Quickies I.

Just quick takes on several different films.....

FASHION

Directed by: Madhur Bhandarkar
Starring: Priyanka Chopra, Kangana Ranaut, Arbaaz Khan
Released: 2008

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

This did not look like a Bollywood movie at all..... and it works great, though I must admit it´s not a film I would like to watch again, definitely not the whole thing at one time. Priyanka was brilliant, especially in the second part, looked absolutely fabulous, but I must admit I was even more smitten by Kangana´s performance as Shonali. This was the film that made me love her - and then the love was taken away by Tanu weds Manu and Game.... but here the magic still prevails. As far as her performance goes it was THE EXPERIENCE for me. The movie was really a girl´s show from the beggining to end, though Arbaaz deserves a mention. Sometimes it happens to me, that the three hours, which a is a regular time for Bollywood movies, are just tooooooo damn long. I did not have this feeling during this movie.

It was nice to see Konkona and Ranvir, whom both I love, but let´s face it: that scene was simply good for nothing, because it was not related to the story in any way, hence it didn´t really work even as a special appearance. Music was nice, but nothing much to talk about. No songs. In this particular case thank God for that.

Now I need to go and watch Hum Aapke Hain Koun to get me out of depression. Joote Do Paise Lo.....!!!!!!
----------

WAKE UP SID

Directed by Ayan Mukerji
Starring: Ranbir Kapoor, Konkona Sen Sharma, Anupam Kher
Released: 2009

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I had no idea what the plot is, all I knew it has Koko and Ranbir. And they were both just great in this nice, slow and charming movie!!! I thoroughly enjoyed the beggining, because Sid had the same illness as me - procrastination!!!! Pity his friends kinda disappeared after first 30 minutes, but in the end they were really not too important for the story. I really liked the plot - no dramatic over the top situations, just simple tale of a man finally growing up...... and for once the growth of love was understandable, enjoyable and BELIEVABLE!!!

As I already said, Ranbir was great. I love the guy! And Koko is brilliant. I would so love to see her in more movies. She does not have a nice profile, but otherwise she is IMO much more gorgeous then Katrina or Sonam. And her talent is unquestionable.

Very enjoyable movie, that slows down a bit in the second half. The word I would describe it would be "refreshing".
----------

TAAL

Directed by: Subhash Ghai
Starring: Aishwariya Rai, Akshaye Khanna, Anil Kapoor
Released: 1999

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Movie that is anything but exciting. Full of half-baked characters, out of whom only Anil had something that would interest you. But there are definitely some plus poits. One was Aishwarya - I don´t know whatever has happened to her nowdays, but she used to be so adorable! I mean - she was so very natural in this film, it was sheer pleasure to watch her. I´m also a fan of her simple look without much make-up and jewellery, so this worked as well. She danced BEAUTIFULLY. Another plus point was Anil - his acting was a highlight. And then there is BEAUTIFUL title song that is absolutely magical. I loved the picturization as well. In fact the whole soundtrack of Taal can be definitely labeled as one of the best Rahman´s albums. Pity not all the voices used suited Aishwariya...

I was SHOCKED to see Amrish Puri was not a bad guy!!! That is something that just isn´t right...

And I will never understand why Bollywood heroines so often love the most impossible jerks. Akshaye´s character was purely annoying to me (and mind you, I adore Akshaye!). He was just too sure of himself!!! And then he gave away the finale halfway through the film!!! "You will send her to me, she will come out of her own decision...." blah blah blah..... And then to ensure his success in the end he decides to use a CUTE DOG as a weapon!!!! Now that is EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILING!!!!

----------

MOHRA

Directed by: Rajiv Rai
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Raveena Tandon, Naseeruddin Shah, Suniel Shetty
Released: 1994

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The greatest strengh of this movie is the plot no doubt. And it is also (together with the somehow psychotic Naseeruddin Shah) the only saving grace. The first hour was somehow boring and full of WTF (the jail was WTF for sure. No police anywhere in sight, prisoners roaming wherever they wanted to....). I never thought much about Akshay as an actor (thought he looked YUMMY here, never liked him anywhere else), and Raveena too was average. The second part of the film is definitely thrilling and has some good moments, but somehow I have overgrown the totally totally evil evil guys and totally totally good good police officers. Once again the twists in the story were great and unexpected. What I hated was the stolen melody - this time from Jesus Christ Superstar.
----------

BAABUL

Directed by: Ravi Chopra
Starring: Rani Mukherjee, Amitabh Bachchan, Salman Khan, John Abraham, Hema Malini
Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

The first 90 minutes were like watching Hum Aapke Hain Koun 2 (except Salman did not look cute, more like silly this time) - all was there from warm family relationships, celebratory songs, wedding, pregnancy......... but the magic of HAHK was not present at all. The second part was nothing but boring and the ending was a bit too quick a bit naive - and also ended up on HAHK note. I really liked Rani though, she was awesome and very believable and also Amitabh gave a good performance. The scenes between him and Rani are the highlits and it is interesting to note that Rani had more chemistry with him then with Salman or John. Those two are easily overshadowed by Rani and Big B. Om Puri and Hema Malini whose characters were IMO quite essential to the story, were unnecceserilly and unforgivably sidelined.

Only worth watching for Rani and her interaction with Amitabh.

Ready

Directed by: Anees Bazmi

Starring: Salman Khan, Asin, Paresh Rawal, Mahesh Manjrekar

Released: 2011

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

I don´t think I even want to describe the basic story here. I was so terribly bored by it, did not one bit cared for it. Or anything in the film for that matter. But for the sake of my usual format of reviews, here comes:

Prem is a laadla and also a pain of his family consisting of parents, aunties and uncles. They believe the way for him to mend his mischievous ways is to get married, and once they find a suitable girl they invite her over. However because of some lying, running away and misunderstandings the real bride is left on the airport and leaves for her friend´s place while and impostor takes her place. Sanjana, posing as the chosen girl, quickly wins over the whole family – except Prem himself. Eventally the love grows between them while they are hanging above a chasm (literally). But Sanjana is a niece of two powerful goons Amar Chaudry and Sooraj Chaudry, who both want to marry her off to their brothera-in-law, because she inherited a big fortune from her mother. Amar and Sooraj are sworn enemies, both on the look out for Sanjana...

K. Asif is turning in his grave

Salman is riding on the success of Dabangg. That´s it. While in Dabangg he gave a solid performance, in Ready he doesn´t bother in the least to make some effort, and either sleep walks through the scenes completely uninterested, or is simply himself. The character of Prem doesn´t have anything from the edginess of Chulbul or sweetness of the Prem from HAHK, though it seemed to me Ready is supposed to be a blend of both with some massala-ish comedy thrown in. And though he looks great for his age, Salman just doesn´t look suitable for the roles of loverboys on this level.

Whatever humour there might be it is taken care of my Salman´s „family“, he himself did not make me even smile. See – if he was so apparently bored by the film, how should it entertain me? But I suffered through it nontheless, hoping there just might be something worth seeing. Not even the cameos by Sanjay Dutt, Kangana Ranaut, Ajay Devgn, Arbaaz Khan and Zarine Khan are exactly worth it, as they all appear in first ten minutes.

The girl who failed to impress

This was my first film with Asin, and I was quite curious about her, must say she didn´t make much of an impression. Her role was unforgivably limited to being artificially bitchy in the first part and completely disappearing in the second. But I guess you don´t refuse a film with Salman Khan. Even if he´s scaring spoilt kids running around a fun fair in a skeleton costume, NOT being funny.

Wasn´t impressed with music, no, not even Dhinka Chika and Character Dheela that kept shouting at me from all sides ever since the promotion of the film started.

Perhaps not worst, but definitely one of the weakest films of 2011 and without a single shade of doubt the most overrated hit of the year. Anees Bazmi is now officially my least favourite director. In the end he doesn´t fail to deliver at least one sexistic message. Prem´s "That´s the first time a woman said something wise" line woke up my feministic side with a roar.

This is how I felt for the most part of the film.

Vivah

Directed by: Sooraj Barjatya

Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Amrita Rao, Anupam Kher, Alokh Nath

Released: 2006

Verdict: destroy every copy – horrible – bad – whatever – flawed but enjoyable - good – great – amazing

Twelve years after Hum Aapke Hain Koun Sooraj Barjatya decided to strike with another wedding video starring gorgeous heroine, handsome hero, loving families, perfect relationships (except for some minor flaws) lots of sweet songs and chocolates. However while Hum Aapke Hain Koun pulls off the rather non-existent plot brilliantly, Vivah, though there is nothing particularly wrong with it, did not manage to do so, neither it succeeded in recreating the magic.

Alokh Nath and Anupam Kher switched places and so this time Anupam is from the boy´s side, while the other one is raising the girl. She is not his daughter, but an orphaned niece Poonam. Unlike him, his wife doesn´t feel any love for Poonam, simply for the reason she has her own daughter who is dusky unlike perfectly beautiful niece.

Anupam is a father to Prem (Sooraj Barjatya has a thing for this name like Yash Chopra and Karan Johar do for Rahul), on a lookout for a bride. And who would have thought, Alokh Nath is in search for a groom for Poonam. And when these two meet, wedding is in the air.

1994

Twelve years later.

The bride and groom take immediate deep liking to each other. The two families love each other too. And apart from a joined family holiday don´t expect anything from the most of the film. Sadly the songs and romance simply don´t match up to legendary HAHK, and so for most of the film I kept looking at the time line which was moving with a snail speed. I was glad that the two main leads are played by Amrita Rao and Shahid Kapoor, because they both are such beautiful people, you can at least concentrate on them, wishing they had babies in real life, because beauty should be preserved for the next generations, while nothing is going on on the screen. They indeed make a beautiful couple.

And then tragedy strikes. And yet again I just cannot help but to do a little comparism to HAHK – while there the tragedy caused a problem, even thought mainly because of some communication holes more then anything else, in Vivah the tragedy doesn´t change anything at all. And we are heading for a happy ending.

This film is about...

...long meaningful stares...

...and fleeting meaningful gestures.

If you have a diabetes, this is not a film for you. Just five minutes would kill you, that´s how sweet everything and everyone is. They are all good in their roles. But none of the characters on their own are remarkable, and I highly doubt any of the actors would rank their performance in Vivah as their best.

Had it come out before Hum Aapke Hain Koun, I´m sure it would have been revolutionary (the way HAHK was), but since it´s coming a long time after, I couldn´t shake off the feeling that Sooraj Barjatya was simply trying his luck with the same story again. But Shahid Kapoor doesn´t have Salman´s charm. Amrita Rao doesn´t have Madhuri´s energy. And Prem´s nephew is nowhere near Tuffy (anyone else thinks the boy was a replacement of a „cute animal“ which usually is present in these kind of films?)

Vivah is a nice watch for a VERY lazy afternoon, and might be also ideal for putting you to sleep. Because in spite of being nice, it is unforgivably boring as well. In a way it really is what the full title promises: a detailed, idealistic documentary about a highly appropriate “way from engagement to marriage”.

I was just told we don´t  have any more laddoos.

No more laddoos?

We ate them all.

You must be strong Poonam. We have completely run ouf ot laddoos.