessarily work for her in this, and instead of innocent and good she comes across as immature and silly. True enough, her expressions are adorable, but somehow you feel cheated knowing what she´s capable of. She and Salman were hugely criticized as a couple, under a pretext that she is too old for him. I beg to differ. Sridevi is only 2 years older than Salman and if the story was different, they would actually create a nice jodi. However what betrays them as a couple is the main and most important twist of the whole thing.

"Yesterday I played with a teddy-bear. Today I´ll have sex with Sridevi. Oh yeah!"

The idea of little boy completely skipping growing up and the very next day romancing a grown woman in a very physical way just felt pedophilic. Even more so since he actually changes back into a boy in the end. One of the songs clearly implies that Chandramukhi and Raja most probably indulged in physical love – which basically makes you sick. He is just a boy imprisoned in a adult body after all! I don´t think I´ve ever seen anything more wrong in any film ever.

Songs were plenty and badly forced into the story, but on their own they were quite good and so a highlight. The technical aspects and special effects did not stand the test of time, be it the lasers flashing from Sridevi´s eyes or even the depiction of the spacy kingdom.

WTF-ery of the first class, that did not forget to show that even the beings from outer space need Hindu Gods to solve their problems.

"DA FUCK IS THIS?"

Sherni

Directed by: Harmesh Malhotra

Starring: Sridevi, Shatrughan Sinha, Pran, Kader Khan

Released: 1988

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

If you ever wondered what would it look like when a Bollywood star actress turns into female Rambo, this is a film that will give you an answer. Sridevi, for many the ultimate Yash Chopra´s „ideal woman in white“, obviously thought a change is needed and after being promised some black leather clothes and butt-kicking, she decided to give her dates to Sherni. Well, the result was not worth it. Sridevi plays a village girl Durga (quite an appropriate name considering what is inevitable), who, like all the Bollywood village girls at the beginning of the movie, is more into playing with kids half her age then anything else. She is also known for her explosive temperament and will beat the heck out of everyone who dares to create any injustice. Needless to say it doesn´t make her exactly popular among men. She lives with her mother and two younger siblings, and they wait for their father to return from prison, into which he was sent after false accusations from the villanious Thakur Dharampal Singh. Why or what the accusations were....... is obviously not important because it´s never mentioned or explained. Just the whole plot stands on it. I guess the filmmakers could not find any good excuse, so audience – just deal with it.

"But at least it allows me to have the coolest hairstyle."

But those terrible six months in jail have really angered the old man, and so he flees and with other guys grabs some guns, forms a bandit group and goes hide into the mountains, from where he leads a war against the Thakur. Durga refuses to go with him and to support her family she starts dancing on the streets. But what would one thought – people consider her a prostitute!! How unexpected and shocking. But fortunately a knight on a white horse saves her from all the insults! Or more like a dashing secret police officer coming in a red bus. OK, so it is ridiculously (compared to Sridevi) old and fat Raj (Shatrughan Sinha), who immediately takes an opportunity and acts like a long lost son to one of village women (fortunatelly she dies before she finds out she was deceived). He came to see how police operates in the area, and he is not amused. Police is one hand with the evil Thakur.

Now who wouldn´t fall in love at first sight, right?

....and who doesn´t fantasize of romancing this, hmm?

Meanwhile Durga falls in love with Raj (I guess script demanded it) and is having romantic thoughts while dancing and imagining him like a dummy (duh.... now that is something new and in a way also disturbing). While doing that she is spotted by Thakur´s evil brother Teja, who lusts after her, and after having her thrown into jail, having her released, getting her to his house and unsuccessful try to rape her, he and all the other evil guys chase her to her home, and before she can alarm her family they come and shoot everyone except her (why do villains do such silly mistakes?). So she shoots several of them in return and runs into the mountains to her father and his gang. And here comes the moment we all have been waiting for – Durga sheds off her saree and slips into tight black leather pants. Whoo hoo!! And not her father, but she becomes the menace to the evil guys.

Before....

After...

A story, that just might have had some potential to be interesting or moving, is unforgivably killed thanks to plotholes and laughable handling of the characters. Not to mention other little things like Pran´s silly hairstyle, already mentioned old and fat Sinha, and of course Durga going berserk dressed like for a Harley ride. For a simple village girl she handles guns way too professionally and needs no training at all. Her falling in love with Sinha is good for nothing, their complete lack of chemistry and non-sensial pairing doesn´t bring any romantic touch to the film anyway. In fact the whole character of Raj is needless and those few of his important scenes could have been done differently, making Sherni a film completely without a hero. Sridevi acts well, though not her best, but all her efforts lead nowhere, because I just could not take her seriously in that outfit and all. Nobody else is really worth a mention.

Srambo

She dances well and in the first part looks good, but music fails her (like many other things in this), except for the last song, during which you can finally stop laughing for a while and admire Sridevi´s dancing (but I was still asking myself how in the world could Teja have not recognized her).

I would call this an unsucessful attempt at heroine-oriented movie, that turned out unintentionally hilarious in the end. 

So you didn´t like my movie?

Julie (1975)

Directed by: K.S. Sethumadhavan

Starring: Laxmi, Vikram, Om Prakash, Nadira, Utpal Dutt, Rita Bhaduri, Sridevi

Released: 1975

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I came across this film while looking for something with Sridevi, and had it not been for her name, I probably wouldn´t bother to watch this, definitely not any time soon. But I was in „Sridevi-mood“ and finally hit the play button of my „Julie“ file. I didn´t get much of a Sridevi, whom I could not find for about thirty minutes (only then I realized she was just 13 and looking VERY different then how we are used to see her in the movies like Chandni or Mr. India), but I did get a touching, though not brilliant story about an ordinary girl with completely ordinary life.

There is truly nothing outstanding about Julie, a girl from slightly dysfunctional family, where mother is partly English and father completely Indian. She is quiet, reserved, with no big dreams or prospects. All she wants is to live peacefully, but that is not always easy, because her parents, even though they share a mutual affection, are two very different people, both with major flaws. Father is a good-natured guy who doesn´t like conflicts and drinks a lot, despite everyone begging him to stop. Mother, the more dominant in the family, takes great pride in her English roots and is always ready to claim the cheese bought in a local shop is actually imported from Europe, just to impress her similarly wanna-be-ish guests. The family is complete with Julie´s two younger siblings, brohter and sister. Julie´s ordinary life consists mostly of briging her father lunch in a bucket pail, riding on a top tube of her friend´s bike and slapping a local merchant who just won´t understand she is not interested in paying the bill with her beauty. For beautiful she is.

Meet Julie

Her drunk father

Her wanna-be mother

Her completely forgettable brother

And..... Sridevi!

The main twist creeps into the film together with a sudden return of Shashi, Julie´s best friend brother. The two fall in love (surprise surprise) but don´t tell anyone, especially not their mothers. Because just as Julie´s mother is Anglo-obssessed Christian who sees Indians as dirt, Shashi´s mother is a nearly fanatical Hindu who can barely stand the sight of Christian Julie. After some romancing (and some drinking) the two succumb to the physical passion in the middle of a song, after which Julie gets introduced to a popular Bollywood rule that first sex = pregnancy. And very conveniently Shashi leaves without even saying goodbye just before she can tell him. And so Julie has to share the secret with her mother, who doesn´t hesitate and immediatelly sends her daughter to a distant relative, where she can give birth to the child and the family prestige will not be harmed in the eyes of a local community........

The awkward moment when you realize your daughter is a total disgrace.

Just as I said – there is nothing outstanding about Julie the character or her family. I think the story, that definitely has moving moments, is so appealing because ti is so ordinary, that it could happen anywhere and at any time – in fact, I´m sure thousands and thousands of families (and not just in India) had to face such situation. Julie the film doe not bring a new thrilling concept, but it sensitively portrais the difficulties that go hand in hand with unwanted pregnancies of unwed girls. At the same time Julie´s pregnancy and motherhood are not the only issue in the film. The relationship of her parents plays a great part too and is brilliantly illustrated with short episodes like for example the buying of a car or the father getting drunk and embarrasing his wife during a Christmas party. The two mothers, who are so concerned about their families´ well-being and honour, are ironically the two who cause the most of the problems and both come off as over-posessive and selfish. And both excell in emotional blackmailing. The film ends on a happy note (of course and thank God!).

A valuable lesson in emotional blackmailing.

Laxmi as Julie is wonderful. I read she acted in pracitcally all language-versions of the film, but I have not seen those and I cannot compare, so even if she was better in Telugu, it doesn´t really concern me, because she was really good in Hindi. She is wonderfully desi beautiful with large almond eyes and she emotes well through them. Nadira as her mother is like a thunderous storm. She sweeps away everything that comes into her way and in a way is more interesting and charismatic then Julie herself, evne though her character is rather un-likeable most of the time. „Julie“ is a female oriented film through and through, and except for the drunk father and fleetingly appearing Shashi there are no male characters worth mentioning. As I have said at the very beginning, I initially wanted to watch this film for Sridevi, but she (and her „brother“) has no real role and pretty much is simply there to create an illusion of a family. She has about five lines, all meaningless and dubbed by somebody else´s voice. So do not make the same mistake I did and do not expect Sridevi. Expect Laxmi, lots of tears and a bucket pail.